by Moody, Diane
Rubbing his eyes, he shuffled slowly toward her. “What is it?”
She reached for his hand, pulling him closer toward the window. “Don’t get too close, but look outside.” She watched his face as the dancing lights flickered against it.
When he finally realized what he was seeing, he let out a breathless gasp. “I can’t believe it.”
Below them, on a tightly secured hospital lawn, thousands of people covered the hospital grounds. In their hands, they held candles. Like tiny lights sparkling on a moonlit sea, they burned with one message: We love you, Jackson. Young girls clutched teddy bears, others held up signs of encouragement. God, Please love Jackson tonight . . . Hang in there, Blue . . . We are Blue for You . . . Jackson, we want you back!
Out of his tears came the sound of Jason’s laughter. “Will you look at that? There must be thousands of them.”
Hannah laughed too, feeling the healing balm of hope descending over them. She heard footsteps approaching them from behind.
“What is it?” Gevin asked, his arm around Marissa’s shoulders. When they got close enough to see, the same shock registered on their faces.
“Oh my gosh,” Marissa whispered. “Gevin, look at all of them!”
In moments, the others joined them at the window—JT, Tracey, Sergio, Laura and Frank, Jackson’s parents and siblings. They all had the same reaction–—at first shock, then overwhelming gratitude.
“Wait—I’ve gotta get Alli. She’s got to see this.” Jason peeled off down the hall. Moments later he returned, his hands pulling hers, dragging her against her will.
“Jason, stop it! I don’t want to leave him. Please stop!”
“It’s just for a minute, Alli. You need to see this. I promise you won’t regret it.” He escorted her to the front nearest the window.
Her expression melted immediately. “Oh . . .” It fell from her lips, nothing more than a breath. “I can’t believe it. If only Jackson could see this.” She smiled through her tears as Jackson’s parents embraced her.
The friends and family members crowded close together in one collective hug as they watched the lights reflect on the faces of the faithful fans below. They wept through their smiles at the extraordinary gesture of love.
“Hey, look at that.” JT pointed toward the right side of the crowd. “Over there on the side of that van.”
A huge banner flapped in the brisk winter breeze. On a brilliant blue background, the bold white letters grabbed their attention:
DON’T GIVE UP!
WE LOVE YOU!
BLUE FOREVER!
“Do we have the most amazing fans, or what?” Jason sighed. He hesitated, then turned toward Gevin. Their eyes locked momentarily.
Gevin raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, Jason, we do. We have the most amazing fans.” With that, he moved closer to the window, unlatched it and threw it wide open. At first, the mass of faces below didn’t see them. Then slowly, like a giant wave, they began pointing up to the window where the cluster of their beloved Blue members stood waving with family and friends.
The cheers roared, swelling to a crescendo. Not the raucous cheers they heard at their concerts. These were passionate expressions of love and hope. They waved back, Jason patting his hand over his heart to say thank you. JT covered his face with his hands to hide his emotion. Sergio simply stared in disbelief as tears streamed down his face.
Voices young and old drifted up to them.
“We love you!”
“Tell Jackson we love him!”
“God loves you!”
“We’re praying for you!”
About that time, blinding lights panned the window as camera crews discovered the impromptu gathering. The special, intimate moment ended. Frank closed the window as the others made their way back to the waiting room.
“That was awesome,” wowed Micah, Jackson’s younger brother. “Wish Jackson could have seen it.”
“He knows, Micah,” Jason responded with a wink. “Somehow I think he knows.”
“Well, it can’t hurt to remind him.”
They all looked at Gevin with puzzled faces as he headed back down the hallway, pulling Marissa along with him. “C’mon. I think it’s time we stopped all this crying. There’s something we need to do.”
JT, Tracey, Sergio, Alli, Jason and Hannah followed them down the hall. After a few minutes of desperate pleas to the attending doctor, they received reluctant permission to make a group visit into Jackson’s room. They filed in silently, reverently aware of Jackson’s still form lying so peacefully in that bed. Alli took a seat in the chair beside him again as the others formed a circle around the bed.
It was the first time they had all been together with Jackson like this. Alli looked around from face to face with a renewed hope shining through her glistening eyes.
“Gevin?” Jason looked inquisitively at his cousin.
Gevin took a deep breath, taking a second to look at Marissa beside him.
“Go on, baby,” she whispered.
“Okay, Jackson. It’s like this,” he began, his dark eyes focused on Jackson’s face. “We can’t stand this anymore, buddy. See, you pretty much scared the hell out of us, but . . . well, we just wanna tell you we love you, man.” He swallowed hard and took a moment.
“But you need to know there are thousands of people outside pulling for you. They’re holding candles and all they want is to hear that you’re okay. And that’s all we want, Jackson. Come on, man. Pull out from under this . . .” He stopped, this time looking at the others, his eyes moist, pleading for someone else to speak.
“Hey, man, it’s me, JT,” he started, his voice graveled. “Now, you’ve been lying here on your butt sleeping way too long, man. And we’ve all decided it’s about time you wake up and smell the coffee, know what I mean? Come on, Jax. You can do it. I know you can do it.”
“No kiddin’, Jackson. Enough already.” Jason feigned a tease, his tone not quite convincing. “If you needed a break, all you had to do was ask, man. We’d chill for you—you know we would. But right now—well, right now we need you to wake up.” His voice grew quiet. “We all need you, Jackson. We can’t make it without you. None of us can. I hope you know that.”
Hannah tightened her grip on Jason’s hand, urging him to continue. “And the thing is . . . well, we’ve been praying for you, man. And all those people outside? You should see them. They’re praying too. And Jackson, we know God’s not through with you yet. I think He just reminded us of that when we looked out that window. There’s so much more we’ve gotta do together, Jackson.”
Gevin’s head suddenly snapped up. He looked Jason straight in the eye. As if a light clicked on, a curious smile crept across his face. “That’s right, Jackson.” His eyes stayed locked on his cousin’s. “Jason is exactly right. We’re nowhere near through with what we’ve gotta do together.”
Marissa turned to face her fiancé, the confusion written on her face. Hannah watched the exchange of unspoken communication. Gevin nodded, as if answering her question, then hugged her against him.
Marissa’s smile broke across her mahogany face until she was beaming. “That’s right, Jackson. There’s a whole lot of people in here and a lot more out there who are depending on you to get yourself outta this bed.”
JT stared at Gevin. “Gev, what—”
“Yeah, Gevin, what are you trying to say?” Sergio interrupted.
“I think this whole thing—all of it . . . well, I think it’s just shown me—” he stopped, looking once again at Marissa, “—shown us that we still have a job to do. It’s pretty clear to me now. Rissa, there’s no reason we can’t get married and continue with all this, is there?”
“No, there’s no reason at all, if it’s what you want,” she answered. “As long as we’re together.”
“I mean, things don’t just happen without meaning. And somehow I think this whole tragedy . . . it finally opened my eyes.” He looked up toward the ceiling of that crowded hospital ro
om, his eyes bright with revelation. When he looked back down at those around him, there was a humbleness in his demeanor.
“I guess I owe you all a big apology. We’ve all been fighting ever since Rissa and I announced our engagement. This should be the happiest time of my life, but it’s been clouded by all these arguments. I never wanted that. I guess I just got tired and was looking for the easy way out. I’m really sorry, guys. JT? Sergio? Jason? I hope you’ll forgive me. I mean it, guys. I’m really sorry.”
They all answered at once. Hannah could feel the collective relief among them, as if a ten-ton boulder had been lifted from their shoulders. They hugged, they laughed. After the heartache they’d suffered, it was a welcomed moment of fresh air.
“I just wish Jackson could hear us,” Sergio said softly.
“He does, Sergio. I know it,” Jason said. “I don’t doubt it for a minute.” Their eyes returned to Jackson, his familiar face so peaceful. “And guys, since we’re all here like this? Well, if it’s okay with you, I think we need to pray over Jackson.”
“Hey, JMac—you’re not gonna preach to him, are you?” JT teased. “I mean, he’s liable to roll over and never wake up if he hears one of your sermons.”
Their subdued laughter rippled through the room. “Very funny, JT. I just figured we could use all the help we can get. At this point, it seems like God’s our only hope. Hands down.”
“Go for it, Jason,” Tracey chimed in. “Let Jackson hear you praying.”
Jason inhaled deeply, reaching a hand out to Hannah and one to JT beside him. The others joined hands around the circle. He lifted his face and closed his eyes. “God, we know that apart from You there is no hope. Not just for Jackson here, but for all of us. We screw up so bad sometimes, God. Then we come crawling back to You, asking for forgiveness. But oh God . . . how awesome it is to know You’re always there, with open arms, just loving us so much. So we stand here, every one of us, and we ask You to forgive us—for anything that stands in the way of You hearing our prayers. We want You to hear our hearts and forgive us, okay Lord?”
“That’s right. Preach it, JMac,” JT murmured softly.
Hannah wondered if he was teasing again. She slowly looked up, finding JT’s eyes still pressed closed, his expression serious and sincere. Marissa caught her eye, smiled and winked.
Jason continued. “We need You, Lord. We are so hopeless without You. But we know—God, we know You can wake up Jackson for us. You can bring him back to us, whole and complete. God, we love him so much . . .” His voice cracked. Hannah could feel his body trembling. She pulled her hand free and wrapped her arm snuggly around his waist, nuzzling her head against his shoulder.
Marissa began to hum quietly. It was so like her, knowing it would put Jason at ease. Finally, he took a deep breath and tried again. “But we know that You love him even more than we do. We can’t even begin to understand love that deep. So we’re asking You, God—no, we’re begging You—to heal Jackson. Give him back to us, God. Please. Please.”
Jason paused only a moment. Then, as he struggled to force the words, he added one more prayer. “But God, we ask . . . for strength. To face whatever is Your will for Jackson . . . no matter what that may be.”
The words hung in mid-air, the bitter truth of them taking root in each and every one of them. Then, as the whispered prayers of others drifted around the darkened room, Marissa began to sing the words of the familiar hymn she’d been humming. One by one, they joined her, their quiet voices filling the room.
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrow like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
It is well, it is well
It is well, it is well with my soul.
They paused at the end of the first verse, even as Marissa’s voice continued with a soulful climb, as though her heart searched for a secure hiding place. JT’s warm, raspy voice joined hers, the blending of their mournful harmony both haunting and utterly beautiful. As Marissa finally broke into the next verse, they joined her again, this time their rich harmonies layering the profound lyrics.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hast shed His own blood for my soul.
They sang the chorus again, then began the final verse of that old, beloved hymn with such conviction and force, Hannah was sure the entire hospital must be hearing their heartfelt song of prayer.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be right,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well, it is well
It is well, it is well with my soul.
When the song ended, their voices echoed off the glass walls of the tiny room. As that last note hung in the air, the tears fell freely. The impact of the words against the convicting melody produced an ongoing rhythm of sniffling noses and quiet sobs. Hannah had never experienced anything so powerful in her entire life. She knew she wasn’t the only one.
Alli pressed Jackson’s lifeless palm against her cheek. “Please, God . . . please.”
Chapter 15
Cobwebs everywhere. The more she tried to brush them away, the more entangled they became. They seemed to be growing . . . tying knots in themselves and wrapping around everything in their path—including her. They tickled her face at first, no matter how much she pushed them away. Then, as if someone flipped a switch, the webs morphed into high speed, encircling her face like the tattered rags on a mummy. She fought them, frantically trying to clear them before they strangled her.
“No! No! Get them off me!” she screamed. “Help me! Get them . . . noooooo!”
She felt hands gripping her arms. Strong hands shaking her.
“Help me! I can’t breathe! I can’t—”
“Hannah! Wake up!” Jason gently patted her face. “Wake up! You’re just dreaming.”
Her eyes flew open. Jason’s face was only a couple inches from her own. “But . . . there were cobwebs . . . and they were—”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. “Shhhh. There are no cobwebs. Just a bad dream, that’s all. I’m here. Everything’s okay. I’m right here.” He rocked her gently back and forth, until she slowly relaxed against him.
“Jason, it was so horrible. I couldn’t see anything and these cobwebs were wrapping themselves all around me and—”
“Don’t talk about it anymore, okay? Try to get it out of your mind. You’re okay, I promise you,” he whispered, pulling her face toward him to look at her eye to eye. “I’m right here, Hannah, and I won’t leave you, okay? I promise you that.”
Still shaking, she stared into his reassuring eyes, wanting to believe him. Embarrassment slowly washed over her. She dropped her head into her hands. “I feel like such an idiot. I’m sorry. I don’t know why—”
“Hey, after the last couple of days, it’s a wonder we’re all not having nightmares.” He pulled back, raising his arms over his head with an exaggerated loud yawn.
“No wonder people in hospitals are sick—the beds alone will kill you,” he laughed quietly.
During the wee hours of the morning, after leaving the emotional gathering in Jackson’s room with all the others, Hannah and Jason had drifted down the hospital wing to one of the rooms set aside for all of them. They sat together, side by side, in one of the narrow hospital beds. With the head of the bed cranked up at almost a ninety-degree angle, they watched television as a diversion. Apparently they had fallen asleep. The television was still on.
Jason dropped his legs off the side of the bed. “Whoa,” he moaned, rubbing the small of his back. “My back feels like one huge knot. Ooohhhh . . . that hurts. I’m in serious pain here.”
Hannah pulled her hair off her neck. “Jason, I hate to tell you this, but you sound like an old man. You want me to ring the nurse for some oxygen? Maybe some prunes or a laxative or something?”
He looked over his shoulder at her, returning a mischievous smile. “You,” he crawled back toward her, “are not nice. After all I’ve done for you. Easing you out of that nasty nightmare. And this is the thanks I get? Oxygen? Laxatives? Hannah, you know what I do to people who are unkind to me.” He grabbed her waist and started tickling.
“No! Jason, stop! You know I hate—ahhhh!” she cried, dissolving into a storm of giggles. She grabbed his neck and pinched it sending him into a pathetic cry of surrender.
“Okay, OKAY! I’ll stop! Now let go—let go!”
“What in the world is going on in here?”
They froze, turning their heads toward the door. Laura and Frank stood in the doorway.
“Oh, hey Mom. Dad! Uh, well we were just . . .” he looked at Hannah. A split second later they were laughing again. Jason scrambled to stand up as Hannah fell back against the raised bed. Finally, he let out a long sigh. “Oh never mind. I guess we were just letting off a little steam. Did we wake you guys or what?”
Laura walked over to a blue vinyl chair and sat down. “No, you didn’t wake us. In fact we just had breakfast. One of the local radio stations had a hot breakfast buffet delivered for all of us from Cracker Barrel. You all should go eat something.”
“Sounds good, but what’s the word on Jackson?” Jason asked, finger combing his hair. “I can’t believe we fell asleep watching that stupid TV movie. We must have slept all night. Have the doctors said anything?”
Laura looked across the room at her husband who was leaning against the door frame. He dug his hands deep in his pocket and shook his head. “Nothing. There’s been no change at all.”
Hannah watched Jason take a deep breath. Their momentary relief disappeared, the laughter forgotten.
Frank walked over and tousled Jason’s hair. “Why don’t the two of you go get a bite to eat. I’m sure we’ll hear some news soon.”
Jason turned toward Hannah. “You hungry?”