by Lib Starling
“Order anything you’d like,” Alexander said.
But Roxy had to forcibly stop her eyes from popping when she saw the menu. None of the entrees had prices listed – she figured that meant If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. She settled on alder-planked salmon, hoping her choice wouldn’t strike Alexander as either too tame or too extravagant.
Alexander sipped at his glass of fancy, microbrewed beer, his eyes shining with amusement as he watched her over the rim. Not yet twenty-one, Roxy had ordered only a sparkling water with lime, and she jabbed the ice with her straw, staring right back at Alexander, her chin lifting a little in an unspoken challenge.
Why am I agonizing over fish? I don’t need to impress this guy. He needs to impress me. The strange new force inside her seemed to like that thought. It gave a little quiver of warm satisfaction, like a creature curling into a ball deep within a safe burrow.
When their plates arrived, they ate slowly, talking of Alexander’s family and his post-Blackmeade plans. He’d be moving back east after graduation, to his hometown in Connecticut where he expected to take over a branch of his father’s finance empire, running it himself, calling all the shots. Roxy nodded, paying less attention to the conversation than to Alexander’s finely sculpted face, his strong jaw and straight nose, the intense allure of his light blue eyes with their startlingly dark centers.
Before she had quite realized it, the conversation had drifted to Alpha House. Roxy tore her eyes from Alexander’s chest, which she had been surreptitiously examining through his cashmere sweater as she poked at her salmon. She tried to recall what Alexander had just said. He’d asked her a question. There was no graceful way out of it – she’d have to make him repeat himself, exposing her bad manners and lack of attention to the conversation.
Well, it’s not my fault he’s so distractingly gorgeous.
“I’m sorry,” she said, blushing, “I didn’t follow…”
“I said, did Chase tell you at all where he’s going? I mean, I know for a time you two were…” Alexander cleared his throat, and his eyes went strangely flat as he picked up his glass of beer. “…close.”
“Were,” Roxy said with emphasis. “And no, he didn’t tell me anything. What do you mean?”
“He’s been talking lately – to other guys, not to me – about leaving the fraternity. I don’t know whether he means to try to pledge himself to a different House, or whether he means to leave Blackmeade entirely.”
“Oh,” she said, genuinely surprised now. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about it.”
Leave Blackmeade entirely? Something cold and sharp caught at Roxy’s heart. Just the thought of Chase no longer being near…. She shoved that thought away with vicious force. No, she would be glad if he left Jackson. The last thing she wanted was to see him flitting around town with Scarlett hanging on his arm. Even seeing Chase alone would infuriate her. He would be a constant reminder that after all her time spent outwitting the jerks of Hanover, defending herself against their cruelty, she had given her body and her heart to one of their kind, falling for his false charm like a perfect fool.
“Wherever he decides to go,” she said, proud of the easy neutrality in her voice, “I wish him well.”
Alexander gave her a long, searching look. It broke into a slow smile. “So you’re not hung up on him?”
“Hung up on him? Why would I be?”
“I just thought, because you two had…”
“Whatever you think we might have done,” Roxy said hotly, “isn’t any of your business.” She was feeling the old anger again, the long-seeded suspicion of everything and everyone associated with Greek life.
“You’re right,” Alexander said at once. He bowed a little over his plate, a debonair apology that only made him all the more appealing. “I apologize. It’s none of my business, and I’m sorry for prying.”
“It’s… it’s all right,” Roxy said. It wasn’t typical for men of Alexander’s sort to apologize, nor to look abashed as he did now. But Roxy wasn’t stupid enough to let her guard down again. Not with a frat boy.
Alexander laughed a little, shaking his head at his own rudeness. “It’s only that… well, I really like you, Roxy. And I’d like to get to know you better, but if you still have feelings for Chase, I wouldn’t want to step in where I’m not welcome.”
Roxy remembered Scarlett perched on Chase’s knee, and worse still, the look of languid ecstasy on his face as he’d stroked Scarlett’s hip. Her anger flared up, the force inside her leaping and twisting as it had done on the porch of Alpha House when Darien had tried to calm her. She sucked down the last of her sparkling water and rattled the ice cubes in her glass in a curt, decisive way.
“I don’t have feelings for Chase,” she said.
Alexander smiled.
After dinner, they parked the Ferrari on a hilltop above the town, watching the lights of Jackson flicker against the violet-shadowed earth as the stars came out high above. Fall was well on its way, and the night was cold. Roxy hugged herself as she got out of the car and leaned against its low hood, smiling a little sadly at the beauty of the dark valley.
I wish Chase… she thought, but stopped herself.
Alexander came around the car to sit beside her. The heat from the cooling engine was enough to drive back the chill, and Roxy allowed herself to feel some contentment in spite of the ache that still lurked deep in her heart.
They gazed at the lights in silence for several minutes, then finally Alexander turned to her. Roxy thought he would speak, but he only looked – holding her firmly with the charismatic force of his penetrating eyes. She shivered, and not only from the cold. But she felt somehow that it would be unacceptable to look away from Alexander – rude, violating some ancient law that was bigger and more powerful than either of the two of them.
In the silence, Roxy swallowed hard.
“You must know,” Alexander said, his voice low and silky, “that I’ve wanted you from the moment I first saw you.”
Roxy said nothing, but she hugged herself tighter.
“There’s something special about you, Roxy – something I can’t place. Something other girls just don’t have.”
Alexander leaned close, so close that Roxy could feel his breath brushing lightly against her neck. He inhaled. Roxy wasn’t one to wear perfume, but somehow her scent seemed to enflame him. He held his breath and shuddered, his body quivering with suppressed ecstasy. The moment sent a twin thrill racing up Roxy’s spine, half victory over Scarlett and Chase – and half fear. Alexander’s shoulders hunched and his eyes closed tightly; he seemed to be struggling to master himself, and Roxy, fighting the eerie force with which his eyes had held her, inched away from him.
Alexander’s eyes never opened, but he reached out to catch her arm as she moved away.
“Don’t.” His voice was sharp with command, and trembling, Roxy held still.
“I’ve known since I first saw you that you would be mine,” he whispered.
Roxy shook her head, helpless to look away from him.
Alexander shuddered, as if some animal force moved within him, too, and he grew increasingly powerless to contain it. His pale eyes flashed open. “Whatever you did with Chase,” he said, his voice dropping to a growl, “whatever you gave to Chase, you’ll give to me, too.”
“No!” Roxy tore her arm from her grasp and sprang to her feet. What she’d given to Chase had been special – heartfelt and sincere, even if he hadn’t felt the same way. She wouldn’t lie back and let Alexander have his way with her just because he was jealous of Chase.
Roxy thought of Brooke back at home with a pang of longing, but her phone was in her purse, which was inside the car. She twisted toward the door handle, but Alexander skidded across the hood of the Ferrari and grabbed Roxy by the arm again.
He tossed her back toward the car, as carelessly as if she were a rag doll. Roxy’s lower back struck the edge of the hood; she lost her feet and sprawled across
it, the heat of the engine pulsing across her back, her eyes filling with tears that blurred out the sight of the stars.
Chase, she thought desperately. As badly as he’d treated her after the fact, at least Chase hadn’t tried to rape her. Roxy balled her hands into fists and when Alexander’s pale form lurched above her, stark and icy against the night sky, Roxy swung hard at his face.
He deflected one punch, but didn’t see the other coming. The sting of Roxy’s knuckles was almost as satisfying as Alexander’s grunt of pain. He clapped his hand to his face. Roxy tried to push herself out from under him, but he turned on her with a feral snarl. The starlight gleamed on his teeth – teeth that looked long and sharp. His eyes seemed to glow with a fierce light, and the sound that erupted from his throat was like the thrashing, brutal growl of a fighting dog. He caught one of her hands and pinned it to the hood; she jerked the other out of his grasp and flailed at him, trying to scratch at those wild, malevolent eyes.
As they brawled, the golden chain he wore beneath his sweater spilled free of his collar. In her desperate struggle, Roxy’s fingers tangled in the chain. She gave a yank, more to free her hand so that she might defend herself than to break the necklace – but Alexander gasped as loudly as if she’d punched him in the stomach, and he hesitated.
Roxy stared up at him for one panicked heartbeat, then, sensing her advantage, she twisted her hand, wrapping the chain tighter. She pulled again, hard, trying to break it this time, and Alexander’s body jolted like an electrical current had raced through him.
“Wait,” he said breathlessly. His eyes were distant and glazed, his mouth tight with concentration. “Stop. Please.”
“Why?” Roxy shouted in his face. “Why should I stop? You wouldn’t stop!” She yanked on the necklace again; Alexander gave a howl of pain and tried to thrash away from her, but Roxy, tangled as she was in his chain, followed.
“I’m sorry,” Alexander said rapidly, panting, his eyes wide with terror, clutching desperately as Roxy’s wrist. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“You haven’t begun to be sorry yet.” She tightened the chain without yanking, and he whimpered.
“Now,” Roxy said, staring into his frightened eyes, “take me home.”
.7.
A lexander tried to apologize several times on the drive home, but Roxy was in no mood to listen. She’d checked her phone the moment she was back inside the Ferrari, but as she had feared, there was no signal high in the foothills, so far above the streets of Jackson. She had no real option but to allow Alexander to drive her home, though she would have preferred to have Brooke pick her up.
She was too angry to be afraid, and in any case Alexander seemed frightened enough for both of them. Again and again he told her that he hadn’t known what had come over him, though Roxy, squinting at him from the corner of her eye, was sure he’d known all too well, and had chosen not to control himself.
Somehow she had taken control of Alexander herself – by threatening to tear off his golden chain. What made the chain so deadly important to Alexander? Had it been a gift from a beloved relative, as was the necklace Roxy’s mom had given her? Or did it hold some greater significance? In any case, she knew what she’d do if Alexander tried anything again. She would go directly for his chain, and this time she’d yank so hard it would shatter into a thousand pieces.
When he pulled to a stop outside her house, Roxy gathered up her purse without a word.
“I truly am sorry, Roxy,” Alexander said. He sounded pained, embarrassed – but not half as hurt or ashamed as she would feel if he had succeeded in forcing himself on her. She gave him one cold stare, then exited the Ferrari with a hard slam of its door.
Chase would never have tried that, she seethed as she made her way up the path to her house in the darkness.
Or would he? Chase was apparently the kind of man who would string her along only to dump her for her hot friend as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Just like Alexander, he wasn’t the man Roxy had thought him to be.
She couldn’t help slamming the front door, too. With it safely between her and Alexander, she slumped against it, all her starched anger draining out of her, leaving her limp and shuddering. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.
“Oh my God,” Brooke said. Roxy heard her rushing forward, then Brooke’s arms wrapped tight around her shoulders. She pressed her face against Brooke’s old, paint-stained sweatshirt and soaked it with her tears. “What happened?”
“Alexander,” Roxy choked.
“Alexander what?” Brooke sounded dangerous, deadly serious – but Roxy couldn’t bring herself to say any more.
She felt another touch on her shoulder and looked up in surprise. Darien was there, holding out his arms for a hug, too. Roxy reached for him and clung to both her friends, weeping until her tears were spent.
When Roxy had caught her breath, Brooke led her to the couch and sat her down, and she and Darien settled on either side. They watched her with stern, worried faces, like a pair of gargoyles glowering over a precious treasure.
The coffee table was littered with the remains of Brooke’s popcorn, and the TV was muted, rolling the credits to a recently finished film. The simple homey atmosphere and the presence of her friends relaxed Roxy a little; she sighed and leaned back into the couch.
“After we went out to dinner,” she said slowly, “we drove up into the hills. It was nice a first, but soon Alexander started talking about… about Chase and me. He said he wanted what I’d given Chase, and then he became… strange. Like an animal, out of control.”
She sniffed loudly and dropped her eyes. Darien wore his maroon Blackmeade hoody, and for some reason Roxy couldn’t look away from a small tear near the cuff of one sleeve. In her misery the rip in his sweatshirt seemed mesmerizing, significant – perhaps because Darien was usually so neat and careful. It seemed wrong that his shirt would be torn, as wrong as Chase’s sudden attachment to Scarlett, as wrong as Alexander’s brutal force.
Darien smacked a fist against his palm. “That bastard.”
“He didn’t get anywhere,” Roxy said. “I fought him off.”
“You shouldn’t have had to fight him off.”
“Amen,” Brooke muttered, pulling Roxy close. “Why didn’t you call?”
“By the time I realized that I had no signal on my phone, I had the situation under control. I figured it was better to get him to drive me home rather than wait around for you to come get me, even if I could call you.”
Darien shook his head. “Some of the guys in the frat… you can’t be too careful around them. I didn’t know you were going out with Alexander until after you’d already left. I was really worried about you, when Brooke told me you’d left with him.”
“He was freaking out,” Brooke verified.
“If I’d known where you guys planned to be, Brooke and I would have followed you and snuck around in the shadows to keep an eye on you.”
“I’ve always known frat boys were potentially dangerous,” Roxy said. “I just didn’t know how dangerous they could be.”
“We’re not all bad,” Darien said, smiling.
“I’m pretty sure you’re the only one at Alpha House who’s worth a damn.”
“Chase really isn’t a bad guy. I don’t know why he’d ditch you like he did, though. Going after Scarlett – that wasn’t like him at all. Chase is safe for any girl to be alone with. I’d stake my life on that. But I couldn’t vouch for any of the others. Not with absolute certainty.”
“Not even for your fearless leader, huh?” Roxy said with a bitter laugh.
“Alexander?” Darien scowled. “Especially not that lily-white prick.”
Roxy looked at Darien with genuine surprise. “I thought he was your friend.”
“I’m not sure anybody at Alpha House would call Alexander a friend. We respect him – at least, I did respect him, until tonight. But respect isn’t the same thing as friendship.”
“I don
’t get it,” Brooke said. “If nobody likes this date-rapey asshole, then why is he the leader of your fraternity?”
Darien was quiet for a moment, watching the movie’s credits scroll with a distant, thoughtful expression. “We decide things differently at Blackmeade. Leadership there is more a… a right, I guess you could say, than something that’s granted because of friendship. Alexander has natural ability. That’s why he leads. He was born to it; it’s his gift. Most of the rest of us don’t have that gift, and so we have other roles to play within the brotherhood.”
Roxy remembered with a shudder the command in Alexander’s voice, in his eerily pale eyes. She remembered how she had been unable to look away from him, even when she’d wanted to shove him and run. “I know what you’re talking about,” she said quietly.
Darien considered her for a moment, then tucked a strand of her rumpled hair behind her ear. “Yeah. I guess you do.”
“Chase has it, too, doesn’t he? That gift, I mean – leadership.”
Roxy didn’t know why she brought up Chase. The last thing she wanted to think about was him, but it seemed he was all she could think of now, his gentle touch, his respectful words, his playful, affectionate teasing. She wanted him with her now. She wanted the comfort of his presence, wanted him beside her to drive away the memory of Alexander’s hands gripping her, throwing her, pinning her down.
But that comfort – that respect – had been an illusion. The knowledge of it was enough to break her heart anew. She resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands again, and looked at Darien, searching his face for confirmation of her suspicion.
“Yes,” he admitted. “Chase came to Blackmeade just a few weeks late, after regular admission. By that time, Alexander had already taken his place as the leader of Alpha Delta Phi. I’ve often wondered what the brotherhood would be like if Chase were in charge. I think we’d be better men for it – stronger, more focused, more united. But maybe it’s better this way; Chase has seemed so distracted this year, like he can’t decide what to do, or where he belongs. He’s been talking about leaving lately.”