Voss was a cold-blooded killer. Voss deserved to die.
The rage grew inside me, consuming every corner of my being. I pulled and pulled it free from Jax and threw it with wrath into Voss’s trembling body.
I could sense the darkness taking Voss over, rendering him completely incapacitated. I felt him writhing on the ground in agony as I hurled the pain into every molecule of his wretched body.
I was killing him. Voss deserved to die.
I was killing him.
I was killing him.
I heard voices beside me, felt hands on my arms with concern, but I was too consumed to respond.
I was killing Voss.
Anguish pulsed through me all at once. I had sworn never to let another man die. Not by my hand. Not if I could help it.
I wasn’t a killer. My purpose was to heal.
I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill a man. Not even a murderer like Voss.
All at once, my straining body changed focus. I pulled the tainted energy back to me, trying to take it away. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on, but my determination wouldn’t allow me to let go. I pulled and pulled with all my strength, but it was more difficult than ever before.
Then, I understood why it was so straining. The darkness was clinging to Voss’s body, as if he wanted it to stay. The misery inside him grasped at the strands, holding on with all their force. It was like the darkness had been a part of Voss for so long that the pain was embraced as a crucial part of him.
I yanked the tethers harder. I had to do everything in my power not to let him die. Every inch of my body shook from the strain until I could feel the physical injuries lift away from Voss’s body. I knew I had saved his life.
It would make sense to give up and let go, but there was still so much darkness left inside him. An instinctive drive took over my being. I had to heal the darkness with light. I couldn’t be done after just healing his body, my soul longed to heal his misery too.
I searched every inch of my being for strength, forcing out my light, pushing it into Voss’s body to steal all the darkness I could. I wanted so badly to help him, but the wretchedness inside him fought back at every turn.
There was so much grief and bitterness, so much malicious intent... I tried with all my might, but I just couldn’t stand it any longer.
My body couldn’t it take it anymore. The injuries and darkness took over completely, and I felt myself collapse in defeat.
28. RAYNE SEES THE LIGHT
Rayne glared back at Voss who lay cuffed in the back of the SUV, and then slid his hands under Sadie’s limp body, gently lifting her out of the back seat to carry her up to the safe house. The other team members drove away to take Voss to border security while Rayne took Sadie up to her room and laid her on the bed.
Despite all that she had been through, her face looked peaceful as she slept. He would sit there by her side as long as it took for her to wake up. Sadie was his everything. He hated to see her in such a vulnerable state. It seemed so unfair that she was given these amazing gifts, and yet she had to sacrifice so much of herself in order to use them.
Rayne took her hand softly and caressed her fingers, wishing that his touch could somehow make her burden easier.
The sound of the front door slamming downstairs caused Rayne to release Sadie’s hand. His head cocked to the side as he heard voices from the living room.
Rayne moved cautiously to the top of the stairs out in the hallway. As he suspected, the loudest voice was Orion’s. Rayne’s jaw tightened as he went down to confront him.
As soon as Orion made eye contact he stomped toward Rayne. “Where’s Ms. James?” Orion demanded. “I need to speak to her immediately.”
Rayne folded his arms. “She’s asleep.”
Orion gestured to one of his men. “Wake her and bring her here,” he ordered. “It’s urgent.”
Rayne stepped in front of the agent. “I can’t let you do that. She’s been through quite an ordeal and has used up all her strength. She probably won’t wake up even if you try.”
Orion gritted his teeth as he scowled. “Why has nobody been answering my phone calls? We have to take action before Voss escapes completely off the grid. He’s getting away as we speak.”
Rayne stood firm. “Actually, he’s not. My team already secured Voss. They’re on their way now to take him across the border.”
“What?” Orion barked. “You went after him without my approval?”
“You and your men left without so much as an explanation,” Rayne argued. “We had no choice but to go after Voss ourselves.”
Orion’s lip curled as he clenched his hand in a fist. “How dare you go over my head like that. This is my team and my operation. Once you secured Voss you should have contacted me immediately.”
“We were a little busy,” Rayne said dryly. “We needed to take Voss to the border as soon as possible. We weren’t about to hang around here waiting for you and give Voss another opportunity to escape.”
“Did Voss speak to any of you?” Orion said, frustrated. “Did he say anything that would lead you to believe he had other plans set in place?”
Rayne laughed under his breath. “After Sadie was done with him, Voss was too weak to even hold up his own head, let alone talk.”
“Fine,” Orion said curtly. “I’m heading to the border now. He motioned to his men. “Pack up your things and meet me there.” Then, Orion turned to Rayne. “Report back to security as soon as she’s awake. Ms. James and I have some things to discuss.”
With that, Orion whirled and strode out the door.
Orion’s men were gone shortly after, leaving Rayne free to go back upstairs to check on Sadie. She hadn’t moved an inch since he left her there in bed.
An hour or so later, Jax appeared at the bedroom door. He tapped lightly on the door, quietly announcing his return.
“Hey,” Jax greeted. “How is she?”
“Her pulse is stable,” Rayne said. “But she hasn’t moved since we got here. Whatever she did out there today, I think it took every last bit of energy she had.”
Jax glanced down at his stomach and touched his fingers to the stains of blood. “I owe her my life. I would have bled out in a matter of minutes if it weren’t for her.”
Jax stepped toward the bed, his eyes centered on Sadie’s face. “Do you mind if I stay a while?” he asked.
Rayne glanced at the floor. “Um, sure, buddy. You can stay.”
Jax pulled up a chair next to Rayne, his eyes hardly breaking from Sadie’s direction.
At first they sat in silence. Rayne couldn’t help but glance out of the corner of his eye, watching as Jax seemed to admire Sadie with a strange look of awe.
All this time Rayne didn’t want to admit it to himself, but seeing Jax here with Sadie now, made it difficult to ignore. There was obviously something special between the two of them. How could there not be? How could anyone spend as much time with Sadie as Jax had and not fall in love with her?
Suddenly, Rayne couldn’t hold himself back. “You know how much I love her, right?” he said to Jax.
Jax seemed a little taken off guard. “Oh, um, of course,” he replied. “Anyone with eyes could see that.”
“The thing is...” Rayne went on, “As much as I love Sadie, I feel like there’s been this sort of wedge between us since we’ve been out here, actually even before we left on this mission.”
Jax nodded thoughtfully in response. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Rayne swallowed. “I hate to say it, but I can’t help feeling like part of the reason for this distance between us... is you.”
Jax made eye contact with him, hesitating.
Rayne continued. “It’s just, from what I can tell, the two of you have grown really close since she moved to Banya, especially since she started going to you for training. And I think you’re a really great guy and everything, but I have to admit that it’s been bothering me lately.”
Rayn
e took a deep breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say is... I need to know what your intentions are with her. I mean, am I way off base here? Just be straight with me.”
Jax sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “No, man, you’re not off base. I don’t blame you for worrying. The truth is... I have been fighting back and forth with some feelings about Sadie.”
Rayne closed his eyes and nodded. It was hard to hear, but it was what he was expecting.
“It’s kind of hard not to,” Jax added. “I wasn’t really sure what it was that I was feeling, but when Sadie’s around, it’s like this light just radiates from her. It was hard not to let it draw me in. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. You probably know better than anyone.”
Rayne nodded again and stared at the edge of the bed. “Of course I do,” he said. “Sadie is special. I’ve known that since she was a little girl. She doesn’t even realize what kind of effect she has on people. And now that she’s discovered these abilities she has, it’s like...” he paused and shook his head. “There just aren’t words to describe it.”
“I know,” Jax agreed. “When she healed me I felt it. I’ve never felt so much positive energy in my life. It was like everything good in the universe was centered on me all at once. She glowed like all the angels in heaven lived inside her.” Jax stopped and gazed at Sadie’s face. “I know that probably sounds a little overboard, but I don’t know how else to describe it.”
Rayne fidgeted with his hands. “No, I understand. I know exactly what you mean.” He turned to face his friend. “Listen, Jax,” he began. “I think you’re a great guy, and what I want most of all is for Sadie to be happy. When we were out there today, I saw her face when you got shot. Sadie looked devastated. She looked terrified of losing you. It would kill me more than anything to let her go, but if it was what she wanted, and she really felt that it was best for her... I love her enough to let her go. I would be happy if she was with someone like you.”
Jax’s eyes went wide. “Whoa, whoa, hang on a second. That’s not what I was trying to say. Well okay, yes, I was confused at first about my feelings for Sadie, but you have to know that she is definitely meant to be with you. And I have way too much respect for you to ever even think about pursuing her.”
Rayne shook his head. “I love her more than my own life, but that doesn’t mean that someone else isn’t better for her.”
Jax threw up his hands. “Okay, let me just stop you right there. First of all, I have no doubt in my mind that you’re the perfect guy for her, and that the two of you are meant to be together. And second, something happened to me out there when she healed me. It was like I felt this overwhelming bond with her, but through that bond it made everything I was confused about clear. My feelings for Sadie are not romantic in any way. It’s more like I feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude and admiration for her. I do think I love her, but I think it’s more like... a brotherly love. Like if she were my sister, like I would do anything to protect her.”
Rayne squinted. “Seriously? You’re not just saying that because we’re friends, are you?”
“I swear on my mother’s life,” Jax insisted. “I have no desire to steal Sadie away from you. Nothing would make me happier than to see the two of you live happily ever after.”
Rayne smiled through a sigh of relief. “Thanks, buddy,” he said. “You’re a good friend.”
Jax nodded. “Would it bother you if I still want to spend time with her, though? I mean, I don’t have a lot of genuine friends, and Sadie just has this way of making me feel accepted for who I really am. She’s one of the only people in Banya that has helped me believe that I can be more than what Ambrosia or my father has made me to be.”
Rayne placed a hand on Jax’s shoulder. “I’m glad she’s your friend. If you want to spend time with her, I think I’m okay with that.”
29. COMMUNICATION
My eyes opened slowly. My brain expected to see my bedroom at my apartment on the Academy grounds, just like any normal morning on campus, but the room was only vaguely familiar. It took me a moment, but I finally remembered where I was. We were still at the safe house by the Threshold border.
The last thing I remembered was fighting with my inner light to try to save Voss from his state of misery. Then a picture flashed in my mind of the very last thing I saw before I passed out. In that final moment, Voss’s black eyes stared back at me with a tormented look. And then the strangest feeling came over me as I noticed one tiny corner of his eye that wasn’t black anymore. A fragment of luminous blue shown through, seeming out of place against the darkness. It was like a tiny piece of Voss’s light had been restored.
I rolled on my side, wishing to forget the image of Voss, when a comforting face caught my eye.
Jax sat up from a slouched position in his chair next to my bed. “Hey, you’re awake,” he greeted cheerfully.
Suddenly, my last memory of Jax sprang to mind. He was shot and covered in blood, his body on the verge of death.
“Jax!” I cried. “Are you okay? Are you still hurt?”
I bounced forward in the bed toward him.
Jax laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
“So, you’re okay then? I healed you?” I asked earnestly.
He smiled. “Thanks to you, I’m as good as new.”
I lunged forward and threw my arms around his neck. “I’m so glad that you’re okay.”
Jax squeezed me back. “You were amazing, Sade. You saved my life out there.” He pulled back to look at me. “What about you? Are you feeling okay?”
Despite the sudden burst of energy I had when I first saw Jax, I couldn’t deny how exhausted I felt.
I yawned and sat back against the bed. “I’m still pretty tired.”
As I started to gain my bearings a flash of concern crossed my mind. Where was everybody else? What happened to the team after I passed out?
I sat forward again abruptly. “Where’s Rayne?” I asked in alarm.
“It’s okay,” Jax said. “Rayne just went to pick up some dinner. You must be starving.”
“Dinner?” I repeated. “Wait, how long was I out? What happened with Voss?”
Jax smiled warmly. “Don’t worry. Voss is in custody in Banya. Orion and the rest of the team are back in Banya as well. Rayne and I stayed here to wait for you to wake up. You slept all through the night and most of the day.”
Jax tilted his head at the chair next to him. “Rayne slept in that chair all night, like he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving your side. He’s been checking your pulse and your Watermark constantly to make sure you’re still okay.” Jax scooted forward in his seat. “He’s going to be bummed he wasn’t here to finally see you wake up. I picked up lunch earlier and told him I had no problem going out again, but you know Rayne, he insisted on taking his turn to go get dinner.”
My lips lifted at the corners, picturing Rayne sitting with me devotedly all night long.
“Rayne should be back any minute,” Jax added, “but can I get you a drink or something in the meantime?”
I nodded. “Some water would be great.”
“No problem,” Jax said, popping up from his chair. “Coming right up.”
Jax returned a minute later and handed me a cold bottle of water. Then he stood there, watching me, as if looking for his next words.
“Can I get you anything else?” he finally asked.
“No this is fine,” I answered.
Jax nodded, staring down at his hands, tapping his thumbs together awkwardly.
My brow pinched. “Is everything okay?”
Jax’s mouth twisted a little. “Actually, no,” he said. He sat down purposefully in the chair closest to me. “Do you think we could talk for a minute?” he said. “I think there’s something I need to explain.”
I took a sip of water and swallowed it down nervously, worried at what might be coming. Things had been so strange between us lately.
“I think I owe you an
apology,” Jax began. “I’ve been sending you some pretty mixed signals the last few days. I was pretty confused about some things I was feeling when I was around you. The truth is... I’ve been fighting off these feelings ever since you started coming to my house for training.”
I stared back at him with big, concerned eyes, realizing all the things I was questioning about him were true. All those little moments when I thought I was feeling something more from his essence, it turned out he was feeling them too.
“I want you to know that I’ve talked to Rayne about this,” Jax went on. “Actually, he was the one who first brought it up, but I’m glad he did. I respect him deeply and it felt good to be straight with him.”
I swallowed again. “What did you two talk about?”
Suddenly, Jax gripped my hand. “I can’t tell you what a relief this is. I struggled with this for so long, but I’m not confused anymore.”
My pulse quickened. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had to say. I kept trying to convince myself that Jax was nothing more than a special friend, but I knew there were those moments... those little moments that made me wonder if there was something more.
But then, I looked down at his hand clutching mine—Jax’s hand—and all I wanted to do was pull it away. Not because I didn’t care for him, but because it wasn’t Rayne’s. Jax was wonderful, and I knew I cared for him deeply, I even loved him in some way, but his hand wasn’t the one I wanted. All I ever wanted was Rayne.
I shook my head. “Jax, what are you trying to say?”
Jax’s eyes seemed hopeful and optimistic. “I’m saying... I felt something amazing when you healed me out there last night. I felt warmth, and love, and acceptance. I felt a bond with you that will never fade away.”
I continued to gaze back at him, unable to respond.
“But it was different than I expected,” Jax continued. “I know now that I love you; I know that I do.”
Flood Rising (The Water Keepers, Book 4) Page 24