by Comfort Me
Anna allowed herself to be led from the room, still moving with the same rigidity, and up to the guest bedroom, where Mrs O’Brien handed her one of her own nightdresses.
Mrs O’Brien had ordered a hot water bottle in the bed and it was only when Anna was tucked up that she finally spoke to say, ‘Mama?’
‘Don’t worry,’ Mrs O’Brien said. ‘I’ve sent a note to your Mama. Told her that you had a dizzy spell and the doctor has ordered you to bed and given you a draught. You’ll stay here overnight but can’t have visitors. I said I’d keep her informed.’
‘Thank you,’ Anna said weakly, closing her eyes.
‘There’s a little handbell beside your bed to ring if you need anything, otherwise you’ll be left alone. God bless,’ said Mrs O’Brien, leaving and closing the door softly behind her.
Anna lay for a while, puzzling about Eugene’s remarks and his behaviour over the years, until to her own surprise she fell asleep.
She woke at about eight o’clock, feeling again the searing pain of loss and rejection, but shortly afterwards Mrs O’Brien came up with a tray of chicken soup and sandwiches. She was closely followed by the doctor, who handed Anna a small glass containing black liquid.
‘It’s horrible, but it’ll mean a good night’s sleep,’ he said briefly.
Anna drank it and slept heavily until the next morning, when she insisted on rising in time for Mass.
‘You’ve been very kind,’ she told the O’Briens, ‘but I’m not ill. I must get on. Dorrie and Michael arrive on Friday.’
‘You’re a brave girl,’ Dr O’Brien said. ‘And you’ll do a lot better than that blackguard.’
‘Yes, well, if you want to go to ten o’clock Mass, Anna, we must look sharp,’ Mrs O’Brien said quickly.
James Hargreaves was at the Mass and came beside Anna as they left. ‘I missed you at the corner,’ he said quietly.
‘I stayed at the O’Briens’ last night,’ Anna said. She managed a smile. ‘I’ll tell you about it later.’
He asked no more but hastened away and Anna walked back with the O’Briens. She refused an offer of tea at their house and they accompanied her.
‘I thought you were at death’s door,’ her mother greeted her but Dr O’Brien said immediately, ‘You’ll all be at death’s door if you don’t show some sense about this cleaning. Do you think that’s what Dorrie and Michael want? Anna with a dizzy spell and you, madam, in bed with a sick headache, I understand.’
He bent over Mrs Furlong and took her wrist. ‘Where’s Miss Furlong?’ he asked.
‘Out visiting, as usual,’ Mrs Furlong said with a martyred air. ‘Everything is left to me.’
‘Nelly,’ the doctor called and when she came, wiping her hands on a cloth and smiling at Anna, he said solemnly, ‘Nelly, Mrs Furlong has been doing too much. She must rest in bed to be strong for when her family come. No more housework. Health is more important.’
‘Yes, doctor,’ Nelly said meekly, suppressing a grin.
He turned to Mrs Furlong. ‘Remember, rest in bed. No exertion. Anna has recovered and she and Nelly will do what is necessary.’
‘I’ll help you to bed now,’ Mrs O’Brien said solicitously and with a pleased smile Mrs Furlong allowed herself to be assisted from the room.
The doctor turned to Anna and gave her a broad wink. ‘That should keep her out of your way for a while,’ he said and in spite of her misery Anna laughed.
‘You should have been an actor,’ she said. ‘You were so convincing.’
Shortly afterwards the O’Briens left and Anna thanked them again and said quietly to Mrs O’Brien, ‘I’m still in a fog. If you can explain anything you will, won’t you?’
Mrs O’Brien promised but said, ‘We’re still in the dark about so much ourselves and there wasn’t time to ask. Why, he was in civilian clothes, as if he’s left the army.’
‘Perhaps Michael will be able to help,’ Anna said hopefully as they parted.
Mrs Furlong kept to her bed, telling Clara smugly that it was doctor’s orders, so had little opportunity for sniping at Anna and was still unaware that Eugene had been in Liverpool.
Anna was relieved to keep herself too busy to have time to dwell on her trouble and thrust any thoughts of Eugene away with the determination that she would have some answers from Dorrie and Michael.
On Wednesday she was walking down into town with a list of shopping. As she turned into Shaw Street the door of the surgery opened and Dr O’Brien and Mr D’Arcy emerged and stepped into a cab.
Anna stood rooted to the spot as the cab drove away, wondering if her eyes deceived her, but she knew that it was Mr D’Arcy. What was he doing in Liverpool and driving away with Dr O’Brien? She stood hesitating, wondering whether she could call on Mrs O’Brien, but her courage failed her and she went on into town.
She shopped automatically and took her purchases home but she left again immediately and hurried to Shaw Street. She was sure that something must have happened to Eugene and she felt she must know.
Mrs O’Brien drew her into the small back parlour, telling Mary that she must not be disturbed.
‘My dear, I don’t know how to tell you this,’ Mrs O’Brien began, placing her hand over Anna’s.
‘Eugene? He’s hurt?’ Anna faltered.
‘No, no. He’s perfectly well – physically. Well, I don’t know. Doctor says he suspected but then when he fell in love with you he thought he must be wrong. I know about these things as a nurse, Anna. I’ll have to try to explain to you. Have you heard of a man named Oscar Wilde?’
‘Yes. The poet who went to gaol,’ Anna said, puzzled.
‘But you don’t know why he went to gaol?’
‘No, but what has this to do with Eugene? Is he in gaol?’ Anna asked.
Mrs O’Brien sighed. ‘No, but some men, you see, they’re born different. They can hide it for years, because it’s against the law, but they are drawn to people of their own sex instead of girls.’
‘But Eugene. He couldn’t be,’ Anna said, thinking of the loving glances, the words of love which she had treasured.
‘I think he’s tried to fight it for years, Anna,’ Mrs O’Brien said gently. ‘I think he is one who has two sides to his nature. Some of these men even marry and have children but sooner or later the other side takes over.’
Anna was silent, thinking of Eugene’s anguished words at their last meeting. Was this what he meant when he spoke of failing and pulling her down with him?
Mrs O’Brien said nothing to give Anna time to understand her words.
After a while Anna asked, ‘But why have Dr O’Brien and Mr D’Arcy gone away together? Is it about Eugene?’
‘Yes, they’ve gone to London. You remember I spoke of Oscar Wilde?’ Mrs O’Brien said. Anna nodded. ‘He went to gaol because he was thought to have corrupted a young man, Lord Alfred Douglas, whose father was determined Oscar Wilde would be punished.’
‘Eugene hasn’t done that?’ Anna cried in alarm.
‘No, no. Just the reverse. It’s an older man who has been pestering Eugene.’
‘And Dr O’Brien and Mr D’Arcy have gone to stop him?’ Anna said eagerly.
‘I don’t know,’ Mrs O’Brien said. ‘Mr D’Arcy came to ask for his help so Paddy went with him. They’re family, after all. Before he went he said, “I don’t know what we’ll find there, what the situation is, but one thing for sure, Maureen, I’ll find out the truth. No more lies and deceits.” And he will, Anna. He should be home tomorrow and everything will be explained.’
‘And we can do nothing,’ Anna said sadly.
‘Only wait and pray. Try not to guess at what might be happening, Anna. We’ll soon know,’ said Mrs O’Brien and Anna could only agree.
Chapter Fourteen
Anna and her aunt spent most of Thursday baking in preparation for Dorrie and Michael’s visit but they were constantly interrupted by demands and complaints from the pseudo-invalid upstairs.
‘Even you
r young legs must be aching with all this running up and downstairs,’ Clara said finally and at the next fretful cry of ‘Anna’ she stumped upstairs.
‘What do you want now?’ she demanded.
‘I want Anna,’ Mrs Furlong said sulkily.
‘She’s in the middle of some very tricky baking. You want us to be ready for Dorrie, don’t you?’ Clara said bluntly. When her sister-in-law nodded she said, ‘Then stop calling Anna every five minutes. We’ve got work to do. And another thing, the doctor said to rest so you’d be ready for Dorrie, not be lying in bed when she comes home.’
‘I exhausted myself. The doctor said so,’ Mrs Furlong wailed.
Clara said roughly, ‘And you want Dorrie to think that and feel guilty?’
‘No, no, I wouldn’t upset my darling girl for the world. She loves me so,’ she said, dabbing her eyes, ‘but I still feel weak.’
Clara made an impatient gesture but she said, ‘Stay here until tomorrow morning, then. Anna can bring up a tray shortly but you must stop bothering us,’ and Mrs Furlong meekly agreed.
Later Anna took up a tray containing a pot of tea, a large jug of herb tea and a wine glass and a generous helping of ham, bread and butter and fruit cake. She was in a fever of impatience for a call from Mrs O’Brien and thought this should stop her mother asking for her.
It was seven o’clock before a small boy delivered a note. Anna told her aunt she was going to see Mrs O’Brien and left immediately. She worried that she might have to see Mr D’Arcy but it seemed he had already left.
Anna and Mrs O’Brien sat together on a sofa at one side of the fire and Dr O’Brien sat facing them.
‘I don’t like to talk about such things to a girl with your upbringing, Anna,’ he began, ‘but Maureen tells me she’s prepared you. I’ll tell you straight out. When we got there he was gone. Gone with this wealthy old blackguard. An MP and pillar of society so at least they’ll try to hush it up.’
‘God forgive him. Poor Eugene,’ Mrs O’Brien murmured, taking Anna’s hand.
‘Poor Eugene!’ Dr O’Brien exploded, jumping to his feet. ‘He’s a grown man. He knew what he was doing.’
‘But the temptation, Paddy. Being pulled two ways. You have to pity him.’
‘I don’t!’ shouted Dr O’Brien. ‘I don’t have to pity him or forgive him either for the deceit. Pretending to be in love with this poor girl to pull the wool over our eyes. I had my doubts about him but when I thought he was in love, planning marriage…’ He picked up the poker and rattled it furiously against the bars of the grate.
‘It was all a plot, a scheme to get at my money,’ he went on. ‘D’Arcy let out more than he realised on the way to London and I got more out of him. It seems they were afraid we were getting too fond of Michael and they thought Bridie was as bad as themselves, trying to get at my money. Bridie! The last thought in her head!’
‘But sure they couldn’t expect to get it until you were dead. They were never wishing you dead, Paddy?’ said Mrs O’Brien.
Anna sat as if turned to stone, the words like hammer blows in her head.
‘He had the impudence to say Eugene was my elder nephew and my natural heir. It seems they were at him all the time to come here and butter us up. I told him: I’ve no natural heir. I decide where my money goes, no one else.’
‘But, Paddy, what happened in London?’ Mrs O’Brien asked.
Dr O’Brien glanced at Anna, then looked down at his boots. ‘We saw the officer who had written to D’Arcy. He was very good,’ he muttered. ‘Eugene has been out of the regiment for ten days so he really had no responsibility for him but he thought his father might be able to influence him. He said he appreciated that Eugene got his discharge so if he goes ahead and he’s charged it’ll be as a private citizen. He won’t bring disgrace on the army.’
He seemed to realise suddenly that his wife and Anna were staring at him in horror and he said quickly, ‘It won’t come to that, I’m sure. We went to the lodgings he’d taken but he had been gone a couple of days. They’re probably well on their way to the Continent by now.’
‘But if they’re stopped, Paddy?’ Mrs O’Brien said fearfully. ‘You’re sure he’s with this older man?’
‘Quite sure,’ Dr O’Brien said but he added cynically, ‘Don’t worry, he’s not only rolling in money but extremely well connected. It’d be a very foolhardy man who dared to make any of this public. No, it’ll all be swept under the carpet and for the sake of the family I’m relieved it will be.’
‘Will they be safe on the Continent?’ Mrs O’Brien asked.
‘Yes,’ he said briefly. ‘Foreigners have a different view of such things.’
‘But I only care about Eugene, Paddy’ Mrs O’Brien wept. ‘Poor boy. Being pulled every way. His mind must have been in turmoil.’
Dr O’Brien stood up and went to a cupboard, where he poured three glasses of brandy. ‘He’ll get no sympathy from me,’ he said. ‘Liars and cheats I can’t abide. Why do you think he came here last Saturday?’
Anna sipped at her brandy, hoping to fortify herself for what she was about to hear. She knew by the doctor’s grim expression it was not good.
‘He had to decide. He wanted to know his chances here before they burned their boats so he came sniffing round to see what he could get out of me.’
‘Oh, Paddy,’ Mrs O’Brien said faintly.
‘It’s true. He said that if – if mind you – he left the army he had an opportunity to set up in business and he asked me to advance him the necessary money. “It can’t fail,” he said but he could tell me very little about it.’
‘But he’d already left the army,’ Mrs O’Brien said.
‘Exactly. He named the sum he needed. I won’t tell you what it was but it knocked me sideways, I can tell you, as much because it showed he’d worked out what I was worth. That was it. I told him he should stay in the army where he seemed to be doing well. If his promotion was coming too slowly for marriage I was willing to settle a sum on Anna on their wedding day but of course it was nothing like the sum he asked for.’
Mrs O’Brien took Anna’s hand and squeezed it, looking reproachfully at her husband, and he said hurriedly, ‘Of course, when we got to London he was in a worse mess than I thought. Been gambling, living like an officer on a private’s pay and up to his eyes in debt.’
‘He must have got in with the wrong people,’ Mrs O’Brien said. ‘Been led astray by others as well as that wicked old man. I think he came here hoping that if you lent him the money he could make a fresh start. Marry Anna and settle down to live a decent life away from the temptations in London.’
Anna looked at her gratefully. It was what she wanted to believe but Dr O’Brien snorted. ‘Didn’t take him long to make his choice when he knew there was nothing doing with me. The old man, of course, has seen to everything. Eugene’s debts are paid, bills settled, whatever was necessary with the army. He can sit back and be taken care of for the rest of his life,’ he said bitterly.’
He pressed Anna’s hand, shaking his head and murmuring, ‘Forgive us, my poor child.’
Anna could see that his eyes were full of tears and he turned abruptly and left the room.
Left alone, she and Mrs O’Brien clung together and wept, Mrs O’Brien saying, ‘It’s broken his heart. You mustn’t mind him, Anna. Everything is black and white to Paddy. Poor Eugene.’
Anna was the first to sit up and wipe her eyes. ‘Do you truly believe what you said about Saturday? That Eugene came here hoping to make a fresh start?’
‘I do,’ Mrs O’Brien said eagerly. ‘Don’t you, Anna?’
‘Yes. Some of the things he said make sense to me now. He said he tried so hard. If he could have loved anyone properly it would have been me. I was hurt but I understand now. He said he was being pulled every way.’
‘Yes, and those who should have helped him could only think of money. His father, for one. He should have guided him when he was a young boy and perhaps Eugene would
have grown up a normal young man. And then this man in London, taking advantage of his trouble. I still say he is more sinned against than sinning. Do you feel bitter towards him, Anna?’
Anna shook her head. ‘No, but I feel so confused. All this going on and I’ve been so unaware of it.’
‘There was no reason for you to know of this seamy side of life, Anna, and you were better kept in innocence. Now you’ve seen it very close to, and you know the heartache that goes with it, you’ll understand people more and be more tolerant,’ Mrs O’Brien said gently.
‘I thought I was tolerant,’ Anna said in surprise.
Mrs O’Brien smiled. ‘I didn’t say you weren’t. I was only trying to console you by saying no experience is wasted.’
Anna said thoughtfully, ‘Of course, I’ve had hardly any occasion to be tolerant, except about girls who had babies, but I would never condemn them or listen to gossip.’
‘I was thinking more of your mother,’ Mrs O’Brien said.
Anna looked surprised at first, then shamefaced. ‘I know what you mean,’ she said, ‘but it’s my unruly tongue. Things pop out before I can stop them.’
‘I know it’s hard but try to understand, Anna. She needs her fantasies. Her life has made her what she is, like all of us.’ She sighed but just then the door opened and Mary looked in.
‘The doctor says you have got to have something to eat,’ she announced.
‘Where is he?’ Mrs O’Brien said. She excused herself and left the room and Anna felt free to think over the astounding things she had heard. She could understand Dr O’Brien’s anger but she could only feel love and pity for Eugene and regret that she had not done more to help him turn to what she saw as the better side of his nature.
Yet how could I? she thought. I didn’t even know such things happened. She tried to remember the Oscar Wilde case but she had known few details at the time. Newspapers were only delivered to the house when Captain Furlong was at home and although she knew the Deagan family discussed the case Jim had only said to her that it was like caging a bird to gaol Oscar Wilde.