Bones said nothing. He probably didn’t know how to respond but his silence also was a sign of his loyalty to his brother.
“Miss Bianci? Dr. Goodwin will see you now,” the receptionist called.
I gripped the arms of the chair and rose to my feet.
“Lauren, I know you’re mad and you have every right to be,” he said, standing as he spoke. “And I also know he probably doesn’t deserve it but I’m going to ask you anyway…”
“Ask me what?”
“Not to give up on him.”
“Too late for that Bones,” I answered. “Do you see him here? Where his place is? No you don’t. Look around the room,” I whispered. “I’m the only one alone here,” I added, my voice cracking with emotion.
I continued to walk toward the receptionist when she smiled over my shoulder at Bones.
“You too, Dad,” she said, cheerfully.
Bones opened his mouth to correct her and then I followed his eyes as they roamed around the room, pausing to stare at the couples I had pointed out.
“I wouldn’t mind not being alone,” I croaked.
He bit the inside of his cheek, shoving his hands into his pocket before he nodded.
“Uncle Bones is happy to help,” he said, winking at me and following me into the exam room.
He took a seat in the corner of the room, fidgeting about as the nurse weighed me and took my blood pressure. I stepped onto the exam table and lifted my shirt, exposing my round belly and waited for the doctor to join us.
I turned to Bones, watched as he stared a hole into the wall beside me and giggled. The big bad biker was uncomfortable, but I relished in his company, the support of another human being beside me.
“Do you want kids, Bones?” I asked, forcing him to look at me.
“Yeah,” he said automatically. “Someday.”
The door opened and Dr. Goodwin stepped inside, smiling at me before looking back at Bones with a confused look.
“Dad couldn’t join us again?” She asked.
“No, so Uncle…Eric, is stepping in just for today,” he offered, looking back at me and winking.
“How nice,” Dr. Goodwin replied as she looked over my chart.
I stared at Bones wide-eyed.
“Uncle Eric?”
“Figured it was better than explaining why the kid had an uncle named Bones?” He explained, in a hushed tone.
I smiled at him before Dr. Goodwin squirted the cold gel like substance onto my belly. Bones’ eyes diverted to the screen as the doctor moved the wand around my belly, until Pea appeared on the screen.
My perfect little baby.
That image would never get old.
I listened as Pea’s heartbeat sounded, strong and healthy and I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms.
I couldn’t wait to meet the love of my life.
Bones looked amazed by it all and smiled when Dr. Goodwin pointed out Pea’s features, freezing the image of her perfect profile. After the sonogram was over, the doctor printed out several photos of the baby and handed them to me. She instructed me to make another appointment for next month and informed me that Pea was progressing wonderfully and was right on track.
I wiped the gel from my belly and pulled my shirt down, turning toward Bones.
“Thanks for getting lost and sticking around with me. It was nice not to be alone,” I said, as he walked with me to the door. “Eric,” I mused.
He nudged me playfully.
“Bones,” he corrected. “Anything for Pea, even if it means giving up my real name,” he joked.
I folded one of the sonogram photos and ripped it off the strip before handing it to him.
“A gift from Pea, to say thank you,” I offered, holding the picture out for him.
He glanced down at the black and white grainy photo before slipping it into the inside pocket of his cut.
“C’mon, I’ll walk you out,” he said.
Of course I took him up on his offer because hanging out with Bones made me feel closer to Riggs. I wanted to say something, give him a message for Riggs that we were still here if he had a change of heart. But I knew that would only break what was left of my heart if he didn’t take me up on the offer.
Stay strong, I reminded myself.
You’ve got this.
It’s his loss.
But each day that passed was another piece of my heart lost to Riggs and the dreams I thought we could make come true.
Dreams.
What a joke.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I had to get out of this apartment. I was going crazy sitting here drinking myself into oblivion, staring at my three white walls and one gray one. I ordered a crib today. A mattress too, and one of those fancy rocking chairs for when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night.
I know.
I’m losing my mind.
I rode my bike to the Dog Pound; even though that was the last place I wanted to be. I found the guys on their way out, headed to some bar in Bay Ridge. I wasn’t much company but it was better than wallowing in my self-created Hell.
The new guys were alright, Stryker was a pool shark, and by the second round he had half the bar lining up to try and beat him in a game. He couldn’t lose, so Cobra made things interesting and started placing bets on his games.
It was obvious Cobra was an earner. There probably wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to make a dollar. Jack was going to love him.
Linc was quiet, more reserved. He sat at the bar, eyes glued to whatever game was on the flat screen. Why was it that women always gravitated to the brooding types? The bar was more or less empty but every girl who stepped up to order a drink made sure they cozied up to Linc. He was a pussy magnet.
Deuce was young and chasing tail, reminding me a lot of the old me. The reckless Riggs who only cared about his bike and his dick.
Blackie pushed a shot of tequila toward me.
“You look like shit,” he muttered.
“Thanks, bro,” I replied sarcastically, wondering if he knew how bad he looked. The two of us made quite the pair, looking like two drunk bums instead of two badass bikers.
I threw back the shot.
“Oh, look, here comes your girlfriend,” Blackie mocked. For a moment I thought he was referencing Lauren. I quickly turned around to see Bones walk through the door, making eye-contact with me as Stryker grabbed his arm and led him to the pool table. I snarled, swiveling around in my chair when my eyes latched onto the unmistakable dark eyes of a girl. I laughed, nudging him as that bitch karma made her presence known.
“Yeah, and there’s yours,” I mused.
He turned in his chair, his eyes following the direction of mine and collided with Lacey’s.
“Goddamn,” he hissed, quickly turning back around.
I waved at Lacey and received a scowl in return.
“She looks pissed, guess her date isn’t doing it for her,” I observed. Blackie ordered another round of shots while glancing over his shoulder at the guy who was getting cozy with Jack’s daughter.
He shook his head before turning back and staring down at his drink.
“Stop looking at her,” he growled.
“Shouldn’t you be saying that to the guy with his tongue in her ear?” I asked incredulously, as I turned around and minded my own business—kind of. “C’mon man, I know you have a death wish and all that, but Jack’s daughter?”
“It’s not like that,” he growled.
“Right and Michael Jackson didn’t think he was Peter-fucking-Pan,” I retorted.
“What?”
I rolled my eyes, about to call him on his shit when Bones came up alongside me and parked his ass on the stool next to mine and ordered a beer.
“Hey,” I greeted, looking at him expectantly. I had called him earlier to ask if he went to the hospital to pay Lauren’s medical bills and he told me he’d meet me here.
“It’s all taken care of,” he stated. “She’s paid in full until next month—I guess when she sees the doctor again,” he added.
I nodded in response.
“I ran into her at the hospital,” he said. I turned, pinning him with a stare. “Relax, she didn’t know why I was there. I told her I got lost,” he stated, shrugging his shoulders. “She seemed to buy it. Anyway, everything’s good with her and the baby, moving along just as they should be,” he informed.
“Good,” I said, turning back to Blackie, stealing the shot he was about to bring to his lips and claiming it as my own. I flinched as the liquid burned my throat. “Thanks for doing that,” I croaked.
He slapped his hand on the bar.
“Go easy on that shit,” he said, lifting his hand and leaving a black and white photograph of Pea.
My Pea.
I reached for the photo, mesmerized by how much he had changed since I last saw him.
“Kid’s got your nose,” he added, before slapping me on the back and strolling out of the bar.
“He does,” I whispered out loud, as I traced my finger over my kid’s nose, the same nose he shared with me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and reached into my pocket, pulling out a couple of bills and dropped them onto the bar. I took Pea’s photo and slipped it into my back pocket.
“I’m getting out of here,” I told Blackie. Without waiting for a reply, I walked out of the bar and climbed onto my bike. I revved my engine and drove aimlessly around the streets of Brooklyn with the image of Pea’s profile fresh in my mind, burning a hole in my heart.
My nose.
Lauren’s lips.
I wasn’t sure about his chin but it was still a handsome chin.
I hope his eyes are just like his mother’s.
I wanted to drive to Lauren’s apartment, I doubt Maria would’ve let me in, but I wanted to see her. I could really use a cuddle right now. I needed Kitten to wrap me in her arms and fill me in on everything I’ve missed. Knowing her, she probably had a scrapbook full of Pea’s pictures. Maybe I would get a chance to feel the baby move. That would be epic.
I didn’t do any of those things; instead I drove my ass to the Red Dragons’ clubhouse and sat across the street from their compound with my hand wrapped around my gun. I thought of a million different ways I could get through those iron gates and twice as many ways I’d kill the motherfucker. I didn’t want them all. I wasn’t greedy like that. I’d just take Wu.
But I knew Bones was right. It was suicide. If the Dragons didn’t kill me for offing their president then Jack would kill me for going against him. Brother or no brother, that shit was wrong.
I resigned, tucking my gun away, deciding Wu and I both got to live another night and peeled away from the curb, making my way to my apartment. Maybe I’d put another coat of paint on the walls, or finish that bottle of whiskey I had been working on. The first thing I’d definitely do when I walked in the door was put Pea’s picture where it belongs…on my refrigerator.
I reached for my keys as I climbed the stairs to my apartment, pulled them and the photo out of my pocket, jingling the keys in my hand as I stared at Pea.
I was still shocked that me and Lauren made a kid.
I reached the landing and turned my head when I heard footsteps, stopping in my tracks as my eyes met Lauren’s briefly before they dropped and zeroed in on her protruding stomach.
My God.
She’d gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw her.
There was no question that she was pregnant, that round belly said it all. The club always talks about branding their women, making their women their property, they give them their colors and stamp them as their old lady.
I made Lauren my property, claimed her as mine, the sweetest way imaginable the night I put Pea inside her. That bump was her brand and it made her mine forever.
I lifted my eyes back to her face, noticing her cheeks reddening ever so slightly. I moved around her to open the door. Silently, she stepped inside and I followed her, closing the door behind me.
She stared at me for a moment before looking down at the photo I clutched in my hands.
“Funny thing happened today,” she started, taking the picture out of my hand and walking into the kitchen. She pulled a magnet from the side of the fridge and placed Pea’s photo front and center on the refrigerator door before she turned around and looked back at me.
“Actually, a couple of things happened today. I went to my doctor’s appointment and guess who was there?” She asked, walking closer. “Bones. Picture that. He said he was lost and I believed him. You’ve made it clear that you guys aren’t really the brightest bulbs,” she said, her lip curling slightly. “Anyway, after my appointment he walked me to my car and took off but I forgot that I didn’t make my payment with the doctor.”
I should’ve turned around and ignored her but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
“Are you ready for the funny thing? I went to make a payment and the receptionist told me that the man I was with came in a little before me and paid my balance in full.”
“That Bones, he’s a good guy,” I said hoarsely.
“Yeah, he is,” she agreed. “Some might say his friend is too,” she added, crossing her arms under her chest. “Why did you pay my doctor’s bill, Riggs?”
“It’s not a big deal, Lauren,” I argued.
Fiery blue eyes pierced me as she stalked toward me, closing the distance between us and shoving the palm of her hand against my chest.
“It’s a big deal to me! So is watching you walk up the stairs holding our baby’s picture in your hand. It’s huge for a woman who thinks she’s all alone and the only one who wants this baby.”
“What do you want me to say? You want the truth? It’s not going to change anything. It’s not going to make all the bad shit disappear, Lauren.”
“For once can we just stop talking about the club and all the bad things that can happen? I’m so sick and tired of letting that patch dictate our life.” She reached out and placed her palm against my chest.
“Just tell me what’s in here. Please,” she whispered. “It’s just us, just the three of us, give me this Riggs. I promise I won’t hold you to anything. I just need to hear it. I need to know that it all wasn’t lies.”
“The three of us,” I repeated hoarsely, laying my hand over hers. “Let me look at you, Lauren,” I said, as I took a step back and let my eyes travel the length of her, taking in all her changes, all her beauty.
“You’re so goddamn pretty,” I said, lifting my eyes back to hers. “Pea has your mouth,” I whispered.
“And your nose,” she replied.
I stepped closer to her, mindlessly taking her face in the palms of my hand and bent my knees so we were eye level.
“Thank you,” I said sincerely.
“For what?” She replied breathless.
“For being a great mom to Pea. You’re doing a great job, Kitten,” I whispered, as I touched my forehead to hers.
“I miss you,” she blurted. “I know you love Pea, Riggs,” she insisted.
Love?
The word wasn’t close enough to what I was feeling.
“For the first time in my life, I’ve got people that depend on me, and not just for support but for protection. Lauren, I can’t deal with that pressure. If something ever happens to you or the baby because of me—”
“Nothing’s going to happen,” she interrupted, placing her hands around my wrists. “Riggs, we’re okay, we just want you.
The last words she spoke were the ones that broke me; split me in two. I picked the man who loved Kitten and Pea, the man who wanted the family over the monster who sought vengeance. I covered her mouth with mine, giving us both what we wanted and damning everything else to Hell. She tasted like all the good things you wish for but don’t think you’ll ever have.
Her arms wrapped around my neck, pullin
g me closer, her belly pressing against me as she struggled to get us as close as possible. I pulled my lips from hers, letting my tongue taste her lips one last time before I lifted her into my arms.
“What’re you doing?” She whispered, as I cradled her, carrying her to our bedroom.
“Proving to you nothing was a lie.”
It was the only truth I knew.
I followed my heart to Riggs’ doorstep, knowing I’d probably lose it—but if there was the slightest chance I could get him to admit the truth, then it would be worth it.
Wouldn’t it?
He set me down on the foot of the bed and kneeled before me, spreading my legs apart as he moved between them and ran his hands up my thighs.
“Let me see you, Kitten,” he said, for the second time since I came here. I looked into his eyes and saw the desperation reflected in them and knew I’d never be able to deny him. Aside from that, I wanted this just as much as he did, if not more. I hated being alone, I hated not having him. I didn’t only miss him emotionally, but physically too. I craved his touch, his comfort, his existence.
There was no sexy way to undress for him. I lifted my maternity shirt over my belly, revealing the blue stretchy material of my jeans that covered my bump before I finally pulled it over my head. He stared at my breasts that were straining against my lace bra. I was a whole cup size bigger than the last time he saw me like this. He licked his lips, slowly, tantalizingly before reaching down and cupping his dick.
Clearly, he enjoyed the change.
And that gave me the confidence I needed.
I slipped my fingers beneath the stretchy fabric of my pants and lowered the band, exposing my belly. I lifted my hips and pulled the pants down to my thighs, knowing it would get awkward and I’d have to lift my leg to get the pants off.
Riggs laid his hands over mine and stopped me from going any further.
“Can I?”
I nodded thinking he was asking to finish removing my pants but he lifted his hands off of mine and splayed them across my belly.
“Oh, wow,” he whispered, lifting his eyes to mine. I was taken aback by the emotion conveyed in his eyes, something I thought Riggs was immune to.
Reckless Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 4) Page 29