He stood on unsteady feet, bumping against the table in the booth. He was feeling a little woozy now. Maybe he’d had too much to drink. He’d hardly eaten anything before he left the flat.
He walked over to the bar and signalled to the brunette chatting at the other end that he wished to settle his bill. She nodded and walked over towards the register.
Shit, his coat. As he turned back towards the booth to retrieve his forgotten grand’s worth of Louis Vuitton, he collided with someone walking the other way. Perfume filled his nostrils, white wine splashed on his shirt. He took a step back as the redhead glared at him.
“Oh, for shit’s sake, you clumsy idiot. Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”
“Sorry, sorry.”
The woman brushed at the large white wine stain spreading across her cream blouse. “Sorry don’t do shit for me. Look at the state of this.”
He reached forward to try and assist and got slapped away.
“Keep your hands to yourself, you creepy little weasel.”
Harrison’s face reddened. “I was only trying to help.”
“I think you’ve done more than enough.”
The manager, Antoine, leaned over the bar. “Is there a problem here?”
“No problem,” said Jacob, forcing a smile. “Just a little accident. Can I buy the lady another one?”
“Sure,” said Antoine, giving them a tight smile. Jacob knew he was being assessed. Was his presence lowering the tone of the establishment? Tonight just got better and better.
“A large,” said the redhead. “And some tissues, if you’ve got them.”
They both stood at the bar, side by side, watching as Antoine had a quick word with the brunette, who eyed them and then nodded.
The redhead looked at her blouse again. “Look at the state of this. It’s ruined.”
“I’ll pay for the dry cleaning.”
“Too right you will. I’ve no time to go home. I’m meeting someone, you clumsy drunken idiot.”
Jacob had taken enough insults for one night. “No, you’re not. I think Brian decided to spend Christmas with his wife.”
She turned and glowered at him through squinted eyes. Jacob smiled back. “The whole bar heard your phone calls, you weren’t exactly quiet.”
“Yeah, well, he was one of many options. He can go spend Christmas with his family. He’s got a daughter about the same age as your date was. Y’know, the one that stormed out?”
“That’s not what that was.”
“Sure.” She smiled venom. “Course not. What is it with men like you that you’re so terrified of women your own age? You’d rather bang some airhead who’s barely out of school.” She slurred the last word.
“Probably because most women of your age are bitter old hags.”
She gave a humourless laugh. “That’s what you call a woman who won’t put up with your shit anymore, is it? Who isn’t cowed enough to lie there and fake it? Who isn’t interested in mentally rearranging her shoe collection while you wheeze and chug away, like a clapped-out motor trying to get up a hill?”
“What would you know about it?”
“Just a hunch. I bet a real woman would have you shaking in your boots.”
“Oh really?”
She looked him up and down. “Without a doubt.”
Jacob hated this woman. He hated her smug grin, her fine figure and the mocking scorn that dripped from her every word. Why, then, could he feel more than his anger rising?
“What’s your name?”
She stopped and looked at him again. “Do you care?”
“No.”
Chapter Fifty-Two
Tina sat in the back of the van. From the front seat, Phil Nellis was taking an ill-advised stab at becoming a motivational speaker.
“Ye shouldn’t feel bad about this, Tina. You’re a lovely girl. I’m sure, given time, you’d be able to convince any man to go to bed with you.”
She patted Maggie on the head and laughed. “Thanks a bleedin’ bunch, Romeo.”
Phil reddened. “I mean not me, obviously. I’m a happily married man, with a baby on the way. But other men, y’know.”
Tina pointed at Paul as he sat in the driving seat. “Like him?”
“Yeah, I mean. He’s sort of, well he’s not – well, he’s sort of in a relationship, but it’s complicated.”
“Is that right?” said Tina, in a teasing voice.
Phil nodded. “I mean, he keeps messing it up and that, but if he ever sorts himself out. You see—”
“OK,” said Paul loudly, “that’s enough of this line of conversation, I think.” He pulled the van over to the side of the road. They were just off Eustace Street. Paul took some notes out of his wallet. “As agreed, two hundred euros.”
Tina took it. “Cheers. Sorry it didn’t work out.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. We’re going to have to stay here for a bit. I’ll call you a taxi if you like?”
Phil turned to look at Paul. “What do you mean we need to stay here?”
“We’ve got work to do.”
“What?”
“Remember how I asked you how you rob a bank in broad daylight when they know you’re coming?”
Phil looked around. “We’re robbing a bank?”
Paul sighed. “No, Phil. Remember how last week we talked about metaphors?”
“What you’re doing is talking in riddles.”
Paul took out his phone. “So, will I call you a taxi?”
Actually,” replied Tina, “if I hang about, will I see that Harrison cock-muppet make a proper idiot of himself?”
“You just might do.”
Phil looked from Paul to Tina and then back again – as if watching a tennis rally. “How in the hell is she going to see that?”
There was a knock on the back door of the van.
Paul nodded back at it. “Tina, would you mind?”
Tina opened the door and Brigit climbed in.
“Hiya. You must be Tina?”
“I am.”
They shook hands.
“Ah for…” Phil walloped the dashboard. “Brigit is involved now? Seriously, what in the hell is going on?”
I’ll explain in a second,” said Paul. “Did everything go alright at your end?”
Brigit nodded. “Yep. And on yours?”
Paul nodded. “Kevin Kelleher legged it out of there like something was on fire.”
“Well, Anto was certainly feeling the cold when I left him, so I’d imagine he needed big brother to come save him.”
“Seriously,” said Phil, “you two are working together again?”
They both looked sheepish.
“Sort of,” said Paul.
“In a manner of speaking,” said Brigit.
“This is doing my head in.”
“Look,” said Paul, “we didn’t tell you everything because, well, you aren’t going to like part of the plan.”
“I’m not currently liking any of the plan.”
“Can I take your dog for a walk?” This was Tina.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I like dogs and she’s got a nice vibe going on.”
Paul looked down at Maggie. Previously, her “vibe” had not been something that people had commented positively upon.
“Sure,” said Paul.
“Oh no,” said Phil, causing the other occupants of the van to look at him in surprise. “I mean, as a soon-to-be father of a daughter, no disrespect, but I don’t want you wandering around this kind of area at this time of night. There are a lot of drunken men around.”
There was a moment of embarrassed silence before Brigit stepped in.
“Ehm, Phil, I’m sure Tina here is well able to take care of herself.”
“I know, no disrespect meant to you at all now, Tina. Just, y’know, in this job you see how badly men behave.”
“It’s not like that comes as a shock.”
“And,” continued Brigit, pointing down at
the dog, “she is taking Maggie – as in Maggie – for a walk.”
Phil nodded. “Right. Yeah. Point taken. Still though, somebody needs to explain what the plan is, as apparently what I thought was the plan isn’t the plan.”
Paul looked at Brigit. “He’s going to hate this.”
Brigit grinned. “Don’t look at me! You tell him.”
“Somebody better tell me something soon or my head is going to explode!”
“OK, Phil. Seeing as Kelleher was watching Harrison like a hawk, we figured there was a good chance he’d catch Tina here in her attempts to… y’know.”
“Right,” said Phil.
Brigit pointed over Paul’s shoulder, to alert him to the taxi that was pulling up outside of the Phoenix Apartments building opposite.
“So, how you rob a bank when they know you’re coming is that you pretend to rob it…”
They all watched as Jacob Harrison exited the taxi.
“And then when they think they’ve caught you…”
“You rob it for real,” finished Brigit.
Phil watched as someone else got out of the taxi behind Harrison.
“Ah no.”
Brigit nodded. “Yep.”
Chapter Fifty-Three
As the lift doors closed, Jacob Harrison attempted to push himself against her.
The redhead slapped him in the face and pushed him back. “No. Not yet.”
Harrison rubbed his jaw. “You’re a crazy bitch, you know that?”
“Shut up. When I want to hear you talk, I’ll tell you. To be clear, when we’re doing it, I don’t want to look at your stupid face, and when we’re done, I want you to get the hell out.”
“Fine by me. I don’t even know your name.”
She gave him a humourless smile. “I know.”
The doors opened on the top floor.
“You’re in the penthouse?”
She walked out of the lift, not looking back. “Well spotted. The ladies must go wild for your keen mind.”
She took a key out of her bag and quickly unlocked the door. She pushed it open and stood to the side. “Get in.”
“I love it when—”
“Shut up. I’ve no interest in what you think is charm.”
Harrison moved inside. He really hated this woman.
She closed the door behind them and leaned against it. He moved towards her only to be kneed in the knackers.
“Jesus.” Harrison collapsed onto the carpet.
“That’s for the crack about woman my age back in the bar. I’m going to change into something that is frankly far too good to be wasted on the likes of you. Get yourself up. There’s a jacuzzi out on the balcony. If you’re not in it naked in two minutes, this whole sick affair is over and I’ll call security and have you thrown out.”
Harrison stared at her high heels as she walked away, disappearing through a door at the far side of the suite. With difficulty, he gradually pulled himself off the floor. The room was incredible: a sunken lounge area, a kitchen behind a glass wall, tasteful furnishings in red and cream, a TV that was bigger than his car. He picked himself up and staggered towards the balcony, dropping his jacket on a sofa and unbuttoning his trousers.
Her mocking voice carried behind him. “So, tell me what you’re going to do to me, big boy.”
Harrison opened the balcony door, and a cold breeze ripped into him. He quickly slipped out of his shirt. He looked down at Dublin stretching away beneath them. God, he felt so damn alive.
“I’m going to…”
Over the next three minutes or so, Jacob Harrison proceeded to tell her exactly what he was going to do, as he undressed and plunged into the bubbling hot waters of the jacuzzi that sat on the balcony, enjoying the relief from the biting December chill. This place was bloody amazing.
He was talking, a stream-of-dirty-consciousness, making promises that even a part of his drunken, lust-filled brain realised were very probably impossible, both to him and quite possibly to any man. Still. He was angry, he was horny, he was…
She appeared at the door, wearing a robe, her arm stretched above her head as she leaned against the doorway.
He growled at her.
“OK, that’s enough. Is that enough?”
The last question wasn’t directed at him. It was directed at the four figures who had appeared behind her.
He recognised the man who had appeared at the window when he’d been having his massage. Kelleher had later told him it was Paul Mulchrone. Beside him was a woman, holding a camcorder. “Oh yeah,” she said. “I’d imagine between this, and the cameras there, there and there…”
Numb, Harrison watched as she pointed at a small red light in the corner of the balcony and a couple more dotted around the room behind her.
“We have very detailed coverage of Mr Harrison’s recovery from his fears of – what was it? Oh yes, sex, heights and water. Quite miraculous.”
Beside her stood the girl Harrison had known as Rebecca. She waved at him. She was also holding a German Shepherd on a lead. It was so incongruous, he’d later wonder if he’d imagined it. Behind her stood a lanky bloke, holding his hand over his eyes.
The redheaded woman pulled off a wig to reveal that she actually had a short auburn bob. “OK, that’s a wrap, kids. Can someone get this idiot out of my hot tub.”
“Ehm,” said Mulchrone, “you know it’s not actually yours.”
“You’ve rented this place for the night, Paulie, and I intend to make full use of it. Abdul is coming over as soon as you’re gone.” She looked back at Harrison. “I guess we’ll have to change the water.”
The lanky bloke finally spoke. “Ah Jesus, Auntie Lynn, would you stop embarrassing me?”
“Embarrassing you? This is the thanks I get?”
A dim distant part of Harrison’s brain noticed that the redhead also now sounded a lot less drunk, and had a lot more Dublin in her accent.
She turned back to Harrison and threw him a towel. “Seriously, bugger off, there’s a good lad. Oh, and just as an FYI…” She pulled open her robe. “No man has ever turned this down!”
“JESUS!” That was the lanky one again.
She closed her robe again. “Oh calm down, Phil, I’m allowed to have a bit of fun.”
“Not that.” He held his phone up. “I got a message. There’s a message. I have received a message. Oh Jesus, oh Jesus, oh Jesus.”
Paul looked him up and down. “I think you finally broke Phil’s brain, Auntie Lynn.”
“I’m not your auntie.”
“Sorry, I keep forgetting.”
Brigit stepped forward and took Phil’s phone out of his hand. “Oh crap.”
“What?”
“It’s from Da Xin. Her contractions have started.”
For the first time, the redhead looked panicked. “For Christ’s sake, get my clothes!”
Chapter Fifty-Four
Brigit and Paul stood side by side on the balcony, watching the snow. It was falling gently, the flakes dancing down towards the street below.
Brigit watched on as Phil and Auntie Lynn rushed across the street beneath them towards the van, Tina and Maggie scampering to keep up.
“Why is that Tina girl going?”
Paul shrugged. “I think because she’s attached to Maggie and Maggie decided she was going.”
“Ah,” said Brigit. “At least she can drive the van. I don’t think either Phil or Lynn are in the best state to do so.”
“Should you be criticising other people’s driving?”
Brigit shot him a look.
He gave her a nervous smile.
Then they watched as Jacob Harrison emerged onto the street and skulked away like a beaten dog.
“Now there goes a man who is not having a great Christmas,” said Paul.
“Oh, I dunno. I think he’s getting exactly the Christmas he deserves. By the way, do I want to know how much this room is costing the company?” asked Brigit.
Paul winced.
“I seriously doubt it. To be fair, the options of places with a jacuzzi were pretty limited.”
“I can imagine. We don’t really have the climate for it.”
As they watched on, the MCM ice cream van made a phenomenally illegal U-turn that was greeted by a cacophony of car horns.
A familiar voice carried up on the cold winter’s breeze. “We’re having a baby!”
“So…” said Brigit.
“So…” said Paul.
“I should get going. I need to get back to Leitrim for Christmas and I should get moving before this snow starts messing up the roads.”
“Right, yeah. How’s your da?”
“Grand. Loved up, weird as that is to say. Him and the new girlfriend are going great guns.”
“Are you alright with that?”
Brigit thought about it. “Yeah, yeah, I suppose I am. I mean, it’s weird, but it’s good weird. Life’s too short to spend it regretting stuff or moping about and…”
She stopped talking as he leaned across and kissed her.
She kissed him back.
Then she pushed him away. “And what was that for?”
“Life being too short.” He gave her a nervous smile. “So here’s the thing – I’m an idiot.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“I’m an idiot who loves you and I’m an idiot who is truly sorry for, well, y’know…”
“Being an idiot?” finished Brigit.
“Yeah. That. I almost messed everything up and…”
“Keep going.”
“And… and if you’ll let me, I’d like to spend the rest of my life being less of an idiot.”
“Is this your way of asking for your job back?”
Paul shrugged. “I guess.”
“Well, you can’t have it.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“OK.” Paul nodded. “No, that’s fair. I did mess up badly.”
Last Orders (The Dublin Trilogy Book 4) Page 26