by CJ Azevedo
“Well, I have three, actually. One, I love when my teenagers come in and they’re too cool to talk but it turns around quickly and soon they realize they can talk to me like their friend and I ‘get’ them. When that realization dawns on them, it’s priceless; it’s like I can see the world rising off of their little shoulders. Then with the real little ones, like four, five and six year olds, they usually won’t talk to me the first few sessions, but when they do finally talk, it’s like the world is finally lifting off of my shoulders and we just communicate. It’s amazing.” The last words come out on a whisper as I reflect on my career choice and all that I get out of it. When I decided on what I wanted to do with my life when I was a freshmen in high school, I was expecting to help all of these kids, which I pray that I am, but they are doing so much more for me than I expected.
Declan’s hands find mine and he holds them both, kisses the top of my head and then whispers in a sleepy voice into my hair, “What’s the third thing?”
“I have my own coffee pot in my own office,” I say excitedly. I remember rushing home after my first day, picking up Marla, and heading to Target to buy the cheapest coffee pot I could find since my boss told me it would be a good idea if I was coffee drinker, which I am.
Declan laughs his loud, chest-rumbling laugh and tells me he loves me. We talk a little more about the things we missed while we were apart, a lot about the conversations we remembered having with Harper that we both wanted to share but didn’t at the time. We both missed so much and it’s terribly sad, but right now, lying in his arms in our room, in our home, and defining ourselves as a married/committed couple, I am flying high as I fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Declan
Macie texted a little bit ago and said she was on her way over with Harper. I thought it would be fun for Harper to wake Ava up so I haven’t moved. We’re still on the sofa in the bedroom, Ava curled up on her side with her face pressed into my chest. I’ve been awake for nearly two hours, just thinking and holding her in my arms. I can’t even begin to allow myself to get up and extract her softness, she feels too good pressed up against me… it’s not happening until she or Harper force me to.
I’ve been going through the images of the things we did last night, of the things we will be doing tonight, and then I have to switch tracks to calm the little guy down. I think about how I’m going to convince her to at least wear a damn ring so the douches out there don’t get any wise ideas. Maybe I should throw a ring on too so I can ease her fears about the cheating, or have Bailey come up with some massive PR about our family to ward off the groupies. They’ve been coming tenfold since Ava’s been out of the house. It was just coincidence that the fame started rising about the same time, but she really doesn’t know half of it yet and that shit’s gonna suck.
I brush a few strands of her hair from her beautiful face and she nuzzles her nose closer to my bare chest and hikes her leg onto my thigh. I hear the front door open and then whispering as footsteps climb the stairs. The door slowly creaks open and I see Harper, with her crazy bed hair, exaggeratedly tiptoe through the doorway. She lifts her little finger to her puckered lips, telling me to be quiet. I silently chuckle because let’s face it, this is the cutest kid ever. Macie stands against the doorframe with a happy smile on her face, watching.
Harper finally reaches us and places her tiny hand on Ava’s bare shoulder. She leans over and kisses Ava on the cheek before whispering, “Mornin’, Momma!”
Ava’s eyes pop open, unfocussed as she scrambles for the blankets and looks around her surroundings. Harper finds this hilarious and starts giggling out of control.
I tighten my arms around Ava and kiss her forehead. “You’re good, baby,” I whisper to ease her fears of scarring Harper for life.
Macie comes farther into the room and whispers into Harper’s ear.
Harper jumps up and down and yells, “Welcome Home, Momma!” in a fit laughter. She’s still in her pajamas, bouncing around, and Macie tries to get her to calm down.
Ava throws the blanket back and tells Harper to come cuddle. Harper doesn’t hesitate. Ava’s been using this phrase since birth I’m sure, because Harper always wants to “cuddle.”
After we get Harper all tucked in with us on the sofa, we thank Macie and she leaves us to reunite as a family. Harper tells us all about her night with Auntie Macie and the breakfast she wants to cook for us and the puppy she wants to get and the baby doll she forgot at Auntie Macie’s and about the princess she dreamed about and how Uncle Grey said crap and damn and NiNi bought her a new purse… I need a nap already.
After cuddle time we all get up and dressed and head downstairs for some breakfast. I make phone calls to get everyone here for dinner and made sure that Deven knew we would be there first thing Monday morning to sign all the necessary documents to finalize all of this and then enjoy breakfast with my family. We all sit at the breakfast table and ate in relative silence. Ava and I probably look ridiculous just staring at one another with silly grins on our faces that we can’t seem to get rid of, although I doubt either of us are trying all that hard.
When we finish, I volunteer to clean up Harper. Ava begins cleaning up the kitchen as I take Harper upstairs to wash her up. Once that’s taken care of, we walk over to our room and I pull out a little wooden box from a small drawer on the top shelf in my closet. I placed it there months ago with a plan. That plan has been altered, but the end prize still hopefully the same.
I look down at Harper as she dances in little ballet circles in my closet, completely oblivious to the world around her. I open the box and pull out the heavy ring. I know this ring is not Ava. The style, I mean. When I picked it out, I had one thing in mind: to ward off all other guys. Period. Someday I may get over that—probably not—but if today she’s willing to put this on her finger, then later, at some point, she can buy the ring she wants that doesn’t scream, “I’m taken, assholes!”
I kneel down to get eye level with my curly haired little ballerina beauty. “Baby doll?” I say quietly.
She stops dancing, her eyes twinkling as she smiles at me. “Hi, Daddy,” she says like she’s forgotten that I’ve been in here with her the whole time.
“I need you to do something super important.”
She nods her head, her little curls bouncing away. “Like a mission?”
A mission? Where does she get this shit?
“Yes, baby, like a mission. I need you to take this pretty and ask Momma to wear it.” I place my palm in front of her with the ring sitting in the center of it. The center stone is large and shining brightly from the overhead lighting.
Harper’s eyes go to the size of saucers. “It’s so spahkly, Daddy! I want one!” she says in amazement.
“Maybe someday, baby, but for now can you take this to Momma and tell her to wear it?” I’m getting nervous about making my daughter do the dirty work.
Harper gingerly takes the ring from my palm as if she knows what that thing is worth and holds on tightly, leaving me behind to go find her mom. She walks right up to Ava, who’s sitting on the sofa in the family room, and thrusts the ring in Ava’s face. “Here, Daddy said to wear this pretty,” she says, none too excited now that she knows she’s not getting one for herself anytime soon.
I see my two girls together holding a piece of jewelry that will, in my mind, officially tie us together as a family.
“What, baby?” Ava asks her, completely confused as she takes the ring from Harper’s tiny hands and watches her bounce off.
“I want one too!” Harper yells as she takes off for the backyard.
Ava looks back down at the diamond-encrusted ring. The center stone is a fancy yellow diamond in a cushion cut surrounded by small white diamonds and then some more diamonds on the band. It’s loud and it’s flashy but it’s also yellow, like the sun, like my Sunshine.
I’m leaning against the archway that leads into the family room and she hasn’t noticed me yet. Ava sits there
still curled up on the sofa, so beautiful, looking at the ring like it’s an intense quiz. She’s thoroughly inspecting it; she hasn’t put it on, but she hasn’t thrown it. I take that as a good sign. I see her hands slightly tremble as she continues to hold it out in front of her. Slowly, she lifts her head to me and I smile, walking over to the kitchen as if nothing is happening. I’m not going to make this a big deal.
“Dec?” she calls quietly. I can hear the tremble in her voice, but it sounds maybe like its fear and that scares the shit out of me. “Is this…” she trails off as if the words “engagement ring” won’t even come out of her mouth.
I get a glass of ice water before I finish her sentence for her. Definitely avoiding the obvious route she would have taken if she were able to form the words, but oh well. “It’s a ring that you put on this finger,” I say as I gently sit down next to her, set down my glass, take the ring from her and slip it on her ring finger, “so everyone will know that you’ve agreed to be mine. You don’t need a contract, but I do. This is my solution; my peace of mind.” I kiss her and she doesn’t move.
She blinks rapidly and continues to hold her hand out right where I left it, mid-air. “But it’s an engagement ring,” she says, still trying to sort it all out in her head.
“If you need to call it something, then yes it is, but we won’t be getting married, so it’s really not.” I kiss her again. I want that look of confusion to go away, so I kiss her until she caves and kisses me back passionately.
Her hands cup my face and she whispers that she loves me across my lips and I know that I’ve finally won.
“Do you hate it?” I ask regretfully.
“Yes,” she says honestly. “But I suppose it’ll do its job. I don’t see many suitors approaching me with a kid on my hip and this on my finger,” Ava says impassively. Then she laughs and kisses me some more.
This is my life, one of my reasons for being put on this earth, to love and protect this girl forever. The other reason is barreling towards us, making her presence known. These girls are without doubt my reasons for living.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ava
Two weeks ago, Declan slipped this ridiculous ring on my finger. It stunned me at first. Not only is it not something even remotely close to what I would choose to wear, but I really didn’t think he would go that far as to staking his claim. Who was I kidding?
I knew my very modern views on marriage were going to be blown to smithereens once it all fell into place for me outside the courthouse. Once Dec slipped that silly ring on my finger, I knew it wouldn’t be long that I did the same to him.
It took me about a week to come up with a plan to surprise Declan to give him a wedding and the marriage that I know he secretly longs for. Unlike myself, he comes from a long line of happy, healthy marriages and I want to give that to him.
Once the idea was formed, I took it over to Nancy and she was ecstatic. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get a wedding package from the Bellagio. The whole family, including Jackson and Max’s families, would be coming with us. It’s so beautiful there and really easy. We show up and they take care of everything.
Nancy had called Macie over immediately and we got online and started planning. Those plans went south quickly and it was moved to Nancy’s home when she realized it was completely taken care of and we had nothing to do but show up. Okay, we can get married at her house; it’s lovely there. Then Macie pointed out that the guest list wasn’t accurate and they were missing people and the James’ yard was too small. So they began searching for venues in the area while I sat back and drank my tea, wishing it had vodka in it.
By the end of that first week, they had booked a historic mansion hotel that would hold enough people and would also allow Nancy to have a say in the decorations and meal preparation. The problem is, my simple, no-iron gown I purchased for a Vegas venue is no longer sufficient for this current venue. Now I need save the date cards mailed out yesterday. I need invitations, matching bridesmaid dresses, a music list, favors, speeches, flowers, and a second dress for the reception (which is just as fancy and equally as expensive). I need beauty appointments, time off work, and I don’t even think my freakin’ lingerie is fancy enough anymore!
When Dec walks in from the gym, he finds me sitting at the breakfast table still in my pajamas. It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. I’m a mess. I’ve been crying from the stress of all of this but I have myself under control for the time being. I’m sure he can tell, though. I have binder upon binder of wedding paraphernalia spread out on the table in front of me.
Declan walks in slowly and sets his gym bag down on the floor before approaching me. “What’s going on, Sunshine?” he asks, his eyes scanning the whole lot in front of me.
I lift my head from the table to meet his gaze. “I tried, Dec. I tried so hard to do this for you. And I love them, I swear I do, but I just might kill them if I have to go through three more weeks of this by myself.” I drop my head back onto the table, causing a loud thud to ring through the quiet room.
Declan steps closer to me, putting one hand on my back and slowly caressing it, the other rummaging through all the crap on the table. He drops down into the chair next to me and scoots it closer before pulling me in front of him effectively dragging my heavy head off of the table so I can look at him. He’s smiling his stupid, happy, beautiful smile. I love that smile. “Want to tell me what exactly you’re talking about, Sunshine?”
I should probably be nervous or embarrassed or something girly, but I’m not. I’m spent. I look into his gorgeous eyes, the same eyes that locked with mine nearly a year ago back at Max’s before he even knew my name. The eyes that will always turn my insides to excited flutters. “Will you marry me?” I blurt out.
Declan chuckles and nods his head. “Yup,” he says, the word popping from his smiling lips. My favorite smile only widens.
“Good, then you can deal with your crazy sister and even crazier mother. I quit.” I drop my upper half onto his lap and he laughs louder.
His strong arms wrap tightly around my shoulders as he squeezes me with his excitement. “Have you been crying, baby?” He’s stopped laughing and I hear his words laced with concern.
“Yes. I tried not to. I didn’t want to be one of those brides, but good Lord, the stress of this is too much. I tried for a quick Vegas wedding but now we’re planning a big wedding in four weeks that normal brides do in a year and half. I told your mom last week I wanted to go to Vegas with the family and get the wedding package at the Bellagio, maybe cost us ten grand if we foot bill for the hotel accommodations for the guests.” I sit up and see him nodding his head in agreement.
“That sounds like a good idea,” he says enthusiastically.
“That’s what I thought, but she and Macie now have a historic mansion booked for the thirtieth of this month, by the way, and please don’t have a heart attack, but this whole damn thing is going to cost us somewhere around eighty thousand dollars.” I spit out that last part because I still can’t wrap my brain around it. “I don’t even make that in a year, Dec. I have to go buy two wedding dresses today, you know, because it makes sense to have two dresses for the same damn day. I also have to meet with the baker and pick out both of the cakes because again one cake isn’t sufficient; nope, the groom needs his own cake for some reason no one can explain to me. Macie insists that two dresses means two different pairs of shoes. I mean, just look at this, Declan! Look!” I throw my arms out in front of me, gesturing towards the madness that’s spread out on my breakfast table.
“I see it, Sunshine. Come here,” he says in his deep, calming tone as he stands up and pulls me into his embrace.
For the first time in a week, I feel like I can breathe again. I know I was doing this for him, to surprise him, but it has been awful keeping this from him.
“I’ll talk to them and I’ll take care of it. Do you want to go to Vegas?”
“We’ve already paid a stupid amount of money on
a non-refundable deposit, so we’re getting married at that place whether I want to or not,” I mumble into his chest, soaking up his warmth and breathing in his cologne.
“My mom will eat that deposit if you want to get married at the Bellagio. Do you want to get married in Las Vegas or not?” His hardened tone serves its purpose. I know he’ll do anything for me.
“I want what you want. I just want to get married to you. I really don’t care how or when I just wasn’t planning on spending so damn much money or making such a huge production of it. But if you don’t care, I don’t care.”
Declan smirks sexily at me. “Sunshine, you asked me to officially marry you today. I don’t care about anything but getting your hot ass down that aisle in exactly twenty-one days.”
Epilogue
Ava
I honestly never believed I would be standing here today, staring at my reflection on my wedding day. My hair is down, pinned back on one side with a sterling silver clip that once belonged to Jackson’s grandmother that his mother gave to me as an early wedding gift. My gown, the first one, is strapless and fitted, floor length with a lace overlay. We added a silk belt with a rhinestone applique that rests in the center of my tummy. You can only see my shoes when I walk and they peek out from beneath my gown, but they’re crazy sexy shoes. They’re metallic silver with a little medallion on the toes and I think I’ll wear them to the grocery store every day because I love them that much. I’m wearing my bracelet Dec had made for me for my birthday, a necklace that Macie and I found on one of our wedding shopping sprees, and the diamond studs that Nancy and Mark gave me this morning.
I think about how this last month turned out not so bad once everyone agreed to not go over the prices with me—they went to Declan for that. I don’t know what this ended up costing us, but I do know that by the time Harper goes to college, it’ll probably cover the cost of one of her courses. Maybe. I also know that other than the eventual children we will be having, this wedding and the damn contract I will be signing in about an hour are the highlights of Declan’s life. He’s been floating while planning this monstrosity. I’m actually happy that I had a breakdown and my surprise fell through so he was able to plan this himself.