by Comfort Me
James took their wet outer clothes and hung them up and Frances welcomed Anna. ‘Come and sit by the kitchen fire and get your breath back and get warm,’ she said. ‘The tea’s ready. I thought it was a day for pea soup.’
‘Sounds just right,’ Anna said.
She was surprised to see Frances moving about, although with difficulty, and said so but Frances winked at her. ‘I’m keeping moving ’cos once I sit down I’ll stiffen up,’ she said. ‘It’s all ready, James.’
They went into the dining room, where there was a large tureen of pea soup on the table and an enormous meat plate filled with slices of home-cooked ham.
‘This pea soup is wonderful, heavenly,’ Anna said. ‘No wonder you’re proud of it. I could live on it.’ They all laughed and suddenly Anna had a strange feeling. Could this really be her, Anna Furlong, always so stiff and reserved, finding it impossible to respond to people? It must be this house, she decided.
After the meal was cleared away she and James went into the parlour, where a wood fire burned brightly, the curtains were drawn and the gaslight lit. James sat beside her on a sofa drawn up near to the fire.
Anna had already thanked Frances but she thanked James quietly for his invitation and for the delicious meal.
‘No, I’m in your debt for coming,’ he said. ‘I’ve looked forward to this all week, Anna.’
‘So have I,’ she said.
He coughed and stirred the fire, then said nervously, ‘I’ve been thinking, Anna. Since we talked about our feelings… we both – er – Dorrie and Eugene…’ He was rubbing his thumb against his forefinger and blushing and stammering but with a visible effort he spoke more coherently.
‘You know about Dorrie but I admire and respect you, Anna, and feel deep affection for you. We get on so well and I enjoy your company. I don’t expect you to feel the same about me and I know how you feel about Eugene, but, well, would you consider marrying me?’
Astonishment kept Anna silent for a moment and James went on, ‘When I came back here after walking you home the last time you visited, the house seemed so empty without you, and I thought of you going to where you were not happy and this idea seemed so sensible. Now you must think I’m mad.’
‘You’re not asking me out of pity, I hope,’ Anna said, drawing back. ‘I’m not happy at home but I can manage that situation.’
‘Anything but that!’ he exclaimed. ‘I’m sorry. I’m doing this very badly. It’s presumptuous of me to ask any girl to marry me, let alone a lovely girl like you, but we seem to have become friends. I’m a dull dog, though. I’ll never get very far in my job or do anything very interesting but I’d do my best to make you happy, Anna.’
‘You have a very low opinion of yourself,’ Anna said gently.
He went on quietly, ‘I think I should tell you honestly what you’d be taking on. I’ve had fits of melancholia for years, although I think I’m over them now. Dr O’Brien has helped me a lot. I’m a poor mixer. Never know what to say to people but somehow, Anna, I’m different when I’m with you.’ He smiled. ‘You unlock my tongue.’
‘That’s strange!’ Anna exclaimed. ‘It was only today, sitting at the table, when I was enthusing about the pea soup, that I suddenly thought, Could it really be me talking like that? I’m usually so stiff and I find it hard to say pleasant things. Although I say sarcastic ones easily enough,’ she added ruefully. ‘I decided the house cast a spell on me but now I realise it’s you. We must be good for each other.’
‘So will you marry me?’ James said anxiously and when she blushed and whispered, ‘Yes,’ he put his arms around her and kissed her.
She said quietly but firmly, ‘I know that there are practical reasons for this marriage but I wouldn’t marry you, James, if I didn’t have a genuine liking and respect for you.’
‘I know, Anna,’ he said, ‘and I’m very grateful that you feel that way. I’ve told you how I feel about you and I think it’s a good basis for a companionable marriage.’
He stood up and poured two glassfuls of sherry and brought one to her. ‘I think we should pledge our troth,’ he said with a grin and they clinked glasses and drank.
They spent the rest of the evening discussing details, deciding to tell nobody until Captain Furlong returned in about six weeks’ time, when James would go to see him.
‘What about Frances?’ James said.
Anna replied, ‘I’d love to tell her, and she has a right to know, but she has visitors and it might be very hard for her to keep it to herself.’
She told James about her aunt’s warning and the reason for it because she was determined to keep no secrets from him. Although he said nothing he was shocked at this insight into her mother’s character and determined to have Anna away from her as soon as possible.
Frances was in bed when Anna left and she whispered, ‘Just as well. She’d guess right away if she saw us.’ For the sober, companionable marriage they were planning, they both seemed remarkably happy.
As they walked to Westbourne Street James said, ‘I keep thinking there’ll be no more of these snatched meetings. You going to where you’re not appreciated and me going back to a house that seems so empty without you. I’m looking forward to you being there when I come home from the office and being able to be with you all the time, except at night, of course, when you’ll have your own room.’
Anna smiled to herself, thinking that he had worked this reassurance in very neatly, after a long preamble. ‘I love your house,’ she said. ‘I look forward to living there, although you know I wouldn’t marry you just for that, James.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘We understand each other, Anna, and that is the best thing of all.’
When they drew near her home he put his arms around her and kissed her. ‘I’ll do my best to make you happy, Anna,’ he said. ‘I know it won’t be the romantic marriage that girls like but we can have a good marriage.’
‘And I’ll try to make you happy, James,’ she whispered. ‘I know how you feel about Dorrie and you know about Eugene but we can have a good marriage, I’m sure, because we like and respect each other.’
He kissed her again and she went into the house, wondering whether they were both trying too hard to reassure each other.
Nelly had opened the door to her and indicated that her mother and aunt were still in the parlour but Anna followed her to the kitchen. ‘How has it been?’ she whispered.
‘She’s had two of her cronies here and she was carrying on sumpn shockin’. Calling you for everything to them. She’s dying to know where you go, so watch out,’ warned Nelly.
‘I’ll have to go in and face it,’ Anna said and, summoning up her courage, she went and greeted her mother and aunt. Her mother immediately began a tirade about how ashamed she had been for her friends to know the selfish and ungrateful daughter she was burdened with. How sad and unfair it was that the daughter she really cared for and who cared for her was far away in London and how unlikely it was that a girl as gauche and plain as Anna would ever be taken off her hands.
Anna stood meekly, letting the abuse wash over her, trying to hold fast to the thought that she would soon be married and away, but already doubts had begun to creep in.
At last she was free to go to her room and think about the events of the day. Was it wise, she wondered, for her and James to marry, knowing that both their hearts had been given elsewhere? She took the photograph of Eugene from her drawer and looked at his beloved face. I’ll always love him, she thought, no matter what he is or what he’s done, but I do feel affection for James.
She thought of his kindness and his humility and how bravely he had overcome his terrible childhood. He was sensitive to other people’s feelings too, she thought, remembering how he had carefully made it clear that they would have separate bedrooms. I hadn’t even thought of that side of things but it might have been worrying me.
I’ll be safe with him, she decided, and I’ll be happy in that lovely house with people who seem t
o like me. Not like here, where I’ve always been crushed, and disliked even more since Dorrie went.
Dorrie! What would Dorrie say? She still thought of James as one of her admirers. What would she say when she heard that Anna was to marry him? The old Dorrie would have been happy for her but her sister was so different now. I can’t tell her until James has spoken to Father, Anna thought.
And Dr and Mrs O’Brien, what would they think? Probably that she was very fickle to forget Eugene so easily, but then she remembered that they were unaware of how deeply she loved Eugene. If only the next few months were over and she was married and safe with James.
Chapter Seventeen
Although Anna and James had decided to say nothing until James had asked Captain Furlong for permission to marry Anna, it was a matter of courtesy, not a legal necessity. They knew that they were free to marry at any time and went ahead with their plans, James even making enquiries about a special licence.
Anna and Dorrie had had accounts at the same exclusive shop as their mother, arranged by Captain Furlong, but his wife had cancelled Anna’s at the same time as Dorrie’s and said that in future Anna’s purchases would go on her bills. This meant it was impossible for her to make a trousseau, no matter how modest, but she reflected ruefully that only she would know how plain and unbridelike her underclothes and nightdresses would be. They would be hidden in the decent obscurity of her own bedroom.
In the week following their engagement, she saw James only once, at church, and only briefly as they were joined by Kate Deagan. She told them of the changes that were taking place in the Deagan house.
‘You knew Walter and Maggie were coming to live in our house, didn’t you?’ she said. ‘And Norah and Frank are taking over their little house. Norah’ll be nearer the family and it’s as much as they can afford, really.’
‘It’s a good plan,’ Anna agreed. ‘Walter’s very easygoing, isn’t he?’
‘Yes. He’s one of the best. Ma thought the world of him,’ Kate said with a sigh. ‘I’ll be leaving soon, to work in London.’
‘In London!’ Anna exclaimed.
‘Yes, for the same firm. They’ve asked me before but I wouldn’t go while Ma was here. I’ll carry on with my Suffragist work there, nearer the heart of things. I wish you’d take it up, Anna. I thought I’d convinced you.’
‘You had,’Anna said emphatically. ‘It was just, er, practical difficulties. I might be able to do it now.’ She glanced at James and he smiled at her.
‘What about Luke and Jim?’ he said. ‘They’ll still live at home, I suppose.’
‘Yes, but they’re thinking of setting up their own printing business. They’ve both been at Worrall’s for years, since they were apprenticed, and it’s a good solid old firm but they’d like to try out some new ideas.’
‘Why not?’ said James. ‘As master printers they’ll never be out of work.’
‘You must think we’ve only been waiting for Ma to go to do all these things, Mr Hargreaves!’ Kate exclaimed.
‘Oh no, but doing things must help you to bear losing her,’ he said kindly.
‘Yes, indeed,’ said Kate. She linked her arm through Anna’s and turned away and Anna had to turn with her. ‘Goodbye, Mr Hargreaves,’ Kate said and Anna looked back smiling as James raised his hat and walked away.
‘What a nice, understanding man he is!’ Kate exclaimed, and Anna was tempted to confide in her, but Kate spoke of the new baby and the moment passed.
Mrs Furlong was now even more unpleasant to Anna and frustrated any attempt she made to leave the house and Anna’s longing to confide in someone grew. She could think of nothing but James’s proposal. Finally she decided to write to Isabel, whom she knew would be discreet.
‘Dear Isabel,’ she wrote, ‘You will find this a surprising letter. In some ways I can’t believe myself that this has happened. You know that for some time James Hargreaves and I have walked to and from church together, because he was coming down from his house as I reached the corner of Eastbourne and Westbourne Street.
‘I went back to his house after a confraternity meeting. Frances O’Neill, his housekeeper, was there and I’ve been to tea several times and been made very welcome by James and Frances. Last Sunday he asked me to marry him. I know that Dorrie is his real love and he knows about Eugene but they are both impossible dreams so we have decided to marry for companionship.
‘He says he feels respect and deep affection for me and I feel the same for him. You know, Isabel, we wouldn’t consider marriage otherwise. We have not told anyone. We are waiting until Father comes home in a month’s time and James can ask his permission but I know you will keep our secret.
‘I miss you so much, Isabel, and wish I could see you. I miss your mother and the boys too, and little Wilma, and hope you are all happy. With much love, Anna.’
As a postscript she wrote, ‘I haven’t yet told Dorrie. Wonder what she will think?’
Mrs Furlong handed over the stamp for Isabel’s letter with a sly smile which made Anna uneasy but she posted the letter herself and knew her mother had no opportunity to read it.
Two days later a letter arrived from Isabel and Nelly, warned by Anna, hid it under her apron before putting the letters by Mrs Furlong’s sofa.
Isabel had written warmly but discreetly, telling Anna that her letter had made her very happy and thanking her for her good wishes.
‘I send mine to you also, dearest Anna,’ she wrote, ‘and wish you every happiness. We are happy but I miss good friends in Liverpool. There are very few young men here and none as good as those we knew, the Deagans and James Hargreaves, men of integrity that we could respect and admire. The village men are hobbledehoys by comparison. My uncle has offered to take me to Liverpool when he goes on business and I am quite desperate to see you again so something will be arranged soon. Fondest love and good wishes, dearest Anna, Isabel.’
Have I ever told Isabel about Mama reading my letters or has she just guessed? Anna wondered. How carefully she had written, but with warmth and approval to be read between the lines which Anna found gave her comfort and strength.
Her mother had not invited any visitors the following Sunday so Anna expected no opposition when she said that she was going out. She was quite unprepared for her mother’s reaction when, subduing her happiness, she said in a colourless voice, ‘I’m going now, Mama. I won’t be late.’
Her mother was, as usual, reclining on her sofa but she sat bolt upright and her head came forward like a cobra about to strike. With all the venom of the deadly snake she hissed, ‘Going to chase after your sister’s leavings, are you?’ When Anna jerked back, as though from a blow, she went on, ‘Don’t think I don’t know where you go. No wonder you’re ashamed. A fool that Dorrie wouldn’t have wiped her feet on, but I suppose he thinks he’ll hear about her through you. He wouldn’t want to see you for your own sake, not even a gawk like that. No man has ever looked twice at you, plain, gawky—’ but Anna had fled from the room and the house.
She was rushing along Westbourne Street, blinded by tears, when she realised that James, who had come to meet her, had taken her arm. ‘What’s happened, Anna? What’s upset you?’ he asked anxiously.
‘Mama knows,’ she gasped. ‘She knows I go to your house.’
‘Does she know about our plans to marry?’ he asked.
‘I don’t think so,’ Anna said, weeping afresh as she thought of the words ‘chasing her sister’s leavings’.
He handed her a large white handkerchief and said firmly, ‘We won’t talk any more about it until we get home. Frances seems a bit better today and she’s looking forward to the summer. It’s like a spring day today, isn’t it, although it’s only February?’
Anna agreed and managed to compose herself before they went in to Frances but after greeting her they went immediately to the parlour to talk.
Anna gave James an edited version of her mother’s remarks and told him that someone must have spied on her to find out wh
ere she went.
‘But you are sure they don’t know about our plans to marry?’ James said.
Anna shook her head. ‘Not yet,’ she said.
‘I don’t see any point in keeping them secret any longer though,’ James said. ‘Will your father get a letter if it’s written now?’
‘Yes, I think so,’ said Anna. ‘But what about Frances?’
‘Yes. I think we should tell Frances right away,’ said James. ‘Then we can both write to your father. I intend to suggest Dr O’Brien and Fr Kavanagh or Fr Ratcliffe to vouch for me so suppose we go and see the O’Briens later?’
‘Yes, I’m sure they’ll give us good advice,’ Anna said.
Frances was pleased but not surprised by their news and told them she had been praying for it. After their tea they both wrote to Anna’s father then walked down to see the O’Briens, who were both delighted to hear of their plan to marry.
‘Excellent! Excellent!’ Dr O’Brien exclaimed. ‘Couldn’t have planned better myself. You’ll do perfectly together.’
James glanced at Anna, then said awkwardly, ‘We don’t want to deceive you. We both know we’ve er – committed our – our hearts elsewhere, but I respect and admire Anna and she says she feels the same, so we’re marrying for companionship. But we wouldn’t marry unless we felt sincere affection for each other.’ He turned to Anna. ‘I haven’t explained that well, have I?’ he said.
‘Yes you have. Very clearly,’ she said gently.
‘You’ve convinced me even more that you’re doing the right thing!’ Dr O’Brien said delightedly. ‘And as for these dream people, you’ll probably forget them when you’re both leading happier lives. Won’t need them.’
‘You’re on your hobbyhorse, Paddy,’ Mrs O’Brien said, laughing. ‘He’s always delving into people’s minds. Asking about their dreams.’