by Scott, D. D.
PRAISE FOR D. D. SCOTT’S BOOKS
Praise for The Bootscootin’ Books (BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS, STOMPIN’ ON STETSONS, and BUCKLES ME BABY):
“Wow! I loved this…The descriptions are so vivid and colorful it really feels like the reader’s going through the same wild rollercoaster ride…It’s a funny, sexy, sassy attitude of a read, and I can’t wait to get stuck into the next one.” —Sibel Hodge, author of The Amber Fox Mysteries
“I laughed from page one on…The author has a way with twisting phrases. Bootscootin’ was a delight. I’m loading up on her other books. She’s a shoe-in for one of my favorite chicklit authors.” —Barbara Silkstone, author of The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland Age 42 and Three-Quarters
“Are you ready for a really fun read? I hope so…So sit back and get ready to laugh.” —Karen Cantwell, author of Take The Monkeys and Run
“…who doesn’t need a laugh? Laugh ‘til you (you fill it in) with D. D. Scott’s BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS, and more…” —Steve Windwalker, Kindle Nation Daily
Praise for The Cozy Cash Mysteries (THUG GUARD and LIP GLOCK):
“As soon as I read her first book, “Bootscootin’ Blahniks,” I put all her books on my Kindle. They have it all … romance, high fashion, adorable animals, feisty women, gorgeous guys, quirky characters, good food, great dancing …. The ultimate escape without spending a fortune on a vacation.” —Pj Schott
“Packed with Punch…D.D. Scott has hit another one out of the park in her cross over into the mystery genre! I loved reading about the high-heeled, plastic badge toting Zoey Witherspoon. With her Naked Juice to help pump her up, and not to mention Roman as eye candy. Zoey’s two worlds collide forcing her to jet across the WORLD discovering new bodies and figuring out the who0-dun-it! Amazing! D.D is the QUEEN of chick-lit gone country with a mystery twist of cross pollinating!! A must read!! FIVE STARS!! —Tonya Kappes, Author of Splitsville.com
“WOW…What an Adventure…Zoey, Roman, Fashion Week in Europe and the bad guys chasing them. Makes for fun light reading. Great read for me after some heavy and deep murder mysteries. One needs a break and this is it. —Older but Wiser
“Who Needs Bourne When You’ve Got Zoey Witherspoon…Everyone in Hollywood packs a hyphen; you’ve got your writer-directors, your agent-producers and your actor-parking valets. Well, Zoey Witherspoon is a completely different kind of Hollywood Hyphenate. She’s a studio stylist-interior designer-P.I.
Picture Stephanie Plum here, but with a tall, dark and brooding Bond-type as her sidekick. Together, they’re hot on the trail of a Ponzi-scheming con man who makes Madoff look like a Filene’s bargain basement mark-down. Their trail takes them from Rodeo Drive to the Riviera, butting heads with everyone from crown royalty to the Russian mob.
This is one fast and furious, funny as H-E-Double Hockeysticks caper story, and I literally found my abs aching from laughter by the end of the first chapter. With books like Bootscootin’ Blahniks and Stompin’ on Stetsons under her belt, D.D. Scott is already a master at wise-cracking characters and action that moves as fast as any Ludlum flick. In fact, think of Zoey Witherspoon as Jason Bourne — with a good set of French tips and a designer holster for her Glock.
The difference is, D.D. is a master at making you laugh while both you and Zoey are hanging by your fingernails, over the edge of her latest cliff. Like a lot of the characters in D.D.’s latest book, Thug Guard just plain kills.
Buy it. Read it. Laugh your hindquarters off. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.” —Jeff Lee, Author of The Ladies Temperance Club’s Farewell Tour
I thoroughly enjoyed Thug Guard and instantly took a liking to lead protagonist Zoey Witherspoon. She’s sassy, witty and she’s also feisty and one tough chick. I also happen to be a big fan of The Rachel Zoe project and part of the reason this story appealed to me is because it has it all — mystery, suspense, humor, a HAWT hero (Roman was delightful) and Fashion Week! I’ve just hopped on board DD.Scott’s Cozy Cash Mysteries train and I’m enjoying the ride! Next stop — Lip Glock! —Lisa Lim, Author of Confessions of a Call Center Gal
D.D. Scott’s
Special Edition Ebook Boxed Set
featuring
BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS, STOMPIN’ ON STETSONS, BUCKLES ME BABY
THUG GUARD, LIP GLOCK
and FLUID FULFILLMENT
Featured Ebooks
BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS Copyright © 2010 by D. D. Scott
STOMPIN’ ON STETSONS Copyright © 2010 by D. D. Scott
BUCKLES ME BABY Copyright © 2011 by D. D. Scott
THUG GUARD Copyright © 2011 by D. D. Scott
LIP GLOCK Copyright © 2011 by D. D. Scott
FLUID FULFILLMENT Copyright © 2011 by D. D. Scott
All titles copyright D.D. Scott. This compilation is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author or publisher.
Ebook design by 52 Novels
Smashwords Edition: December 2011
Contents
Bootscootin’ Blahniks | Stompin’ on Stetsons
Buckles Me Baby | Thug Guard | Lip Glock | Fluid Fulfillment
About the Author | Also by D. D. Scott
Note from D. D. Scott
Thanks to the request of all my superfab D. D. Scott-ville readers and fans, I’m bringing you this D. D. Scott Special Edition Ebook Boxed Set.
If you’re like me, when my peeps tell me about a new author, I want to read all the books by that author in order. That way, I never miss a thing about any of the characters and their lives between the pages.
With that in mind, I created this D. D. Scott Special Edition Ebook Boxed Set.
Now, you can one-click-buy my entire backlist and know the exact order in which to read the books — as that’s the order you’ll find them as you read through this collection.
I had a ball writing The Bootscootin’ Books and just couldn’t stand parting with all my quirky-crazy characters. So…I brought ‘em all along for my Cozy Cash Mysteries plus added-to my ensemble casts and zany crews.
In the mean time, I’ve had sooo many of you request new stories, featuring my Bootscootin’ Books and Cozy Cash Mysteries’ Mom Squad Characters, that I decided I’d treat y’all to short stories too!
Each short story will feature at least one of The Mom Squad quirky-crazy, blue-haired Charlie’s Angels wanna-be’s! You’ll get to meet their extended families PLUS learn the unique skill each Mom Squad Member has been trained-to by The Cozy Cash Mysteries’ QuarterMaster R.
And guess what?!
I’ve also included the first Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery in this Special Edition Ebook Boxed Set!!!
FLUID FULFILLMENT features Roxy’s mom Lily Vaughn, who some say is now fairly gifted in Ju-Jitsu.
This Boxed Set is the perfect gift to treat yourself to both my Bootscootin’ and my Cozy Cash Mystery Worlds.
In addition, it makes the perfect Kindle Gift Copy for all your peeps who love romantic comedies and comedic capers. If you haven’t tried out the Kindle Gift Copy Feature, check it out! Just go to the Amazon Page for this product and choose the option that says — Give as a Gift. All you need is your recipient’s email address.
And speaking of gifts and the 2011 Holiday Season…
What’s coming next to D. D. Scott-ville?
October 2011
LICENSED FOR LOVE — Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #2 — features Jules’ Aunt Tulip, who, rumor has it, is now not just a sex therapist, but also a femme fatale.
Thanksgiving 2011
My first ever Cozy Cash Christmas Novella — HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO — plus superfab Christmas novellas from the amazing Tonya Kappes, Lee Lopez, and from across the pond (as in a UK Author) Talli Roland – all bundled-up for you in one rockin’ Christmas Anthology — MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE. I’m over the moon for HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO — think Will and Kate gone Bond, James Bond in The Grinch’s Who-ville.
Now then…for 2012:
Rumor has it, you can expect a Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mysteries Collection, as well as at least three more Cozy Cash Mysteries and a couple other waaay wonderful releases too!!!
Nothin’ beats treatin’ my readers and fans to great books for great prices!!!
So stay-in your comfy reading chairs and prepare to continue to LOL for months and years to come!!!
Happy Reading! —D. D. Scott
P.S. For all the fantabulous scoop on the upcoming books in my series, visit my website at http://www.DDScott.com and sign-up for my mailing list. And if this is your first D. D. Scott book, Welcome to my Bootscootin’ and Cozy Cash Mystery Worlds. Here are my books — in order — (in case, you’re like me, and prefer to read series in order):
BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS (Bootscootin’ Book #1)
STOMPIN’ ON STETSONS (Bootscootin’ Book #2)
BUCKLES ME BABY (Bootscootin’ Book #3)
THUG GUARD (Cozy Cash Mystery #1)
LIP GLOCK (Cozy Cash Mystery #2)
FLUID FULFILLMENT (Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #1)
LICENSED FOR LOVE (Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #2)
HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO (Cozy Cash Mystery Christmas Novella #1)
CARATS & COCONUTS (Cozy Cash Mystery #3, Coming in January 2012)
***And for you writer peeps, here’s my #1 Amazon Bestselling, On-Writing Book MUSE THERAPY: UNLEASHING YOUR INNER SYBIL***
Bootscootin’ Blahniks
Book One of the Bootscootin’ Series
“Line dance history is like human history — there’s pre-history and then there is written history…”
Bill Bader
Chapter One
The nanosecond the light turned green, Roxy Rae Vaughn pressed the gas pedal toward the floorboard of her Mercedes. She didn’t have time to jack around. Her boutique opened in an hour. It took twenty-two more minutes to get there, thirty-three minutes to make everything perfect before she unlocked the doors for customers, and she counted on five minutes to spare. Apparently, the driver in the beat-up pick-up truck in front of her had all kinds of time for lollygagging. But she didn’t and took-up her speed another notch.
Dipstick yelped. His pudgy Puggles’ body slid across the passenger seat’s pashmina-covered, leather cushion then propelled off the heated lumbar rest. Not to be outdone by her litter brother, Darling whined from the backseat, followed by an odd, panic-laden pant.
A bit worried by her dogs’ unusual behavior, Roxy cracked the windows a smidgeon. Normally, her dogs were good riders. Perhaps they needed some fresh air. Maybe the stress in her life had reached her dogs too. She’d read that animals can sense their family’s upheaval. So yeah. Maybe that was it. She certainly had enough mayhem to share.
For starters, not every Fifth Avenue-raised woman gave it all up for Nashville Tennessee. But she did. And even though she was on the path to becoming the next starving artist, she was determined to make a success of her new life and her new boutique. Maybe she was crazy like her mother insinuated. Must be an inherited trait.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Roxy sighed, inhaling the possibilities ahead then exhaling her increasing trepidation. Her life was one gargantuan Maybe.
No wonder Dipstick and Darling were going ape-shit hoisting their bodies toward the top of the slit windows. They needed to come up for air too. Unfortunately for them, Roxy had also read that a ton of fresh, direct air wasn’t good for dogs. So no matter how much she admired their tenacity, they were only getting a tease of the Tennessee summer morning breeze. Roxy couldn’t stand the thought of being responsible for hurting them or any animal.
Something else the driver in front of her obviously wasn’t aware of or the least bit conscientious about. His mangy mutt, although kind of cute in a disheveled take pity on me way, had free roam of the bed of his truck. Except for what looked to be tomatoes lined-up in well-used baskets, the man’s dog owned his space. Must be nice to have that kind of freedom. Scary. But nice.
“It’s okay, Babies,” Roxy attempted to soothe Dipstick and Darling. “Mommy’s right here. You love going to work with me. What’s wrong?”
In her rearview mirror, Roxy noticed Darling moving her snout in large circles followed by loud, disturbing smacks of her tongue against the roof of her mouth. And was that a bit of frothy drool bubbling around her muzzle? What the hell was going on?
Roxy stole another quick peek in the mirror then glanced back to the road in case Grandpa Jones slowed down again. Another paranoid look in the mirror revealed Darling was now anxiously pawing at the cashmere blanket covering the backseat as if trying to find a perfect spot to…
Like lightening punctuating the green screen of a budget-pinched movie set, Roxy mentally story-boarded the grotesque scene coming to fruition. She finally understood the red herring for what it was. “Oh no, Darling. Don’t do that to Mommy. We’re almost to the boutique. Please wait, Honey. Not in the car.”
Roxy pounded her fist against the steering wheel, silently cursing her luck. Her determination to live and succeed outside her once classy, now chick-gone-country, lifestyle seemed to kick her in the ass every choice she made.
Darling made a larger-than-life whimper then let loose a super smoothie-sized barrage of pre and partially-digested cheap dog treats — all over Roxy’s backseat.
Between the agonizing sounds of her poor sick Puggles and the stench, Roxy was thrown for a loop her stomach and nerves were at a loss to rectify. Before she could get her wits about her, Dipstick took his turn at bat and went nuts in the front seat. He paced the floorboard. Jumped back into the seat. Then pounced into Roxy’s lap and out again, his anxiety-heavy yips and yaps turning into awful half wails, half barks before dissolving into fits of desperately help-me-please, my-little sis-back-there-just-majorly-heaved growls.
Keeping one hand on the wheel, Roxy reached out to comfort him. Evidently, however, Darling needed her master’s touch too. Hanging her wet muzzle over Roxy’s arm, she whimpered then sneezed sending God only knew what else blowing out her nose.
Although abhorred by the unfolding drama, Roxy’s heart filled with pity for her ill puppy and wigged out partner-in-mischief. Composing her psyche for her latest challenge, Roxy searched the street ahead for a decent place to pull-over. Good thing she’d taken this alternate route to work. Not much traffic traveled this old road. And thank God today was no different regarding that now vital detail. It appeared she’d have a good spot just up the road a tad.
“There there, guys. It’s okay. Hang with me just a wee bit longer and we’ll get you cleaned up,” she coached the dogs, having no unearthly clue how exactly she was going to do that.
Never one for organization, she could only hope while God was hee-hawing about her predicament, he’d have the decency to pitch down a roll of paper towels or produce a magical box of tissue. She couldn’t have fallen that far from grace. Could she?
She may have gone against her parent’s orders, at the tender age of thirty-four, and moved eight hundred eighty-six miles away from their Manhattan penthouse. But she’d just wanted to make it on her own, instead of thriving embarrassingly well thanks to their over-charitable hand-outs.
Her current string of luck, however, was turning out to be way beyond bad-karma overkill. She couldn’t imagine what wrath would befall someone who’d actually done something
unreasonable and wrong.
Increasingly shallow pants and gross gurgles once again consumed Darling’s body and brought Roxy very much back to her less-than-stellar situation. She hit the panic button.
“Nooooooooooo…” Before the air even left her lungs carrying her message in a Hollywood-worthy cartoon voice-over, Darling was at it again.
Roxy grabbed the pashmina from the passenger seat and used it as a shield, making an impressively decent effort to keep the latest party foul from landing on her neck, shoulders, and vintage-inspired couture t-shirt. Needing an emergency exit and fast from the roadway, she punched the brakes. But instead of a Nascar-qualifying pit stop, the heel of her Blahnik caught between the floor mat and the accelerator, forcing her car square into the rear-end of Grandpa Jones’ truck. Riding out the impact in bumper car fashion, the two vehicles careened off the side of the road and came to an abrupt stop.