Secrets of My Hollywood Life #5: Broadway Lights

by Jen Calonita

  "This has been the best day," I tell Austin. "Thank you for thinking of it." Of course, being a total cheeseball, as I say the words, I start to get teary.

  "Burke." Austin puts down his fork and takes my hand. "What's the matter?"

  "Nothing," I choke, and try to fix my makeup with my free hand before someone sees and snaps my picture. I can see the headline now: "Kaitlin Burke and boyfriend break up at the Happiest Place on Earth." I look into Austin's eyes, which seem darker in the softly lit restaurant. "I know I'm being ridiculous. We've talked about this a dozen times! We'll be fine. I'm just going to miss you. A lot."

  "I'm going to miss you too." Austin squeezes my hand tightly. "A lot."

  I smile. "Maybe it will be good for us," I tell him. Look at Will Turner and Elizabeth in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. After he gets shackled to Flying Dutchman duty, he only gets to leave the ship once every ten years, and still, Elizabeth is waiting for him ten years later with a kid in tow. Sure, I hated the third film after they sort of killed off Will, but waiting for your true love is romantic, especially now that it applies to me. "And it's only a few months."

  But what if after those few months, Austin doesn't feel the same way about us anymore? What if absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder?

  "We'll talk every day," Austin insists. "We can Skype too. Just promise me one thing."

  "Anything," I swear.

  Austin is smiling, but he looks sort of grave too. "I don't want to pick up every tabloid there is and find pictures of you all over the city with that guy."

  That guy is Dylan Koster. My costar in the play. He and Austin met when Dylan and Emma Price flew out to test with me. Austin thought Dylan was into me, but I didn't see it.

  I give him a look. "You have nothing to worry about. He's my costar, not my New York City tour guide."

  Austin grins. "Good. Then we have nothing to worry about. It's only a few months," he reminds me for the umpteenth time. "And like we were saying, this is a good dry run for college. Who knows where we'll both be next year."

  I move the remains of my steak around with my fork. "Absolutely." Does he have to bring up next year already? I'm having a tough enough time with this year.

  "Here you go." The waitress--excuse me, cast member--brings us our dessert. We both ordered crème brûlée. "I know you asked for the check, but there is no charge," she says. "Your cast member took care of everything. When you're done with dessert, head over to Main Street. You have fifteen minutes before the fireworks."

  As I thank her and sign an autograph for her daughter, Austin figures out a tip. Then I scarf down dessert. I do not want to miss the fireworks. That's the most romantic part of the day! Austin must feel the same way, because he eats his dessert in three minutes flat, and then we spring up from the table. Rodney, who has been eating at the table behind us, leads the way and keeps autograph seekers at bay. (I've signed happily all day, but right now I have somewhere I need to be!) We make it to the spot on Main Street that our VIP tour guide told us about just as the park lights begin to dim and the music starts. Rodney seems to disappear, even though I know he's probably close by, and I feel Austin wrap his arms around my waist just as the first firework explodes over the cloudless night sky.

  "When you get back August twentieth, let's promise we'll come back here and do this all again," Austin whispers in my ear. "We'll celebrate our perfect summers and our reunion in the fall."

  I turn around. "August twentieth? You remember the exact date?" I ask, touched.

  Austin blushes. "Of course. I've said it a hundred times, but I'm going to say it once more: I'm really going to miss you, Burke."

  "I'm going to miss you too," I tell him, but this time I don't choke up. I don't know if it's the music crescendo, the voice of Jiminy Cricket over the loudspeaker, or just being in Disneyland, where everything is always perfect, but suddenly I feel okay. I really do believe Austin and I will be fine.

  Austin smiles at me. "So it's a date, then?"

  "It's already on my mental calendar." I point to my head and almost poke myself in the eye.

  Satisfied, Austin leans in for a kiss. I know we're being watched. I've been hearing parkgoers around us whisper things like, "I think that's the girl from Family Affair," or "Isn't that Kaitlin Burke?" They're taking pictures too. But I tune them out. The only one I'm focused on is Austin. I close my eyes as Austin kisses me, and I can hear Rodney.

  "There's nothing to see here, folks," he says gruffly. "You can move along."

  Let them snap away, I want to say. But my mouth is too busy to actually say that. I'm making the most of my last few minutes with my boyfriend.

  Monday, June 1

  NOTE TO SELF:

  Flight to NYC: 11:15 AM tomorrow.

  HOLLYWOOD NATION ................

  SKAT* and LAVA* Face Off!

  * (Our new nicknames for Sky Mackenzie and Kaitlin Burke (SKAT) and Lauren Cobb and Ava Hayden (LAVA)

  Includes an exclusive interview with Kaitlin Burke and Sky Mackenzie! by Penny Rosebud

  Kaitlin Burke can't catch a break. Just when it looked like the paparazzi princess had finally handed over her crown, a melee at the premiere of her new flick, Pretty Young Assassins, puts her back on the hot seat. According to several witnesses, Kaitlin Burke and Sky Mackenzie, Kaitlin's Family Affair and PYA costar, had a meltdown when Lauren Cobb and Ava Hayden turned up at their party. "Ava and Lauren started trading insults with Kaitlin and Sky," says a witness. "Whatever they said must have really ticked off Kaitlin and Sky because the girls had Lauren and Ava tossed out."

  Kaitlin, Lauren, and Ava were tight up until a few months ago when Kaitlin's new hard-partying ways caught up with her and landed her at Cedars Sinai. The hospital stay came on the heels of Kaitlin's Sure photo shoot where LAVA showed up and allowed Ava's pooch to pee on a priceless dress. Kaitlin has since admitted the difficult times caused her to have panic attacks.

  Crashing is certainly LAVA's style, and they did the same at the PYA premiere. "Everyone knows that Kaitlin had a falling out with Lauren and Ava," says an event planner. "The girls were not on the guest list. They must have wormed their way inside. Those two would show up at the opening of an envelope. As soon as the studio saw what was happening, they wanted the girls out of there, but Sky took care of that first."

  Yes, Sky, Kaitlin's onetime nemesis, now appears to be her savior. Sky knows what it's like to be on LAVA's "not" list. She had her own parting with the pair a year earlier, when the two dropped Sky like a hot potato. "It was interesting seeing Sky stick up for Kaitlin, but then again, those two seem sort of friendly these days," says someone who was on the scene. SKAT are so chummy that they even took time out of their partying to shoot a YouTube clip for Tom Pullman, their FA producer. (He reportedly sent a cameraman to the affair to get the girls to do a final plug for their beloved TV show.)

  The clip was a hit--getting over two million hits--thanks to the jokey nature of the pair, who tease each other throughout. Maybe that's why LAVA decided that spoofing the clip was the easiest way to get back at SKAT for having them kicked out of the PYA premiere. Their own YouTube clip, mocking Sky and Kaitlin, began airing yesterday. Wearing wigs and fake teeth, the two make fun of FA and its stars. Their clip has been viewed so much that the pair promise future videos will begin airing right away.

  "I think it's pitiful that a ridiculous video like theirs would get this much attention," says Sky, who phoned us to chat about the nasty news. "But it just goes to show you how badly some people are starved for attention. If the best job they can get is an unpaid YouTube clip, then let them have it."

  Will Sky and Kaitlin retaliate? Both girls say no--for now. "When there are so many more important issues at stake in the world, I'm sorry something like this is taking up so much of our nation's attention," says Kaitlin. Does she agree the clip is over-the-top rude? "I think it was unnecessary," says Kaitlin, "but it's a free country. If making a clip like that makes them happy
, then that's their prerogative. I've got more important things to think about--like starting my play."

  Kaitlin is currently in New York rehearsing for her Broadway debut in the teen drama Meeting of the Minds. Sky has filmed a pilot about a group of teens living in Alaska that is tentatively titled I Heart Snow. The show begins filming in Vancouver this summer. On Lauren and Ava's agenda? More videos. "The girls know that a fight with stars as big as Kaitlin and Sky is a way to keep themselves in the public eye," says a source. "They're going to milk this incident as much as they can."

  It sure seems that way. "We're so pleased that people like what we've been doing," said Ava when asked for comment at the Verizon Wireless party at Shelter where she was picking up three new phones. ("Calou, my dog, has his own line.") "We love making our fans happy."

  THree: Welcome to New York

  "Is that the last of them?" I wipe the sweat from my brow and pull my long blond hair off my neck. Matty and I have been unpacking boxes for the last three days and if I never see another piece of packing popcorn it will be too soon.

  He makes a face and fans himself with one of my New York guidebooks. "I think there are a few more in the hall."

  "How can that be?" I say, my voice jumping an octave. "Are they Liz's?" I told her I'd unpack her stuff, since she has finals and doesn't arrive for three more weeks, but I'm already regretting that decision. Thank God this apartment we rented came furnished, or we would have had even more stuff to unload and put together. As it is I feel like my whole life is in boxes. Clothes, pictures (of me and Austin, of course, plus FA cast pics and shots of Liz and me on vacation), my camera equipment, Austin's lacrosse jersey (which is my new pajama top--I'm so glad he agreed to part with one! I may never give it back), my driver's ed stuff (because I fully plan on finally going for my license when I get home), my MacBookPro, iPod, Bose docking station... you name it, I've brought it with me. Now I'm kind of wishing I'd packed lighter.

  "They're yours," Matty yells from the hall. "Do you even have room for this stuff?"

  I look around my new room. It's smaller than my one at home, but not as tiny as I thought it would be. One wall is exposed bricks, which is very cool, but my favorite thing is my almost floor-to-ceiling window. We're on the tenth floor, so I have a view of some other rooftops, a Joe's Pizza, a movie theater, and (thankfully) a lot of blue sky, which is one thing I'm already missing about Los Angeles. I have to purposely look up to see what the weather is truly like here--even the smaller buildings are at least six stories high and squished together. I also have to take a cab to find a large patch of grass. Every inch of real estate is used in New York, and greenery is hard to come by.

  On the upside, city living is posher than I would have imagined. Every time I've traveled to New York, my hotel room has been small, so I figured an apartment would be the same, but the place Mom and Dad rented is pretty spacious. After much family deliberating, we chose to sublet (new term for me!) an apartment in Tribeca that has a doorman and private security, its own indoor pool, a gym, and a laundry room. Since our housekeeper, Anita, stayed back in Los Angeles to take care of Casa Burke, Mom hired a cleaning service and is having a personal chef come in a few nights a week to cook (Mom's specialty on either coast is still take-out). The apartment is set up railroad style. There are two floors and the rooms go from front to back. In the front is the living room; behind it is the decent-sized kitchen and eat-in dining room, and behind that is a rooftop patio. The floor above it has four bedrooms connected by a narrow hallway--Mom's and Dad's, Matty's, Nadine's, and mine and Liz's. (Rodney is actually staying at his brother's place uptown, which worked out well.) From what I can tell, the location of our place is perfect. It's only a ten-minute--twenty with traffic--ride to the theater, and just a long walk to the West Village, which has the best shopping and is home to my beloved Magnolia Bakery (they make the most amazingly sinful cupcakes in the world).

  "Kate-Kate!" Mom flies into my room carrying her datebook and her BlackBerry. Her Bluetooth is on her diamond-studded ear. "I was just wondering if your calendar was open on June eighteenth for a private Chanel dinner at MoMA."

  I've already decided that the downside to an apartment in Manhattan is how close in proximity Mom is to me at any given moment. Our house in Los Angeles is so big that I can easily move from room to room without her catching me. But here, there are not a lot of places to hide. I glance at Matty who is decked out in moving clothes like me--cargos and a bleach-stained William Rast (JT's line!) T-shirt--though I'm pretty sure the bleach was intentional on JT's part. "Um..." I grab a box that Matty is carrying into the room and put it on my bed to start unpacking it. Anything to avoid Mom.

  Mom sighs loudly. "You promised you'd do some events before the show starts! You only have a few weeks before you're shackled to that stage."

  "Gee, Mom, shackled?" Matty teases. He pulls a teddy bear Austin won me on the Santa Monica Pier out of the box, and his green eyes jump playfully. "She's not in prison. She wants to do the play, remember?"

  "Yes, yes." Mom sounds distracted. I can't believe that even on a day when we're all just unpacking her foundation is flawless, let alone that she put any on. Mom's definitely planning to stay in, though--she's wearing one of her old PB&J sweatsuits, which according to her are so three seasons ago. If that's so, then why does she still have them?

  "I'm just trying to squeeze some social obligations in before she starts," Mom tells Matty. "Now, I spoke to Nancy Walsh--you know her, dear, she's the wife of Tom Walsh, the real estate mogul."

  "Not exactly." I wink at Matty, and he tries not to laugh.

  Mom keeps talking. "She's very big on the social scene and she's been kind enough to coach me on the season's must-do events, which reminds me that I forgot to tell you the most divine news." She claps her hands excitedly, and her BlackBerry tumbles onto the hardwood floor. She scoops down and picks it up, her permanent French manicure scraping on the varnish. "I'm going to be one of the new chairs of her Darling Daisies committee!"

  Matty and I look at each other. What the heck are the Darling Daisies?

  Mom crosses her arms impatiently, zipping her PB&J track top up and down menacingly. I can see she's wearing a Juicy tank underneath, despite the fact that Matty and I are always teasing her that she's too old to wear Juicy. "The Darling Daisies committee raises money to plant flowers around New York City to beautify the landscape," she says, as if this is something we should already know. "Haven't you noticed the sweet saplings that are springing up everywhere? We're doing the same with flowers."

  I haven't noticed the saplings, but that could be because I've been too excited about other cool living-in-New-York things. Like the fact that I can walk to Starbucks for a Strawberries and Cream Frappuchino rather than wait for Rodney to drive me. And how there is a deli every five feet in the city, which means I can run down and pick up Fruit Loops for breakfast without Mom knowing. ("It's pure sugar, Kaitlin! You'll bloat.")

  "The Darling Daisies sound life-changing, Mom," Matty mocks her, and runs a hand through his short dirty blond hair.

  "Anyway, Kate-Kate, with that new job of yours you won't be able to attend many of the Daisies fund-raisers, but we can squeeze in a few now and, of course, you'll be able to make a few events in the Hamptons on weekends." Mom glares at me, raising her recently threaded right eyebrow thoughtfully.

  "I have matinees and evening performances, Mom," I remind her, wiping my hands on my little jean cutoffs (It's not even worth telling you the designer, since I've had them since before they were cool).

  "Not every day! And you're off on Monday." Mom isn't going to give up easily, so I decide it's best to go back to unpacking. I pull my framed Carrie Fisher (aka Princess Leia) autograph out of the box. Why exactly did I think I needed this in New York?

  "We're going to do some lovely dinners," Mom gushes. "There are a few charity events coming up, a Polo match in the Hamptons that sounds to die for, and, of course, the Ivory Party."

 
"You mean the White Party," I correct her.

  "This year it's all about the Ivory Party." Mom's long blond hair is styled just like mine. ("We look like sisters!" she always tells people.) "Nancy says it's going to be better than the White Party in every way."

  Matty looks up from the Star Wars alarm clock he's just unpacked for me. "Didn't Diddy's White Party move to Los Angeles anyway?"

  Mom rolls her eyes. "Figures he'd move it to Los Angeles when all the best people are in New York for the summer."

  "Can I go, Mom?" Matty pleads.

  "Of course, sweetie." She puckers her lips slightly at him, like he is still five. "It's been much easier booking your schedule, since you don't have anything till July. Nancy said her daughter is very excited for your show, by the way."

  "I'm hearing that a lot," Matty says, trying to sound modest even though he's not. His eyebrows raise hopefully. "Is she a fan of mine?"

  Mom hesitates, looking away with the green eyes we got from her. "No, but she did say how much she loves the cast as a whole. Anyway, back to the Chanel dinner--"

  "I'll go," I say, hoping it will get Mom off my case. No one says no to a Chanel event. "Just leave me a list of things you want me to go to, and I'll star the ones I like, okay?"

  This seems to make her happy, because she takes a call about some costume gala this weekend and leaves the room just as Nadine pops in. "You done yet?" she asks, looking around at the room's modern furnishings. The previous owner's taste is different from mine--stark, minimalist, with modern chairs and plastic headboards on the bed. It makes me feel like I'm in a twisted version of Alice in Wonderland. I warmed the room up a bit by bringing my Ralph Lauren comforter from home, some stuffed animals, and loads of personal touches.