by Amber Garza
“Good to know,” Colt says.
I stare forward. “You can wear your piercings, by the way. Bud doesn’t care.”
“Cool. Yeah, I felt a little naked without them.”
The words draw an image in my mind that I should not be thinking. I swallow hard. “And you don’t have to fix your hair like a five-year-old boy.”
Colt guffaws. “Is that what you think? That I look like a five-year-old boy today?”
“Truthfully? A little.”
“Point taken.”
When I glance over at him, he’s smiling again, and my heart skips a beat.
“Turn right here.” He points forward.
I take the turn. “You live in the older part of town, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“I love it over here. It has a lot more character than the newer areas. When did you move here?”
“Um….just a couple of weeks ago. This is my house right here.” He indicates a small home with a tidy yard and a few potted plants lining the porch.
I pull up along the curb. The minute I do, he reaches for the door handle and pushes it open. “Thanks for the ride.” He doesn’t even look at me, as he closes the door and heads toward the house.
I stare at him, confused. One minute he seems so nice and the next he completely shuts down. It’s the strangest thing. As I drive away from his house, I wonder if Colt will always be a mystery to me.
EIGHT
COLT
“How was your first day of work?” Aunt Callie asks the minute I step inside the house.
“Good.” I kick off my shoes near the door and then step into the family room where Aunt Callie sits on the couch, wearing sweats, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail.
It’s quiet. Too quiet. I glance around, panic taking root in my stomach. “Where are Zander and Bristol?”
“They’re napping.” Her blue eyes crinkle. “They’re fine, Colt.”
I nod, allowing my chest to expand as I exhale. Then I sink down onto the couch next to her. The scent of coffee beans clings to my skin. It’s foreign and reminds me of how much I’m changing here.
“You don’t need to worry about them so much. You’re only a teenager yourself,” Callie says softly, her hand dropping onto my arm.
I shake it off, not used to the affection. My skin crawls. “It’s fine. Not everyone gets a normal childhood, you know?”
“Yeah, I do.” And I know that Callie does. All too well. “But I’m not going to drop you guys. I’m here for you. You can trust me.”
I want to believe her, but I’ve heard it all before. Pushing myself off the couch, I stand up. I don’t want to sit here and let her plant seeds of hope in my heart. If I allow them to bloom, it’ll hurt worse when she lets me down. Better to not hope at all. “I’m beat. If the other kids are napping, I think I'll take one too.”
She nods, her face sad. She speaks when I reach the hallway. “Hey, Colt?”
I crane my neck. “Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you.” She pauses, picking at a thread on the couch. “Just thought you should know that.”
A lump rises in my throat, but I swallow it down. Nodding, I turn quickly and hurry down the hallway. I get to the room that I stay in and step inside. It’s not decorated, and it never will be. Decorating means staying, it means putting down roots, it means permanent. I won’t trick myself that way. Nowhere is permanent. Even though this room has a dresser, it’s empty. I keep my clothes in a bag. So when we do have to leave unexpectedly, it will be like I expected it all along.
Aunt Callie gave me my own room when we first moved in, saying that at my age I should have a space that’s all my own. I was so happy initially. It’s the first time I’ve had my own space, after all. Now I feel like it’s a curse. I never knew how great it was to have my own room. Now I do, so it’ll be harder to let it go. That’s another reason I don’t personalize anything in here.
I pull off my shirt and toss it in the hamper in the corner. Then I lie on top of the bed. It’s too hot to put on the thick comforter, so I just lie on the top of the bed staring at the ceiling.
Paige’s face emerges in my mind. It was a mistake to let her drive me to Callie’s. Once we got here I realized how impractical this whole thing is. At Bud’s, there were moments when I foolishly imagined what it would be like to have a relationship with her. But when she pulled up here, it hit me how stupid and impractical I’m being. My life isn’t stable. I’m not the kind of guy who can have a normal relationship.
Sure, it might be fun to pretend I’m someone different than I am for a little while. But it won’t last. She’ll figure out who I really am. They all will. And then it will be over. The same way it always is, and I’ll be left to pick up the pieces the same way I always do.
It’s way too early to be up, and I wonder how long I’ll be able to keep up with these crazy work hours. I’m careful not to make any noise when I get ready. The kids and Aunt Callie are all sleeping and I don’t want to wake any of them, especially not Bristol. After putting my piercings back in and slipping on my old pair of black Converse, I head outside.
I close the door and glance up, my breath hitching in my throat. Paige’s car is parked along the curb and she stands outside, leaning against the side of it.
“Good morning.” She smiles, and I realize that her smile is becoming my favorite thing in the world.
“What are you doing here?” I run a hand over my messy hair, agitated.
“We were both on the schedule for this morning, so I thought I’d swing by and get you. Unless you’d rather walk?” She shoves off her car, giving me a challenging look.
I laugh, realizing I’m being silly. It was a nice, friendly gesture. That’s all. “No. That’s cool.”
“That’s what I thought.” She skips around the side of the vehicle and slides in.
I follow suit. When I sit down her woodsy scent washes over me. “Thanks for doing this,” I say, still shocked by how kind she is.
“No problem. My best friend Hadley doesn’t have her own car either. I’ve been giving her rides everywhere for the past year. I don’t mind it.”
“And here I thought I was special.” I settle into the seat as she turns the engine. It rumbles to life. She clicks her seatbelt into place and then glances over at me, a question in her eyes.
“No seatbelt?”
I huff. “Call me a rebel.”
“Suit yourself, but once you’ve ridden with me a few more times you won’t be forgetting your seatbelt.”
“Is that a threat?”
“A warning.” A smile flickers over her lips as she pulls away from the curb.
“Are you trying to tell me you’re a bad driver?”
“According to Hadley I am.” She turns the corner, her gaze trained out the front window. I study her profile – her pert nose, her defined cheekbones, her long lashes.
“Maybe she’s wrong,” I offer.
Paige giggles. “Well, okay. The truth is she’s not the only one who thinks it, even though I tell her she is. My parents think it, and so does my sister. And, okay, it may have taken me multiple tries to get my license.” She takes the next corner a little fast, and I grip the seat.
“I’ll take my chances,” I say. I’ve been in very scary situations, so riding a few miles in the car with a girl who isn’t the best driver in the world doesn’t faze me in the least.
“How come you don’t have a car? Do you have to share with your mom or something? That’s what Hadley has to do.”
I shift in my seat. “Um…no. I live with my aunt.”
“Oh.” Paige is quiet for a minute. “Do you have any siblings?”
“Yeah.” A smile breaks out on my face. “Two. A younger brother Zander. He’s eight. And a baby sister Bristol. She’s a pain. Cries all the time. It’s a good thing she’s so damn cute.”
Paige smiles, glancing at me. A car pulls out of a driveway in front of us, but she doesn’t notice it.
�
�Paige!”
“Shit.” She slams on her brakes. “See. This is what I was talking about.”
The car pulls out onto the street and drives in front of us. Paige lets her foot off the gas, and we slowly drive forward.
“It might help if you kept your eyes on the road,” I say.
Her cheeks color slightly. “Now you sound like Hadley.”
“Is she like you?” I ask, curious about what kind of friends Paige has.
“What do you mean?” Paige peers over at me, her eyebrows knit together. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a splash of brake lights.
“Look forward,” I command, rethinking my seatbelt situation. “Man, maybe we should talk after we get to work.”
Paige giggles, staring out the front window. “You’re gonna be reaching for that seatbelt any minute, aren’t you?”
“You read my mind,” I say honestly.
“Okay, okay, I’ll focus. I won’t make you give up your rebel status,” she says. “You were asking if Hadley’s like me. That’s a tough one. In some ways we’re a lot alike, but for the most part we’re opposites. I mean, Hadley dresses kind of preppy. She’s quiet and unassuming. We like totally different music and movies.”
“What makes you friends then?” I’m totally confused.
The coffee shop comes into view. “Well, on the surface we’re nothing alike and our interests are different. But at the core of who we are, we’re exactly alike. We have the same morals, the same character, similar dreams. Honestly, I couldn’t have found a better best friend than her.”
I scratch the top of my arm, feeling super uncomfortable. A deep loneliness and longing sink into the pit of my stomach. I’ve never had anyone like that in my life. It seems so foreign to me, so unattainable, really. Paige doesn’t realize how lucky she is.
“Here we are.” She cuts the engine and turns to me, her bright pink lips turned up at the edges. “Ready for another exciting day?”
I nod. And the truth is, I am ready. I don’t know how many days I have of this life, this one at Aunt Callie’s, this one that includes Paige. But while I have it, I’m going to enjoy every minute. I’m going to glean every ounce of happiness I can until it’s ripped away from me.
NINE
PAIGE
“It looks like it’s just you and me today,” I say to Colt after unlocking the shop. As nonchalant as I appear to be, my insides are throwing a rockin’ party.
“Sounds good to me. It’ll sure beat having Jon teach me how to stock shelves or clean tables like I’m a freaking kindergartener.” Colt leans into me, his hand brushing my arm. “Besides, don’t tell Jon this, but you are much sexier than he is.”
I giggle, my body trembling. “I’ll keep that information to myself.” Moving away from him, I will my insides to calm. “I wouldn’t want to dent his fragile ego.”
“His ego’s fragile, huh?” Colt follows me as I head toward the back room to get my apron. “How do you know this? I bet he asked you out and you turned him down, huh?”
I grab my apron off the hook and whirl around to face Colt. He’s hovering over me, our chests practically touching in the small space. I inhale sharply. His foreign scent sweeps over me. It’s a combination of mint and something spicy that I can’t quite place. It’s like nothing I’ve smelled before, and causes my head to spin.
“How did you know that? Did Jon tell you?” I fumble to get my apron on, but it’s difficult since my hands are shaking so badly.
“Nah. He didn’t have to. I could tell by the way he looks at you.”
I pull a sour face. “I think it’s why he hates me so much.”
“Believe me, he doesn’t hate you.”
“Oh, yeah? What makes you an expert?” My fingers still can’t quite tie my apron, and I feel like an incompetent idiot.
“I just know what I see.” He reaches out his arm. “Here. Turn around and I’ll help you.”
My heart jumps. “Okay.” I pivot around.
Colt comes up behind me. I stand perfectly still. His arms brush my sides as he gathers the ties, and I shiver. Softly, his fingers feather over my back and I feel the apron tightening. His breath is hot against my neck, and a flush of desire runs through me. I want to lean back, to rest against him, to let him touch me. But I don’t. I don’t move at all. I don’t even breathe. When he’s finished, I exhale. My heart is so loud I fear that he can hear it. But when I turn back around he is tying his own apron, his expression is unreadable.
“Alright. Let’s get to work,” I say, hoping my voice is steady and strong. However, I suspect it’s shaky and unstable like I feel.
“Where do you want me?” he asks, and my mind flies to an inappropriate response.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I clear my throat, thinking how grateful I am that he can’t read my mind. “Um…I’ll work the register. What do you feel comfortable doing?”
“I think we’ve established that I can clean a table,” he quips.
I chuckle. “Jon taught you to make the drinks, right?”
He nods.
“Okay. I’ll work the register and you make the drinks. It gets pretty busy in the morning, so I won’t be able to do both.”
Colt smiles at me, and I find my thoughts drifting back to when he helped me with my apron. It felt so good when his hands were on me. I wish we could go back to that, but then my gaze catches on the clock. It’s time to open the shop.
“So what do you think? Was it what you expected?” I ask when our shift is over and Colt and I are walking out of the shop. It’s afternoon and the air is hot and dry. It had been so cold inside that I wanted to put on a sweater. But after only a minute outside I want to shed my shirt and jump into a pool. Sweat gathers under my armpits, so I shake out my arms.
“That was brutal.” Colt blows out a breath.
“Yeah, it’s crazy the first few days, but you get used to it.”
“You made it seem so easy.” His shoulder bumps mine, the touch sending chills skittering down my arm.
I shrug away the compliment. A warm breeze hits me in the face, making me feel even sweatier. Colt wipes his forehead as we head toward my car.
“You don’t have to give me a ride, you know?” He says, halting.
“Are you kidding? I’m not letting you walk home in this heat. It’s no biggie. It’s on my way.”
“Have you ever given Jon a ride?” He winks, and instinctually I know what he’s really asking.
“I’ve never given another guy a ride in my car.”
He freezes, cocking his head to the side. “Ever?”
When I lock on his intense gaze, I feel stupid for saying anything. “It’s like you said the other day. This town is full of plastic people. There aren’t many interesting guys, that’s all.” I reach for the door handle of my car.
“So you’re saying that I’m interesting?” Colt pins me with a stare.
“Maybe.” I stare hard at my feet. Then I clear my throat. “Hey, you wanna go grab an ice cream or something?”
“I feel like I should say yes, since I’m the only interesting person in this town. I mean, I wouldn’t want to force you to hang out with a bunch of plastic people,” he teases.
“Oh, don’t force yourself,” I banter back. “I can always go with Hadley. And she’s way more interesting than you.”
“Really? Well, then do that.”
I can’t tell if he’s joking or not, so I punch him softly in the shoulder in an effort to lighten things up again. “No. She’s probably out with her boyfriend. Come on. I want ice cream, and I don’t want to go alone. My treat.”
He starts to open his mouth, so I shake my head.
“I’m not taking no for an answer, so come on.” I slip inside the car before he can protest.
“Anyone ever tell you that you’re bossy?” He asks the minute he sits inside the car.
“Never,” I lie, a large grin spreading across my face.
“You’re also a terrible
liar.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? No one likes a liar.” I give him a sidelong glance.
His face pales, and he turns away from me. The uneasiness I felt the first night we met returns, and I wonder again if trusting him is a mistake.
“You really like ice cream, huh?” Colt eyes me while I lick the ice cream swiftly to keep it from dripping down the cone.
“Hmm mmm.” I take a bite out of the cold sugary concoction. We are sitting at a table outside of Baskin Robbins. The heat is sweltering even though we are in the shade, but it beats sitting inside with a gazillion rowdy toddlers and their moms. No one else sits out here. They aren’t crazy enough to endure these temperatures.
Colt leans forward, his elbows propped on the table, his chocolate ice cream cone in his right hand. “I gotta say I’m a little jealous of that mint ice cream now.” He waggles his eyebrows. “Do you do everything with this much vigor?”
My body heats up. “Yes, I do, actually. Life is short, so I plan to enjoy every minute.”
He leans back, bringing the cone to his lips. When his tongue darts out of his mouth and touches the ice cream, I can’t help but stare. His tongue bar glints in the sunshine. So I was right. “You’re pretty wise, McAllistor. How old are you?”
“Hasn’t anyone told you that you’re never supposed to ask a lady her age?” I wipe my sticky hand on a small paper napkin.
“I’m not asking a lady. I’m asking you.”
I giggle. “Okay. Well, when you put it that way. I just turned seventeen. I’m going to be a senior this year.”
“Me too,” Colt replies before taking another bite of his ice cream.
My heart flips in my chest. I figured we were the same age, but it’s nice to have it confirmed. “So you’re going to Gold Rush High then?”
“Don’t know.” Colt’s shoulders bob up and down. He takes a loud bite out of his cone, crunching it between his teeth. After swallowing he says, “If I’m still around.”