by Gail Sattler
Just the thought of bringing someone else took all the appeal out of going. “Well, if the barbecue is out, how would you like to get together another day so you can check up on how I’m doing on my obedience training?”
“I think next Saturday would be soon enough. That gives you a week to practice.”
“But that’s a week away!” He was hoping to see her again sooner than that.
She shrugged her shoulders, then dabbed her lips with her napkin. “Sorry, but I’m busy all week.”
“I guess next Saturday will have to do,” he grumbled.
Doreen tilted her head as she tried to analyze what was going on in his head, but dismissed it. I probably don’t want to know.
Even though he knew she was trying to keep her distance, Edwin refused to give up. He knew she liked him, deep down; otherwise, she would simply tell him to get lost. The fact that she hadn’t greatly encouraged him had not deterred him. Every time they got together, he enjoyed himself more, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, he knew she did too. He wished he could figure out her hesitation to begin dating him on a regular basis. He had to see her more than once a week. He simply had to figure out how.
When Edwin dropped Doreen off, Gretchen sat beside the front door, wagging her stumpy tail, patiently waiting for Doreen to call her before she came running to greet them. Before Doreen unlocked the house, she hugged Gretchen, then ran her hand down the dog’s back. Turning, she waved good-bye to Edwin, then stepped inside and closed the door behind her.
Edwin waved back as she disappeared. If he had a tail, he was sure it would be wagging when Doreen greeted him, too.
He was going to have to come up with some reason to see her before next Saturday, but what?
six
Edwin checked his tie in the rearview mirror. It was as straight as he knew it would be, no different from when he checked it at the last red light. Likewise, his hair was perfect, not a single strand out of place.
He drew a deep breath to steel himself. It wasn’t like he had never been to church before. In fact, he’d just been to church last. . .when was that now? Mother’s Day last year? Okay, so it had been a while. Who was counting? He’d been dragged off to church millions of times as a little kid. He didn’t have to be nervous. He knew all about God and stuff.
As he walked through the parking lot toward the main door among the other churchgoers, he tried to take note nonchalantly of how everyone else was dressed. This morning he had struggled with what to wear, and had gone the middle route, choosing his best black slacks, a sedatecolored shirt, and a black tie, and judging from everyone around him as they filed into the building, he had made a good choice. Some men were wearing suits, and there were some young men wearing jeans. No one seemed uncomfortable, so he decided he didn’t either. And he hoped God wouldn’t strike him down for lying to himself.
At the door, an older man in a suit stopped Edwin to shake his hand and exchange a few words of welcome as he presented Edwin with a bulletin and a few other assorted papers. Edwin had no desire to stop and chat. Strains of music softly echoed from the sanctuary, drawing him like a magnet.
He had expected somber organ music and old-fashioned hymns, but the music he heard as he stepped into the sanctuary could have been a selection from an easy-listening station. Up at the front, on a slightly elevated platform stage, a young man with his hair tied back in a ponytail strummed a bright-red electric guitar. Behind him was a casually dressed man playing the drums. A balding man in a suit and tie was plunking a bass guitar, and behind a large, glossy black grand piano sat Doreen. Together, they played beautiful music.
Edwin was intrigued by the contemporary decor of the sanctuary. The place was crowded with people either standing in the aisles or sitting in the rows of padded chairs. People mingled everywhere, happily chatting in small groups.
Edwin picked an empty seat in the aisle nearest the piano, and sat back to listen. This was church music? Now he knew why Doreen needed to practice every week. There was more to this music than simply following the notes in a songbook.
At the stroke of ten, a man stepped up to a microphone at the front, welcomed everyone, and encouraged those still standing to find a seat. As soon as everyone was sitting, however, he asked the congregation to stand. The band started on cue with a loud, rousing praise song; everyone joined in, most of them clapping their hands. The words were projected onto a screen suspended from the ceiling.
Edwin tried to follow along, but mostly he was moved by the evident energy in the crowd. This was like nothing he had ever experienced before. The words were inspiring, the music was uplifting, and the atmosphere in the church was joyful, as everyone praised God in unison.
After a number of upbeat selections, the music quieted to a background level, and the worship leader instructed the congregation to bow their heads while he led a short prayer.
Closing his eyes, Edwin said a prayer of his own, asking God what was going on, and why he was trembling. When the leader had finished his prayer, he told everyone to greet those around them. The music continued to play gently in the background. Doreen sat with her eyes still closed and her head bobbed rhythmically as she played the piano.
Edwin didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know a soul around him, and he suddenly felt shy, which was unusual for him. When a hand lightly touched his shoulder, he tried not to flinch. He turned to see a nicely dressed couple about his age smiling at him from the row behind him.
“Hi,” the man said, extending his hand. “I’m Richard, and this is my wife Evelyn.”
Edwin accepted Richard’s handshake and smiled nervously. “Hi, my name is Edwin.”
“First time here?” Richard asked. Evelyn smiled warmly at him.
Edwin nodded. He wondered exactly how out of place he looked, and how many could tell he didn’t belong here.
“Thought so, you looked nervous.” Richard’s smile widened. “Don’t be. Everyone is very friendly and open here, and at one time or another we’ve all felt what you’re feeling. But we want you to feel welcome.”
Edwin couldn’t think of a thing to say. This was certainly different from his mother’s old-fashioned church.
“Care to join us for lunch later? A lot of us meet at the local pancake house for brunch after the service, and you’re welcome to come and meet everyone.”
“Uh, actually I’m here with the piano player, she just doesn’t know it yet.” Edwin’s eyes wandered over to Doreen, who diligently worked the keyboard.
Richard and Evelyn’s eyes met for a brief second, glanced toward Doreen, then back to Edwin. Evelyn chuckled. “Doreen McCullough? Oh, we know Doreen. She doesn’t know you’re here?”
Edwin grinned. He didn’t even know he was coming until this morning. He wondered what Doreen’s reaction would be when she finally saw him. “No. It’s a surprise.”
The music rose in volume, and the man at the front led another rousing chorus, causing the whole building to ring out in song.
Edwin satisfied himself with reading the words as the melody played, contemplating the meaning as each song progressed. By the time the music drew to a finish, he was surprised to discover a lump in his throat. The moving words made him think in ways he never had before, delving deep into his soul to discover he didn’t know God as much as he thought he did. It left him feeling strangely empty, and he didn’t know what to do about it.
After the music stopped, Edwin continue to stare at the screen, reading the words one more time before the projector shut off. Lost in thought, he almost missed Doreen as the musicians vacated the front platform to allow the pastor to speak. Blinking rapidly a few times to clear his eyes as well as his head, he waved and called out to her in a low voice as she passed.
“Edwin?” she whispered. A look of semi-shock crossed her face, followed by a wide ear-to-ear smile. “Hi!” she whispered as she slid in beside him. “Good to see you here! I’ve been thinking about you, and now I know why.”
As t
he pastor started his message, Edwin sat in stunned silence. During the short car ride to the church, he had envisioned plans to hold Doreen’s hand and whisper playful secrets to her during the service. Instead, he found his attention glued to the words of the sermon as he sat somberly, listening with undivided attention.
The words gripped him. The pastor’s topic was commitments. Commitment to your friends, commitment to your loved ones, commitment to yourself and your goals, commitment to God, and above all, God’s commitment to His children. The pastor pointed around the congregation to emphasize his point, and at one point appeared to be pointing right at Edwin. He shrank back in his seat.
When the sermon was done, the pastor called to the front anyone who wanted to commit their lives to Christ, or anyone who wanted prayer. Edwin struggled with conflicting impulses, but he stayed glued to his chair. He wished he could grab Doreen’s hand, which had been His plan all along, but she had gone back to the platform to play the piano while the pastor offered the invitation.
Everyone bowed their heads as the pastor closed the service in prayer. Edwin stared at the floor and tried to sort out his thoughts. When the time came to leave, he remained seated.
When Doreen finally made her way back to him, he said, “I went to church all the time as a kid, Doreen. Why is this so different?”
Doreen placed her hand lightly on his shoulder and squeezed. As far as Edwin was concerned she might as well have been squeezing his heart. He clenched his teeth. She patted his shoulder softly as she spoke. “Because today it’s personal, Edwin. Today it’s just between you and God.”
A million thoughts zinged through his head, trying to connect everything that had happened to him in the past hour and a half. Rather than look like an idiot sitting there as everyone else filed out, Edwin rose to his feet and left the sanctuary with Doreen.
“Every Sunday after the service, a bunch of us go out for lunch to the local pancake restaurant. Do you want to go so I can introduce you around, or should we go somewhere else?”
To her own surprise, Doreen actually anticipated the opportunity to introduce Edwin to her friends. She held her breath, awaiting his reply.
The color returned to his face and he nodded, smiling more like the Edwin she was getting to know. “Sure, let’s join them. I met a real nice couple at the start of the service, and they mentioned the same thing. Richard and Evelyn. I guess you know them.”
“Oh? You met Richard and Evelyn? They’re really nice. She’s pregnant.”
Edwin’s eyes twinkled and one eyebrow quirked. Doreen gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. Whatever possessed her to say such a thing? And to him, of all people.
“They look like they’ll make good parents.” He looked around at the nearly empty lot. “What do you want to do, take one vehicle or two? How crowded does this restaurant get?”
“Pretty crowded. It probably would be easier to take one car. If you don’t mind you can drop me off back here later, although sometimes I just like to kill time. I’ve got to be back at six for the evening service.”
“You can come to my place, then, while you wait.” In the absence of a reply, he continued. “Now let’s join your friends for lunch. Point the way.”
❧
Name tags definitely would have been an asset. It seemed Doreen’s church friends had a whole section of the restaurant reserved on an ongoing basis. Doreen introduced him to so many people that the only ones he could remember were Bill, the owner of the pet store, his wife Edna, the couple he had already met, and a few select others. The crowd ranged from a lady who was ninety-five if she was a day, to a small baby who was, thankfully, fast asleep.
He almost regretted when it was time to leave, but even though he thoroughly enjoyed visiting, he decided to be selfish and take Doreen home to have her all to himself.
When he drove past the church on the way to his house, Doreen opened her mouth as if to protest, but he shook his head and winked, and didn’t stop talking. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders once, but didn’t interrupt the conversation or change the subject. Edwin considered that a point in his favor.
❧
After they reached Edwin’s house and had survived Dozer’s usual front door ruckus, Doreen settled onto the living room couch while Edwin sorted through his CD collection for something appropriate.
He could tell by her expression that she wanted to ask him something, but if it was a question about why he had gone to church, he wasn’t prepared to answer. To be honest, he had only gone to try to startle and impress Doreen. The uplifting time of singing and the pastor’s sermon had completely rearranged his perspective. He still had to sort it out in his own mind before he would be ready to talk about it. He’d never thought about being selected personally by God himself, or that God would care on a daily basis what he said and did.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car alarm screaming in the street. Dozer went berserk. Bounding over the ottoman, he raced toward the front door. When his paws touched the linoleum floor, he proceeded to slide, all four legs clambering for some form of traction, and failing that, he landed with a crash against the door. He jumped up and down and barked wildly until the alarm was silenced. When satisfied that whatever was out there was gone, he slowly returned to the living room to sit in front of Edwin.
“Stupid dog.” His fingers rounded the dog’s snout and gave it a playful squeeze. “So you’re going to church again tonight?” he asked Doreen, leaning back as he sank into the soft couch. With a thump he rested his feet on the coffee table and pulled his tie loose, letting it hang in a wide circle around his neck. “You play three times every Sunday?”
Casually, Dozer jumped on the couch to lay down beside Edwin, and Edwin absently reached over to scratch him. Dozer’s eyes closed, and the dog started to drift off to sleep beneath his master’s touch.
Doreen watched the lazy scene before her. This was the same dog that only minutes ago had crashed into the front door? Edwin not only allowed, but encouraged his dog to jump up on the furniture? She knew from the telltale dog hair at her own house that Gretchen made a habit of sitting on the couch, but only when Doreen wasn’t around to watch.
“Yes, I play for all three services every Sunday. At the moment, we don’t have another piano player.” Doreen thought back to her first sight of Edwin at church, and compared him to the carefree man before her now, idly scratching his dog.
Up until today, she couldn’t take Edwin seriously, but this morning another side of him became visible. She had half expected him to fool around during the service, making jokes and talking, but he had surprised her. Not only did he sit still, but he had paid rapt attention, listening intently to every word that was said. Even though he hadn’t talked about it, she knew something had changed, and she hoped it was God moving in his heart. Through experience, and despite her curiosity, she forced herself to wait until he was ready to talk about it. She only hoped she would be able to answer any questions he would have, when and if they came. She didn’t remember exactly when she had started praying for him, but now she determined that her prayers would be more diligent.
The dog started to snore. Edwin kept scratching him. “So what does Gretchen do while you’re gone all day? That must mean that you leave at what, eight-thirty in the morning, and you don’t get back until nine at night? That’s a long lonely day for a dog.”
Doreen shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sure she misses me, but she has her doggie door, and she keeps busy chasing birds and squirrels on my property.”
Edwin smiled as he examined his spoiled, sleeping city dog, continuing to pat him. “I guess your neighbors are far enough away, then.”
Doreen didn’t understand what he meant. “Far away? From what?” she asked.
“The noise,” he replied. “Oh, let me guess,” the tone of his voice changed to include a hint of disgust. “Your perfect dog never barks or howls.”
“Of course my dog barks. All dogs bark, just some
more than others. But she certainly doesn’t howl.” Her gaze drifted from Edwin to Dozer. “Let me guess. From the sound of your statement, Dozer howls.”
“I was told it was common for schnauzers to howl. Mine does. I’m sure yours does too.”
“She most certainly does not.”
“You don’t know that for sure. If it weren’t for my neighbor, I would never have known.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“My neighbor from across the street told me that sometimes Dozer howls for hours. I didn’t believe her, so one day I left and parked the car a few blocks away and walked back. I thought I heard something, but he stopped when he heard me coming.”
“He howls for hours?”
He stopped touching Dozer, leaned back into the couch, and crossed his arms over his chest. “Maybe Gretchen howls, but you’ve never heard her. Dozer only howls when I leave. Old Mrs. Primline is convinced that he’s in terrible pain, but I asked the vet, and he said it’s quite common for schnauzers to howl. My neighbor seems more worried than annoyed, which is a good thing, because there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Dozer snorted in his sleep, then slowly rolled onto his back with all four legs sticking in the air. When Edwin began to rub his stomach, Dozer’s head lolled to the side, tilting over the edge of the couch. Edwin appeared unconcerned.
He stood, leaving his dog upside down on the couch. “If we have to be back at the church soon, we should probably think about what we’re going to do for supper.”
Doreen closed one eye as she watched him disappear around the corner into the kitchen. We? Admittedly she was at his mercy for transportation, having left her van in the parking lot at the church, but she had not considered a dinner invitation to be forthcoming.
The refrigerator door closed, and Edwin returned. “After that huge late lunch, I’m not hungry, but we’ll probably be starving right in the middle of the thing tonight. I can make us a sandwich or fry up a couple eggs if you want. Unless you want to grab a quick burger on our way.”