He laughed. “Oh, I don’t know, I can remember when going to the dentist seemed pretty dramatic to me.”
“Exactly how long ago was that?”
“Long enough,” he admitted. “Tell you what, when this is all over, why don’t you throw in an initial dental exam as part of my fee?”
It was Mac’s turn to laugh as she tried to picture him in her office. There were cartoon posters on the walls and a fresh, endless supply of kiddie videos to distract her young patients. “I’ll do better than that. You help me find Heather and your teeth are going to be taken care of for life.”
Cade was about to tell her that he was kidding, but then let it go. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea at that, seeing her after this was over—with a good excuse handy if he wanted to use it.
“Got yourself a deal.”
Twisting in her seat, Mac looked out the back window. “Do you think we’re being followed?”
He was more than sure. He would have bet his life on it. “Look behind you.”
“That blue car?”
That would have been too obvious. They weren’t dealing with an amateur. But then, he wasn’t one anymore, either. “No, the beige one behind it. It’s been with us since we left.” He’d noticed it as one of the cars circling the lot when they went to their car. “I’m sure that Lambert and his lawyer friend take no chances.”
“What about the kidnapping? I’d think that kidnapping a child under the noses of everyone would be taking a damn big chance.”
His guess was that Heather’s kidnapping had been a plan that had gone awry at the last minute. “Calculated risk,” he pointed out. “There’s a difference.”
Cade glanced at the rearview mirror. The car was keeping up a steady pace. He changed lanes. A beat later, so did the man in the beige car.
Point proved, he thought.
“I’m going to have Sam’s wife look into it for us, but I’m sure that most of the adoptions coming out of the lawyer’s office are legal.” If not most, then half, he amended. “Maybe they were all legitimate once, but the demand for adoptable children is a high one. It probably proved to be too much of a temptation for Lambert and Taylor after a while. It’s hard to turn your back on a lucrative business.”
The idea that something involving children’s lives, and the lives of their families, could be thought of as a business chilled Mac’s heart at the same time that it infuriated her.
With effort, she tried to focus on what he was saying. “Sam’s wife?”
“Savannah Walters can probably hack into any system in the country if she put her mind to it.”
Mac wasn’t sure if that was a recommendation or not. But at this point, she realized that they needed all the help they could get.
“Professional thief?” she guessed.
Thief would have been the last word Cade would have ever thought of using to describe Savannah. If he had to use one, it would have been lady. It was written all over her.
“No, just a computer genius. Even better than Megan, which amazes me.” He took his hat off to anyone who knew their way around that mysterious world. “My expertise with the computer is confined to using a single form of word processing and occasionally surfing the Web for ten minutes at a time.” He grinned, glancing in her direction. “Some people might call me a dinosaur.”
“Not if they’ve ever kissed you,” Mac muttered under her breath as she turned her head away.
But he heard her. And he smiled.
Hanging up, Cade looked thoughtfully at the telephone he’d just used. He wasn’t staring at the phone, but at the chrome plate on the bottom. He could see the driver of the beige car following them, on foot, around the mall.
“It’s what I thought,” Cade whispered, slipping an arm around Mac. “Taylor has a P.I. he keeps on constant retainer. I’d say that we’ve become his new assignment.” He’d called Savannah with his suspicions, and given her the car’s license number, then hung on while she’d checked it out. She’d given him a quick description of the man, having pulled up a photograph from the licensing bureau. Pretending to nuzzle Mac, he continued talking. “Going by what Savannah told me, I’d say our man is that tall guy over there, the one sipping a cup of overpriced coffee.”
Mac stole a glance, trying not to be obvious. The man in question was sitting at a small table for one just outside Café Delight. He appeared engrossed in his newspaper, but she didn’t doubt Cade’s instincts for a second.
She couldn’t help smiling at his wording, though. “I take it you don’t care very much for those new kinds of coffee.”
Cade shrugged. “To me, there’re only two kinds. Good and bad.”
Her smile grew. “And a good cup of coffee would be—?”
“Hot. Black. Strong. Otherwise, what’s the point?” He’d been drinking his coffee that way ever since he was fourteen, he saw no reason to change now. If it wasn’t broken, there was no purpose in fixing something.
“Enjoyment,” Mac suggested. Being open to new things was what made life exciting.
“I enjoy hot and strong.”
Why was he looking at her when he said that? Cade suddenly wondered. And then he knew. It was because the two adjectives could be applied to her as easily as they could to the coffee.
Blocking his thoughts, he nodded toward the mall exit. “Let’s go.”
Mac was beginning to like the feel of his arm around her shoulders and to like the realization that they were walking in as close to a syncopated gait as she’d ever managed. Trying not to think about it only made her think about it that much more.
Keep your mind on your reason for being here, she told herself.
When she turned her head toward Cade to ask him a question, she found that their faces were much too close for comfort. And that their lips were closer than was healthy for her.
She thought of the man behind them. Were they succeeding in fooling him? Their act was certainly beginning to fool her. “So now that we’ve acquired this tail to our kite, what do we do?”
“Act naturally. Go through the paces of a loving couple yearning for a child.” They were passing a clothing store for toddlers. This was the kind of signpost the P.I. would be looking for. Cade purposely stopped. “Go window-shopping in hopes of having someone to wear things like that very soon.”
He looked at her and saw that there were tears sliding down her cheek. Stunned at the depth of her ability to take over a part, Cade fished a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her.
Pretending to comfort her, he whispered, “You don’t need to get that far into the role.”
“I’m not,” she sniffed after she’d collected herself. “I just bought that outfit for Heather as a Christmas gift. The day before...before...” Mac exhaled loudly, looking away. “I’m sorry, I don’t usually cry.”
The sight of her tears made him feel helpless. He hated feeling helpless. “For what it’s worth, you’ve probably impressed the P.I. with your sincerity. He’ll undoubtedly go back to his boss saying we’re the genuine article and that you want a baby so much you burst into tears at the very sight of a mannequin dressed in a little girl’s overalls.” He wanted to get out of here, to go someplace where she could relax and feel free to be herself. “C’mon, let me take you back to the condo.”
Lacing his fingers with hers, Cade walked out of the mall and toward the parking structure with her.
“I didn’t mean to break down like that before,” she finally said, looking at him.
“You don’t have to apologize.” Hearing the apology only made him feel uncomfortable for her. “I never had you pegged as a robot, anyway.”
“What did you have me pegged as?”
“A very strong woman.” Watching the traffic ahead, he spared her a glance and saw that his answer had pleased her. He’d expected as much. “But even strong women can take a break now and then. Be human. Otherwise they wind up breaking.”
“And you’d be an expert on the subject?” s
he asked, appearing grateful for the break in tension.
He knew it was a teasing question, but he answered it seriously. “In a way. My wife Elaine was a strong woman.” Cade didn’t realize that his jaw hardened just a little as he added, “Especially toward the end.”
“The end?” His profile was almost rigid. Was he talking about a divorce, or something more permanent? Mac bit her lip, knowing she shouldn’t have asked.
“She died of cancer.” Even now the words still shook Cade down to the core, despite his attempts to separate himself from the reality. “Found out in June, was gone six weeks to the day. The disease attacked her body with a vengeance—but not her spirit.”
Mac could hear his pain, though he tried to disguise it. It made her feel like an intruder, but a tiny part of her was glad that he had shared this with her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
He shrugged away her apology. Cade scanned the road. He vaguely remembered there being a supermarket somewhere in the vicinity.
“That’s all right. Maybe I should have talked about her a little more.” Instead of blocking out the ordeal and Elaine’s death, he added silently. Spotting the building, he guided the car over to the right lane. “She was a hell of a woman.” He glanced at Mac. “So are you.”
That was entirely unexpected. About to shrug away the compliment, Mac stopped and allowed herself to enjoy it instead. The smile was quick, flashing across her lips like lightning across a summer sky that couldn’t quite come to terms with a sudden shift in the weather.
“Thanks.”
He nodded. “Don’t mention it.” He brought the car to a stop.
Mac’s eyes narrowed as she looked around the busy parking lot. “What are we doing here?”
He was already out of the car, rounding the hood to her side. “Shopping. We’re not newlyweds, so I think they expect us to live on food instead of love.” Without looking up, using only his peripheral vision, Cade saw that the beige car had pulled up and parked two rows over.
Good call, he congratulated himself as they headed into the store and grabbed a shopping cart.
He hadn’t expected it to bring back memories, but it did. Wandering up and down the aisles of a supermarket beside a woman pushing a grocery cart aroused bittersweet feelings within him as it ushered back fragments of the past. Cade was acutely reminded of late, harried Friday evenings when he and Elaine would meet after work and do the week’s grocery shopping before heading home to settle in for two days of catching up with their lives. And two days of lovemaking.
When Darin had come along, Elaine quit her job, but the process remained essentially the same. And each Friday evening, like clockwork, they would go shopping for groceries.
Mac noticed the look on his face. “Is anything wrong?”
It took him several minutes before he could successfully block out his pain. Finally, Cade shook his head. “Just remembering something, that’s all.”
Subtly, she glanced over her shoulder, but she had a feeling he wasn’t referring to their newly acquired shadow. Cade’s expression stuck in her mind long after they had hit the checkout line and walked out of the store.
“Was something bothering you back there?” Mac asked the question as they were taking bags of groceries out of the trunk and carrying them into the condo. She knew she was prying again, but she couldn’t get the expression he’d worn out of her mind.
Unlocking the front door, Cade shouldered it open and walked to the kitchen table with the groceries before he said anything. He debated making something up, but nothing came to him that would fit the occasion. He fell back on what he’d said before. “No, nothing was bothering me. I was just remembering, that’s all.”
He was putting borders up around himself, Mac thought as she began to unpack the bags. Which shouldn’t have bothered her at all, seeing as how they were supposed to be involved in only a professional way.
But the trouble was their involvement had begun to leak into other parts of her life. What was evolving was something that wasn’t nearly as antiseptically professional as she would have liked....
Actually, she amended, maybe the involvement was more professional than she would have liked. She realized with a start, as she forced herself to continue putting groceries away in the walk-in pantry, that there was something about this man, as much as she tried to actively deny it, that got to her. Something about him that reached out to her. Had been reaching out to her all along.
She had no idea if it was her perpetual do-gooder complex that had her seeing him as a man who needed someone, or if it was that for once in her life, she was willing to admit, at least partially, that she needed someone herself.
Now there was a switch, her needing someone. The thought made her uncomfortable with herself. Walking out of the pantry, she almost bumped into Cade. Startled, she stepped back and looked at him. He had a can of coffee in each hand.
“Two?” They weren’t about to stay here long enough to need two cans no matter how strong he took his coffee.
He shrugged. “They were on sale.”
The thought amused her. “A man who shops for bargains—you’re incredible.” She paused, the smile mellowing into something a little more serious. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He stacked one can on top of another. “What, buying two cans of coffee?”
“No, whatever it was that you remembered... earlier, in the store.” She kept adding words, her momentum failing, as he looked at her.
“Not particularly.”
His tone told her to back off—politely. She dug in instead. It was her way. She left a bag of Fuji apples on the table to fend for themselves. “Maybe you should, anyway.”
He looked at her. “What makes you say that?”
“Well, it’s obvious that what it reminded you of was something about your wife, and you said talking about her makes her come to life for you. Maybe you need to let her do that, for a little while.” The look in his eyes made her falter just a little. They’d turned dark. She pressed on, confident she was right. “It helps you move on if you examine your feelings.”
The last thing Cade wanted right now was pop psychology.
“I don’t have to examine them. I know exactly what my feelings are. I loved her, and she’s gone. And I get to move through life alone—looking for the son we created.” He didn’t realize he was raising his voice until he’d finished.
Mac blew out a breath. “Well, I guess that puts me in my place, doesn’t it?”
He hadn’t meant to sound off at her. He’d thought he had better control over himself than that. But he’d been feeling a little on edge the last twenty-four hours or so. He took out a box of instant mashed potatoes and flattened the empty bag.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”
“You didn’t.” Mac took the bag from his hand and automatically put it in a drawer, the way she did at home. “Snapping is what my father does. You were just firmly stating your point—and posting a ten-foot No Trespassing sign in front of you. I’m the one who should apologize. I should have respected your boundaries.”
Cade didn’t want her apologizing to him, not when he was the one who nearly took off her head. She could call it what she would, he knew what he was guilty of. And he knew why, too.
He put his hands on her shoulders to keep her in place while he talked. It was easier talking to the back of her head, but he wasn’t interested in taking the easy way.
“Look, this is a little hard for me right now. I don’t know why, but being with you reminds me of being with Elaine. It’s different, but the same—” He searched her face, trying to see if he was getting through. “Does that make any sense?”
“It could—” Her eyes held his for a minute. “If you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”
He’d already gone too far. Cade dropped his hands to his side. “Maybe we should just leave it that way, unsaid.”
“Are you afraid, Cade?” she asked, smiling.
&nbs
p; There was no shame in a healthy dose of fear. Fear kept you alive to come back and fight the good fight another day. “Yeah, maybe I am.”
“Of what?”
The question was a whisper that teased his very soul.
He couldn’t be anything but honest. Anything else wouldn’t have been him. “Of you. Of feeling this way. Of feeling anything at all.”
“Why?”
Why couldn’t he just keep his mind on what he was sent here to do? Why couldn’t he focus, the way he always could before? She was messing with his mind, and she wasn’t even trying.
“Because feelings aren’t selective. You open yourself up to them, and a whole bunch of things can come pouring in. Pain as well as pleasure.”
“Some people might say that’s a fair price to pay.”
There was nothing fair about the price. “Some people haven’t lost as much as I have.”
Courage was never something Mac had to search for. Until now. She grasped at what she could find and pushed on, all the while afraid to go on, more afraid to stop after she’d come this far.
“Some people would say that you’ve had a lot to lose, but that at least you had it.”
Cade heard something telling in her voice. Something that shortened the gap between them even more. “You’ve never loved anyone?”
Mac refused to look away, even though she wanted to. “My family.”
“But never—”
“I said no, didn’t I?” She realized that she was now the one who was being defensive, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. “There’s never been that special someone in my life. Nobody ever made my pulse race, my breath stop, my head spin—”
Until now.
Because she knew she was describing things that Cade did to her. For her. But that was something she didn’t intend to say out loud. It was bad enough that he could probably see it in her eyes.
Turning away, she began to move back toward the table and the remaining bag. “The ice cream’s melting.”
“We didn’t buy any ice cream.” But even as Cade said it, he wasn’t completely certain. After he’d remembered shopping with Elaine, the rest had been a hazy blur.
Hero in the Nick of Time Page 13