She took a deep breath as relief flooded her.
“The backyard?” she asked.
“It might not have occurred to you, but your backyard is the size of a small park.”
He’d thought of it the other day, remembering that Kate had taken them “camping”
in the backyard when he was a kid. He’d had a great time pretending. “I thought this was the best way to break him in for camping. This way, if Cody decides he doesn’t like it, we’re only several yards away from home.”
Drawn by the sound of his voice, Cody had paused his video game and peered out of the family room. Curiosity shone in his eyes when he raised them toward Trent. Trent saw him immediately. “Cody, just the guy I wanted to see.” He beckoned the boy over and Cody crossed to him without hesitation. After two months of interacting with him, Cody no longer hung back. Every tiny step forward was a reason for rejoicing. “What do you say we camp out in your backyard tonight?”
Trent asked, draping his arm over the boy’s small shoulders. He painted an idyllic picture. “We can roast hot dogs and marshmallows and tell ghost stories.” Tilting his head back, Cody looked up at him. Trent could almost read his thoughts.
“Right, I’ll tell ghost stories, you listen. Sound good?” Cody nodded. “Well, then, let’s get started. Grab that knapsack,” he instructed, picking up the tent and the poles again.
Overcoming the urge to come to her son’s aid, she felt a little useless. “Anything I can do?” Laurel asked Trent.
“Just grab something and fall in,” Trent advised, leading the way to the rear of the house.
She picked up the sleeping bags, noting that there were only two, and hurried after Trent and her son. A little more than an hour later, at dusk, Laurel stood behind the sliding-glass door that led into the backyard. Some distance away, Cody and Trent were sitting on the ground, cross-legged, consuming the “dinner” that Trent had made for them in the barbecue pit.
She felt lonely.
To be fair, Trent had invited her to join them, but she’d demurred, thinking that it might be better if he and Cody had this time together. Like a father and son.
The words evoked bittersweet feelings. If she’d said yes to Trent all those years ago, then Cody might have been his. And if—
She stopped herself, suppressing a sigh. There was no point in going there. All the ifs in the world weren’t going to change a thing. The best she could hope for was to learn from her mistakes.
Had she learned anything these last two months?
Other than the fact that her heart rate sped up as she waited for Trent to come up her front walk. Yes, yes she had, Laurel decided. She’d learned that, under the right circumstances, lovemaking actually could be pleasurable. She hadn’t known that before, hadn’t believed it possible. She’d learned that she could relax and not be rigid as a stick when a man touched her. And she’d learned, too, that not all men were created equal. There were differences in the way they behaved in those private, intimate moments. Up until now, the men in her life had made her believe otherwise.
Her father had been a sick man who by rights should have spent the rest of his days in prison. But he’d managed to escape just before his trial, disappearing into thin air. Because her mother had insisted, Donald Valentine had been tried, convicted and given the maximum sentence for the crime in absentia. But even that verdict had brought her no real peace of mind. A part of Laurel lived in fear that someday her father would come back and hurt her again. And then there was Matt. Matt, who had an excellent reputation as a ladies’ man. Matt, who according to the two women she’d overheard talking at a fund-raiser once, was the kind of lover who could make “the earth move.” But rather than heal the injuries her father had left behind, Matt had made them bleed all over again. Until Trent had shown her otherwise, she’d hated the very thought of lovemaking. As far as she’d been concerned, the only good that had ever come out of the indignities she’d suffered was Cody.
Trent was patience personified, making no demands, moving so carefully, so slowly that time had stood still for her. If only…
It’s too late. You hurt him badly once. No, twice. She realized that she’d stuck the knife into his heart by turning down his proposal, and then she’d twisted it when she’d admitted she had married someone else.
She leaned her forehead against the cooling glass, watching Trent and Cody. Twilight made it more difficult to see. To his credit, Trent was still doing his best, working with the boy, doing far more than she’d ever expected. But there was only so much she could ask of him. His forgiveness wasn’t part of that. It wouldn’t be fair.
An ache built in her chest.
They looked good together, she thought. And while Cody still wasn’t talking, he was definitely relating, communicating in a fashion. Cody was venturing out of his cave. For now, she had to be content with that.
She saw Trent looking her way. Laurel straightened. Trent waved, then said something to Cody. The next moment, her son waved to her, as well. A bubble of happiness rose in her chest, temporarily crushing the ache.
Ever since the trip to Knott’s Berry Farm, almost a month ago, Trent had made a point of involving Cody in interactive events. Friday night had become a “family night”
of sorts. Trent would bring over board games for them to play and upbeat, cheerful family-oriented movies that they all watched together. And after the games or the movie was over, he would put Cody to bed and read to him. But first he always gave the boy the option of reading to him instead. Cody never did, but that didn’t keep Trent from making the suggestion the following week.
Laurel had started reading stories to Cody the other six nights when she put him to bed.
Friday night was also the night that Trent would stay over. It hadn’t initially begun that way, but after Cody had fallen asleep, within the dormant house things would heat up between them and they would wind up making love.
The first time that had happened, when he had begun to get up from her bed to go home, she’d placed her hand on his arm and quietly asked him to stay. Moved, unable to say no to her, Trent had slipped back into bed and made love to her as if he’d never done it before. After that, she hadn’t had to ask, he just remained, always taking care to be up, dressed and on his way home before Cody got up Saturday morning. Laurel sighed again. They were playing house, she thought. And, God help her, she was content to let things go on indefinitely, even though she knew in her heart that they really couldn’t. Someday, if Trent was successful, if he finally found a way to free Cody of his self-imposed prison, there would be no reason anymore for him to come over. No more reason to bring the books and the videos and the inventive games. His work would be done. She had no illusions about what was going on between her and Trent. Two people could be together without it ever culminating in marriage. It happened all the time. She’d missed her opportunity and that was that. And if marriage was what she wanted, she knew without being told that she would be sorely disappointed. It just wasn’t going to happen.
For now, she told herself, watching Trent remove the hot dog from Cody’s skewer and place it on a bun for the him, all she wanted was for this to go on a little while longer. Yes, she’d garnered more happiness than she’d ever thought possible, but she wanted just a little more time to savor Trent and his interaction with her son. Please, God, she silently prayed. Just a little longer.
Letting the drape fall back into place, Laurel quietly retreated from the window.
“So, how’s it going?”
Trent stopped typing and looked up from the keyboard. After all these years, a light Irish lilt still clung to Kate’s voice, hinting that she was in this country by choice, not by an accident of birth.
Kate stood in his doorway, smiling at him. The man he was merged with the child he’d been and both responded to her with infinite fondness.
“Okay,” he answered.
It was a vague answer aimed at life in general. He was consumed with trying t
o bring about another breakthrough for Cody. He abruptly remembered that he’d skipped the last couple of family get-togethers. Kate wasn’t the type to subtly attempt to make him feel guilty—which was exactly why he suddenly felt guilty. Kate asked for very little.
As if reading his thoughts, she settled the matter for him. “I’m talking about Laurel’s son.”
He raised his brow in surprise. “How did you know I was still treating him?”
Cody’s treatment was completely off the books. And then, as Kate smiled, he remembered that Kelsey was still tutoring the boy, although less and less since he was doing a great deal better at school now. “Oh. I forgot. Kelsey.” Kate gave a small, almost imperceptible nod of her head. “No offense, Mom, but Kelsey could talk the ears off an elephant.”
The comment made her laugh. “We all have our strengths, Trent.” And then, slowly, her smile grew serious. “Are you making any more progress with him?”
She knew the boy still wasn’t talking because Kelsey would have mentioned a breakthrough.
“Some,” he allowed, if you counted eye contact and smiles, he thought. “I’ve got him to the point where he’s making sounds.”
Getting through to a young patient could be frustrating, but Trent was a born natural with an endless supply of patience. “But not words,” Kate guessed.
“No, not words,” he confirmed. “I keep thinking I’m on the edge of a breakthrough and then—” he shrugged “—it doesn’t happen.”
“If anyone can do it, you can,” Kate told him, patting his shoulder. “And how are things with Laurel?”
It was a loaded question. If anyone else besides Kate had asked it, he would have been on his guard. “What kind of things?”
“Personal things.” She watched Trent lift his shoulders and then drop them in a wordless shrug. When he said nothing, she continued. “I’m not going to tell you the obvious, Trent—that you’re too close to this.” She saw him open his mouth and she clarified her point. “I’m not going to tell you the obvious because, to be honest, in your shoes, I would probably be doing the same thing. But I am worried about you getting hurt again,” she confided, lightly brushing her fingers along his hair. He smiled, thinking how lucky he and his brothers were that his father had met Kate.
“Is that the psychologist in you talking?”
“No, that’s the mother in me talking,” Kate acknowledged. “No matter what happens, I will always be your mother first.”
He knew that, but sometimes it was nice to hear her say it out loud. He patted her hand and nodded.
“I know.”
She needed to get back to her office. She had a patient coming in a few minutes.
“Listen, since you’re spending more and more time with them in your off-hours, why don’t the three of you come over for dinner this Sunday?”
He was afraid that would be too confining for Laurel. He tried his best not to make strides with just Cody, but with her as well. Yes, they were making love, something that hadn’t happened in college, but a part of him kept expecting her to take off again if he made the wrong move. It was like trying to tame a wild doe that had seen more than her share of hunters. He had to be alert.
“We’re not a set, Kate.”
Kate caught the change immediately. He had called her Kate, not Mom. “I didn’t say you were,” she replied easily. “If you recall, when you lived at home, I used to invite your friends over.”
Yes, she did. And there had been times, when his brothers and Kelsey all brought people over, that the table had become a mob scene. Until Kate had taken charge. She’d always had a way about her that would make anyone listen to her.
Amusement erased his frown. “Is that what you’re doing? Inviting my friends?”
She eyed him for a long moment. “I’m doing whatever it takes to make my son realize that he’s not alone in this. That we support him no matter what he does—or whatever happens.”
He remembered how, when Laurel had turned him down and then switched colleges, in effect disappearing out of his life, he’d felt as if he were coming apart. All the abandonment issues he’d suffered when his mother had died in the plane accident had surfaced again with a vengeance. For a while, no one could talk to him, no one could get through. Not his father, not his brothers. Not Kelsey.
Only Kate.
Just like the first time, it was Kate who had made a small hole in the wall of his prison, and then another, and another until the barriers came down.
“I know that, Mom. And I appreciate it, but there’s nothing to worry about. Really.”
“Good,” she responded cheerfully. Worry was a mother’s prerogative. But she couldn’t live his life for him, couldn’t spin a barrier of Bubble Wrap around him to keep him safe. That wouldn’t be fair. “But a little reinforcement can’t hurt.”
Rounding his desk, she leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “Now, if you don’t mind, I need you to cover Bailey’s four-o’clock patient for me.”
Bailey Anderson had been with the firm a year longer than he had. He was an amiable enough man, but they rarely socialized on or off the job. “Where’s Bailey?”
“I had to send him home,” Kate told him. “I guess the walls are thicker than I thought. He’s been sneezing all morning long. He’s a walking case of the flu.” Her eyes searched his face. “Can you do it? I already checked your schedule and you’re free. Lucas isn’t,” she added, mentioning the other psychologist. “I realize that it’s Friday, but I’d really take this as a favor. I’d do it myself, but I have a family consult.”
No, he thought, he wasn’t free, even though there was no name written in his schedule for four o’clock. It was Friday and he purposely didn’t see patients after three. That way he could beat out the Friday homeward-bound traffic in order to see Laurel and Cody.
But Kate rarely asked him for a favor and he hated saying no to her. So after a beat he nodded.
“Sure, I can take over in a pinch. Just tell Rita to send the patient over to my office when he gets here. It is a he, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “It’s a he. And I’ve already told Rita that you’re taking over.” She placed a folder on his desk. “I thought you might like to glance through this before he comes in.”
He looked at her, bemused. “I take it you assumed I’d say yes?”
Kate smiled. She paused to cup his cheek affectionately before leaving. “You were always a very good kid.”
A string of ex-nannies somewhere had a very different opinion of him, as well as his brothers. “Even when I almost toppled the mannequin onto that saleswoman in Sears?”
He referred to one of a string of misadventures that had taken place when she had first come to take care of him and his brothers. She’d barely had time to push the woman out of harm’s way. Trent had been very contrite and had expected to be punished. She’d done neither, which had impressed him so much he had tried his level best to be good. Or as good as someone filled with mischief could be.
“Even then,” she assured him. Just before walking out the door, she said, “Don’t forget to call Laurel to tell her you’ll be late.”
Trent’s mouth dropped open. “How did you…?”
She didn’t bother turning around as she answered the half-formed question. “I’m your mother. I know everything.”
Though he didn’t see her face, he knew she was grinning. He also knew that she was right.
Chapter Thirteen
Progress with Cody had come to a standstill. And it bothered Trent to no end. Granted, they hadn’t slid backward in the last three weeks, which was rewarding in itself.
But he wanted more.
Because of Kate, Trent had gone into his chosen profession with no illusions. He wasn’t expecting earth-shaking breakthroughs from the prescribed therapy time. He knew that working with children in this field required even more patience than usual, that progress was made in tiny increments spread out over the sands of time. But a part of him was his f
ather’s son. A part of him was goal oriented, steadily keeping his eye on the prize, and in this case the prize was the formation of a word, any word that would voluntarily emerge from the boy’s lips. Cody seemed happier than when he’d begun this process. But still…
It drove him crazy.
If he had to be honest, Trent knew he was too close. That was why he was doing it off the books. Because he wanted to help and because he cared. He silently argued that because he cared, he’d been allotted an extra dose of patience another psychologist might be lacking. But now that argument wore thin. Everything was frozen in its present state with no sign of further movement. Cody made eye contact. Cody responded. Cody even smiled. He rarely crashed the video games he played. But despite all that, Cody was still in prison, still behind a glass wall, and Trent was still stumped as to why the boy had subconsciously incarcerated himself.
Trent kept coming back to his theory that the key was the accident. Trying to work in parallel, he delved back into his own experience, his own feelings that had erupted when his mother had died.
It was still a painful experience for him despite the years that had passed. But he knew he had to go through those feelings. It might be the only way to find some overlooked avenue that he could use to reach Cody, an avenue that Laurel’s son was still on.
He voiced his thoughts out loud as he and Kate sat in his office, sharing a take-out lunch.
His stepmother listened quietly, treating him like a colleague rather than her son. When he finished, she made a suggestion that she knew he would rather not hear. But she would be doing him a disservice if she didn’t at least put it out there.
“Maybe you should turn over the case to someone else, Trent. Someone who might be more impartial. A fresh set of eyes.”
Trent shook his head. “I can’t,” he protested with feeling. “I can’t just quit.”
“It isn’t quitting,” she pointed out. “It’s using good judgment. If he wasn’t Laurel’s son and you’d hit this impasse…” She deliberately allowed her voice to trail off, leaving it up to him to fill in what was left unsaid.
[Kate's Boys 03] - Mistletoe and Miracles Page 12