So I shut the curtains, pull off my shoes, and prop my feet up on the foot of April’s bed. Normally this would be against regulation, but seeing as she’s a family friend, nobody is about to complain. Least of all the patient.
I allow my consciousness to fall under the twilight of dreams, one foot still keeping the door to reality propped open. That’s when I hear someone call my name.
“Finn?”
Snapping to attention out of fear that my supervisor has caught me, I blubber out the words, “Yes, I’m sorry?”
But there’s no one at the door. The room is still lit only dimly, the only sounds from under the heavy wooden door. Thinking it was a dream, I begin to hunker back down into my seat, when the same voice calls out again. “Finn? Is that you?”
The girl in bed has her eyes open, her purple irises looking right into mine. “Where are we?”
April is awake.
It’s normal after such trauma to bob in and out of consciousness, each time regaining a little more awareness. But April is not drifting anymore. After a deep yawn, she smacks her lips and then grimaces at the pain, raising a hand to feel at the gauze covering her left cheek. She might have just woken from a pleasant sleep, ready now to face the day without even the need for caffeine.
“What happened to me?”
Her heart monitor picks up speed, but nothing dangerous. Just a frightened heart looking for answers. I think about calling Ashley. She might not have even made it home by now. But she needs to get out for the day. Needs to dip back into her old routine. To remember who she is outside of this accident.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
The truth is that I don’t want anyone else to break this moment. Right now, in this room, we might be the last two people on earth. And as I remember the crush I had on this girl I haven’t seen in ages—a crush I’ve pushed down for years, deeming it inappropriate, not only because she was my sister’s best friend and like a sister herself, but her being three years my junior—I decide such a fate wouldn’t be so bad. That if we really are all that’s left of humanity, I would be fine with it. Just as long as her eyes are always watching mine.
Chapter 5
April
When I finally break the surface of darkness, I flail in the sudden light. It is not a slow ascent into consciousness but a shocking yank that leaves me completely disoriented. All of my senses are opened to full throttle, bombarding my brain with sounds and sights and smells that are just too much to process. When the blurs finally condense, there is Ashley’s brother, Finn, sitting beside me, his feet propped up on my bed. I fear that this isn’t real, that I have not fully woken from my nightmare yet.
“Finn?” I breathe out, my voice not my voice but that of an elderly woman who has smoked a pack a day since elementary school.
“Yes, I’m sorry?” Finn replies, but he’s not looking at me. It’s as though I don’t exist. A tiny thought pokes up through the stress of my current confusion, reminding me that I’ve always been invisible to Finn. Just Ashley’s best friend. Nothing more. Which makes me wonder all the more why he would be in my room, his feet on my bed. Maybe it isn’t him. In the gray light, all I have to judge the man by is a silhouette, so my first supposition may have been wrong.
“Finn? Is that you?” I ask to make sure. Then, to test the waters whether this is a dream or not, I add, “Where are we?” If his answer is something absurd, like my childhood home, I will know he is lying and that this is a dream. Because under no circumstance would I ever be living with my parents again.
My left hand itches, but when I go to scratch it, I find tubes protruding from the back of my hand. They lead up to an IV hanging over my bed. As I inspect more, I find wires leading to machines, a bandage covering half of my face, and—to my utter horror—a thin gown that I am completely naked underneath. “What happened to me?”
Finn is watching me. I’m sure it’s him now, or at least some dream version of my friend’s brother. I am leaning on it being the latter because my brain is painting him in a better light than my memory. I remember a rail-thin boy, head always down, who gave short answers and shied away from human contact, preferring to live in the library. The Finn at the foot of my bed, watching me so intently, is not a boy anymore. He has filled out in the past few years, his tall, lanky frame now simply tall. It is hard to say with his white doctor’s jacket obscuring the view, but he might have even taken up a sport. That would explain the reason his shoulders are wider than I remember.
“April,” he says. His voice hasn’t changed at least. Still a deep baritone, but at least now it fits with his body. “You’re in the hospital. My hospital. I mean, St. Jude’s.”
At first the words pass right over me. I’m focusing more on the reason he’s tripping over his explanation while he stares at me, never seeming to blink. My hand goes up to the bandage on my face again. In the hospital? Have I been in some sort of accident that has left me horribly disfigured? Is that why he pulls his eyes away? Because my face is a wreck?
Finn leans up towards my face. Pulls my hand away with gentle fingers. “It’s not as bad as it seems. I mean, you need more time to heal, but there won’t be any lasting damage. You’re face is just a bit scuffed up. The bandage is there to prevent infection. It will probably be ready to come off in a week or two. It’s already had a bit of time to heal.”
I look down. His hand still covers mine. I chew on my bottom lip. Take a deep breath and try to piece together everything he just said. “How long have I been like this?” I ask first. And then. “What happened? Why am I here?”
Finn explains everything in slow detail, repeating parts of the story when I have questions. He pours me a glass of water when I begin coughing, and, to my thrill, holds my hand again as soon as he sits back down to continue the story.
“So that boy. Aaron?” The name is familiar, but in a vague sense, like an episode of a show you can’t remember if you’ve already seen or not. I’ve been on so many bad dates that they all blur together. And the concussion that Finn said I got certainly isn’t helping things. “He pulled me out into the street? That’s when we got hit by that car?”
Finn nods. “You were lucky in a way. His body was between you and the car when it struck, so he took most of the damage.”
I cannot imagine being in much worse shape than I am in now, which leads me to my next question. “Did he make it?”
Finn’s answer is a shake of his head. “Paramedics only brought you too us. He was dead on the scene.”
I gasp, but the action feels empty, like it’s expected of me. There’s no connection between this boy and me. In fact, it’s his fault I’m here. If he had not been so horrible as to physically assault me, we wouldn’t have ended up in traffic in the first place. I do not hate Aaron, because it is hard to hate someone you barely remember, but my sympathy for his demise is as shallow as a summer puddle.
“Ashley has been here every day since the accident,” Finn says in an obvious attempt to change the topic. “She’s going to hate that she missed you waking up. She wouldn’t even leave your side until I forced her out an hour ago so she could wash the stink off of her.”
A hoarse laugh rumbles up my throat, reminding me to drink more water. It’s been years since I talked to Finn, but it’s good to see he still has the same sense of humor. His and Ashley’s attitudes towards life always surprised me. We grew up under different roofs with such different rules. I always admired Ashley’s family. Thought they were perfect. As I study Finn’s features, the thought that he is perfect in other ways passes through my mind.
“So, I know this sucks, but since you just woke up, I need to go and get a nurse to run a few tests on you. Just simple stuff. It won’t take too long. In the meantime, I’ll go and grab us some food from the cafeteria. You can’t have much, but I’ll get you something you can nibble on in the meantime. Then, after I get a look at your updated charts, we can talk about a timeline for you getting out of here.” He finall
y drops my hand and stands. “I’ll be back in just half an hour.” He pauses there beside my bed, and then, after a moment of indecision, leans forward. I think he is going to kiss me, but his hand goes to my forehead at the last minute. “No fever. But the nurse will want to confirm. I’ll be back soon.” He turns, hiding what appears to be a slight blush, and dashes out the door.
The hand he was holding is now colder than the other. His absence leaves the room feeling sterile. The smells of antibiotics creep up on my nose, filling in the places where Finn’s cologne and scent had been moments before.
Chapter 6
Finn
After a week of spending every free moment—and many more moments that were not free—in April’s room, keeping her company while Ashley took off to classes, I knew a complaint was only a matter of time. I really expected it to come from my superiors or, perhaps, other patients who felt that I was showing favoritism. Instead, it comes from the wormy Joshua, the first-year resident whose problem with me, although reasonable, comes across as whiny. He’s put in a formal request to change supervisors, claiming that I am not putting in the time necessary to mentor him. The fact that my own mentor left me on my own to learn from nurses, only checking in with me on rare occasions, leaves me with little remorse for Joshua.
I keep up my duties, perform my rounds. I’ve all but stopped going back to my apartment though, preferring to sleep either in the break room or in April’s room. I keep close under the guise of keeping Ashley from living at St. Jude’s. April is completely on my side, as evidenced by our most recent conversation this morning when trying to push Ashley out to head for her classes.
“I’m fine, really,” April says, her voice sounding much healthier since that first day she woke up. She has color in her cheeks too, though she refuses to remove the gauze bandaging from her cheek, despite the fact that it’s no longer needed. I think she’s ashamed of the slight scar it will leave behind.
“But—”
Before Ashley can find the words for even a single excuse, I cut across her. “I’ve got a free shift today, but I’ll be on call, so it’s best if I hang around here anyway. Besides, you’ve got midterms coming up.”
“And Finn has promised to help me with my first physical therapy session. We’ll be fine, so go.”
Ashley opens her mouth to argue, but closes it just as quickly. After looking from me to April, she says, “When did you too get so close?” Then with a roll of her eyes and a quick sigh, she says, “Fine. But you and me are having some girl time when I get back.” She gives April a quick kiss on the cheek, then the same to me, and finally April and I are alone again.
After Ashley leaves, I remain in the room only long enough to promise that I’ll be back after taking a quick shower. This is my actual plan too, before I run into Joshua in the locker room.
“Not that you care,” he says, stripping out of his shirt, “but I got to be a second to my first open heart surgery today. Dr. Phelps has really taken me under his wing the past few weeks. Says he understands my predicament because he went through something similar.”
“Look,” I reply. “Joshua. I know you think that you’ve got this place all figured out right now. That you are one hundred percent in the right about this. That Dr. Phelps has only the best intentions. That I am an asshole that used you for coffee runs and little else.”
He exhales quickly through his nose at this, as if everything I have said is so ridiculously obvious. “I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming up.”
Ignoring his sarcasm, I continue. “You’ve been here months, coming out of school where answers to tests were either right or wrong, pass or fail. But that’s not how the real world works, and it’s certainly not how a hospital works. I really hope you can see that before you find yourself on my end of the stick, because you’re going to be here one day. Perhaps not with another resident or nurse or doctor, but maybe with a patient who dies on your watch. Not because you do anything wrong. Because you can do everything right and still fail. That’s just life.”
“You’re quoting Star Trek at me now?”
A small smile escapes through my cloud of frustration like the sun peeking through on a gloomy day. “I forgot you were a geek like me. See, that’s what this place does to people. Days without adequate sleep devolve into weeks, and then, before you know it, it’s been months since you’ve slept more than a few hours at a time and you’ve taken up smoking, even though you know the risks better than anyone, just to cope with the stress of being on the floor constantly.” I take a deep breath. “I never meant to leave you hanging.”
I’m hoping that some part of my rambling has gotten through to him. He’s silent for a moment, and I’m turning to hop in the showers, thinking that he doesn’t even feel the need to continue this conversation, when he finally speaks up. “But you did abandon me. To spend all of your time with one of the patients. And you say you’ve been here for much longer than me, and you’re right. But you seem to have forgotten one of the basic rules of being a doctor, which is not to harm our patients.”
“How have I harmed a patient?” I’ve halved the distance between us before I realize I’m so close to him. “When have I ever?”
“We’re not supposed to date patients. It’s clearly against the rules. Not only does it impair our judgment, it gives them hope that can fall away when you get bored of her. You might think you love her now, that you are helping her, but what happens if you move on? Where will she be then? Certainly not better off than she was, which is exactly the opposite of what our job entails.”
There are just so many things wrong with Joshua’s argument, the highest of which is that April and I are not dating. We’re just old friends reconnecting after years apart. Not even that, because we could hardly be considered friends before this, but more like mutual allies of my sister.
“You should know that I’ve filed a formal complaint,” he says, breaking through my thoughts.
“Everyone already knows that. It’s why you’re Dr. Phelp’s new whipping boy.”
“I’m not his—” He starts with a fever before pulling back and saying more calmly, “Anyway, it’s not that complaint. That one has already been dealt with. I’ve put you up for negligence of duty. You’re probably going to get called in sometime in the next month for a meeting with the board. They know all about your little girlfriend and how it’s affecting your work. I’ve kept detailed records.”
This time I don’t stop myself from throwing myself in the little weasel’s face. My chest is out like a silver-backed gorilla daring his opponent to make the first move. Joshua may have the bravery to stab me in the back, but he cowers when facing me directly. The fact that I have six inches and fifty pounds on him probably contributes to this fact.
“Forget what I said about being sorry. In fact, I’ve probably done you a favor. All I asked for you in exchange for my tutelage was a coffee now and then. You’re going to figure out really soon that Dr. Phelps isn’t so easy to please. That when one of his patients dies because he’s so busy having his ego stroked by little first-years like you, that it’s one of you he’s going to shift the blame onto. And there won’t be anything you can do to convince others that it wasn’t your fault, because this place isn’t so black and white. It’s a dull gray that colors your soul in its palette.”
Before he can reply I tear off into the shower. After thirty seconds of steaming in the water, my blood pressure increasing at every memory of Joshua’s snotty face, I crank the handle over to cold, relishing in the way the onslaught of icy water takes my breath away, washing my anger down the drain. As I soap up, rubbing my hands over abs that are not quite as finely toned as they were a few weeks ago when I last went to the gym, I wonder why I got into Joshua’s face like that. Everything he said was true to a point. I have been neglecting some of my duties. Not the ones that matter, but the ones that make you look busy in others’ eyes. All for some girl that I wasn’t even close with before.
Except, she isn’
t just some girl now. She is April. My April.
Oh shit.
My April? Am I falling for my sister’s best friend? No, I realize. It’s too late for that. I’ve already taken the plunge.
Chapter 7
April
Life was so much simpler before the accident.
Everything was so clear back then. I knew exactly who I was in any given circumstance. At university, I was the girl who was lucky to be there. The one who could only afford to read textbooks if they were borrowed from the library. The student who sat in the front of lectures, despite my tendency to fall asleep on my crossed arms, a habit I could thank my multiple part-time jobs for.
At work, I was simply the go-getter. The employee given responsibility above my title due to never being late. The one who always took extra shifts when they popped up.
In my free time, I was, well, nothing. Because free time was such a rarity back then. If an afternoon wasn’t filled with classes or work, I was either studying or catching up on sleep or, much too sparingly as of late, hanging out with Ashley.
Everything is backwards now. Finn’s already confirmed that I won’t be able to return to classes this semester. Thankfully the university is allowing me to shift the money I already used for tuition this term to the next one. If I can even go then. It all depends on how fast I recover.
I also don’t have any part-time jobs right now, which should mean no money, but as it turns out, the car that hit me was driving the wrong way down a one-way street. Not only that, but it was some trust-fund kid whose lawyer is supposed to be coming here today to discuss some sort of hush deal so I don’t take them to court.
Lastly there’s the matter of free time. Whereas it was an endangered species not too long ago, recently it has made a strong upturn in vitality. Free time is now all that I have. In fact, there’s too much of it now, as if I’ve been saving it up all these years and now I’ve been told if I don’t use it, I’ll lose it everything.
A Sweet, Sexy Collection 1: 5 Insta-love, New Adult, Steamy Romance Novellas (Sweet, Sexy Shorts) Page 8