by Comfort Me
Anna found that James had managed to disentangle himself from Dorrie and she was sitting on a sofa, silent now. James had also taken the pins from her large hat and he looked hopefully at Anna but she shook her head and turned away. She felt unable to touch her sister so James took off Dorrie’s hat and she lay down and closed her eyes, as though exhausted.
With the veil removed, it was possible to see that the blotchiness of her skin had faded and been replaced by a waxen pallor and there were dark shadows beneath her eyes. Anna still kept her face averted from her sister but James went to her and put his arms around her.
‘Don’t let this upset you, Anna,’ he said tenderly. ‘Something has happened and she’s not responsible for her actions. This is some sort of nerve storm.’ She laid her head on his shoulder and he gently stroked her hair with one hand while with the other he held her close. Dorrie lay as though dead on the sofa and soon they heard the noise of the cab bringing Dr O’Brien with Julia.
He bustled in. ‘What’s this? What’s happening?’ Then he saw Dorrie on the sofa. ‘God bless my soul!’ he exclaimed. He bent over her but her eyes remained closed and James put a chair for the doctor beside her, then pointed to the door and he and Anna went out quietly, leaving Dr O’Brien and Dorrie alone.
He took her pulse, then said loudly, ‘Dorrie,’ and she lifted her eyelids as though with a great effort. ‘Why are you here? What’s happened, girl?’
Tears filled her eyes and poured down her cheeks. ‘Where’s James?’ she asked.
‘What do you want James for?’ he asked. ‘More to the point, where’s Michael? Have you travelled here on your own?’
She nodded. ‘Michael hates me,’ she said, with fresh tears. ‘I came home to people who love me. To James.’
The doctor smothered an exclamation. ‘Dorrie, you’re living in the past, girl. That was all years ago. James is married to Anna now,’ he said gently but she shook her head.
‘Not really. He only married her for a housekeeper. Mama said the marriage has never been consummated. He’s still free.’
Dr O’Brien sprang to his feet, uttering an oath and his opinion of her mother. ‘And for this rubbish you’ve left your husband and come rushing here on a wild-goose chase after a happily married man. I gave you credit for more sense, Dorrie,’ he said.
At these forthright words she screamed, ‘No! No!’ and began to thrash about on the sofa.
The doctor gripped her wrists. ‘Stop this,’ he said firmly. ‘Tell me, where’s Michael and why did you leave him?’
She lay back limply, with tears again sliding down her cheeks. ‘Michael hates me,’ she said, ‘and I hate him. He never wants to see me again.’
Dr O’Brien studied her, then said suddenly, ‘How long is it since you’ve eaten?’ and he passed her a handkerchief.
‘I – I don’t know,’ Dorrie stammered, taken by surprise. ‘I suppose last night. The dinner party.’
‘Did you have any breakfast? Or lunch?’ the doctor demanded and she shook her head. ‘Just lie there quietly,’ he said and went out of the room. He met his wife, who had travelled up in the cab with him and gone into the kitchen with Julia, as he entered the hall.
She drew him away from the door, her finger on her lips. ‘I’m going to arrange for food for her. She’s in a state of collapse,’ he whispered but she shook her head.
‘Not here,’ she said. ‘Anna doesn’t want anything to do with her and I don’t blame her after what I’ve heard. We’ll take her back to stay with us, Paddy, until Michael gets here.’
‘If he gets here,’ he muttered dubiously but she said, ‘He will. He will. I’ll tell them you want her at our house, under your eye,’ and went back to Anna and James.
The doctor went back to Dorrie, who lay apparently limp and exhausted on the sofa, but Dr O’Brien was experienced enough to know that her nerves were like a coiled spring.
He opened his bag and poured a small amount of liquid into a medicine glass. ‘Drink this,’ he said authoritatively, putting his hand behind her head and holding the glass to her mouth. She drank meekly and as meekly allowed herself to be assisted to her feet when Mrs O’Brien appeared.
‘You’re coming home with us, love,’ Mrs O’Brien said gently, shedding her own ready tears at the change in the pretty, happy girl she remembered. ‘Doctor wants you where he can look after you.’ Yet another cab was outside and Julia opened the front door and helped to put Dorrie in it. Anna and James did not appear, on the doctor’s advice.
The doctor’s potion made Dorrie languid and amenable as Mrs O’Brien and Mary undressed her and put her to bed. They fed her with broth then she lay down and slept immediately.
A little later the telegram arrived from Michael and Dr O’Brien immediately sent an answer saying, ‘Dorrie at my house. Will expect you tomorrow. Love from us both.’
‘That should bring him,’ he told his wife but she said serenely, ‘I’m sure he intended to come anyway, otherwise he wouldn’t have sent the wire.’
When Michael arrived the next day Dorrie was still in bed, and before he saw her Dr O’Brien had a long talk with him. ‘I can’t get any sense out of Dorrie about what’s gone wrong between you so I hope you can tell me,’ he said bluntly.
Michael gave him an edited version of the quarrel, omitting any mention of the embryo he had christened and buried. ‘I was angry because she’d made a fool of me,’ he said. ‘I told her I never wanted to see her again but I didn’t mean it. I went to see the padre about that Rafferty one and he made me see it was as much my fault as Dorrie’s.’
‘In what way?’ his uncle asked.
‘Well, he made me see what her life had been here, with Anna always with her, and then I’d taken her among strangers and not looked after her properly. That’s how that one got her claws into her.’
‘She won’t be able to rely on Anna now,’ the doctor said with a sigh. ‘I think her and James have got too much good sense to let it affect their marriage but Anna’s going to feel bitter towards Dorrie for a long time. You know what happened there?’
‘Yes, my aunt told me,’ Michael said. ‘She blamed Dorrie’s mother.’
The doctor gave his opinion of Mrs Furlong and concluded, ‘She’s half mad and half bad. Can tell herself a lie and make herself believe it. She’s another one to keep Dorrie away from.’
Michael groaned and hung his head. ‘My poor little love. What chance did she have? And me that should have looked after her blind to it all. Just pleased with myself making money and what good is it to us now? I couldn’t see what was staring me in the face.’
‘Don’t be blaming yourself too much,’ Dr O’Brien said. ‘Dorrie’s a grown woman. She’s got to take her share but this should be a lesson for both of you. You did your best, Michael, even to leaving the regiment and I know how hard that was for you.’
‘Maybe as well I did,’ Michael said, ‘with the way things are at Ballinane and Dermot’s carry-on. He won’t accept Home Rule, Mammy says. It’s all or nothing with Dermot.’
‘He’s a hot head and an idealist, burning to right Ireland’s wrongs, and it’s a dangerous mixture. Our poor country, Michael, the land of saints and scholars. What’s to become of it at all, at all?’ The doctor sighed. They were silent for a moment, their thoughts far away, then the doctor said briskly, ‘Now, will you take a word of advice, Michael?’
‘I thought I’d had some,’ Michael said with the ghost of a smile but Dr O’Brien went on, ‘Dorrie’s a good girl, a gentle girl, without much belief in herself. She’ll always believe that other people know better than her so she’s easily led. She’ll always need a best friend. You must be that best friend, Michael.’
‘How do you mean, Uncle?’ Michael asked.
‘I mean talk to her. Get her involved in what you’re doing and planning. Don’t decide something and then tell her. See what she thinks about the idea and ask about her day, what she’s been doing.’
‘I don’t think she’d
be interested in the business,’ Michael said doubtfully.
‘How do you know? She might have some bright ideas that could help you. She’s not a fool, y’know.’
‘I know,’ Michael said indignantly. ‘Don’t worry, Uncle. I’ve learnt my lesson. We’ll make a fresh start when we go back and I’ll make sure I talk to Dorrie about everything.’
‘And keep her away from Liverpool for as long as you can. Although she won’t be anxious to come back here. She’ll want to forget this little episode as soon as possible,’ the doctor said.
Dorrie was still in bed but Michael sat beside her and they talked for hours, discussing the mistakes of the past and making plans for the future. Michael found Dorrie subdued but sensible. ‘I can’t believe I behaved like that,’ she told him. ‘I must have been mad.’
‘Not at all, sweetheart,’ he consoled her. ‘Your nerves were overstretched and I was to blame but it came to a crisis and you’re over it now. Put it out of your head.’ And she gladly agreed.
They stayed overnight and travelled back to London on Monday morning, after telling the O’Briens how grateful they both were.
‘We’ll come often to see you but give Liverpool a wide berth for a while,’ the doctor said and his wife said hastily, ‘And take care of yourselves, now.’
Michael had wired the time of their return to the servants and warned Dorrie of her mother’s fictional illness, so she was prepared for Jessie’s sympathy. Michael told Eddy that he had been misinformed about Dorrie’s affair and had ‘flown off the handle’ too soon and everyone else seemed to have accepted the story of Dorrie’s mother’s illness so they were able to resume normal life without any scandal or gossip.
They both made a determined effort to make a fresh start. Dorrie had an enviable capacity for closing her mind to anything she wished to forget and Michael, always extreme in his emotions, saw himself as the villain and Dorrie as an innocent victim and watched over her with loving care.
He took his uncle’s advice and told her more about the business and he was surprised at how quickly she grasped the details. He was even more surprised when she said after looking at some plans, ‘I think the kitchen should be bigger and the other rooms smaller. In these houses the woman would only have a daily help, if that, so she’d spend most of her time in the kitchen.’
Michael looked at her with respect and realised that there was a new maturity about Dorrie, as though she had passed through a crisis and had at last become a woman rather than a girl. Their relationship was on a different and firmer footing after this and Michael felt able to tell Dorrie what had happened to Mrs Rafferty.
He had been to see the padre again and had learned that the evidence he had taken there had justified a search of Mrs Rafferty’s house. They had found a large cache of her supplies and an amazing amount of money. Some of this she had admitted was the result of blackmail.
Her husband, newly promoted to sergeant major, was informed of his wife’s activities and also told that he was being transferred to a small unit in Scotland. He was furious at what was, in effect, demotion. As the padre told Michael, ‘The civilian police have not been informed. It was felt that it was an army matter and her husband’s anger and the move to Scotland would be sufficient punishment for Mrs Rafferty.’
‘It all seems like another world,’ was Dorrie’s only response.
Mrs Furlong, absorbed in her own health, knew nothing of the visit to Liverpool and Dorrie said nothing of it in her letters. She had not written to Anna or received any letters from her and she and Michael made no plans to visit Liverpool.
Chapter Twenty-Five
When the cab had driven away with the O’Briens and Dorrie Anna and James went into the garden and sat on a secluded seat. Anna’s face was white and she was obviously upset but James put his arms around her and held her close.
‘Don’t let it distress you, love,’ he said tenderly. ‘She’s ill. No one in their right mind would behave like that. Perhaps she’s inherited it from your mother.’
‘My mother!’ Anna said bitterly. ‘I feel dirty, James,’ she wept. ‘The thought of them discussing our most private affairs. I hate it.’
‘Never mind,’ he soothed her. ‘We know they’re wrong and that’s all that matters.’
‘But she’s right, not about the housekeeper part, but she is your real love,’ Anna said. ‘Ours is just a – a friendly marriage.’
‘Not as far as I’m concerned,’ James said. ‘Oh, Anna, surely you’ve realised that it’s you I love. When I’ve seen Dorrie I’ve only been concerned in case you were hurt. She means nothing to me.’
He bent his head and kissed her long and passionately and Anna responded as ardently. ‘And I love you, James,’ she murmured. They kissed again, and when they drew apart Anna said, ‘I was feeling so hurt and miserable and now I feel so happy. I was so sure that you still loved Dorrie. And so was she, evidently,’ she added.
‘God Almighty, I never got such a shock in my life.’ James exclaimed. ‘But I’m sure it wasn’t really anything to do with me personally. I think she’d had a row with Michael and rushed off to Liverpool, then realised she didn’t want to go to your mother and she’d lost touch with all her old admirers. Then she thought, James Hargreaves, I know where he is, and by that time she was in such a state she came storming up here.’
Anna shook her head, smiling now. ‘I don’t think that was it but I wish I’d known how you felt about her.’
‘I never felt I could speak about it because I thought you were still in love with Eugene and I had to keep my side of our arrangement. I was fairly sure you’d got over him when you spoke like that about that gardener but then I didn’t know how to broach the subject of Dorrie,’ James said.
Anna smiled. ‘We’ve both been very foolish, pussyfooting around afraid to mention Eugene or Dorrie in case we upset each other,’ she said.
James kissed her again. ‘Isn’t that proof that we loved one another from the start but we were too blind to see it?’ he said. ‘I think Dr O’Brien was right. We both needed our fantasies while we were so unhappy but after we married, at least as far as I was concerned, I was too happy to need them.’
‘And so was I,’ Anna said. ‘I was worried because I couldn’t remember Eugene’s face or feel anything when I thought of him. I suppose I was ashamed that I tipped him overboard so quickly, as though I was very fickle.’
‘You won’t be fickle with me, will you?’ James asked and they kissed again.
‘I’ll never forgive Mama or Dorrie though,’ Anna said. ‘Prying into our affairs and discussing us.’
‘Neither will I,’ James said. ‘All that shunting my wardrobe back and forth and all for nothing.’
Anna laughed, as he had intended, and said fondly, ‘Oh, James, you are a fool.’
‘I know,’ he said, ‘but if I put it in your room again can it stay there?’ Anna blushed and turned to kiss him, which was answer enough. They sat for a while, Anna’s head on his shoulder and their arms around each other, savouring the bliss of having all barriers removed and being able to be truly husband and wife.
The May day had been sunny and pleasant but as the sun sank a cool wind sprang up and after another lingering kiss they went back into the house.
Julia came back to the kitchen from Frances’s room. ‘I didn’t know what to do about the meal so I’m after putting a hotpot in the oven,’ she said. ‘It’ll be nearly ready now.’
‘That’s a good idea, Julia,’ Anna said. ‘What an afternoon. We never know what’ll happen next, do we?’
‘We don’t,’ agreed Julia, ‘but she’ll be grand with the doctor and Mrs O’Brien, poor lady.’
Anna went to see Frances, who was now completely bedridden. ‘Is the pain bad?’ she asked but Frances told her that Julia had given her her medicine and she was fine.
‘Rosa’s medicine?’ Anna asked but made no comment when Frances nodded.
‘I could hear all the coming and going,’ s
he said. ‘Julia said your sister was having a brainstorm. What happened to her?’
‘She quarrelled with her husband and took off for Liverpool, then realised she couldn’t upset Mama, so she came here. Dr and Mrs O’Brien have taken her to their house. Her husband is the doctor’s nephew, after all.’
‘And is he coming after her?’ Frances said.
‘Yes. He’ll be upset about her travelling all this way on her own. She was in a state when she got here but Dr O’Brien knew what to do.’
‘Good job she came here,’ Frances said. ‘If she’d gone to your ma he’d have had two of them on his hands.’
‘We’ll keep quiet about it, Frances. Better if Mama doesn’t know she’s even been,’ Anna said and Frances agreed.
Anna left her a little later, knowing that she had given the sick woman plenty to mull over during her pain-filled hours.
After their meal, Anna and James sat close together on a sofa, talking endlessly about the occasions when they had avoided comments about Dorrie or Eugene and realising how mistaken they had been. ‘It’s a wonder we aren’t still doing it, even after what happened today,’ Anna said. ‘You know, pretending it hadn’t happened and talking about the price of fish.’
They laughed heartily, then James said, ‘We’ve wasted an awful lot of time just being afraid to hurt each other but we’ve always been good friends, haven’t we?’
‘Yes, and these have been happy years for me, James,’ Anna said. ‘We said when we married that we liked and respected each other and that has just grown stronger with me. It’s a good foundation for marriage, isn’t it?’
‘I agree, love, but I think almost right away it was more than that for me. I think I loved you from the beginning, although I didn’t realise it, or didn’t want to because of those barmy ideas of romance.’
‘It was the same for me,’ Anna said. ‘What fools we were, James.’
‘I know, but never mind, we know now,’ he said, kissing her fervently. Later, when they went to bed, it seemed quite natural for James to follow Anna into her bedroom, then as they lay in bed she went as naturally into his arms. The tide of passion long denied rose fiercely in both of them and when it was over and they lay spent and happy Anna said wonderingly, ‘I thought I wouldn’t know what to do, but it was so easy.’