by Leanne Banks
Like with everything he did, he moved with an easygoing confidence, and Lauren followed his lead when the music suddenly slowed to a ballad.
“You can dance,” she said, and relaxed a little.
“I’m half Italian,” he replied against her ear, as though that was all the explanation he needed to offer.
She couldn’t help smiling. “Are you one of those men who is good at everything?”
He pulled back a little and Lauren looked up. His mouth twisted. “I guess I’ll let you judge that for yourself.”
His words wound up her spine like a seductive caress. Suddenly, she sensed they weren’t talking about dancing. With the beat of the music between them and the memory of their kiss still hovering on her lips, Lauren was drawn into the depths of his dazzling blue eyes. As a lover, she imagined, he’d be passionate and tender and probably a whole lot of fun. Of course, she’d never know. But still...a little fantasy never hurt anyone.
“I’m sorry about before,” he said, and held her close.
He regretted their kiss? “Sure. Forget about it. I have.”
His breath sharpened. “I meant that it was hardly the place to start something like that. I hadn’t planned on kissing you for the first time while two hundred people were within watching distance.”
“So you planned on kissing me at some point?”
“After what happened at your brother’s wedding, and all the time we’ve spent together since, I really don’t think we could have avoided it.”
Her brother’s wedding? Was he referring to what he’d overheard her say to her friends? How she’d thought about him naked? Conceited jerk. “You’re not irresistible, you know.”
“I’m not?” he queried, and rested a hand on her hip.
Lauren could feel him smile as her forehead shadowed his chin. “No.”
He chuckled. “So I guess that means you won’t want me to kiss you again?”
Her belly fluttered. “Exactly. You have to remember that we want different things.”
“That’s right. You’re still looking for Mr. Reliable?”
“Yes. And not Mr. Roll-in-the-Hay.”
“Too bad for me, then,” he said, still smiling. “Incidentally, have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”
“You mentioned it.”
Lauren couldn’t help smiling. Their banter was flirty and harmless. Nothing more would happen unless she wanted it to. Gabe was charming and sexy, but he also oozed integrity. And she might have been tempted to sleep with him. If she didn’t like him. But she did like him. A lot. Too much. And with her heart well and truly on the line, a night in his bed wouldn’t be worth the risk, despite how much she wanted it.
“You’re easily the most beautiful woman here tonight.”
It was a nice line, even if she did think he was being overly generous. The song ended and Lauren pulled back a little. “Thank you for the dance.”
“My pleasure.”
As he walked her back to her table, Lauren was very aware that her mother was watching them. She could almost see Irene’s mind working in overdrive. Cassie wasn’t at the table, and she immediately asked after her friend.
“I think she went inside to collect her bag,” her mother explained, and then patted the vacant seat, inviting Gabe to sit down.
“Be back in a minute,” Lauren said, and walked from the marquee.
She found Cassie in the clubhouse upstairs, sitting on the small couch in the corner of the same room the models had used earlier as a dressing room. There were rails filled with gowns along one wall and shoes were scattered across the floor. Her friend looked up when she came through the doorway.
“Everything all right?” Lauren asked.
Cassie had her arms wrapped around her abdomen and grimaced. “It’s nothing. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Lauren’s gaze moved to Cassie’s thickened middle, and she walked across the room. “Are you in pain?”
“I’m fine,” Cassie replied, and then clutched at her abdomen with both hands.
Suddenly, her friend looked the furthest from fine that Lauren had ever seen.
“What is it?” she asked and dropped beside the sofa. “What can I do?”
Cassie shook her head. “I don’t know...I don’t know what’s wrong. It might be the baby.”
There were tears in her friend’s eyes, and Lauren quickly galvanized herself into action. Falling apart wouldn’t help Cassie. “You need to see a doctor. I’ll get Cameron to carry you into my car, and then I’ll take you to the hospital.”
She turned on her heels and headed for the door. Evie, Grace and Mary-Jayne were at the top of the stairs talking. “What is it?” Evie, the original earth mother, asked, and stepped toward the room.
“Cassie’s ill.”
The three women were in the room in seconds, and Evie touched Cassie’s forehead with the back of her hand. “She has a temperature.”
Cassie doubled over and gripped her belly. “It hurts so much. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose my baby.”
“It’s okay, Cassie, you’ll be fine. I’ll ask Cameron to—”
“Grace, M.J.,” Evie said quickly, and cut her off. “You’d better go and find Gabe.”
Gabe?
Both women nodded and backed out of the room. Lauren waited until they’d disappeared and turned her attention back to Evie.
“Evie, I’m sure Cassie would prefer my brother to get her to the hospital.”
Evie shook her head. “She needs a doctor. Right now.”
“I agree. But I can’t see how—”
“Lauren, Gabe is a doctor.”
When Gabe entered the room, he spotted Lauren standing by the narrow sofa, comforting her friend. She looked at him, and his chest instantly tightened.
She knows....
Damn. But he’d known it was bound to come out eventually.
He wavered for a second before quickly turning his attention to the woman on the sofa. He asked Cassie a series of questions, such as how severe was the pain, was it constant or intermittent, was she spotting. And as Cassie quietly answered, he felt Lauren’s gaze scorching the skin on the back of his neck.
It was hard to stay focused. Memories of that terrible night in the E.R. flooded his thoughts, and panic settled in his chest. Just do it. That night another pregnant woman had needed his help, and he’d failed her. But he couldn’t fail Cassie. Not when Lauren was watching his every move. This was Lauren’s closest friend. She’d be inconsolable if anything happened to her.
It was all the motivation Gabe needed to pull himself together. Instinct and experience quickly kicked in, and he asked Cassie to lie back on the sofa. He gently tilted her to her left side and asked questions about the position and intensity of the pain. He then quickly checked her abdomen. After a minute he spoke. “Okay, Cassie, I need you to relax and take a few deep breaths.”
Cassie’s eyes were wide with fear. “Do you think it’s the baby? I don’t want to lose my baby. I can’t...I just can’t... Not when Doug is so far—”
“You’ll be okay. Both of you,” he assured her and patted her arm. “We’ll get you to the hospital.” He turned toward Evie. “Call an ambulance. Tell them we have a patient in her second trimester with probable appendicitis.”
Cassie let out a sob. “Do I need an operation?”
He nodded and squeezed her hand. “It’ll be all right. You and your baby will be fine.”
By the time the ambulance arrived, Gabe had Cassie prepared, and they were ready to go. Lauren volunteered to collect some of her friend’s things from her home and meet them at the hospital. Gabe spoke to the paramedics as they carefully loaded Cassie onto the stretcher, and then he followed in his truck.
By the time he reached the hospita
l, Cassie was already being transferred to the surgical ward and was being prepped for an emergency appendectomy.
He’d been in the waiting room for about forty minutes when Lauren walked through the doorway. She’d changed into jeans and a blue shirt and carried a small overnight bag in one hand. She came to a halt when she spotted him.
“Is she in surgery?” she asked quietly.
Gabe got to his feet. “Yes. Is there someone we should call?”
“Only Doug, her boyfriend,” she replied and placed the bag on the floor. “He’s a soldier on tour, and I don’t know how to contact him. I guess I could check the numbers stored in her phone. She doesn’t have any real family of her own other than her grandfather, and he’s in an aged-care home and suffers dementia. Doug has a brother in South Dakota, so I could call him if anything...I mean, if something...” Her eyes shadowed over. “If something goes wrong with Cassie or the baby.”
“She’ll pull through this,” he said, fighting the urge to take Lauren into his arms.
“Do you know what’s happening to her?” she asked coolly.
“You mean the surgery?” He drew in a breath. “They’ll probably give her an epidural or spinal anesthesia as it’s safer than general anesthesia.”
“And the baby?”
“The safest time for a pregnant woman to have surgery is during the second trimester. Cassie is seventeen weeks along, so she and the baby should be fine.”
“Should?” Lauren’s brows shot up. “Is that your professional opinion?”
It was an easy dig. “Yes.”
She dropped into one of the vinyl chairs and sighed heavily. “I feel like such a fool.”
“Lauren, I wanted to—”
“It’s so obvious now,” she said, and cut him off dismissively. “That first night when I picked up Jed and I got the splinter. And the old lady on the beach. And then when my dad sprained his ankle.” She made a self-derisive sound. “How stupid I would have sounded to you, prattling on about how you’d make a good paramedic. What a great laugh you must have had at my expense.”
Guilt hit him squarely between the shoulders. She had a way of making him want to tell her everything. “I wasn’t laughing at you.”
She met his gaze. “No? Then why all the secrecy?”
Gabe shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a little complicated.”
“Handy cop-out,” she said, clearly unimpressed. “I thought we were...friends.”
I don’t know what we are. But he didn’t say it. Because he didn’t want to be her friend. He wanted to be more. And less. He wanted to take her to bed and make love to her over and over. He also wanted to stop thinking about her 24/7.
“I lost a patient,” he said, and heard how the hollow words echoed around the small room. “So I took some time off.”
Her expression seemed to soften a little. “Oh...” He could see her mind ticking over, working out a way to ask the next question. “Was it because of something you did wrong?”
“Indirectly,” he replied and sat down opposite her. “It was around midnight and I’d worked ten hours straight. I left the E.R. for a while, and when I was gone, a young woman was brought in. She was pregnant and hemorrhaging, and a second-year resident treated her. Unfortunately, the patient and her baby died.”
She stared at him. “How awful.”
“Yes,” he said, remembering the event like it was yesterday. “It was a terrible tragedy. And one I will always regret.”
“You said you weren’t there at the time,” she said, and frowned. “Which means it wasn’t actually your fault.”
Guilt pressed down. “It was. Even though I wasn’t the only doctor in the E.R. that night, I was the attending physician on duty, and I should have been there when I was needed the most. A less experienced resident was forced to handle the situation and because of that, a woman and her child died.”
It wasn’t an easy truth to admit. And it sank low in his gut like a lead weight. It didn’t matter how many times he replayed it over in his mind. He should have been there. His arrogance and self-importance had been the reason he’d failed the patient. The blame lay at his feet. And his alone. If he’d followed his own doctor’s advice, he wouldn’t have returned to work so quickly. Instead, he’d ignored everything and everyone and done it his own way. With fatal consequences.
Her eyes widened. “Were you sued?” she asked. “Was there some kind of malpractice suit? Is that why you quit being a doctor?”
Gabe’s stomach tightened. Quitter. He’d called himself that over and over. But it had been easier leaving medicine than swallowing the guilt and regret he’d experienced every time he walked through the hospital corridors.
“There was an inquiry,” he said, and ignored how much he wanted to haul her into his arms and feel the comfort of her touch, her kiss, her very soul. “The hospital reached a settlement with the woman’s family. I wasn’t implicated.”
“And the other doctor?”
“She was suspended and left the hospital soon after.”
Lauren twisted her hands in her lap. “Would you have saved the patient if you were there?”
Gabe took a deep breath. “I believe so.”
“But you don’t know for sure?”
He shrugged lightly. “Who can know anything for certain?”
Her gaze was unwavering. “But as a physician, wouldn’t you be trained to deal with absolutes? Life or death. Saving a patient or not saving a patient. There are no shades of gray. It’s one or the other, right?”
Her words cut deep, and he wanted to deny the truth in them. “I can’t—”
“So tell me the truth,” she said, and raised her brows. “Why did you really quit being a doctor?”
Chapter Eight
Lauren pushed aside the nagging voice in her head telling her to mind her own business. She couldn’t. He was a mystery. A fascinating and infuriating enigma. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything.
Because...because she liked him. As hard as she’d tried not to, she was frantically drawn toward Gabe. The kiss they’d shared earlier that evening confirmed it. She hadn’t planned on having feelings for him. But now that she had them, Lauren was curious to see where it might lead. He was attracted to her.... Perhaps it might turn into more than that. Maybe he’d reconsider his no-commitment position. Just as she’d begun to rethink her own plans for wanting a relationship based on things other than desire or love.
Love?
Oh...heavens. I’m in big trouble. The biggest. Desiring. Liking. Loving. Her once broken and tightly wrapped-up heart had somehow opened up again. And she’d let him in. Even if he didn’t know it.
“I told you why,” he said, and got to his feet.
Lauren watched him pace around the room. The tension in his shoulders belied the dismissive tone in his voice. “You told me you felt responsible for losing a patient that wasn’t directly your patient. How is that your fault? How is that a reason to throw away your career?”
He stilled and stared at her for the longest time. Lauren knew she was way out of line. He would have been well within his rights to tell her to go to hell. But she knew he wouldn’t. There was something in his expression that struck her deeply, a kind of uneasy vulnerability she was certain he never revealed. Not to anyone.
“Walking away from that life was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done,” he said quietly. “I don’t expect you or anyone else to understand my reasons.”
Lauren drew in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like I’m judging you. I’m not,” she assured him. “It’s just that I...I guess I...care.”
He didn’t budge. His blue-eyed gaze was unwavering. Only the pulse in his cheek indicated that he understood her meaning.
“Then, don’t,” he said
, and crossed his arms. “We’ve been through this before, Lauren. You want something else, something and someone who won’t give you grief or pain or disappointment. That’s not me. If you waste your heart on me, I’ll break it,” he said, his voice the only sound in the small room. “I won’t mean to...I won’t want to...but I will. I’m not the middle road you’re looking for, Lauren.”
Humiliation and pain clutched at her throat. But she wouldn’t let him see it. “Sure. Whatever.” She stood and grabbed the bag at her heels. “I’m going to check on Cassie.”
She left the room as quickly as she could without looking as if she was on the run. Once she was back in the corridor, Lauren took several long gulps of air. Her nerves were rattled. Her heart felt heavy in her chest. She made her way to the cafeteria and stayed there for the next hour. She was allowed to see Cassie when she came out of surgery, but her friend was groggy and not very talkative. By the time Lauren headed home, it was past midnight.
Gabe’s truck was not in the driveway, but she heard him return about twenty minutes after she did. She didn’t want to think about him.
If you waste your heart on me, I’ll break it....
It was warning enough. She’d already had one broken heart when she’d lost Tim. Lauren wasn’t in the market for another. He’d made his feelings, or lack thereof, abundantly clear.
* * *
After a restless night where she stared at the ceiling until 3:00 a.m., on Sunday morning, Lauren headed off to the hospital. Seeing Cassie lifted her spirits.
“You look so much better today.”
“Thanks,” Cassie replied, and sighed.
Lauren placed the flowers she brought on the small bedside table. “When are you getting out of here?”
“Tomorrow,” her friend replied. “The surgery went well, and the baby is okay.”
There was a huge look of relief on Cassie’s face, and Lauren smiled. “I’m so glad to hear it. Did you manage to reach Doug?”