by Leanne Banks
“Maybe it was because Jase introduced us. I’m not sure.”
“Something happened,” he guessed.
“Adam, that’s enough. I don’t want to talk about it. If I could have gotten another doctor to come this morning, I would have.”
“To avoid an awkward situation.” He was trying out that statement to see if it sounded true.
“Yes.”
“Or...to avoid the idea you might still be attracted to me if you saw me again.”
“No.”
“You answered that one much too quickly. Maybe you need to think about it a little more.”
She pushed her food around on her plate. “I don’t need to think about it at all. I’m not looking for a relationship. And if I were, it wouldn’t be with someone like you,” she said honestly.
“Someone like me, meaning what?”
“Someone who’s never around. You said yourself you don’t believe in commitment, that family life isn’t something you even know. We’d be incompatible, from start to finish.”
“It depends on what we’d be starting, and what we’d be finishing.”
His words on their own weren’t seductive, but they made her blush, because the underlying message was clear. He was thinking about sex.
“Tell me your fondest dream for five years from now,” he suggested.
She never thought that far ahead anymore, not in her personal life. “I don’t have that dream worked out.”
“I think you do. Close your eyes.”
“Adam.”
“Do as I say. Close your eyes.”
So she did.
“Five years from now, where are you living?”
That stopped her for a few seconds, and then she realized this was a dream. “Somewhere outside of town where I’d have some open space. I want a fireplace for cold nights that I can sit in front of with someone I love, and a porch that would be large enough for a very nice swing that my kids could enjoy, too.”
“How can that ever happen if you’re too busy with your practice and The Mommy Club doesn’t leave much time for parties or a social life?”
Her eyes popped open.
“Your goals are divided. On one hand you want to save the world, on the other you want to find somebody to love.”
“Adam, you don’t know me. We had...what? A half-hour conversation?”
“And a half-hour make-out session. Do you think I can’t tell from that how a woman feels, what she might find important? We did talk, Kaitlyn. It wasn’t earth-shatteringly personal. But we talked. And believe it or not, I listened. You enjoy being part of a group practice, not only because you’re not always on call, but because you have camaraderie.”
He had been listening. He didn’t stop there. “Jase introduced us because he said you and his wife were good friends. He pointed to the wine you liked best and said I might like to try it, too. When we tasted it together, you said you like visiting Raintree, walking through the vineyards—”
She held up her hand, like the stop sign it was meant to be. “All right. You proved you listen.”
“Did you?” he asked.
Uh-oh. Her mind had been filled with regrets and recriminations that night, wanting to prove herself in a way she hadn’t in a long time. Just how much did she remember from before their kiss?
“Jase mentioned you met him in Kenya, that the famine wasn’t the only problem, that the water in the refugee camp was tainted and the children were getting sick from that, too. You were trying to find a good water supply and convinced the villagers that your team could engineer it.”
“Score one for you,” Adam said, as if he expected no less.
“You also said you were on layover for two weeks, and you didn’t mention you had a sister.”
“I had dinner with Tina on that trip back here, but it wasn’t high on my mind that night.”
“You weren’t wearing a ring.”
“You weren’t, either, but you had worn one at one time. The skin on that finger was lighter. It had been a wide gold band.”
Kaitlyn suddenly pushed her dish away. “I think we should stop with the questions now. If you want to get the crib put together, now’s probably a good time. I can watch Erica if she wakes up.”
“You’re running again,” he said.
“And you’re being too nosy. Just because I came to help you, doesn’t mean—”
“It doesn’t mean that you’ll kiss me,” Adam filled in, with a twinkle in his eye. Then he pushed his plate away, too. “You’re right. I’d better take advantage of the quiet time and get that crib put together. We can only hope that someone with a Ph.D. can figure it out.”
Thirty minutes later, the crib was assembled. Adam had seemed skilled at putting it together even though he’d never done it before. Kaitlyn helped by fitting the sheet onto the mattress. Then Adam laid Erica on it.
“Are we sure she’s okay?” Adam asked her.
“She’s just as worn-out as you are.”
“If she sleeps this much now, she’s going to be awake at midnight, isn’t she?”
Kaitlyn gave a small laugh. “Now you’re catching on.”
“I’m a quick study. I’ll have to make sure I set more than one alarm at intervals so I wake up to check on her. Maybe I should buy one of those baby monitors the next time I go shopping.”
“Are you going to wheel her into the bedroom?”
They both looked in that direction and then at each other.
“Would you like to see how I don’t have it decorated?” he asked, with his brows lifting and lowering.
She laughed. “Not unless you need help pushing the crib in.”
He shook his head. “No, I’ll crash on the sofa tonight. I want to be near the bottles and formula, the diapers and anything else she’ll need.”
He was putting the baby’s comfort before his, and Kaitlyn admired that. She thought again about her responsibilities with The Mommy Club—her responsibility to make sure Erica got the care she needed, and Adam got the help he needed. That his sister did, too, for that matter. Families were what The Mommy Club was all about.
She had office hours tomorrow morning and a meeting at the hospital in the afternoon. She’d already be in Sacramento. The question was—did she want to get more involved or didn’t she? Adam could still have a rough night with the baby and that wouldn’t make tomorrow any easier for him.
“I’m going to try to call Tina again,” he said. “It’s almost nine. Maybe she’ll pick up.”
“You think her guard will be down because it’s later in the day?”
“Maybe.” He took his phone from his belt and left another message for his sister.
That call, and the expression on Adam’s face—as if bracing for a storm—had Kaitlyn say, “If you’d like, I’ll go with you to Tina’s apartment tomorrow.”
He came around the side of the crib to where she was standing. “You want to see where Tina lives in case she comes back?”
“That’s partly my reason.”
He was closer now, towering above her, sex appeal oozing from him. “What’s the other part?”
“It’s not as if you’re a complete stranger, Adam. I care about what happens to you.”
“Well, that’s an admission. Did you think about me this past year?”
Oh, no. She wasn’t going to admit that. “I really should be going, and you should catch a nap if you can while Erica is still sleeping. You might need it later.”
He narrowed his eyes and studied her. “You know, when Jase first introduced me to you, you seemed cool and hid behind a polite reserve. But once we started talking and laughing and joking, Kaitlyn, I saw what was underneath it, and you know I did.”
“You’re not what you seem to be,
either, Adam. I looked you up on Google. I found photos of you with beautiful women on your arm at community and charity functions. I knew about that track scholarship to UC Davis. But I also discovered you were in an accident when you were in college and you were charged with reckless driving. The girl in the car with you was pretty seriously hurt. The custom-made suit and the boy-next-door flirting hid all that.”
She thought Adam might defend himself, that he might tell her what had happened because she knew as well as anyone there was never just one side. But he didn’t. His jaw tightened, the nerve in it worked and he stayed silent.
Finally, he broke the stalemate. “So that’s why you don’t think I’m fit to take care of Erica.”
“I want to make sure your care is the right care.”
“And if you don’t think it is, you’ll call in someone more official.”
She was a doctor. She’d have no choice.
“Fine,” he snapped. “Do you want to meet me there or do you want me to pick you up?”
She retrieved her purse. “I have office hours in the morning and a meeting at the hospital in Sacramento in the afternoon, so I can meet you at your sister’s apartment around three if you give me the address.”
Without a comment, he went to the table by the sofa where a cordless phone sat along with a pad of paper. He jotted down an address and tore the paper from the pad with a swift jerking movement that told Kaitlyn he was angry. He handed it to her.
Kaitlyn went to the door but he didn’t follow her. He stood at Erica’s crib looking down at her.
Kaitlyn let herself out.
Chapter Four
The tension between Adam and Kaitlyn was obvious as he carried Erica’s car seat into Tina’s apartment in Sacramento and Kaitlyn followed. He didn’t know why her opinion of him mattered, but it did. Glancing at her, he thought about their conversation before she’d left last night. He’d almost explained exactly what had happened that night when he’d been twenty-one, stupid and in love. However, he considered the possibility that Kaitlyn might not even believe him.
He’d shaken off the bad-boy rep after one of his science profs had truly captured his attention. He’d become interested in earning a graduate degree in something that mattered and a life that could take him away from Fawn Grove, from a broken family, from an accident that had changed his life more than his girlfriend’s. Sherry hadn’t hesitated one instant when he’d stepped up and said he’d been driving. A career in law had been her sole goal. That’s why he’d accepted the blame. So she wouldn’t lose her dream.
Adam had paid a fine, done community service and worked hard to make sure every hospital bill was paid, missing a semester of college. His father had made sure Sherry had received the best care. She’d come out of the whole thing without a spleen, with a broken leg and the aftereffects of a concussion.
Before the police and paramedics arrived, she’d promised Adam she’d never drink and drive again. He knew he’d never let anyone drink and drive again if he could help it. But the whole true story had never come out. He’d taken the blame. His reputation hadn’t been a big deal. Hers had.
But telling all that to Kaitlyn...
It just seemed a waste.
He set Erica’s carrier on the kitchen table in Tina’s cramped apartment as they looked around. This apartment didn’t look much different than his condo had yesterday. There was a pile of laundry on the sofa that looked clean, one next to it that looked dirty. Dishes and mugs were strewn about as well as a few baby bottles. There was one bedroom and he and Kaitlyn both peeked into it, their shoulders brushing.
Kaitlyn’s gaze met his, and he thought he saw regret there. Regret that she’d told him she knew his background?
He moved back toward his niece.
“This looks as if she left impulsively,” Kaitlyn said.
He understood why she’d say that. The bed was unmade. Tina’s clothes were scattered here and there along with more of the baby’s. There wasn’t an inch of the apartment that didn’t look like bedlam. The way the inside of Tina’s mind was working?
“This isn’t her. She’s not like this. Tina’s as neat as a pin. I used to kid her, because even when she was little, she kept her clothes color-coordinated in her closet. When she came to see me at college, she packed her suitcase the same way.”
“Adam, you’ve experienced firsthand how a baby can turn your life upside down. That obviously happened to Tina. One day she had a life without a child. The next day, she was a mom with twenty-four-hour responsibility...a lifelong responsibility. That can be scary and earth-shattering, and altogether overwhelming.”
When Adam didn’t respond, she asked, “What does Tina do? For work, I mean.”
“She’s a paralegal. She told me her boss was giving her three months maternity leave. Apparently she had enough money saved between what Jade left her and my father’s gifts.”
“So she has to find day care she can trust.”
“Yes.”
“Do you know if she has a best friend, if she’s friends with anyone at work?”
“When she graduated and got this job, she mentioned it was a small law firm and everyone else was older. I think she lost contact with most of her high school friends. Many of them went on to four-year colleges.”
“Has she lived here since her mother died?”
“She and Jade shared an apartment. My dad subsidized it until Tina got a job, then she insisted she wanted to be on her own. She wouldn’t take my help, either. She’s a responsible young adult, Kaitlyn. That’s why none of this makes any sense.”
Kaitlyn gently touched his arm. He felt that touch in every fiber of his being.
“It does make sense,” she explained. “In a world of hormones and after-pregnancy feelings. But she has to want help for you to be able to give it.”
“Or for The Mommy Club to give it,” he muttered. “Can you watch Erica for a few minutes while I search through Tina’s desk in her bedroom? Maybe I can find a clue as to where she’s gone.”
“Sure, I can. Or if you need help, I can just bring her in.”
“I’ve got this,” he said with that determined note Kaitlyn recognized. He didn’t want to need anyone else.
She wandered about Tina’s apartment, very different from Adam’s. There were lots of pictures standing about, mostly of Tina and of a woman who Kaitlyn guessed was her mom. There were also photos of Tina and a younger Adam, photos of Tina and Adam with a man whom Kaitlyn assumed might be his father and Tina’s stepfather.
There was already a photo of a newborn Erica propped beside the TV. Some hospitals provided those photos, but Tina had gone to the trouble of framing it and setting it in a prominent place. Not something an uncaring mom would do.
When Erica began fussing a little, Kaitlyn scooped her from the pink leopard lining of the car seat and carried her into the kitchen. She couldn’t resist holding a baby. Doing it was always bittersweet. Yet she looked forward to the day when she might have her own child in her arms.
On the refrigerator, she spotted magnets for take-out food services, but not much else. Feeling helpless, Kaitlyn returned Erica to her car seat, gave her arm a tender stroke and then started straightening up. At least that was something she could do.
When Adam returned to the living room, he noticed right away. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. Did you find anything?”
“No, just some work-related notes with her laptop. She’s planning to return to work November 1.”
“If she’s making plans, that’s a good sign.”
“Those plans obviously changed.”
Adam’s look was pensive, and Kaitlyn knew he was thinking plenty of thoughts he wasn’t sharing with her.
“What are you thinking about doing?” she asked caut
iously.
He looked over at Erica, around the apartment and then back at Kaitlyn. “I’m thinking about calling a private investigator.”
That was well and good, but there could be repercussions. “How do you think Tina will feel if she knows you put a private investigator on her trail?”
“She’ll know I care...that I want to find her.”
“She’ll also know you didn’t trust her to come back on her own.”
“Whose side are you on? You insinuated she might not want to come back.”
“And if she doesn’t want to come back, and you drag her back, what will happen then?” Kaitlyn asked.
“I don’t know, but at least I’ll be able to talk to her.”
“And convince her to do what you want her to do?”
“Erica needs her mother and I need—”
“To be free of all of it?” Kaitlyn filled in.
“You do think the worst of me, don’t you? No, I don’t want to be free of all of it. I want to be sure Tina and Erica are having a good life.”
“What happens in a month if nothing is settled, and you still don’t know where Tina is?”
She thought he might get angry, might even blow his top. Maybe she was testing him to see exactly how he would react.
Instead of becoming angry at her questions, he crossed to Erica and looked down at her as if all he wanted to do was protect her. “I’ll work out something. I always do.”
She wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but she didn’t have time to question him further because her phone buzzed. When she saw the number, she said, “It’s Sara Cramer—Jase’s wife. Do you mind if I take this?”
He shrugged. “Go ahead. I’ll wash up the dishes.”
Kaitlyn answered the call. “Hi, Sara. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Did you finish with your meeting?”
“I did, and now I’m...” She hesitated. “I’m in the middle of a situation.”
“For The Mommy Club?”
“Yes.”
“But you can’t talk about it.”