by Gail Sattler
❧
Impatiently counting the rings, Doreen waited for Edwin to answer his phone. It was past seven, and she wondered where he was, and why his new answering machine wasn’t on.
She was about to hang up, when he finally answered, panting. No sooner had she asked whether he was coming over, but he cut her off, saying he would be right there.
He arrived in half an hour flat.
She waited in the doorway as he called Dozer to heel and led him into the house. “Before the obedience lesson, we have to talk.”
Doreen stood to the side as he kicked off his shoes, almost walked away, then turned to straighten them and place them neatly against the wall. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think I made you miss out on a treat,” Doreen said, watching him.
“Oh?” He sauntered to her couch and flopped down onto it.
“Yes, Mrs. Primline told me her friend Annabelle made you some cookies. She said they were your favorite.”
“You mean I missed them? She makes the best cookies I’ve ever tasted.” He made a big circle using both hands, joining both index fingers and both thumbs. “They’re loaded with chocolate and pecans and they’re this big!” He closed his eyes and sighed.
“I guess the ladies will eat them for you. She said something about bridge night.” Doreen giggled.
“We gotta go.” Edwin jumped to his feet and started to put his shoes back on.
“Edwin?”
He reached over and grabbed Doreen by the wrist. “Quick! Maybe there’s some left!”
“What are you doing?” she protested to no avail.
“We can do the obedience lesson at my house, and we can talk in the car as well as we can in your living room, with the exception that, at my house, the best cookies in the world are waiting.”
“Now, wait,” she complained, trying to pull back. “She said they were for you.”
“They always give me six, but the little henhouse group has been watching you, and I’ll bet they’ve brought extra this time.” He pulled on her arm. “Come on, Doreen, time’s a wasting.”
“Wait! I don’t have my shoes on!”
Edwin let her go, barely giving her enough time to slip on her sneakers. She locked both dogs in the house, then ran to the car with her shoes untied. She barely had her seatbelt fastened before he took off in a puff of dust and sped down the gravel driveway.
“You said you wanted to talk. So talk.” Edwin kept his eyes on the road, but appeared jubilant at his victory in getting her out of the house.
“You realize that Mrs. Primline approached me.”
“Of course, or you wouldn’t have known about the cookies.”
“Your dog’s howling should embarrass you, you know.”
“Aw, come on, Doreen, he’s not that bad.”
Doreen pulled the tape out of her purse, popped it into Edwin’s tape deck, and hit the play button. Mournful howling filled the car, the low tones rising in a despondent crescendo, enriched fully by Edwin’s stereo system.
“What in the world is that awful noise!” Edwin ex-claimed as he shifted gears around the bend in the road. “Turn it off! There’s something wrong with my stereo!”
“That’s your dog.”
“No way.”
“I’m afraid so. Mrs. Primline gave me this tape today.”
“No wonder she accuses me of torturing him. What am I going to do?”
“And that’s not all. I’m afraid I’ve made him worse, because now he not only howls for an hour after you leave, he howls for another hour after I leave.”
“Great.”
Mrs. Primline’s second sample boomed from the speaker. Dozer’s low rumble rose to a sorrowful pitch, peaking as he sustained the high note at the end of his lamenting aria. The tweeters in the speakers rattled.
“We’ll have to make sure he isn’t left alone.”
We? How did I get involved? “Bright idea,” Doreen replied sarcastically. “Now how would we go about such a thing?”
He lowered his voice. “We can’t leave him alone, so we’ll have to get married.”
Doreen glowered in silence. Leave it to Edwin to be cavalier about marriage. Marriage was a serious commitment made before God and man, till death do you part. Last week she’d been foolish enough to think she might be falling in love with Edwin, but he obviously didn’t take anything seriously. To be so frivolous with the topic of marriage was not funny. She was insulted.
“How dare you!” She smacked him on the arm. With both hands on the wheel, he was unable to defend himself.
“Hey! Cut it out!” He leaned away but couldn’t avoid a second swat. “I was only joking!”
“That’s the problem, and I don’t think you’re very funny.”
“Chill out!”
Doreen pushed herself into the back of her seat, fuming. She crossed her arms and stared out the window. Why was she so angry? Lots of couples joked about getting married, didn’t they? But she and Edwin were not a couple. What were they? She couldn’t even look at him as she spoke. “How dare you suggest we get married because of a dog.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m suggesting we get married because you’re pregnant.”
“What!” she screamed, and then fell pointedly silent.
Edwin’s voice lowered to a mumbled whisper. “Why do I have the feeling I said the wrong thing?”
Doreen maintained her grim silence for the rest of the trip.
“Would it help if I said I was sorry?” Edwin asked as he pulled into his driveway.
Doreen gritted her teeth. All her life, she’d been taught to forgive, but she’d never felt less like doing so. “Never mind. I’m probably overreacting.”
“I’m sorry,” he said plainly and simply.
They were no sooner out of the car when a swarm of elderly ladies descended upon them.
Doreen painted a smile on her face, forcing herself to be sociable as Mrs. Primline introduced her as Eddie’s new lady friend. She would have preferred to be called the dog lady. The ladies ushered them across the street into Mrs. Primline’s house, and presented them with a huge plate of giant-sized, mouthwatering cookies.
Doreen politely accepted one cookie. When she bit into it, she knew why Edwin had dragged her on the long drive. They were worth every mile. By the time she started on her second cookie, Edwin had nearly finished his third.
While they ate, the ladies surrounded them with animated discussion. Doreen cringed when Annabelle started showing off photographs of her new baby granddaughter. Annabelle glanced at Edwin and Doreen with one eye narrowed and smiled.
Fortunately, Mrs. Primline chose that moment to drag them into the backyard to see her prize rosebush. As Mrs. Primline was beginning to explain at length her new method of controlling aphids, the phone rang. She excused herself, leaving Edwin and Doreen alone in the twilight.
As the two stood in awkward silence, Edwin’s arm brushed Doreen’s, and his hand closed over her shoulder as he turned her to face him. “I think we just had our first fight. Still mad at me?”
After watching his gracious behavior with the “henhouse group,” as he called them, Doreen noticed how he charmed them all. She had to admit that he had charmed her as well. She smiled and shook her head.
“Good. Then this is where we kiss and make up.”
Without waiting for a response, he tilted her chin so that she stared up into his eyes. Backlit by the faint glow of the moon and the distant glimmer of the street lamp, his eyes shimmered. The earthy fragrance of the roses created an aura of romance. She couldn’t pull away. Slowly, Edwin’s head lowered until his lips were almost touching hers.
“This is the best part about fighting.” When he spoke, she could feel the movement against her lips. Not giving her a chance to protest, his mouth covered hers.
He kissed her gently and tenderly, then more passionately as he pulled her body against his. All she could do was drape her arms behind his neck and kiss him back. Warm and solid,
he clung almost desperately to her. She really had no intention of running away.
At the sound of a loud burst of laughter from inside the house, Edwin broke away, struggling for breath. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done, and right there in Mrs. Primline’s rose garden.
Under other circumstances, it might have been romantic, but tonight, it was plain foolishness. What if one of the old ladies had seen them? Doreen would have died of embarrassment, destroying any chances of moving forward with their relationship.
Slowly, he ran his fingers against the softness of her cheek. With both hands, he cupped her face, brushing his thumbs against her temples. Her eyes fluttered open, glittering in the near darkness. She was beautiful, radiant.
“Let’s get outta here,” he mumbled with a voice so low and husky he barely recognized it as his own.
They never made it back to Edwin’s house. By the time they were able to politely but firmly disentangle themselves from the grandmothers, it was nearly Doreen’s bedtime, so Edwin drove her home.
Although conversation was stilted at first, things quickly livened up as they discussed various options and methods to soothe Dozer. They decided that Edwin should leave the radio on whenever he had to leave, so that Dozer would hear voices.
The trip ended too soon. While she fumbled with the key in the lock, he had to touch her. He rested his fingertips, and then his palm on her shoulder. Before she could turn the key, his other hand found its way to her waist. She pushed the door open, and both dogs bounded out, running in circles around their legs.
As the dogs swirled around them, Edwin pulled Doreen next to him so her back nestled against his stomach. She felt good. Too good. When she turned her head to the side and tipped her chin to look up at him, he couldn’t stand it any longer. If he kissed her now he wouldn’t be able to stop. Instead, he tilted his head and kissed the delicate wisps at the edge of her forehead, the closest he could come without losing control of himself.
“Good night, Doreen,” he whispered, and turned and walked to his car, with Dozer following faithfully behind.
❧
For the first time since she began her business, Doreen regretted her decision to have her van painted to look like a moving billboard. She now wished that instead of the huge lumbering, brightly painted vehicle, she drove a Honda. Or a Mini. Anything small. And dingy neutral gray.
For the past week, Edwin had left his radio on during the day, but Mrs. Primline had informed him that their plan wasn’t working. Dozer continued to howl to his heart’s content.
At a loss for any better suggestions, Doreen didn’t want to face anyone. Running to the front door, she hastily let herself in, hoping to be in and out faster than Mrs. Primline could make it across the street.
As she grabbed Dozer’s collar to snap on the leash, Doreen froze. She could hear Edwin singing in the living room. She found it odd that he hadn’t met her at the door, since Dozer put on his usual, dignified performance. Edwin should have known she had arrived.
“Edwin?” she called from the entryway, then listened for his response. He continued singing, ignoring her. A bit off-key, but on the whole, he had a very pleasant voice. “Edwin, can you hear me?” she called, a little louder.
Obviously not. He kept singing. Why wasn’t he at work? Doreen closed the door behind her and followed his voice into the living room. Edwin was nowhere to be seen. Instead, his voice was emanating from a car tape deck haphazardly attached by a tangle of wires to the back of the main stereo system.
Upon closer examination, she discovered it was an auto-reverse deck that Edwin had rigged to play continuously until someone hit the stop button.
She smiled at his ingenuity. Edwin had taped himself singing to his favorite songs and left it on for his dog to hear his beloved master’s voice all day.
Instead of dreading being cornered by Mrs. Primline, Doreen now anticipated hearing if Edwin’s plan worked. However, Mrs. Primline did not appear as she loaded Dozer into his kennel, and Doreen continued on her travels to pick up the rest of the dogs.
On the return trip, Mrs. Primline showed up with good news. She had not heard Dozer howl when Edwin left in the morning, and now the final test would tell if he howled when Doreen left. Mrs. Primline promised to tell Edwin the results as soon as he got home from work that evening.
❧
Edwin dragged his feet as he made his way inside. After a long day at work, he was tired and hungry and depressed. He had spent most of the day thinking about Doreen instead of concentrating on his job. Sure, he’d kissed her a few times, and she appeared to enjoy his company, and he didn’t know where he would be in his spiritual journey if it wasn’t for her, but overall, he didn’t feel he was making any progress on a personal level. He wondered what he was doing wrong.
If it were any other woman, he knew a few ploys his single friends used when trying to snare a woman, but he wouldn’t resort to tricks. Doreen was special, and she wasn’t likely to fall for any phony moves. Besides, he wasn’t going to pretend to be someone he was not. He loved her for her openness and honesty, and he wanted her to love him and want him the way he was.
Love? Since they had started seeing more of each other, Edwin found himself wondering what it would be like to come home to a person every day, instead of his dumb dog.
Not just any person. A woman. One woman. He wanted to come home to Doreen and a handful of kids.
Edwin shook his head. Love? Kids? Was he nuts? Getting old? He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. His friends would probably drag him somewhere for a psychiatric evaluation. They already thought he was deranged for going religious on them.
What could he do? He had tried charming her, he tried befriending her, he tried to impress her, he tried to humor her, he even trained his dog for her.
Edwin froze in mid-stretch. The only thing he hadn’t done was pray for her. He’d done a fair amount of thanking God for putting her in his path, but he hadn’t actually outright prayed for guidance to pursue the relationship. He parked himself on the couch. It seemed like a good place to start. He didn’t want to wait until bedtime. And where was it written that you could only pray before you fell asleep, or in church? He seemed to remember Doreen discussing that with him on a number of occasions. It seemed Doreen was right again.
He lowered his face into his hands, and he prayed. He prayed for guidance. He prayed for wisdom. He prayed for direction and insight. He prayed they would get to know each other better. What else could he do?
At his mumbled “amen,” it came to him. Doreen had once made a comment about getting to know people by talking to friends and family. She appeared to be good friends with the older man at the pet store, Bill. He could simply strike up a conversation, and then casually ask about Doreen. She said he had known her since she was a kid, so maybe Bill could give him a few pointers and suggestions.
He checked his watch. This looked like a good time to practice heeling Dozer on the leash, and the round-trip to the pet store seemed like an ideal distance. He called Dozer, and hummed to himself the whole way to Pet Stuff.
He found the store deserted except for Bill. It was almost closing time, exactly like the day he met Doreen.
Tying Dozer securely to the bike rack, Edwin told him to stay, hoping for more permanent results than the last time.
Taking a deep breath to give himself a measure of courage, he entered the store. He tossed a handful of dog treats into a bag and sauntered casually to the counter, where Bill lazily paged through a supply catalog.
“Hi, Bill, how’s it going?” he said cheerfully as he plunked the bag on the counter.
Bill looked at his face, then over his shoulder to the door. “Leave your dog outside?”
Edwin refused to take offense. The last time he was in here was probably the most embarrassing day of his life. “Yes, but this time he’s fastened with one of your top- quality collars.”
Bill mumbled something, then faced him. “Doreen with you?”
he asked, again peering behind Edwin.
Edwin pulled at the collar of his shirt, which had suddenly gotten tighter. “Uh, no, I don’t know where she is right now. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering, Edwin, just wondering. She seems to be spending quite a bit of time with you lately, that’s all.” Bill gently balanced the bag on the scale, taking his sweet time, which was fine with Edwin.
“Tell me, Bill, you’ve known Doreen for a long time, haven’t you?” Edwin pretended to be interested in a display of pet tags at the side of the counter, touching a few and turning them over to see both sides.
“Yup, since she was a little girl. Edna and I were good friends of her uncle before he died, and of course we’ve attended the same church for a couple of years.”
“Ah,” Edwin mumbled, trying to look interested as he examined a bone-shaped tag. “That’s the uncle that left her the house and property out in the boonies, right?”
“Yup. Douglas McCullough. A good man.”
Edwin had hoped Bill would be a little more talkative. “Does she ever see her cousins? Didn’t anyone else want that private forest in the middle of nowhere?”
“Nope. No cousins. No brothers or sisters. No one but Doreen. He knew she’d put it to good use.”
Edwin picked up another tag from the display, making it look like he couldn’t decide on the color. “So, um, she’s doing pretty good with her business, isn’t she?”
Bill slowly punched a code into the scale, closed one eye, hit the clear button, then slowly and methodically checked the code list on the wall with one finger. “Sure is. I knew she could do it. Told her so, all the time.”
Maybe Bill wasn’t going to be as helpful as Edwin hoped for. “Good dog she’s got. Good with the dogs, isn’t she?”
“Gretchen’s a good dog, well trained.” Finding a number, Bill punched it in slowly, studied it, then hit the clear button again.
Edwin restrained himself from picking up the dog tags and throwing them across the room. He smiled at Bill, transferring his attention to a box of rawhide chews. “We’ve been working on Dozer, and she’s done wonders with him.”