by CJ Azevedo
Rachel closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around my neck and whispers across my mouth before I can push her back. “Great fight tonight, baby,” she coos and I see Ava stalk away.
“Dammit, Rachel.” I shake my head and take off to get Ava. “Sunshine, stop!” I say in the sternest voice I can muster. Once again, she listens. I grasp her hand and pull her along with me all the way to her car. I open the passenger door and let her in before I go to the driver’s seat. We’re halfway home when I hear her sniffle and see her wipe quickly at her face. Clearly we both have things to say, but I’m not interested in hashing it out in the dark car. I reach over and wipe away another tear then rest my hand on her thigh. For the first time since we got in the car, she shifts her body towards me instead of away. Progress—I’ll take it.
Thirty minutes later I’m pulling into our driveway. “Aubrey’s here?” I ask, breaking the silence at the sight of Harper’s nanny’s car over by the garage.
“Yes, I didn’t think it would be a good idea to take Harper with me. Now that I’m aware of what your fights are like, she will never even know what you do for a living. From now on, as far as she’s concerned, you’re the protector of the king of her castle. That’s it.” She swipes at her face a little more, sniffles again and the grabs for her purse.
“I am the king of her castle.” I smile, hoping we can get off the rocky ass road we’ve been on tonight. I get a small smile before she shakes her head and goes inside.
We check in with Aubrey and peek at a sleeping Harper, then Ava gets in the shower. She hasn’t showered alone in my house before, ever, but tonight she needs this, I think. I turn down the bed, change my clothes, and lay out a nightie for her. I’m in bed trying to figure out my words when she comes in the room with only a towel on her head.
Ava takes the towel off and slips the nightie on before crawling into bed with me. She doesn’t face away like I expected, instead she lays her head on my chest and curls into my side.
“I’m sorry, Sunshine. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to control temper where you’re concerned. I’m working on it.”
She sniffles and wipes her face and my chest with her small, soft hand.
“Why are you crying, baby?”
Ava sits up and straddles her legs on either side of my waist and takes a deep breath. “I hated everything about tonight.”
“About my fight?” I ask because I’m not sure I’m following her. Is she upset about Ashton or my reaction to them being together at the fight? She nods her head without looking at me so I sit up and wrap my arms around her. “I’m fine, babe. I’m really good at what I do, the chances of me getting really hurt are slim.”
She pops her head up quickly and narrows her eyes at me. “There is nothing funny about this, Declan! You scared the shit out of me!!” she exclaims just before punching me in the arm.
“Ow! What was that for?” I rub out the little sting on my bicep while mostly holding back a laugh, but I can’t hide my smile.
She quiets down but her eyes are terrified. “He kicked you in the head,” she whispers so softly I can hardly hear her. I have to laugh; I can’t help it.
“He kicked me in my head?” Did this surprise her?
“YES! Do you not remember that?” Her response is pure fear and I hate that I put that look on her face and that feeling in her heart.
“Yeah, I remember, Sunshine.” I smooth her hair away from her face and kiss her soundly. “I should have explained things to you, on how the fights work, what to expect. I would have if I knew you were going to show up, but I honestly thought that you were dead set against ever coming to one.”
Ava sighs. “I was, but then I felt like I wasn’t supporting you by not being there for you and I didn’t want you thinking that.”
I guide her backwards so she’s lying down with her head at the foot of the bed. I lean forward and slip my hands up her smooth thighs, placing small, lingering kisses along the way. My hands reach her hips and I’m reminded that she’s only wearing a nightie. “Hmmm, I love you so much. You are the sexiest woman I have ever known, Sunshine.” My hot breath whispers across her hip bones and over the skin just above her panty line (if she were wearing any). “I love the way you care about things other people don’t even take the time to think about.” My tongue draws a line up her abdomen, following her rising nightie. Her breathing has changed; it’s harsher and more rapid and I can’t get enough of it. My tongue swirls around her navel. “You make me so happy,” I kiss along her rib cage, “no matter what,” my tongue runs underneath her breast, “you don’t ever have to see another fight,” I kiss between her cleavage and slip her nightie off as I drag the tip of my nose to her ear, “just please don’t be upset over what I do. Don’t worry. Please? I need you, Ava, I need you like the air I breathe.” My tongue slides on the outer rim of her ear and I place a delicate kiss to her temple. I’m on top of her in a second, my elbows on either side of her head. My mouth connects with hers and although she has tears streaming down her face, there is no hesitation in her kiss.
Ava makes me feel like the word “love” was established just for us. Her and I. Me and her. I know that I would do anything for her, even become a damn accountant if that’s what she wished for on a bright, shining star. I would. It would be the toughest thing to possibly imagine but it wouldn’t be impossible. Surviving the loss of my relationship with her? That would be impossible.
* * * * * *
I wake up to a darkened room and complete silence. Macie had blackout shades installed in a few of the bedrooms, including mine, but I never use them. One push of a button and it’s like midnight in the middle of the afternoon, but I’m an early riser, always have been. I get up and run and eat whatever my trainer has on the menu then get my day started before most CEOs are even hitting snooze. But this morning, I know I have overslept and I know my stubborn woman has something to do with it.
Throwing the covers back and stretching out to a standing position, I can definitely feel the effects of my fight and then I’m flooded with thoughts of the makeup session with Ava last night. I feel like a prick for overreacting about Ashton, but sometimes being a prick is unavoidable.
After a quick shower and dressing, I head down to see a house full of people. I’m not sure what’s going on, but it smells good and everyone’s laughing and talking and just generally having a good time. I really wanted to spend the day with Ava and Harper but it looks like everyone else does too.
“Hey, good morning, babe,” Ava says with a small smile as she stands over a griddle flipping pancakes.
Harper is sitting at the breakfast bar eating her puffies while Greyden makes a game out of stealing them away and Macie fusses over her like she’s the most precious thing on this planet (which she is, right next to Ava). I dip down and kiss Harper on the top of the head and then walk straight over to Ava, take the spatula out of her hand, and wrap her up in my arms, giving her a deep, intense kiss. She pulls back, a bit breathless and blinking rapidly.
“Good morning, Sunshine. You don’t happen to know how the blackout shades got drawn and my alarm turned off, do you?” I ask and she just gently shrugs her shoulders and tries to move out of my embrace.
“Told you it wasn’t a good idea,” Greyden mumbles as though he tried to talk her out of it, which he probably didn’t.
My mom finishes pouring orange juice into a sippy for the little girl that she has fallen head over heels for and has since unofficially adopted her as her grandchild. She’s dubbed herself as NiNi and my dad as Papo and Harper obliged immediately. “Declan, this is new for her. Let her dote on you, it’s important,” my mother reminds me and then starts messing with Harper’s hair.
Ava needs to “dote” on me after last night? What am I missing? “Sunshine?”
Nothing. She just continues flipping those pancakes, over and over. I slide her hair over towards her right shoulder and kiss the exposed skin on the other side as my hands snake back around her wa
ist. I feel her exhale and relax a little into me.
“Are you doting on me, Sunshine?” I whisper in her ear and she shivers. Fuck, I love when I make her shiver. She still doesn’t verbally reply. “I like it, baby; I could get used to this.”
“You better not get used to this, sleeping in and eating like this—you’re going to become a fat ass!” Greyden says loudly and everyone, including my dad, admonishes him for cussing in front of Harper. “Crap, sorry, baby girl” he says softly to Harper, who laughs and says, “Crap! Crap! Crap!” He groans and starts handing her puffies to stuff in her mouth.
“Ava, the pancakes are finished. Take them off the griddle and look at me please,” I demand.
She does as I ask and everyone else pretends that they’re not paying any attention to us, but I know differently. She stacks them on the serving dish and then turns around to face me. Her eyes are glassy and I can tell she’s trying like hell to control her emotions.
“What happened?” I ask quietly, watching a few tears trickle down her cheeks. She sniffles and bats them away quickly.
“I needed you to rest and now I need to see you eat something other than a protein shake this morning. Please.”
“All right, I can do that. Do you want to tell me what has you so upset this morning? I thought we fixed this last night.” I really am confused. We spent hours making things right last night. She was laughing and teasing with me by the time we fell asleep, so this change of heart and concern is worrying me.
Ava swallows and kisses me softly, then turns back around and begins to make me a plate full of several pancakes, linguica, and some potato, pepper and eggs mixture. I just stand there, confused as hell. She hands me my plate with a fork and napkin before asking what I want to drink and telling me to sit. I sit and ask for coffee and orange juice. After setting my drinks next to my plate, she kisses my cheek and hurries out of the room. Nobody says anything; even Harper is being quiet.
“Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?” I say, dropping my fork on my plate and looking at everyone’s pity-filled faces.
My mom walks over to me and rests her hand on my shoulder. “Declan, watch your mouth, darling. Ava just needs a minute to compose herself.”
Still not answering my question!
Macie sits down at the bar and Keegan takes Harper out back. Macie clears her throat before speaking. “You have some pretty nasty bruises this morning?”
“Yeah, he got me pretty good in the second round along my ribs and torso on my right side. Why do you ask?”
Macie asked as though she already knows the answer but still seemed too concerned about it. “Well, I’m guessing you don’t sleep with a shirt on.”
Why the hell is she talking about the way I sleep with Ava in my bed in front of our parents? I’m just about to get pissed and tell her to shut up when her line of questioning starts to make sense. Ava had seen the bruises this morning. She’s seen me after fights before, but this was a good one, probably some of the worst bruising I’ve seen in a few years. I drop my head into my hands and rub vigorously. I’ve never had to deal with this before and I’m not sure how to go about it. I can’t just quit fighting because of a few bruises or because my girlfriend doesn’t want me to get kicked in the head again. Which I may or may not have agreed to not let happen again in the midst of some heavy kissing last night.
I look up at my sister and my mom, feeling lost and helpless. “What do I do?”
“You eat all of the food she put on your plate and drink all of the juice she poured in your glass and then you take her back to bed and show her you’re really all right,” my dad says from behind me and everyone except my mom laughs hysterically.
“Oh, you boys!” my mom scolds disgustedly as she stands and smacks my dad’s chest, then makes her way to the kitchen and starts cleaning up. I did notice that she didn’t disagree with him, though.
“I’m taking Harper home with me for the night and Greyden is making himself scarce. I made reservations at Gino’s for you two for dinner. She just needs to learn to deal is all, Dec. I mean, Mom is still learning and she’s been watching you do this crap since you were a baby. Ava loves you and it’s difficult to watch someone you love technically hurt himself,” Macie fills me in caringly.
I finish eating all of the food quickly and drink all of my juice, just like Dad said, then take Harper to her room to pack a bag. As she throws in a couple princess dresses, she knocks the wind out of me with her pensive look and out-of-left-field question: “Are you my Daddy?”
I have to stop myself from blurting out “YES!” Instead, I kiss the top of her head and tell her to hang on just a second. I call Ava on the intercom to come as quickly as possible. Thirty seconds later she arrives, a little winded with bloodshot eyes. She’s been crying more. Harper proceeds to pack her baby doll, a tiara and some little heels before she tries to zip it up, though that zipper ain’t going anywhere.
“What’s wrong?” Ava asks as she drops down in front of the little princess and begins taking things back out of the bag.
“Uhh, she asked me a question and I wasn’t sure how to respond.”
Ava turns around slowly so she can see my face and then looks back at Harper, who is extremely annoyed that her mom is removing everything she just packed. Harper stands there with her hand on her hip and her little foot tapping away. It would have been comical if she hadn’t just turned me into a giant pile of mush.
“Okay. What was the question?” Ava asks hesitantly, and rightfully so; I’m sure I’m wearing an expression that isn’t setting her racing heart at ease.
“Daddy! I want my dwess!” Harper screeches as she shoves her princess dress that Ava just removed back into the bag.
Ava was crouched down and at the sound of “Daddy” coming out of Harper’s mouth, she falls backward onto her butt with a soft “umph” escaping from her mouth. Harper grabs the handles of her bag and kisses Ava on the lips with her own little puckered ones.
“Bye, Momma,” she says, then drags her bag over to me and hugs my leg. I bend down and she kisses me too, then says, “Bye, Daddy,” and walks out of her bedroom, dragging that overstuffed, unzipped bag down the stairs. I’m thankful I got her necessities in it before she tilted my world with one little question then walked out like she was on a mission.
I lie down next to Ava in the middle of the room, just staring up at the white ceiling. I reach over and grab her hand before pulling it over to my chest.
“This is your call, Declan,” she says without looking at me. “I assumed she would eventually start asking questions but I didn’t think it would happen so soon—the girl is two.” Ava shakes her head and lets out a little huff of air. “Two years old.”
Chapter 18
Ava
My world is as serene and perfect as a warm, blissful summer day lying in a meadow with my one and only love. I couldn’t be more content. Well, okay, that’s not completely true. If Declan changed his mind and decided to become that accountant I prefer, then my world would be perfect. Instead, I will learn. I will learn to cope with his insanity, with his desire to be the best and his hope to be a household name in the world where people beat the shit out of each other. I learn to eat my fears and paste on a smile. I will learn to avert my eyes when he changes and has huge black, blue and purple splotches all over his body. I will deal, end of story. And I will deal because he is now a part of my everything. Suddenly, that degree that I have been busting my butt over since I was fourteen and a freshmen in high school isn’t nearly as important as sitting down at the dinner table with Declan and Harper. Now, making the smoothies Greyden taught me how to make for Dec at 4:30 in the morning is way more important than sleeping until Harper wakes up. I don’t want to be legally married, but I want to be his one and only. I want to be the mom that participates in the class and the girl that brings Declan’s meals to his gym or hell, even go running (maybe) with him in the mornings. Okay, again, that’s not the complete truth. T
here’s no freaking way he’s getting me out to run at 4:30 in the morning. Seven? Sure.
Last night, after everyone silently shed tears of happiness over Harper announcing to them that she was going to miss her Daddy while she sleeps over at Auntie Macie’s, we had our alone time at a nice dinner where we just talked nonsense, like Dec explaining his obsession with lemons ‘I told my mom when I was younger that I liked them and she told me that I couldn’t eat them too often because the acid ate the enamel off of my teeth. Of course, at nine years old it made me feel like a rebel, so I started sneaking them, now it’s just a habit,’nothing serious. Then, when we came home, we sat in the bath of bubbles for so long that we had to refill it with warmer water a couple of times. In there, in the sanctity of our large bathroom oasis, we talked. About everything. It went something like this…
Dec- When was your first kiss?
Me- I was thirteen and it was disgusting. Who was your first girlfriend?
Dec- Haley; we were in the second grade and I gave her my Pokémon card. Will you ever make an exception on getting married?
Me- No. Will you ever stop fighting?
Dec- Yes, if that’s what it’ll it take for you to change your mind on marriage.
Me- What’s your lucky number?
And so on and so forth we kept going and going. We decided that whether we intended on it happening or not, we’re a family, the three of us. It may not be the American dream traditional family, but it’s ours and we’ll do anything to protect it. That’s why this morning when Declan waited until seven to go running and asked me to go with him, I hesitantly agreed. I’m not an athlete, never have been. I’m a bookworm, and not even the fun bookworm kind where people fall in love, or discover their spouse is a murderer or uncover someone’s past that has ended up with amnesia. No not that kind at all. More like the kind where I learn what triggers someone’s brain to want to get physically hurt. Or truly useless facts like a rat can last longer without water than a camel and the dot over the lowercase I is called a tittle. I don’t read to learn new and exciting sex positions (although technically that is learning, so maybe I should look into it), either. I’m a nonfiction bookworm, I guess. But I love Declan, so I put on the tank with a built in bra and the tiny running shorts and the ridiculously neon bright running shoes and I ran. I ran for as long as my little body would allow, which was to the end of the drive and back. Declan, bless his heart, tried hard not to laugh at me. He actually held it in really well, then made me breakfast, kissed me, and went on his actual run.