by Lib Starling
He was so forceful, so direct in the pursuit of his lone pleasure, that Roxy felt a stab of disappointment. She wriggled back from him, made an inarticulate sound of protest. It hurt – he was big, and this animalistic rutting wasn’t the way she had envisioned her first time.
At her protest, Chase stopped. He looked down at her with surprise, and she could see two forces warring behind his eyes – the frantic, possessive animal that wanted to claim her, and the sensitive soul who had opened her car door, who had held her hand in the wilderness of the tall grass.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out hoarsely. “Oh, Roxy, I’m sorry.” Now when he kissed her he was tender, covering her neck and shoulders with the gentlest, most worshipful brushes of his lips. “I just… for a moment I couldn’t control myself.”
“Just go a little slower,” she said. She almost added, It’s my first time. But she didn’t want him to think less of her, or to feel so self-conscious or guilty that he wouldn’t keep going. She wanted him to keep going – wanted it so badly that her back arched of its own accord, and she moaned as his cock rubbed against her in just the right way.
Chase smiled. His hand drifted again, but now it moved gently, rubbing over her slick wetness in time with his slow, easy strokes. Roxy blushed at the heat that filled her, then pushed her embarrassment away and rode the waves of fire. She panted, urging him on with wordless cries, arching and rocking as the waves built and built until at last they crashed around her like a rain of stars.
She had only a moment to collect herself, to shake the sparkling white specks from her blurred vision, before Chase dropped the hard hold on his meticulously controlled passion. He drove into her, harder and faster than before, his fingers locked like claws against her shoulders and his breath panting hot and rhythmic in her ear. Roxy gasped at the bestial strength of him, and reveled in the knowledge that she had done this to him – had turned him into a wild thing, hunting the prey of ecstasy with this single-minded desire.
At last Chase tensed, his rhythm slowed, and he groaned out his release, a sound that was almost a howl of victory. He fell against her body, his hands suddenly weak and trembling on her shoulders.
After a few minutes they rolled apart. In silence they struggled back into their clothes, and Chase flopped onto his back, one arm thrown over his eyes. Roxy looked down at him, biting her lip. She didn’t regret this – not for a moment. But would he regret it when she told him?
Carefully, she lay beside him. The grass crackled beneath them, and Chase pulled her close, burying his nose in her hair and inhaling deeply.
For a long time, neither spoke. In the deep blue sky above, the moon had risen, bright gold and just skewed of its full roundness. It held Roxy’s attention for a long while. She’d always loved the moon, always loved to watch it cycle through its phases. Often she had whispered her secrets to its face when no one else cared to hear. Under its familiar gaze, drawing confidence from its presence, she felt sure, all at once, that she could tell this secret to Chase.
“You know,” she said quietly, “that was my first time.”
He sat up abruptly, staring down at her with wide eyes. She felt a flutter in her stomach and feared that he’d be outraged, or saddled with guilt at the very least. Instead, he reached down and cupped her face gently.
“Roxy,” he said, “that’s… I’m honored. Though I wish you’d told me before – I would have been a lot nicer if I’d known.”
“Oh, you were plenty nice,” she said, stretching like a contented cat.
“So were you.”
His fingers delved down beside her neck, into the waves of her piled hair. He pulled up her necklace, smoothing a twist out of the chain. “You don’t want to get this all tangled,” he said, and seemed about to say something more, but then he took the gold medallion in his fingers and fell silent, staring.
“My mom gave me this necklace,” Roxy said. “I wear it all the time.”
Chase said nothing, only examined the medallion with an intensity that worried Roxy. Is something wrong with it? She grabbed it from him and stuffed it back down the neck of her green sweater, afraid to hear her mother’s gift ridiculed.
Chase blinked as if coming out of a trance. “I’m sorry – that was rude of me. I shouldn’t have touched it. Only I didn’t realize…”
“What?” She sat up, too, and traced his skin along the collar of his shirt. She caught the black cord of his own necklace and pulled it free. Chase flinched a little, but held still. “You have one, too.”
She bent close to look at his medallion, as he had done to hers. Roxy stifled an exclamation of amazement. Although it was made of silver and not gold, the medallion was so similar to her own that for a moment she went numb with shock. A similar animal face was etched into the metal, primitive and pointed, but something about its look said wolf very definitely.
“Just a Blackmeade thing,” Chase said, taking it from her fingers and tucking it away again.
“But it’s so much like mine. I’m not a Blackmeade student.”
“Maybe,” Chase said lightly, kissing her again and smiling, “your mother knew somebody from Blackmeade.”
Roxy shrugged. “Anything’s possible, I guess.” But she frowned with worry, and felt the roundness and ridges of her medallion through her sweater with trembling fingers.
Chase pulled her back into their grass bed and pillowed her head on his arm. “Nothing worth worrying about,” he said. “It’s a beautiful night, and we’re together. That’s all that matters.”
Roxy relaxed against him, feeling the warmth of their lovemaking coursing still within her veins. As they stared up at the sky, the blue of afternoon was replaced by the red fires of an especially brilliant sunset, and through that rare and lovely blaze, the moon sailed high and bright.
.9.
T he deep of night had unfolded by the time Chase turned off the paved highway, onto the long dirt road that led far into the foothills to the campus of Blackmeade University. He had dropped Roxy off at her house with a promise to call soon, and then spent another hour or two roaming the streets of Jackson, rocked by an inner turmoil that made his stomach clench and his hands ball into involuntary fists.
Alexander would know. Chase was sure of it. He wasn’t afraid to fight the Alpha House leader – he had made the decision to pursue Roxy (if giving in to a desire so potent Chase was almost blinded by her presence could be called a “decision”) and he would live with the consequences.
But he wondered – did Alexander know Roxy’s secret? Chase was certain now that the beautiful redhead was that impossibly rare treasure, a female shifter. He had felt that wild tension, the draw and desire of her totem spirit, calling to his own totem as they’d made love. Even if he hadn’t seen her stay medallion – final confirmation strung on a delicate golden chain – the power he’d sensed in her as they lay together in the grass would have been certainty enough.
If Alexander knew what a prize Roxy truly was, how far would he take his rage?
What have I done to Alpha House? Chase asked himself morosely. He was sure that tonight’s events – his theft of the gem Alexander had claimed for his own – would leave the brotherhood forever changed.
And yet, remembering the feel of Roxy in his arms, Roxy panting beneath him, Roxy’s totem twisting and tangling around his own, Chase’s guilt and worry disappeared in a flash as quick and sudden as lightning.
I don’t care. She is all that matters to me now – not Blackmeade, not Alpha House… and not Alexander.
He climbed the road that wound up the face of the foothills, and paused at the hill’s crest. The lights of Blackmeade Village glowed in the small valley below him, illuminating memories of the past three years. Not all his time at Blackmeade had been a drudgery. It was true, his ambitions lay outside the narrow confines of high-power business, the traditional realm of shifters the world over. And attending Blackmeade had been his father’s idea – his father’s insistence – not Chase’s ow
n. But he had made friends here – good friends, true brothers whose companionship and support would, he hoped, last a lifetime.
Even after I destroy the peace and order of my fraternity?
Chase sighed with regret and started down the hillside.
When he rolled into his usual parking spot outside Alpha Delta Phi, all the porch lights were on, but there were no signs of a party in progress. Chase slid from the Mustang and closed the door as quietly as he could. Farther down the road, beyond a few more quiet fraternities, Sigma Zeta was alive with bumping music, shouts, and laughter. Chase inhaled deeply. He thought he could detect the faint whiff of the Sigmas in the Alpha House yard. Had they been here tonight, slinging insults and taunts? If so, Alexander would be on edge. There was no love lost between Alexander and Jared, and if the two had had a confrontation already, then Alexander would be itching for a fight.
As Chase climbed the porch steps, two figures rose from the deep shadows beside the door. Even before his eyes adjusted to see their faces, he recognized them both by height: Darien, tall and statuesque, and Jack, wiry and small.
“Hey, guys,” he said.
Darien looked a little shamefaced in the porch light. “I guess you were with Roxy, huh?”
“Of course. You’re the one who…”
Darien jerked his head in warning, and Chase, with a glance at Jack, subsided. He sniffed the air again. “Sigmas were here?”
“Jared and a few of his fellow pricks. They were here taunting Alexander.”
“About what?” Chase asked slowly, not really wanting to know the answer.
“Roxy. Jared told him all about how he saw me with her at the town square.”
“So what? Everybody knows you don’t swing that way.”
“And then Jared told Alexander how hot Roxy thought he was – Jared, I mean. Said she was giving him a look and obviously wanted to fuck him.”
Chase stiffened. “Is that true?”
“Of course not,” Darien scoffed. “But it was enough to piss Alexander off, and that was all Jared wanted.”
“So Alexander’s not in a great mood tonight, I take it.”
“I’d stay the hell away from him if I were you,” Jack said. His voice was sullen – he had clearly already figured out what Chase had been up to with Roxy, and Jack just as clearly hadn’t yet forgotten his desire for her.
Chase sighed again. He shook his head. “I don’t think there’s any point to staying away.”
He moved past his friends and reached for the door knob. Darien’s hand fell on his wrist; Chase glanced up.
“Be careful,” Darien said. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
Inside, Chase found the living room empty. The kitchen, too, was silent. All the brothers must be scattered to their rooms, avoiding the air of sick tension the Sigmas had left in their oily wake.
Maybe I can get to my room and shut myself in quietly, stay there until the morning when Alexander’s temper has blown over.
But as he headed for the stairs, a creak from the upper story stopped him. Alexander appeared, descending like a king stepping from the lofty height of his throne – perfectly polished shoes and neat slacks first, then his cashmere sweater and broad shoulders, finally his cold, hard face and unsettling, ice-blue eyes. Chase could sense the slow, careful movements of his brothers emerging from their rooms, gathering at the head of the stairs to listen to the confrontation.
“Hello, Chase.” Alexander folded his arms over his firm chest.
“Hey.”
“You were out late tonight.”
Chase watched him steadily for a moment, unblinking and unshaken. “Yeah.”
“Where were you?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Chase said, frowning.
Upstairs, he could almost feel the brothers draw in a ragged breath of disbelief. No one spoke to Alexander that way.
Alexander took a step closer. A cold spark of fury flickered in his eyes. “I’m the leader of this frat,” he said, his voice calm and controlled despite the rage that danced like blue flames in his stare. “It is my business to know where my pledges are.”
He already knows, Chase realized without surprise. Perhaps Alexander could smell a woman’s sweet trace emanating from Chase’s clothing and skin. Or perhaps he just recognized the defiance in Chase’s face. He only wants me to say it.
“I was with Roxy,” Chase said casually.
Alexander was across the room in a second, his gritted teeth bared like fangs. Chase didn’t flinch, didn’t step away. In fact, he leaned into Alexander’s fury, fighting back a snarl of his own. Footsteps thundered down the stairs; the brothers came spilling into the room, sensing the crackling energy of a fight about to explode.
“Didn’t I tell you,” Alexander grated, “to stay away from her?”
Chase shrugged. “You did.”
“Then why didn’t you listen to me?” Alexander’s breath was hot with rage, and very close as he pushed himself nearer the target of his anger.
Chase shoved Alexander’s chest hard, sending him stumbling back into the arms of the brotherhood. “I didn’t listen,” he shouted, “because I don’t care!”
Alexander righted himself. For a moment he stood quivering, his face betraying his shock. In the three years since Chase had known him, no one had ever dared to lay a hand on Alexander – only Jack, who could only think to challenge his authority while roaring-drunk. Never had any of the brothers confronted Alexander while sober, nor had anyone done it with such deliberate, ostentatious boldness.
The leader tugged his cashmere sweater straight. “All right,” he said calmly as the brothers milled and jostled behind him. “If you’re challenging my right to lead…”
“I’m not,” Chase said quickly. “I don’t want leadership of Alpha Delta Phi.”
“I can’t think what else you’re trying to accomplish,” Alexander said with a quiet, cool laugh. “You disobeyed a direct order…”
“That doesn’t mean I want to lead.”
“Well, it certainly doesn’t mean you want to follow, does it?” Alexander eyed Chase from his disheveled hair to the soles of his old, worn-out sneakers. “Something has changed in you, Chase.”
A lot has changed. I know what I want now – my life has a purpose. And it doesn’t involve Blackmeade University or Alpha House.
But the fire of the confrontation was burning hot in Chase’s blood. He wouldn’t speak a word of what he knew, what he wanted – what he needed. Roxy herself didn’t seem to know that she was a shifter, and if Alexander hadn’t figure it out yet, Chase wouldn’t speed him to the revelation. It would only make the frat leader more violent, if he fully understood what he was missing – what Chase had stolen from his grasp.
Just the way he stole Katrina from me.
Only this was better – much, much better. Katrina had been beautiful, and a welcome distraction from the rigors of Blackmeade’s strict curriculum. But Roxy was no mere distraction, and her beauty went deeper than her surface. She was kind-hearted, brave enough leave her old life behind without any idea of what the future might bring, and touching in her trust – hadn’t she given Chase the gift of her first time? No, Roxy was not like Katrina. Her loveliness went all the way to her center, twisting around the secret totem that lived in her heart like the roots of a miraculous tree.
Chase wouldn’t give her up for anything. Now that he knew what he wanted, he would hold onto Roxy and to Hell with the consequences.
He gave Alexander a slow, mocking smile.
The pale blonde threw himself across the room, wrapping his arms around Chase’s shoulders before Chase could react. They hit the ground together and rolled across the floor, grappling; the interior of Alpha House, its mismatched furniture and the crowd of young men who stood watching, blurred and tumbled before Chase’s eyes. The slam of a fist caught his face, and a moment later Chase felt the pain of it. He kicked out hard and caught Alexander in the stomach; the leader gr
unted and rolled away, struggling to catch his breath.
Chase stood shakily. Alexander wobbled to hands and knees, still gasping, trying to push himself to his feet. Chase raised one foot to thrust Alexander back to the ground, but a strong hand landed on his arm, restraining him.
“Don’t,” Darien said.
“Why shouldn’t I?”
Darien leaned close to Chase’s ear. “Because what will Alpha House do with a disgraced leader? Who will lead us then? What will it mean to all your brothers if our House is weakened, and scorned by the rest of Blackmeade?”
Chase looked up from Alexander’s struggling body. His eyes found each of his pledge brothers in turn. Their futures depended on the success of Alpha Delta Phi – on Alexander’s success. Blackmeade and the business world may not be Chase’s dream, but he couldn’t destroy the hopes of his brothers.
Jack laid a hand on Chase’s other arm. “Take some time off, man. Get away for a while. Let things cool off here.”
Chase nodded. He needed to clear his head as badly as Alexander needed to regain control – over himself, and the fraternity. It was a good idea. “But where?” he asked.
“Get out into the forest,” Darien suggested. “Go be free for a while. It will do you some good.”
Chase stepped back from Alexander as the leader finally hauled himself up on his shaking legs.
“I’m leaving for a while,” Chase told him.
Alexander sneered. “Don’t hurry back, you insubordinate bastard.”
He held Chase’s stare for a long moment, the pale blue eyes locked with the deep black. Neither man blinked, but Alexander was the first to turn away. He limped stiffly toward the staircase, and the crowd of brothers parted around him, then closed behind his back, shielding him from Chase’s furious stare.