Throughout the morning, I kept glancing at my iPhone, expecting a text message from Luke. After all, we exchanged phone numbers days ago, but here it was midafternoon on Sunday and I hadn't heard from him yet. I was trying not to pay too much attention, I was busy doing homework anyway, but it got me thinking. Had our date just been a one-time thing? After he had gotten his sex, was he done with me?
A knock on the door interrupted me from my musings. "Come in," I invited. Sitting at my small desk, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Selena standing in the doorway.
"You busy?"
I shrugged. "Just doing homework. What are you up to?"
"Nothing much," she stated, entering the room and sitting on the edge of my bed. "You okay?"
I frowned. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, you've been moping in your room most of the day-"
"I'm not moping," I protested. "I'm doing my homework. What makes you think I'm moping-"
"Believe me, Jessica, I know what it's like to go out with a guy and then wait on pins and needles for him to call."
Was I that transparent? "Who says I'm on pins and needles?"
"Well, the few times that I have seen you today, you've held that cell phone in your hand as if it's your lifeline," she commented.
I shrugged. "Well, I'm just having a few doubts," I admitted. "Maybe he didn't find our evening as stimulating, in more ways than one, as I did." I frowned. “Maybe he doesn’t like me anymore.”
"Nonsense!" Selena scoffed, waving her hand in dismissal. "He's just playing it cool. Of course he likes you! Who wouldn't?"
"I'm not so sure. He was certainly more experienced than me in the sex department, so maybe I-"
"Did he give you the cold shoulder after sex?"
"Well, not really-"
"Did he say anything?"
I felt the heat of a blush travel up my neck and into my cheeks. "He did imply that it was pretty good," I said. "Maybe I should play it cool, too, not make him think that I'm going to be pining after him or anything. That would just be the worst."
“When it comes to my experience with men, I have found that the one thing that scares them away more quickly than anything else is the sense that the girl is expecting some kind of a commitment just because they've had sex."
I shook my head. "I haven't implied anything of the sort, nor do I expect it," I said. "Then again, maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to let him literally have his way with me, not once, but twice!" I frowned at Selena. "Do you think I offered too much on the first date?"
"Jessica, that's impossible for me to say. I wasn't there. Based on what you told us last night, and believe me, your details were rather limited, the chemistry between you two was extremely hot. If the passion was flowing, and I mean in more ways than one, then you can hardly be blamed for getting caught up in the experience."
"I wonder," I said. "I have to admit that my experiences with guys are rather limited. In fact, almost everything I know has been based on the sex scenes in my books. The guys that I've slept with, and believe me, I can count them on the fingers of one hand, have been rather lackluster and lacking in any indication of skill."
She laughed gently. "You don't have to be an expert in sex to get a sense that your partner is good at it," she said. "I remember my first time wasn't anything earth shattering, either. In fact, I think I went through several boyfriends until I manage to latch onto one who actually knew how to please me and didn't just expect a quickie for himself."
I shook my head. "Why are guys so selfish? Most of them want to get in your pants so bad that they seem to forget that there's actually a person attached to them!"
"Just take it one day at a time, Jessica," Selena suggested, getting up from the bed. "Actually, I came up to see if you wanted to go out and grab a bite of pizza with me. The others are off with their boyfriends, and here I am, alone on a Sunday afternoon with nothing to do."
I shook my head. "I'll take a rain check, if you don't mind. Sorry. I've got some homework to get done, and to be quite honest, I probably wouldn't be the best company anyway."
She smiled as she headed for the door. "Your loss!"
I watched as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Maybe she was right. Luke was just playing it cool. Of course he liked me! How couldn't he? He had generally seemed to be having a nice time, so maybe I was just succumbing to my lack of self-confidence when it came to guys. Then again, why should I be the one to wait on pins and needles for him? He was the one that had to live up to my standards, not the other way around. Still, it did make me wonder.
*
By Monday morning when I walked into advanced chemistry class, I was sure that I would see Luke. I had already determined I would definitely play it cool. I hadn't heard from him since Saturday night, and despite my comments to Selena and my attempt to convince myself that I didn't care, I did find it a little disconcerting that I hadn't even received the briefest of texts from him since Saturday night. While I certainly didn't expect him to fawn all over me or to do anything special, a text message wasn't too much to ask, was it?
I arrived in class a little early, but by the time everyone filed in and the professor began his lecture, I frowned in consternation. He hadn't shown up. What the hell was going on? Was he avoiding me? Was he sick? That was doubtful. I didn't know any of his friends, and none of my friends knew him, either, so it wasn't as if I could surreptitiously find out what he was up to. I refused to text him first because that implied that I was desperate, and I was certainly no such thing. I wasn't going to turn into a desperate, clingy, insecure woman. Not with Luke, and not with anyone else.
Nevertheless, I found it increasingly difficult to concentrate not only an advanced chemistry, but throughout the day as I continued to receive nothing but silence. As the day wore on, I began to get increasingly irritated. Finally, by the time my last class of the day ended, I began to have a definite feeling that I had been played. I wasn’t sure if my feelings were hurt or if I was pissed. I finally admitted I felt more than a little of both. It took everything I had not to succumb to self-pity.
Chapter 10
So Monday came and went without any text, phone call, blip, or even a suggestion that someone named Luke had ever existed in my life. Now I was truly getting pissed off. What the hell? Had I gone too far, too quickly with him? Come to think of it, did I need to be worried? I hadn't even thought about birth control, safe sex, or him not wearing a condom. Sure, he had pulled out before he had his orgasm, but I wasn’t naive. I could still have gotten pregnant if I wasn’t protected against pregnancy thanks to an IUD, but we hadn't even discussed safe sex or birth control. Our passion and chemistry had caused sparks, no doubt about it, and those sparks had ignited into hot, burning – no, scorching flames in a matter of seconds. Still, had I been used? Had I just been another body, another conquest for an obviously experienced man?
By Tuesday morning, I had attempted to convince myself that I didn't care, although I did. Nevertheless, my sense of self-preservation kicked in, as well as my injured pride. I told myself that I didn't care what Luke thought. I entered advanced chemistry, sat in my chair, and began to settle in, taking out my notes, glancing at the whiteboard, wondering if I could manage to stay focused while the professor began another one of his laborious lectures. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye just as class was about to start and my heart gave a traitorous leap of excitement when I saw Luke saunter in.
I started to smile, but he didn't look my way. There were several empty chairs in the vicinity around me, but he made no move to come sit near me. The smile froze on my face as he deliberately seemed to choose a chair at the opposite end of the room. Perhaps he didn't see me, I thought. He didn't seem to be talking to or even acknowledging anyone around him, so I didn't get the impression that he had chosen that seat because he wanted to talk to a friend. Actually, I got the impression that he deliberately tried to seat himself as far away from me as possible. But how could
that be? Why? I glanced over my shoulder toward the classroom door and realized that while I wasn't in the immediate line of sight, anyone pausing at the doorway could have scanned the classroom before entering and seen where I sat.
I managed to make it through the professor’s lecture relatively intact, but if Luke felt my eyes boring into his back, he gave no indication. I tried several times to capture his attention, but it was if he deliberately ignored me. I started growing more and more annoyed by his behavior. What game was he playing? I could understand playing it cool, but to the point of snubbing me? How dare he be so rude to me! By the time class was over, I decided that I was going to confront him. At the end of class, I joined the throng of students quickly exiting the classroom. Since I sat closer to the door than to the front of the room, I was able to step off to the side and wait until he emerged.
To my surprise, he glanced my way, stared at me for a moment, and then looked ahead, walking toward the quad. I frowned and walked after him. "Luke," I said, not too loudly and certainly not in any way that could be construed as desperate.
He paused slightly, but still refused to stop and look at me. I took another few quick steps until I was walking beside him. "Luke, are you okay?" To my surprise, he did pause this time, but the look he gave me when he glanced down at me was almost one of disdain. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
To my disbelief, he just grinned, shook his head, and continued walking. Had he seriously scoffed at me? Really? I stood staring after him for a moment, and then, growing increasingly infuriated, I followed. He still refused to acknowledge me, even when I walked up next to him. Keeping my emotions in check, I looked up and spoke to him. "What's your problem? Why are you being so rude?"
Again, he refused to respond. His expression was aloof, and I couldn't see any hint of emotion behind his eyes. He continued to walk, not acknowledging my presence, and I'd be damned if I was going to chase after him like a lovesick teenager. So, I slowed down and let him go, feeling like a fool, standing near the quad alone, a myriad of thoughts running through my mind.
I didn't know what kind of game he was playing, but I knew one thing – I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit. But two people could play that game. I struggled with feelings of hurt and fury. I had let him have his way with me, not once, but twice, and that didn't even count the groping I had allowed him at the Japanese restaurant. I couldn't figure it out. Why take me out to dinner, act like he was enjoying himself, even have sex with me, and then act as if I didn't exist? Could he really be so callous? Had the entire evening been carefully choreographed to result in sex? Why? He could have taken out any number of girls prettier and more experienced than me. I couldn't figure it out.
Could he have taken me out on a dare? A challenge by one or more of his friends at the frat house? I gasped in horror. I certainly hoped not. That would be intolerable, not to mention humiliating. Still, I hadn’t noticed anyone snickering at me yesterday morning, or this morning, either. I couldn’t figure it out.
Fighting back my sense of dismay and hurt feelings, I realized there was nothing I could do about it now. In fact, I didn't even want to do anything about it. Let him act that way. Okay, so you'd gotten sex from me, Luke, I thought. Big deal. If that's all there was to Luke Bradford, well then piss on him. Maybe sex had been all that he was after, but I had gotten something from it, too, so it wasn't as if it was a total loss. Still, I wasn't used to being treated like that and I didn't like it one bit. Shame on Luke Bradford. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I certainly wasn't going to let it happen again, that was for sure.
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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 Vanessa Stone
Fantasy Boyfriend (A Tattooed Bad Boy Romance) Page 6