by Leanne Banks
There were tears in her mother’s eyes when she’d finished speaking. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’m glad to hear you want to be happy. After Tim’s death and then with James...I wondered if you’d ever risk your heart again. But you did. And I’m very proud of you.”
Lauren shuddered out a long breath. “I did risk my heart, Matka. He just didn’t want it.”
* * *
On Saturday night, Gabe paced the rooms of his house like a caged bear. She’d gone out again. The same car had arrived to collect her at six o’clock. It was now close to ten, and she wasn’t home. He tried painting the last of the bedrooms to take his mind off Lauren and her date and imagining her doing who knows what. When that didn’t work, he poured bourbon he didn’t drink, ordered pizza he didn’t eat and ignored the two calls from Aaron on his cell.
He fell asleep on the sofa and woke up at midnight with a cramp in his neck. The lights were off next door and the realization that Lauren might have decided to stay out all night cut through him with the precision of a knife. By morning, Gabe was so wound up that he pulled on sweats and sneakers and ran for a solid hour, only caving when he got a stitch in his side. He jogged home, showered and changed into worn jeans and T-shirt and downed two cups of strong coffee.
When his mother arrived at ten, minus Aaron, he knew he was in for a sermon. He sat in the kitchen, cradling a mug of coffee and waited for it.
And got it in spades.
“I’ve been talking with Irene Jakowski,” she said so matter-of-factly, she got his immediate attention. “And we’ve decided that we need to knock some sense into the pair of you.”
Gabe actually laughed. “Mom, I think you and Mrs. Jakowski should stop colluding and accept the inevitable.”
“And what’s that? You’re unhappy. Lauren’s unhappy. The only thing that’s inevitable is that it’s going to stay that way unless you do something about it.”
“She’s moved on,” he said, and pushed the mug aside. “Which is how it should be.”
“Stubborn as a mule,” his mother said, and tutted. “Just like your father.”
“Realistic and sensible,” he replied, and half smiled. “Just like you.”
“Gabriel,” she said with deliberate emphasis. “I’m going to say something I never thought I would ever have to say to you.” She drew in a long breath. “Stop being such a coward.”
“Mom, I—”
“All your life you’ve done the right thing. As a child, you never got into any serious trouble. You did well at school. You studied hard. You stayed away from the wrong crowds. You really were a pillar of strength when your dad died. Afterward, you pulled the family together. You were the glue, Gabe. I was so very proud when you got into medical school and then even more so when you became such a wonderful doctor. But I was so busy being proud, I failed to see that I’d relied on you too much.”
His throat thickened. “You didn’t, Mom.”
“I did,” she said. “And all that responsibility took a heavy toll on you. While Aaron was acting wild and chasing girls and Luca was sticking his head into a computer to avoid thinking about what we’d all lost, you worked hard and got on with things. And I think a part of you closed down because of that responsibility. Aaron is charming and says whatever’s on his mind, and Luca is all moody and mysterious and cross...but you don’t let anything or anyone touch you.”
She sighed and reached across the table to grasp his hand. “You got sick. And you should have shouted and complained and blamed something or someone...but you never did. You kept it inside and locked everyone else out. We were all falling apart at the idea of losing you, and you kept us at arm’s length. Then you went back to work and something terrible happened.” She squeezed his fingers. “You’re not to blame, son. But the only way you’re ever going to believe that is if you talk about it and share it and forgive yourself. And to do that, you need to let someone in.”
Someone. Lauren.
“I can’t,” he said quietly. “I can’t do that to her. Not after what she’s been through. I can’t promise her everything and potentially leave her with nothing. Not like Dad—”
“Nothing?” his mom said, and cut him off. “Do you think your father left me with nothing?” Her eyes glistened. “Gabe, your dad left me everything. He left me four incredible children and the memories of a wonderful life. Do you honestly think our marriage was defined by those last few years?”
Did he? Had he been so wrapped up in making sure they still worked as a family that he’d forgotten what it was like before his father became ill?
“I don’t, not for one minute,” his mother said earnestly, “resent a single moment of the time I spent caring for your dad when he was sick. He was my husband and the father of my children. He was my rock. My center.” Tears welled in her eyes. “And I was honored that he trusted me when he was at his most vulnerable and let me care for him right up until the end.”
Gabe swallowed the emotion in his throat. He remembered what Lauren had said to him about trust. She’d said Tim hadn’t trusted her. She said he didn’t trust her, either. And she was right. He didn’t trust easily. Because he was afraid. Of being really seen. Of being considered less than strong and whole. Of being weak. And Lauren saw through that. She saw it all and had still wanted him. And like a fool, he’d pushed her away.
He looked at his mother. “You asked me a question a week ago, and I lied to you.”
Her eyes widened. “What question?”
“You asked me if I was in love with her.”
Claire Vitali smiled. “And are you?”
Gabe took a breath, felt the air fill his lungs and give him strength and nodded. “Yes, I’m completely and hopelessly in love with Lauren Jakowski.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lauren was with a client on Monday afternoon and had finished lacing up the back panel on a beautiful beaded lace gown when a deliveryman arrived, carrying an extravagant floral arrangement. Her first thought was that they were from Steve, and although she considered it a bit too much after only two dates, flipped open the card and looked for his name.
Wrong.
No name. Just a message and an initial.
“Can we talk? G.”
Not from Steve. He wasn’t trying to change her mind about seeing him again. He’d texted her that morning to arrange another date. A text she’d put off replying to because she didn’t want to lead him on. Then he’d called, and she’d declined his offer to go out that week. He was nice. But that was all. He’d taken her refusal easily and wished her well for the future.
She looked at the message again. Gabe. And he wanted to talk? As far as she was concerned, she’d said all she intended saying. They were done and dusted. She tossed the note in the trash and told Dawn, the salesclerk, to take the flowers home.
There was a note pinned to her door when she arrived home. “I would really like to talk with you.” More talk? She scrunched the note in a ball and tossed it over the hedge and onto his front lawn.
Flowers arrived again the following day. Her mother and Dawn thought it was incredibly romantic. So did Cassie, when she relayed the story to her best friend. Mary-Jayne called her, too. And Grace. But she wasn’t going to be swayed. She didn’t want to talk to him. He’d had his chance, and he’d blown it.
On Wednesday, the flower deliveryman had a huge smile on his face when he entered the store. Lauren sent the young man away, flowers in hand, and felt an odd burst of triumph that she’d stuck by her guns. Of course, when she arrived home and found Gabe sitting on her porch steps, flanked by Jed, who wore a silly white bandana around his neck while Gabe held up a tiny white flag, her icy reserve thawed for a brief moment. Until she remembered he’d pushed her away time and time again.
“What’s this?” she demanded, and flung her bag over her sho
ulder.
Gabe smiled and patted the dog on the head. “I borrowed him from your brother. I needed an ally.”
She raised a brow and looked at the ridiculous flag. “You’re looking for a truce?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of a complete surrender.”
Her heart pounded. It was a romantic notion. But she wasn’t falling for it. “I hear your family’s still in town?”
“Yes,” he replied, and got to his feet. The dog followed and rushed toward Lauren. “My mother would very much like to meet you properly.”
“I can’t imagine why.” Lauren laughed loudly. “Since I intend to forget all about you, there’s no point.”
“You’ll never forget me,” he said, and stepped closer. “I’ll bet that you’ll remember me for the rest of your life.”
Lauren laughed again. Egotistical jerk. “Have you been drinking?”
“I’m perfectly sober. Why did you send my flowers back today?” he asked.
“Because I don’t want flowers or anything else from you.”
He reached out and touched her hair, twirling the strands through his fingers. “The flowers are just a place to start.”
“A place to start what?” she asked suspiciously as she pulled back from his touch.
“Our courtship.”
“Courtship?” She laughed at the old-fashioned word and thrust her hands on her hips.
He was drunk. There was no other explanation. And he looked as if he was thinking of kissing her. Which was out of the question. She stepped back and frowned. “Why on earth would I want to do that?”
Gabe smiled that killer smile. “How about because you’re in love with me?”
She laughed again, because she didn’t know what else to do amidst the madness. “You’re out of your mind. I’m going inside. Don’t even think of following me.”
“You didn’t deny it.”
“Because...because it’s too ridiculous, and because I’m tired of this conversation.”
She raced up the steps and fiddled with the door lock. She looked around, hoping he was gone. But no such luck. He stood at the bottom of the steps. Her body shook thinking about how handsome he looked, even holding the silly flag.
“I’ll be here tomorrow,” he said quietly. “Just in case you change your mind.”
She frowned. “Don’t you have to work?”
“I quit,” he said softly. “I’m going back to medicine. I start in the E.R. at Bellandale Hospital next month.”
“Good for you,” she said extra sweetly.
“Don’t you want to know why?”
She shrugged. “It’s not my business.”
He stared at her and didn’t bother hiding the wounded expression. But she had no intention of backing down. He didn’t have the right to simply snap his fingers and expect her to come running.
“I want to be the best man I can be...for you.”
“What’s the point?” she said flatly.
“Because I...I...”
“Good night, Gabe,” she said exasperatedly. She unlocked the door. “And incidentally, I think courtship is meant to start before two people sleep together. We’ve had this back to front from the very beginning, and that’s all the sign I need. And stop sending me flowers. I don’t want them or anything else from you.” Then she headed inside without looking back.
* * *
“Have you tried talking to her again?”
Romantic advice seemed to come out of the woodwork, Gabe discovered, when it became obvious to everyone he knew that Lauren wasn’t about to forgive him anytime soon. This time it was his mother, who’d decided to hang around in Crystal Point for another week and dispense counsel about his failures to get Lauren’s attention at every opportunity.
“Maybe it’s time I had a talk with her,” she suggested, and pushed her tea aside.
“You need another approach,” a voice said from the doorway.
It was Cameron. Great. He was in for the big-brother talk. “Your point?”
Gabe figured he’d tried every approach he knew. He’d been on her doorstep each afternoon for the past four days, and she’d simply ignored him and gone into her house and locked the door. There were calls she wouldn’t return, notes she wouldn’t read and flowers she sent back. And he had a diamond ring in his pocket he wanted to give her, but was convinced she’d toss it in the trash. Total emasculation wasn’t in his plans.
He’d wait. And hope she’d come around.
“No risk, no prize.”
Cameron again. And this time, Scott and Aaron were behind him. Gabe looked up and scowled. “What?”
“Is she worth it?”
It was a stupid question, and with his patience frayed, Gabe dismissed the question with a barely audible grunt.
“Is she worth risking everything for?” Cameron asked again, relentless.
Gabe straightened in his seat. “Yes.”
“Then tell her that.”
In that moment, Gabe realized that he’d been so busy trying to woo Lauren with flowers and dinner invitations, he’d neglected to do the one thing he should have done an age ago.
Tell her the truth. Risking everything meant telling her everything. Like she’d told him time and time again. She’d trusted him. First with her past, then her body and then her heart. It was time he did the same. Because she knew what he’d been through and hadn’t turned away. She accepted and wanted him. No questions. No prejudice. No fear. When, because of what she’d been through with Tim, she’d had every reason to run and not look back. But she hadn’t. She’d put her heart on the line and he’d smashed it. Instead of applauding her courage and embracing that love, he’d brought up a whole load of excuses and reasons why they couldn’t be together.
And one reason in particular.
Because he was scared of dying. Scared of living.
He let out a deep breath and looked at her brother. “So what’s your big suggestion?”
Cameron grinned. “Well, asking her to forgive you for being a stupid ass hasn’t worked, has it?”
Gabe thought about the flowers and the notes and the restrained effort he’d shown during the week. He talked about caring and wanting, and laughed at her attempts to ignore him. But he hadn’t told her what she wanted to hear. “Not so far.”
“Well, I reckon it’s time for you to start begging and prove to her you’ll do anything you have to do to win her heart.”
And that, Gabe thought with a weary laugh, might just work.
* * *
Lauren was ever thankful that Saturday mornings were always busy at the store. It kept her mind away from thinking about anything else. Or anyone else. Or someone in particular.
A bridal party arrived at ten for their final fittings, and when the bride emerged from the changing room in her dress, Lauren set to work, fluffing the three layers of tulle and organza before she adjusted the straps and stepped away so the client’s mother and attendants could admire her. When the fitting was complete and the bride was out of her gown, Lauren handed the client over to Dawn to process the sale and bag up the goods.
The bell above the door dinged and Lauren smiled when Cassie and Mary-Jayne entered the store.
“Hi, there,” she said, and looked at her friends. “What are you both doing here?”
Cassie grinned. “Reinforcements.”
“Huh?”
Her friend shrugged and kept smiling. “Trust me.”
“You know I—” The door opened again. The bell dinged. And Gabe’s mother walked into her store.
“Good morning, Lauren,” she said before Lauren had a chance to move. “I’m not sure if you remember me from last week—I’m Claire Vitali.” She grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently.
&nb
sp; Lauren stared at the older woman. She had the same eyes as her son, the same smile. There was kindness in her expression and warmth in her hand. Her resolve to stay strong wavered. But she wasn’t about to be easily swayed.
“It’s nice to meet you,” she said, and withdrew her hand. “I’d like to stay and talk but I have to—”
“It can wait,” Mary-Jayne said with one of her famous grins.
The door opened again, and Grace and Evie entered.
Lauren frowned. “What’s going on?”
“Reinforcements, like I said,” Cassie explained.
Panic rushed through her blood. Something was wrong. “Has something happened? Is it my dad, or Cameron or—”
“You’re father is fine,” her mother said as she emerged from the stockroom.
“So is your brother,” Grace added.
Lauren backed up. “I don’t think—”
“That’s just it, Lauren,” Cassie said gently. “Stop thinking. At least, stop overthinking. We’re all here because we care about you.”
She stilled as realization dawned. “So this is, what, an intervention? That’s why you’re all here?”
“Actually, I think they’re all here to stand point and make sure I do the right thing.”
Gabe...
She hadn’t heard him come through the door. He moved around Evie and Grace and stood near the counter. Lauren remained rooted where she was. Her legs turned to Jell-O. Her heart raced like a freight train. She looked at her family and friends. They were smiling, all hopeful, all clearly wondering what she would do next.
I wish I knew.
It was hard not to stare at Gabe. He looked so good, and she’d missed him. But he’d hurt her. And she didn’t want to be hurt again.