Sighing heavily, I text back a quick reply.
Hey, this afternoon would be great but I have something to do afterwards so I hope it will be ok with you if we only meet up for an hour or so?
Serena.
I make sure I don’t put a kiss at the end of my message but immediately start to rethink my hasty response to Kevin’s text. I really hope he won’t read anything into this and plan to make it clear when we meet that it is not a date or anything remotely similar to one.
The rest of my morning is spent tidying up my small apartment before I start to get ready for my coffee with Kevin. I decide on a light blue dress which is fairly casual and take half an hour fixing up my hair and make-up before I leave.
There’s a spring in my step as I leave and make my way into town, smiling for the first time in months. I know it sounds strange that something as messed up as Cole breaking into my apartment has uplifted me but the fact that he is close by… the fact he knows where I am is somehow comforting.
If I could only catch a glimpse of him, just for a few seconds… it would be incredible.
“Hi!” I exclaim excitedly, making my way over to Kevin by the window.
We arranged to meet at a small coffee shop in town which I come to quite often. I’m really glad we chose this place and take a seat while I decide what I want to drink.
“You seem cheerful.” Kevin observes, watching me in amusement.
“Do I?” I ask him, smiling happily.
“Yeah, you do. What’s happened? I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“Can’t a girl be happy because she’s just turned twenty-one?”
“She can but you really didn’t seem so excited about it yesterday.” He reminds me, watching me closely.
“I’ll be back in a second. I’m going to go and place my order.”
I jump up from my seat and head towards the counter, glancing back at Kevin as I wait for the barista to make my drink. He looks puzzled, probably wondering what on earth is going on. It’s as though I’m a completely different person and that’s because I feel like one.
Happiness is in reach. I can almost see it and this time I’m ready for it. There will be no more running away or trying to deny what can no longer be ignored.
When Cole decides he wants to make contact with me, I’ll be ready.
I spend a really nice afternoon with Kevin, getting to know the man I’ve pretty much ignored for the past six months. It turns out we have far more in common than I once thought and I can’t believe I treated him so badly when we first started working together. I certainly won’t make that mistake again and promise him we can continue to meet up outside of work as and when we both feel like it.
After coffee, we decided to do a bit of shopping and then ended up having lunch together at a quaint little restaurant which overlooks the river. It reminded me of the picturesque river where Cole and I walked on our final night together. Normally, this would consume me with an indescribable feeling of sadness but now that I know Cole has his freedom, now that I know he’s no longer in custody, I have become more content.
None of it makes much sense but I have come to realise that nothing ever will when it comes down to Cole or how I feel about him.
“I guess I’ll see you on Monday.” Kevin says, coming to a standstill outside my apartment.
He insisted on walking me back home and I thank him for being such a gentleman. He smiles at me and I start to panic, thinking he might try and take this as an opportunity to kiss me or say something he shouldn’t.
“Well, I’ll see you later.” I tell him, hurrying towards my front door. “Thank you for a really nice day.”
“You’re welcome.” He murmurs softly, waiting a few moments before he leaves.
I watch him walk away, feeling sorry for him when I start about how I might have given him the wrong kind of signals by spending the day together. I didn’t mean to lead him on and hope the little crush he has on me will disappear soon enough.
Glancing up and down the street, I spot something move. It was on the other side of the road so I didn’t get a good look at it but I know I caught something out of the corner of my eye. I don’t know what it was but it causes me to tremble. There’s no one else about and it’s starting to get dark, reminding me that someone entered my apartment the night before, someone who might not have even been Cole.
I begin to tremble, fighting against my fear as I will myself to go on inside. This is my home and no one has the right to make me feel afraid about being here.
I keep on telling myself that as I close the door behind me, taking a deep breath before going into my bedroom.
Everything happens so fast once I enter that room…
I’m thrown onto the bed as soon as I step foot through the door, pinned down and treated roughly as my attacked pins my arms behind my back with one hand. He uses his right hand to gag me, covering my mouth so no one can hear my screams.
“Don’t even think about making a single fucking noise, Serena.” He whispers darkly, pressing his entire body against my own.
Cole.
It’s really him.
He’s come back.
I start to sob uncontrollably, terrified and overjoyed at the exact same time. My conflicted emotions are overpowering and I long to turn around so I can look at him. I long to touch him and see his face, desperate to catch a glimpse of the man who has tormented my soul for three whole years.
“Please… let go of me.” I beg him, tears streaming down my face.
“You’re not going anywhere.” He growls, tightening the hold he now has on my wrists behind my back. “You’re not moving from this spot until I’m through with you.”
Oh my God… he’s really going to do it. He’s going to hurt me and this time I’m powerless to stop him.
“You can’t do this.” I whimper. “You would never hurt me.”
“Like you would never hurt me, right?” He challenges me disdainfully. “Except you did. You broke my fucking heart and now I’m here to break you.”
“By raping me?” I cry, burying my face into the soft quilt beneath me.
“By taking back what is mine… what’s always been mine from day fucking one and that’s you.”
I can feel his arousal pressed against me and I’m disgusted with myself for the instinctive reaction I have to it, arching my back so I can make contact with him through our clothing.
“Then do it.” I dare him, clenching my fists in fury. “Go ahead and do it if that’s what will make you feel better but you’re the one who will have to live with what he’s done.”
He freezes for a moment, stunned into silence. It’s as though he didn’t expect me to say anything like that and now he’s lost. He doesn’t know what to say and that frightens me even more.
“Shut the fuck up.” He orders, swiftly turning me around to face him. “Don’t open that Goddamn mouth until I say so, do you understand? The only time I want that pretty little mouth open is when I shove my cock in it.”
I gasp, quivering beneath him as I gaze up at his handsome face. He’s absolutely breath-taking and far more magnificent that I remembered him to be. His brown eyes are gleaming and his jaw is clenched, watching me gaze up at him in reverence.
His jawline is no longer clean shaven but has some slight stubble, highlighting his rugged features and raw masculinity even more. I watch him moisten his lips and continue to stare, unable to break away from this man or eye contact with him for a single second.
I half expect him to slap my hand away but he doesn’t, remaining silent and still. My fingertips stroke the length of his jawline, trembling from fear and euphoric exuberance at the same time.
He suddenly snaps out of his trance-like state and punches the mattress of the bed which his formidable fist.
“Who is he?” He demands, glowering at me with such contempt. “Who the hell is he?”
“Y-you mean Kevin?” I stammer, fearing what he’s about to do next.
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“Is that his name?” He asks, lowering his face towards mine.
“He’s just a work colleague, nothing more.”
“You expect me to believe that? I’ve been watching you, Serena. I’ve seen the two of you together and I know he’s got to be fucking you.”
“He’s not. I swear to God he isn’t.”
“I bet he wants to.” He snarls, grabbing a fistful of my hair. “I bet he’s dying to get his hands on you.”
“I’ve missed you.” I whisper, freeing one of my hands so I can touch him.
“You think that’s enough to stop me right now? You think that’s going to be enough to stop me from claiming what I own? Well, it’s not. Nothing you say or do is going to stop this. I’ve waited too damn long and now it’s my turn to make you suffer.”
“Oh, I’ve suffered.” I murmur. “I’ve been in torment for the past three years. You think anything you do to me tonight will really hurt me? Trust me, it won’t.”
“You don’t know what I have in store for you. I think you might change your mind if you knew what I have planned for you in here.” He taps the side of his head, referring to the monstrous thoughts inside his head.
“I’m not afraid of you.” I defy him boldly. “And I never have been… so do your worst.”
He grins at me in a salacious manner, lowering his mouth towards my own.
“I intend to.”
He licks the side of my face and breathes deeply, savouring the taste of my skin before he continues. His hands grab the bottom of my dress, roughly yanking it over my head before tossing it aside.
My matching bra and panties soon follow, leaving me completely exposed and naked before him. Feeling self-conscious, I long to cover myself from him but force my hands to stay by my sides. His lustful eyes wander up and down the entire length of my body, absorbing every contour of my new curves.
My body has somewhat changed shape from the one he was once used to, resembling more of an hourglass than it did before. My hips are wider but my breasts are just the same, pert and small like they were when I was seventeen.
His eyes ignite as his breathing increases, fighting against the overwhelming urge he is battling against to touch me.
“Have you been with someone else?” He asks gruffly, sounding detached and cold.
“Never.” I say, being completely honest. “I couldn’t.”
“Are you telling me the truth? Because I’ll know if you’re lying. I’ll know the second I put my dick in you if you’re being honest with me.”
“There’s only ever been you.” I say quietly, feeling despondent and hopeless.
I always wondered what it would be like to see Cole again. I’ve spent hundreds of sleepless nights, tossing and turning as I tried to imagine how it would be. I often considered the possibility that his time in prison might have changed him but it never really occurred to me that he would despise me like this. The venom in his heart is potent and I can feel it trying to claw its way inside me, determined to destroy everything which is pure and good.
“That’s the way it’s going to stay.” He groans, wrenching my legs apart.
He uses his thumb to massage my clitoris, using it to bring me pleasure by making a circular motion with the pad of his thumb. He refuses to tear his eyes away from my face, exploring the depths of my eyes as though he’s in search of something.
My eyelids start to feel heavy and I close them, allowing my body to experience the exquisite sensation for just a moment. I hear the sound of Cole unbuckling his belt and inhale sharply, fearing the next part of what he’s going to do to me. It’s been so long since I last had sex, I know it’s bound to hurt me again and I never dreamt that Cole would come back like this or that he was capable of truly hurting me for revenge.
I never thought my heart could break twice.
A single tear falls from my right eye and rolls down my cheek, disappearing before another one follows. I try to gain control over my silent tears but it’s no use and they continue to cascade out of the corners of my eyelids.
I hear a sharp intake of breath before the weight above me is removed. I peek out through my eyelashes to see Cole’s silhouette standing before me. He’s shirtless and I can see his muscular chest as it rises and falls with each laboured breath. His fists are still clenched as he stares down at me in horror, taking in my dishevelled appearance and tear stained face for the first time.
“Jesus Christ, what am I doing?” He asks, cradling his head in his hands. “What the hell am I thinking?”
I grab my dress and put it back on, covering myself from him so I can feel less exposed and vulnerable.
“I’ll go and get you a glass of water.” I mumble, stumbling out of the bedroom so I can catch my breath.
Once in the kitchen, I grab hold of the counter in front of me. I’m shaking and trembling so badly, I’m close to losing it completely. I realise I must keep it together for both of our sakes and focus on pouring him a drink to take my mind of the anxiety attack which is threatening to take hold of me.
I find Cole sitting on the edge of my bed when I step back into my bedroom. He’s put his shirt back on but still looks terrible. His face is drained and he looks exhausted, resembling the haunted and broken man I said goodbye to three years ago.
“Here you go.” I say, handing him the glass of water.
“Thanks but I don’t need it.” He says, taking it from me before he pours it on the cream coloured carpet beneath his feet.
His act was deliberate and it hurts me to know that he still wants to wound me like this.
“What happened?” I ask him. “I thought nothing was going to stop you from taking back what you consider to be yours.”
“You are mine!” He roars, jumping up from the bed.
He grabs hold of my shoulders and slams me against the wall behind me, lifting my dress so he can place his hand between my legs.
“W-what are you doing?” I whimper, struggling to free myself from his grasp.
“Feeling how wet you are for me and guess what? Your pussy is soaked.”
His voice is triumphant and so is his smirk, beaming at me with a victorious gleam in his eye.
“Just because my body might still respond to you, it doesn’t mean I want this.” I tell him, sounding disconnected and devoid of all emotion. “You can tell yourself that if it makes you feel better but it doesn’t mean it’s true.”
“Oh, you will want it.” He whispers, lifting me up so he can wrap my legs around his waist. “You’ll be begging me to take you in just a few seconds.”
I know he’s probably right but hearing him say it only strengthens my resolve to resist him and deny what is true in my heart. Running out of ideas, I decide on the one and only thing which might get through to him and know I have to at least try in the hopes that I can salvage what Cole is about to destroy.
“Do you remember that day you stopped Jonathan from hurting me?”
He freezes, meeting my gaze for the first time since I came back into the bedroom. It’s clear that we both remember that day so well, the day Cole followed me when I left school early and found me with Jonathan. He had followed me as well and was trying to drag me inside his car. God knows what might have happened if Cole hadn’t turned up to stop him.
“What are you doing? What made you say that to me?”
“Do you remember how scared I was? Do you remember how much you hated him for what he was about to do to me?”
“Yes.” He growls, simmering with anger right in front of me.
“Look at me, Cole.” I demand firmly, turning his face back towards mine. “Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t see the exact same fear that you saw that day. I’m still in love with you but if you do this… you will become a monster to me. You will transform into someone I need to be afraid of and I don’t want that to happen, do you?”
He says nothing, staring at me blankly. He waits a few more seconds before he gently places me back down onto my feet and
turns away, walking towards the window.
“I… I don’t know what I’m doing” He murmurs, taking in his surroundings. “I don’t know what I’m doing here or how I could come so close to hurting you.”
“Have you taken something?” I ask, closing the distance between us as I approach him with caution.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know… have you been dreaming or something?”
“I drink all the time now. It’s the only way I can sleep.” He answers, slumping against the wall behind him.
“Cole…”
“I might have taken something before I came here.”
“What was it?”
“I don’t even know.” He shrugs his shoulders, as though it’s no big deal. “I take anything I can get my hands on.”
“Why?” I enquire gently, desperate to reach out and touch him again.
“What do you mean why? I’s because of you. It’s always been about you.”
“You can’t blame me for this.”
“Can’t I?” He yells, grabbing my arms firmly. “Serena, these past few years I’ve been forced to exist in my own perpetual state of hell. I still can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t even function without you and you’re actually going to stand there and tell me this isn’t your fault?!”
“You don’t think it was the exact same way for me?” I shout back at him in frustration. “You think I’ve been happy these last three years? You really think I don’t cry myself to sleep every damn night because I’m still aching for you? You think I simply got over it and moved on?”
“Well, didn’t you?” He demands contemptuously.
“No!”
We’re inches apart but it might as well be thousands of miles. I always wondered if Cole would be able to find it in his heart to forgive me… at least now I have my answer.
“I shouldn’t have come here. I should have stayed away.” He whispers, lowering his head.
“Maybe you’re right.” I reply, holding back more tears.
“Perhaps I should go…”
That Summer (Part Two) Page 11