Derek chuckled as he dropped his chin toward his chest. “You’re right. I never know what’s right or what’s wrong or what to do next or what to feel.” He buzzed his lips as he continued. “And I guess I shouldn’t blame that idiot kid for being no better than me. Heck, he came all the way out here to give Emma the respect of speaking to her in person. On Christmas Eve, no less.”
Jennifer reached out and gripped Derek’s elbow. The contact made him jump slightly. Still, they were like teenagers, unsure of where the boundaries were.
“If he wants forgiveness, and if Emma decides to give it to him, I think it’s best to respect that,” Jennifer advised him, knowing too well how hard this was for him.
Derek nodded contemplatively. Finally, he said, “I know her mother would have said the same thing. What is it about you, women? Why did you all get the brains and the beauty and the understanding of the universe, while us men just run around like chickens with our heads cut off?”
Outside, Emma wrapped her arms around Will as his shoulders shook with tears. Jennifer closed the gap between herself and Derek. She placed a hand across his cheek and gazed into his eyes. They were all open wounds of sadness and fear; there was no way to go forward except all together.
“Can I kiss you?” Derek asked softly.
“Yes, you silly man. Of course,” Jennifer smiled at him.
She found the warmth of his lips. She closed her eyes as his lips parted over hers and his hand found the crook of her back and their hearts beat as one. Above them, the speaker shifted to a much more romantic Christmas song — “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”
Their kiss only broke when the bells jangled as the door opened. Will and Emma stood in one another’s arms, their grins a million dollars each. Emma’s eyes twinkled as she said, “Oh, finally,” to the both of them, then lifted her hand up to reveal the engagement ring, back in-place on her finger.
“Merry Christmas, everyone,” Will said. “I made the biggest mistake of my life a few weeks back and realized just how stupid I was by letting this beautiful girl go. And now, apparently, I’m the luckiest.”
Derek turned his eyes toward Jennifer again. “Me, too,” he said.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The five Sisters of Edgartown sat before the splendor of the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. It was just after eleven-thirty, and the rest of the guests would be arriving soon. This was tradition: that they gather with their coffees and their stories and their own personal laughter before their children and spouses joined. Over the years, the view had changed a great deal. Babies had become toddlers, who’d suddenly become teenagers and adults. Parents had aged and grown much older. Their styles had shifted; their hopes had found new seasons. Their love for one another, however, had only grown.
“I can’t wait to meet this guy,” Olivia said of Derek. “He sounds incredible.”
“He really is,” Jennifer murmured. A blush flashed across her cheeks. “I feel so giddy. And you’ll love his daughter, too. She’s a dream.”
“And you always wanted a daughter, Jen,” Camilla said with a smile.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves!” Jennifer laughed.
Mila ruffled her curls and tilted her head as she stared longingly at the tree. “I can’t believe it. Another Christmas is here. So many changes. So many different stories.”
Everyone heard it in her words: how much she so deeply missed her husband, Peter. They all had ghosts during the holiday season. There was always a heaviness to it, even alongside the laughter and joy.
They exchanged presents. There was jewelry, lotion and art supplies and books, both self-help and fiction. Mila gifted them all another extensive face-cream line, and Camilla gave everyone vitamins to support their “over-forty women’s health.” They teased one another, giggled about the aging process, and gradually shifted from coffee to wine.
Jennifer rose just before the guests began to arrive. She walked toward her mother’s bedroom, where, yet again, she heard her mother and father in the midst of another fit of laughter. She rapped at the door, and they hurriedly called, “One second!” as though they’d been in the middle of something nobody else was allowed to see. Jennifer laughed inwardly until they gave the all-clear.
Inside, she found them all cozy and happy, her father’s arm wrapped around her mother’s shoulder as they watched the tiny television Nick had connected for them. They both drank coffee and nibbled at a platter of cookies.
“I don’t know who told you kids that, you could have Christmas cookies for breakfast,” Jennifer teased them. Her heart jumped into her throat with the sight of it.
Was it possible that her mother and father had found love for one another again?
“Lay off, Mom,” her dad said with a laugh — the kind of laugh she hadn’t heard from him in years.
“I think people are about to arrive. We should start getting everything set up in the living room,” Jennifer said.
“Wonderful. It smells great out there, honey.” Her mother smiled and looked happier than ever.
“I have everything cooking,” Jennifer said. “The turkey will be ready around one, along with the potatoes, stuffing and the rolls. The pies are all laid out, along with the cookies, and the girls made about seven too many types of salad. We’ve also got clam chowder cooking up. I don’t think we’ll go hungry.”
“No. I think we’ll make it through.” Her mother laughed.
John wheeled his wife out into the living room and set himself up beside her, just as Nicholas and Stacy arrived, their arms overloaded with gifts. Behind them came Mila’s twins, Zane and Isabelle, Olivia’s daughter, Chelsea, and Camilla’s daughter, Andrea. Jennifer and the other sisters gave out hugs as quickly as they could, while Nick set himself up by the speaker system to play the first round of Christmas songs.
Jennifer rushed into the kitchen to check on the turkey, only to discover Camilla there with a glass of wine in-hand and her eyes filled with tears. As Jennifer opened the oven, she furrowed her brow and said, “Are you okay, hon?” She assumed that this was just a bit of holiday malaise. Nothing more.
But Camilla blinked several times and whispered, “I just need you to know that Jonathon probably isn’t going to make it today.”
Jennifer’s heart dropped. Camilla was the only one amongst them who remained married to her husband.
“What happened?” Jennifer breathed.
Camilla flung herself forward and crumpled up against Jennifer’s shoulder. Jennifer hurriedly placed the oven door back in position and held her tightly against her. “Shhh,” she whispered, as though that would help at all. “Whatever happened, we can get through this. I promise you. We have your back. We always do.”
Throughout the next hours, Jennifer tried her best to juggle all Christmas festivities. She laughed with her son, hugged her mother, gossiped with her girlfriend's mothers and their fathers, too. All the while, she tried to keep an eye on Camilla, who struggled to keep it together. Only her daughter, Andrea, seemed to be “in the know” about what had happened. She held her mother’s hand on the couch throughout the gift-giving and whispered in her ear several times.
The girls caught on pretty quickly. There were many times that they met in the kitchen to discuss what to do next. “Let’s not put any more pressure on her than needs to be,” Jennifer whispered to Amelia as she sliced through a pie. “She wouldn’t want us to put too much attention on her. Not on Christmas.”
MID-WAY THROUGH THE afternoon, Derek, Emma, and Will arrived. They’d had a blissful morning at home together — with Will showering Emma and Derek with gifts. He was happy and garrulous and very, very grateful to be back with the Thatchers. It was clear that Will thanked his lucky stars Emma had taken him back. Derek was grateful for that.
The Conrad house was in full-throttle Christmas-mode. The house was stuffed to the gills with people; Christmas music rang out from the speaker system; plates were piled high with turkey, potatoes, bread and pies.
Derek, Emma, and Will laced through the crowd, feeling vaguely out of place. Derek hunted for Jennifer to no avail.
Will and Emma excused themselves for the food table, just as Derek’s eyes connected with John Conrad’s. His wife, Ariane, sat closely beside him but remained in conversation with an older woman beside her. John waved for Derek to come over. He did and tucked himself onto the couch beside the older man. He hadn’t seen him since their raucous night out at the bar. That night, in Derek’s mind, had changed everything. He’d revealed himself to this older man in ways he hadn’t thought possible.
He’d found a true soul mate in him, he thought.
“Derek,” John said. He studied his face for a long time. “My daughter tells me the two of you have struck up a friendship.”
Derek nodded. He wasn’t sure how to explain his feelings to this man, Jennifer’s father. He gave a slight shrug and said, “I have never met anyone like her before.” He hadn’t expected the words to fall out of his mouth, but, in saying them, he knew how true they were.
“My Jen is truly a warrior,” John said. His eyes seemed far away. “She’s my light in the darkness.”
He paused for a moment. He seemed to stew in words and thoughts and memories, none that Derek could fully fathom. Finally, he spoke again.
“I wanted to talk to you about something, Derek. And I’m so glad you’re here today, so I can do it.” He kept his eyes toward his lap, as though this amount of sober talk was too much for him. “I was on a pretty rough track when we met that night. I’d drank myself near to death many nights over the past year or so. It was only getting worse. I didn’t really want to live anymore. That’s difficult for me to say, but it’s true. But you told me things about yourself that made me look at my life a little bit differently. You lost your wife. I cannot fathom that, you know? Ariane has been in my world for most of my life. She’s been there for me through it all. We’ve had our ups and our serious downs, but through it all? She’s been a constant. I almost lost her. Heck, maybe I deserved to lose her. But I didn’t.”
The old man’s eyes welled up as he continued.
“I just need you to know that you gave me a lot to think about that night. I don’t know what I plan to do next, exactly. Maybe Alcoholics Anonymous. Maybe I’ll go this road alone. All I know is, I want to appreciate every moment, even the little things. It’s the little things you miss the most.”
Derek’s heart felt so heavy. He had no idea what to say. He wanted to translate how much it meant that John wanted to say this to him.
Finally, he murmured, “I can’t really say how grateful I am to have met you, John. To know you and to know Jennifer and to be here on this island, it’s a blessing I didn’t think I deserved.”
“We all deserve an infinite amount of love, maybe,” John said. “The limit of love on this island doesn’t exist. I know that for certain. And you’re a part of that now.”
That moment, Jennifer appeared in the doorway of the living room. Her eyes turned from her mother in the wheelchair, to her father, and then finally, to Derek. She looked as though she’d been crying — although Derek couldn’t decide if they’d been happy or sad tears. He supposed on Christmas, it all kind of blended together.
He jumped to his feet. In seconds, he appeared before her. His tongue felt inarticulate and sloppy as he said, “I just need you to know how grateful I am for you. I don’t know what will happen next. But I don’t want to be anywhere else but right here with you right now.”
Jennifer fell against him. Her head fit so snugly against Derek’s chest as his hand pressed over her beautiful ginger hair and held her tightly. The world was tumultuous. People hurt people. People—and sometimes the love they had to give—died away. All that was left for them to do was press forward, arm-in-arm, with all the love they could give in the moment. This was their imperfect Christmas blessing. And Martha’s Vineyard had given them everything they needed on this earth to survive.
Other Books by Katie
The Sunrise Cove Inn
Firefly Nights
August Sunsets
A Vineyard Thanksgiving
A Vineyard White Christmas
A Vineyard Vow
Secrets of Mackinac Island Series
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