“So, she’s going to keep it?”
“She’s named it already!” I said, coughing up smoke.
Bones covered his mouth to hide the laughter.
Bastard.
“Seriously, man, I’m drowning here,” I cried, taking a long drag of the joint. “My life isn’t cut for a kid. I don’t even have a car! What am I supposed to do? Strap a sidecar onto my bike?”
He took the joint from my hand and outright laughed at me. I glared at him and flipped him the bird.
“Look, you’ve got nine months to figure it out. Isn’t that how long a woman is pregnant for?”
Nine months of freedom.
Nine months to live the rest of my life.
Nine months wasn’t a very long time.
“It could be worse, bro,” he said. “At least your baby mama is hot as hell,” he took another puff. “That’s a plus,” he continued.
“Dude, I have a baby mama. Just stop right there,” I sighed heavily. “Man, I don’t want a kid. I don’t know the first thing about being a father. My old man was never around, always chasing a dollar or a dream. He thought being a father meant handing me a trust fund,” I explained. “I never had a dad so how the fuck am I supposed to be one?”
Bones crushed the joint into an ashtray and looked back at me.
“You do everything he never did,” he urged. “You man the fuck up because twenty years from now you don’t want your kid saying the same words you just did.”
Twenty years from now? I couldn’t think about twenty minutes from now.
“Don’t do that shit,” he criticized. “Don’t be my old man.”
Bones’ dad skipped out on him and his mom before he was even born.
And then there was Lauren’s dad who dipped out on the Bianci’s.
I stared at Bones.
“You got a kid coming, man. That’s huge. That’s bigger than you, bigger than your girl, bigger than anything you’ve ever known. I know the club is everything to you right now and you worked real hard for your patch but this, you becoming someone’s father? It’s bigger than the club,” he paused, leveling me with a stare. “Own that shit,” he said, patting me on the back.
“You’ll figure the rest of this shit out as it comes to you but get on board brother, because once that train leaves the station you will be sorry you missed it,” he said, as he started for the door.
That was some deep shit right there. I thought about his words and wondered where they came from. Right now everything seemed out of whack and all I wanted was for things to get back to the way they were. Before Lauren. Before Pea. But his words, they rang in my ears, nagging me and making me wonder if one day I’d look back on this and regret everything.
I haven’t lived a life of regrets and wasn’t going to start now.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“The morgue,” he said flatly.
“What?”
“Jack’s brother needs to be buried. I’m meeting the funeral director and setting it up for him. One last thing he needs to worry about.”
“Any word on Blackie?”
“No change,” he said. “You heading over there?”
“Yeah, after I go buy a fucking refrigerator.”
“You’re buying a refrigerator?”
“Yeah, and your ass is hauling it with me to my apartment,” I demanded.
“I don’t work for free, brother. It will cost you,” he said, laughing as he walked out the door. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bianci’s downstairs waiting for you,”
Of course he was.
Then I felt the color drain from my face.
“The brother not the mother, right?”
He laughed, ignoring my question as he kept on walking.
“Bones,” I called out.
“Man the fuck up, Riggs,” he shouted back.
I picked the joint out of the astray, lit it up and took another greedy pull before I faced the wrath of Bianci. He was sitting at the bar, his hands folded and his head down.
Was he praying?
I shook my head and pulled out the stool beside him.
“Where is she?” He asked.
“Upstairs,” I replied, turning my face to meet his gaze.
“I should kill you,” he pointed out.
I shrugged because it didn’t seem like a bad alternative.
“You could do that I suppose, but I won’t go down without a fight,” I replied.
“Yeah? What would you be fighting for?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, daring me to answer.
“What do you think I’d be fighting for?” I asked incredulously. “World peace? My fucking life.”
“Wrong answer,” he said.
“Yeah, well, school was never my strong suit,” I muttered.
“Pay attention, because I’m about to school you on something,” he warned, twisting in his stool so he was facing me. “The next time I ask you what you’re fighting for, you’re not going to give me any wise crack remark and your answer won’t be your life because your life don’t matter no more,” he continued, eyes sharp as they bore down on me. “You got a kid on the way, a kid that’s my niece or nephew, and the only reason you will keep breathing is because I won’t be the one who takes your life. I won’t be the one that make’s that kid grow up without a father, but if you turn around and decide not to be that kid’s father all bets are off,” he threatened.
I leaned into him and my eyes pierced his.
I was nobody’s bitch.
“You forget I’m the one who stood by your side twenty-four seven, making sure you kept breathing,” I fumed. “Don’t fucking threaten me Bianci because I’ll piss on your threats and shove them right back down your throat when I’m done. Your mob card, your tough guy act, it won’t work here,” I ground out. “This shit between me and your sister, it’s none of your business and until I ask for your goddamn input, stay the fuck out of it,” I ordered.
He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms against his chest before he nodded.
“Pretty strong words you got there, Riggs,” he said, cocking his head to the side unfazed.
“Try me, Bianci and those words will turn to actions,” I replied. “Your sister is a grown woman, stop fucking coddling her and let her be her own person. Give her that respect.”
“What do you know about respect?”
“Fuck you,” I ground out. “You think because I got your sister pregnant I disrespected her in some way—it wasn’t like that,” I explained.
Not that he deserved an explanation, but I was feeling generous.
I was losing my fucking mind.
“I’ve got respect for Lauren. I think she’s great. I didn’t plan on a kid, but shit happens,” I argued.
“It’s not about you, Riggs. It’s not about Lauren, either. You’re right she’s a grown ass woman, and she needs to take control of her life, I’ll give you that,” he started, pulling out his phone, turning the screen toward me. “It’s about that baby you created with my sister and it’s about being someone that baby can depend on and look up to.”
I glanced down at his phone and saw the picture of his kid, the one that wasn’t even biologically his.
“I changed my whole life for this boy and there isn’t an ounce of regret in me because he deserves it,” he said, tucking his phone back into his pocket. “Your kid deserves the same,” he added.
I should spit on him for telling me to change who I was.
I wouldn’t, and more importantly I couldn’t, because he was defending my kid. He was sticking up for my kid, fighting for Pea, and teaching me a lesson. I could learn a thing or two from Anthony Bianci.
He was a good guy to have in your corner and my kid was lucky to have him.
Not me.
Him.
That was pathetic.
It was wrong, and it made me want to prove to him I could be better. I could be more than just
the asshole deadbeat dad they thought I’d be.
“I’m trying,” I said.
“It’s all I ask,” he replied.
Yeah, Pea was damn lucky to have him as an uncle.
Pea needed a dad like that.
Pea needed me.
Bones was right.
I needed to own that shit.
Or at least try to.
For Pea.
Chapter Nineteen
“I don’t know why you’re insisting on living here,” my mother chastised.
For the millionth time.
After I explained to her that Riggs and I spoke and agreed to work together and co-parent, she started giving me shit. I can’t say I don’t totally agree with some of the things she’s said, like, when she warned me about keeping my guard up. Or when she told me fairytales don’t really exist and Riggs may say one thing now and do another later. I suppose she’s jaded by my father and the way he left us high and dry. I wonder if she wasn’t a woman scorned if she’d feel the same way.
“I don’t trust that scoundrel, why keep an apartment if you’re not going to live in it?” She asked, as she hung some of my clothes up in the closet.
I had Anthony take some of my things from the storage locker out this morning. There wasn’t much, but I had kept my bedroom set, and when Mia and I went our separate ways, I won the sofa in the split. Actually, she told me to take it all because she wasn’t planning on leaving her mom and dad’s house unless she had a ring on finger. Mia didn’t do adult very well. But hey, it works for me because I have a couch.
I plopped down on the couch and unpacked some of my clothes as my mother walked out of the bathroom.
“At least it’s clean,” she said, placing her hands on her hips as she fixed me with a look.
“You don’t think he has a wife or a bunch of kids he’s hiding and that’s why he has this place do you?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow in an attempt to really drive her point home.
I rolled my eyes. My mother really was supportive in a crisis. She could make me feel better with all her reassuring words.
Not.
I heard a commotion from the door and jumped to my feet, peering through the peep hole to see Riggs shouting at someone down the flight of stairs outside our apartment. Our apartment. Fucking weird.
“What’s going on?” My mother asked, nosily.
Shit.
“It’s Riggs,” I turned around and wagged my index finger at her. “Be nice!” I warned.
She scoffed.
Yeah, this was going to be fun.
Before I gave myself an anxiety attack thinking about the next eighteen years of my mother and Riggs interacting over Pea, I turned around and pulled the door open.
“Go left,” shouted Bones.
“We’re not going to clear the wall,” Riggs ground out.
“Well fuck you, next time pay for the goddamn delivery,” Bones growled.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, stepping into the hallway and closer to the stairwell, noticing the refrigerator they were trying to maneuver up the stairs.
Riggs glanced over his shoulder, turned around slightly and leaned against the fridge.
“Hi, Kitten,” he said with a smile, casually crossing his arms against his chest as he stared at me.
“Are you fucking kidding, man?” Bones called from down the stairs.
“Shit,” he muttered, turning toward the fridge and taking some of the weight of it from Bones. “Sorry,” he called down to Bones.
“Hi Bones,” I said, peaking over Riggs’ shoulder and down the stairs.
He lifted his hand and waved.
“Hiya, Kitten,” he greeted.
“I’ll drop the fucking refrigerator on you if you call her Kitten again,” Riggs hissed as he maneuvered the fridge. “Push,” he ordered, before glancing at me. “Make sure the door is open and step aside, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Sweet.
I hated when he was sweet.
It made me hopeful.
I stepped aside, getting out of the way and kicked the door open wide, just in case they got that monster of a fridge up the tiny stairwell.
Bones pushed. Riggs groaned. They both cursed their lives, the refrigerator and life in general, and by some miracle of God they managed to get it up the stairs with only clipping off a part of the bannister.
“Who’s the fucking man?” Riggs asked, grinning.
“Not you, asshole,” Bones replied as they moved into the apartment.
“Riggs,” I started, trying to warn him that his favorite person was sitting inside.
“Tell me I’m the man, Kitten,” he winked.
“You’re the man, but—” I was cut off.
“Well if it isn’t “Johnny Appleseed” himself,” my mother taunted.
“For fuck’s sake,” Riggs groaned.
“Mrs. Bianci, how are you?” Bones asked, wearing a shit eating grin.
My mother huffed as they pushed the fridge into its rightful spot in the kitchen, inspecting it for any damage.
“Does it meet your approval?” Riggs questioned, brushing his hands on his jeans before he plugged it in.
“You should’ve bought a Maytag,” she snarled, grabbing her purse off the counter. She walked over and kissed my cheek. “If you need me, call,” she said, glancing over her shoulder at Riggs. “And don’t forget, you don’t need this guy to do what you have to do,” she turned her eyes back to me. “You’ve got your family,” she said, giving me one more kiss and pressing her hand against my flat stomach. “I can’t believe my baby’s having a baby,” she whispered, before she dropped her hand and started for the door.
“Always a pleasure,” Riggs called out as she reached the door.
My mother paused at the door, lifting her middle finger to him before she walked out.
“I think she’s warming up to me,” Riggs said.
“Oh, yeah, definitely,” Bones said, dropping onto the couch. “Looks good Lauren,” he commented, glancing around the bare apartment.
“It does?” I asked, my eyes following Riggs as he inspected the changes to his apartment. I waited for his face to change, for the anxiety to set into his features but he remained indifferent.
“Still doesn’t look lived in,” Riggs added.
“She just moved in,” Bones argued.
Riggs turned around. “You’re going to need more furniture and I’ve got a few televisions I’ll hang up,” he rattled off, pulling off his hat and running his fingers through his hair.
“It’s fine. There’s no hurry to get anything,” I started.
“I want you to be comfortable,” he argued. “And when the kid comes, I want him to have a normal home,” he declared, reaching into his pocket.
I wanted to ask him what his definition of a normal home was, because normal was what you made of it. Pea needed a loving home, not one stocked with flat-screen televisions.
He produced his credit card from his wallet and handed it to me.
“What’s this?” I shook my head. “I mean, I know what it is but why are you giving it to me?”
“I want you to fix this place up however you want,” he said.
I saw Bones shake his head out of the corner of my eye.
“That’s very nice of you, Riggs. So is offering your home to me and Pea but that’s where it ends. I’m not your charity case,” I said, ignoring the card he handed me and stepping around him.
“What just happened?” He asked, turning around so he faced my back. “Kitten, I don’t think you’re my charity case,” he argued.
I turned around.
“So what am I then?”
“Pea’s Mom,” he said simply, stepping closer. “Take the card Lauren, make this place look nice,” he coaxed, taking my hand and opening my palm before dropping the card into it and closing it. He squeezed my closed palm and leaned down to press his lips to my forehea
d. “Let me do this,” he whispered against my skin. “Make me feel useful,” he added. “And not just like some asshole who turned your life upside down,” he said, pulling back so he could glance into my eyes.
“I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” I began, lifting my eyes to his. “You want to do something useful? Be there,” I explained. “Adrianna says we’ll probably get to hear the heartbeat,” I added, smiling slightly.
I don’t know what kind of childhood Riggs had but our child would not be bought. A dollar wasn’t going to make up for a broken promise. He wanted to step up and do the right thing—that’s great but I wouldn’t allow him to throw money at a situation and think he’s doing his share. Pea deserved better than that. Pea deserved a daddy.
He nodded quickly.
“Yeah, sure. I can do that,” he said. “Shit,” he sighed. “What time tomorrow? I’ve got Jack’s brother’s funeral and…” His words trailed off as Bones cleared his throat, causing him to look over his shoulder at his friend.
Bones coughed and muttered something that sounded like, ‘own it’, before Riggs turned back to me.
“What time is the appointment?” He repeated.
“Two in the afternoon. Dr. Heltzer is my doctor, his office is across the street from the hospital,” I told him, looking down at the credit card. “I just want to remind you I don’t want you to feel obligated,” I said, cocking my head to the side as I stared at him. “I can do it without you,” I paused. “I just don’t want to,” I whispered. “But I will if I have too.”
He took my face in his hands, stepping closer, so I felt his breath against my lips.
“I’ll be there,” he vowed.
I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel his lips on mine and be reminded of what kissing Riggs felt like. But the last time we did something reckless it resulted in two pink lines. He leaned down and kissed my cheek before dropping his hands from my face.
“I’ve got to get going,” he said. “Text me the information and I’ll be there,” he reiterated as his thumb grazed my jaw.
I nodded, holding my breath as I stared into his eyes and saw the unmistakable flicker of desire. He turned around and snapped his fingers at Bones.
“Did you just snap at me?”
Reckless Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 4) Page 17