‘Yes.’
‘Because you feared that if he saw you as a threat he would engineer a way of breaking us up, like he did four years ago? Only then, of course, he persuaded Gianni to help him,’ Rafe said slowly, and she caught the note of pain in his voice.
‘I honestly believe he did it because he thought it was best for you. He wanted you to marry an Italian heiress, not an English vicar’s daughter with no social standing,’ she replied hastily. Even now, after everything, she hated to see him hurt, and discovering that the father he idolised had betrayed him must be agonising.
‘Actually the main reason he disapproved of my relationship with you was that he feared there was a high risk that any children we might have would be handicapped. He knew that your brother, Simon, was confined to a wheelchair, but not the reason for it,’ Rafe added, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘It doesn’t excuse what he did, but it’s an explanation of sorts.’
‘Simon was hurt in an accident,’ Eden said dazedly.
‘I know and so does my father, now. He’s also aware that, whatever the reason for Simon’s condition, it would never have dissuaded me from wanting to marry you.’
‘I see,’ she murmured, still not really understanding why he was here. The real reason their relationship had foundered hadn’t changed. He hadn’t trusted her or believed in her and ultimately he didn’t love her. Those things were a requisite of any relationship she embarked on from now on and she gave him a brisk smile, wishing that the sight of him didn’t hurt so much. He was the sexiest man on the planet, she thought ruefully, but sadly she wasn’t the only woman to find him so—the queue went twice around the block and she was tired of getting trampled on.
‘I really have to go, so if that’s all…’
‘Of course it’s not all.’ The old Rafe exploded back on the scene, arrogant, demanding, his eyes flashing fire as he raked his hand through his hair and fought to contain his temper. ‘I am trying to say I’m sorry,’ he told her, faint outrage in his voice that she hadn’t realised. ‘I’m trying to make amends for the way I hurt you. Here,’ he pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket and thrust it into her hands, ‘this might explain things better.’
Eden stared at him and then slowly scanned the enclosed documents, her heart thudding in her chest as she carefully replaced them in the envelope and handed it back to him. ‘It’s a nice gesture,’ she said huskily, her throat tight with suppressed tears, ‘but no, thanks.’
‘They are the deeds to the Dower House. I’ve bought it for you,’ he yelled, as if raising his voice would make her understand.
‘I know, and I can’t accept it,’ she replied with a calmness she didn’t feel.
‘You don’t have to pay me off, Rafe, I came to you willingly, both times.’
‘I’m not trying to pay you off. Madre de Dio, you are the most impossible woman I have ever met.’ He glared at her, all powerful, dominant, angry male, and she tore her gaze from his mouth. She would not give in to the temptation to reach up and kiss him even though she yearned to with every fibre of her being. Loving him didn’t mean it was right and his next sentence confirmed that.
‘I haven’t bought it for you alone—it’s for us, for when I’m in England.’
It sounded worse and worse, he was planning to set her up as his resident mistress for when he happened to be passing through—a bit like a housekeeper with extracurricular duties, and the terrible thing was, she was tempted.
A glance at her watch revealed that time was getting on and she hoped the taxi driver wasn’t charging her by the hour. ‘I’m sorry, Rafe, but I’m not interested and if I miss my train I’ll be late to check in at the airport.’
‘I thought you were going to London. Your estate-agent friend told me you’ve got a job with a news agency,’ he muttered as he followed her out of the front door.
‘I have, but not in London.’
‘So where—somewhere in Europe?’
‘Sierra Leone,’ she admitted. ‘The news agency has asked me to write a series of special reports on the situation there.’
‘Over my dead body, cara; it’s too dangerous.’
‘It will be over your dead body if you don’t move out of the way of the taxi, and as for dangerous…’ She broke off as words failed her. ‘You’re a racing driver, for heaven’s sake! Don’t talk to me about dangerous when I’ve stood at the trackside and watched you risk your life driving at ridiculous speeds for entertainment.’
‘That’s the other thing I came to tell you. I’m holding a Press conference tomorrow to announce my retirement from racing but I wanted you to be the first to know.’
He didn’t know what he had expected her reaction to be—surprise, shock…he dared even hope for some indication that she was pleased, but instead she stared at him blankly as if he’d announced he was giving up eating chocolate. ‘Well, I suppose you are getting on a bit,’ she remarked finally, and the last vestiges of his patience went up in smoke.
‘Dio! I can’t do anything right. I buy the house you love and you throw it back in my face. I give up racing, the thing you hate most, and you act like you don’t care.’ He ran a shaky hand through his hair as Eden climbed into the waiting taxi. He needed some feedback here, some indication of her feelings, and adrenalin coursed through him as he tasted fear. This was the most important event in his life and losing wasn’t an option.
‘Tell me, cara, what do I have to do to make you come back to me?’ He thrust his head through the open window of the car to glare at her, and Eden closed her eyes in despair. Another minute and she would be asking the driver to take her suitcase out of the boot again.
‘You have to love me, like I love you,’ she whispered, unable to hold back the tears as the car pulled away. ‘It’s all I ever wanted, Rafe, and the one thing you could never give me.’
She asked the man to drive away and was too busy scrubbing her eyes to take much notice of the passing scenery but the taxi driver suddenly braked sharply and muttered an oath.
‘Road hog,’ he shouted as he climbed out of the car. ‘I recognise you now; you’re that racing-driver bloke. Nice car,’ he added with a sniff.
‘Have it,’ Rafe thrust the keys under the driver’s nose as he slid behind the wheel of the taxi. ‘I don’t need it any more. I need a nice, safe, family car, isn’t that right, cara?’
‘I think you need to turn this car around and take me to the station,’ Eden said shakily. ‘What are you doing, Rafe?’
He made no reply but shot down the narrow country lanes so fast that she closed her eyes and when she opened them they were back outside the Dower House.
‘Put me down,’ she pleaded when he scooped her into his arms and carried her into the house. It was embarrassing enough that she had told him how she felt without him treating her like a rag doll, which was exactly how she felt right now.
‘Of course I love you, you crazy woman,’ he yelled, his temper at a simmering point as he headed for the stairs. ‘My love for you was never in doubt.’
The look of stunned shock on her face told him she’d had plenty of doubts and still did, and his frustration disappeared, to be replaced with a rush of tenderness for the woman who was his very reason for living.
‘Ti amo, cara mia. I see I’m going to have to work on your Italian,’ he murmured gently. ‘I’ve been telling you I love you for months, and in my dreams for years.’
Eden wriggled frantically in his arms, needing to escape him before she crumbled. ‘You don’t have to say it to make me feel better.’
‘I’m saying it to make me feel better, cara. You are my life, my love and you have been since you fell through my hotel window and assured me that you were not a fan,’ he told her softly and she swallowed at the depth of emotion evident in his dark eyes.
‘But you didn’t trust me, you believed I’d cheated on you with Gianni and you were so cruel. You broke my heart,’ she accused huskily, and he lowered her to her feet, his arms around her holdin
g her tight against his chest.
‘If it’s any consolation, I spent the next four years in purgatory. I missed you so much but Gianni had been horrifically injured and I couldn’t leave him. It seemed wrong to search for happiness when he had none but I never forgot you, not for one day, and when I learned that you’d returned to Wellworth I knew I had to find you.’
‘Have you really retired from racing?’ Eden asked wonderingly. ‘It’s the most important thing in your life, Rafe, and I don’t want you to make that kind of sacrifice for me.’
‘You are my life, cara. Nothing else comes close. It’s no sacrifice; I’m not giving up racing for you, but because I would rather be with you, in an English country house that we’ll fill with our children.’ His lips claimed hers in a kiss that touched her soul. Hungry, passionate yet filled with such tenderness that she knew with utter certainty that he was speaking the truth. Incredible as it seemed, this amazing, charismatic, infuriating man really loved her.
‘Marry me?’ he asked huskily as he trailed a line of kisses down her neck to the pulse that beat frantically at its base. She hesitated, the wariness back in her eyes. ‘Your father…’ she began, and he tilted her chin to stare down at her as if determined to blind her with his love.
‘Knew that I wanted to marry you four years ago and that no other woman has ever come close. He also knows that his only chance of holding his grandchild is if I can persuade you to become my wife. Trust me, cara, he’s hoping and praying you say yes.’
She had always loved this room, Eden thought as she glanced around the master bedroom that Rafe had used for the one night he’d spent at the Dower House.
After he’d gone she had slept in his bed, desperate for some link with him, and she smiled as he laid her on the silk counterpane of the four-poster bed.
‘Are you hoping I’ll say yes?’ she queried as he struggled with the buttons that fastened her blouse before impatience took over and he tugged so that the tiny pearls pinged across the room. He caught the remnants of uncertainty in her voice and sought to reassure her in the way he knew best, his lips caressing hers with tender passion until there was no room for doubt.
‘Not hoping, cara mia, expecting,’ he told her as his glorious arrogance bounced back. ‘You are my other half, the keeper of my soul, and I love you with all my heart. You have to say yes because I will spend the rest of my life hounding you until you do and there are so many more pleasurable ways that we can spend our time.’ He proceeded to demonstrate some of them and she linked her arms around his neck as he trailed his lips over her breasts.
‘I won’t waste time arguing, then,’ she said breathlessly, lifting her hips obligingly so that he could dispense with her skirt. ‘I love you, Rafe,’ she whispered, and drowned in the emotion in his dark eyes as he made them one.
‘And I love you, cara mia, always, for the rest of my life.’
His Private Mistress Page 16