I feel him sigh as much as I hear it. “I get that. But you should know this isn’t easy for me either.” He places his fork down and turns his hand over so his fingers can wrap around mine. “Outside of my studies, I don’t have a life. What that translates into is a dating life that’s been hooked up to a ventilator for years. Seriously, I was ready to pull the plug on the whole possibility of finding someone until I was done with graduate studies. And that’s years and years down the road.”
There’s nothing I can really say to this. I can tell there’s more he’s not telling me. Some secret in his past that prevents him from seeking out new connections, same as me. But he’s obviously not ready to share it yet. All I can do is keep holding him. Aaron’s next sigh is on the other end of the spectrum, far away from discontent.
“We’ll take it slow.”
“But not too slow,” he finally says and gestures towards the plates stacked with pancakes. “Wouldn’t want our breakfast growing cold.”
After breakfast, Aaron offers to clean the dishes, but I stop him. “I got this,” I say. “Besides, don’t you need to hand that paper in?”
“Shit,” he says and looks at the clock. “I’m glad I managed to wake up early and finish it off real quick, but I gotta go.”
“You’ve got half an hour,” I say as he ties his shoes. “I mean, I know it’s due at noon, but what’s the rush?”
“It takes me thirty minutes to walk there. Twenty if I run a bit.”
“Where’s your car?”
He freezes up at this, bent down over his left shoe. “I don’t have one,” he says without looking up.
I shrug. “Well, I do. Let me just grab my keys. I’ll give you a ride.”
“You really don’t need—”
“Stop.” I hold up a hand. “You cooked me breakfast. You slept over when I was too scared to let you go. Most importantly, you didn't call the cops on the crazy girl who nearly killed you with pepper spray. The least I can do is give you a ride.”
He doesn’t fight me after this, which is good for him, because I can be mighty stubborn. But once we’re on the road, I regret forcing him into accepting. He’s huddled up in the passenger seat, eyes on his lap, not engaging in any of the small talk I’m throwing at him. It’s a complete change from the upbeat guy who cooked me breakfast only half an hour ago.
“What’s up?”
“Nothing,” he says gruffly, not even looking up. As soon as I pull to a stop in front of the main building, he hops out of the car, seemingly unable to spend even one more second with me. He doesn’t say a single word and doesn't look back. He just leaves me sitting here, wondering how I managed to screw up the first good thing that’s happened to me since my life came crashing down.
Chapter 10
Aaron
When I knock on Professor Nestor’s office door, he calls for me to come in.
“I was wondering if you would make it on time,” he says.
I drop the paper on his desk, say, “I’m sorry it was almost late,” and make a U-turn, ready to leave him to his grading. But Professor Nestor calls out to me before I make it back to the hallway.
“Do you have a moment? There’s actually something I wanted to discuss with you.”
I freeze, my mind automatically jumping to the worst-case scenario. “Is there a problem with my work?”
Professor Nestor waves this suggestion off as if it were a pesky fly. “Far from it. Here, take a seat. Would you like a cup of coffee? My wife bought me this coffee capsule machine despite my protests that it’s absolutely terrible for the environment. But now I can enjoy a cup of cappuccino from the comfort of my office, so I guess it’s worth killing off a few polar bears.” He smiles at this when I don’t. “That was a joke. You’re supposed to laugh.”
I shake my head to clear it. “I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“From the red in your eyes, I’d say you haven’t been sleeping well either. Everything alright?”
After self-consciously rubbing at my eyes, I say, “I’m fine. You know, I will take that cup of coffee.”
At this, Professor Nestor leaps to his coffee machine and whips up two mugs of frothy cappuccino. “The reason I wanted to speak to you is that I need your opinion on a university matter.”
“I’m not sure how much help I can be.”
“On the contrary, you’re exactly the man I need to speak with. You see, I need a student’s perspective on this issue, and who better than my top student?”
I take a sip at my mug. “There’s no way I’m the top student in your class. You must have hundreds of students.”
“And not one of them scores as high as you do on exams. Nor do they put in the same level of effort completing their papers.” Professor Nestor sighs, leans back, and holds his coffee with both hands. “This is a community college. As such, we don’t always attract students with the highest level of academic rigor. Of course, there are always exceptions. Now, I’ll stop being a tease and get right down to it.” He leans forward, his eyes square on mine. “Our sister university, as you may well know, is the Mississippi State, just a few miles up the road. They’ve recently opened up a new scholarship for outstanding students who have already completed two years of community college. I happen to be on the board to choose the lucky recipient of this full-ride scholarship.”
“And you want me to recommend a student?” Here I give a sad little laugh. “You’ve got the wrong guy in that case. I don’t really know any of the other students. I don’t have time between my studies, part-time job, and my family.”
“Oh,” Professor Nestor says with a knowing smile. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got exactly the right guy. So do you accept?”
“Excuse me?”
“Top student but still slow on the uptake,” Professor Nestor says with a friendly smile. “I recommended you. It’s yours for the taking. So what do you say? Do you accept?”
How can I possibly turn down an offer like this? A full ride is not something that will come my way again. It absolutely blows my plans of saving enough money working full-time to maybe take one or two courses a semester, putting my graduation date years and years down the road. This way, I could be finished in two years time, even faster if I elect for summer courses. This is a literal dream come true. There’s only one problem.
“Can I have a night to sleep on it?”
Professor Nestor understandably wrinkles his forehead at this. “Think about what? Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m a bit shocked you’re not jumping up and down right now. I wasn’t expecting a hug or anything, but I fought hard for this opportunity. So why do you look like I’ve just offered you a soggy week-old sandwich?’
I’m biting my lips through his little speech. “It’s not that I’m not thankful. I mean, I am. Of course. It’s just a little more complicated than that. My house is a bit far from the university, so I’m not sure how I can get there and back each day.”
Professor Nestor is flipping through a file. He points to a paper. “But it says right here that you live right off Smith Street. That’s only, what, seven miles from the university? Don’t you have a car?”
I shake my head at this.
“Then we’ll get you a dorm room. You can live on campus. Problem solved.”
“My job is on the other side of town,” I say in what even I can hear is a pathetic excuse to avoid giving him an answer right now. “Plus, my mom lives alone. I need to check in on her at least once a week.”
“Then get a ride with a friend!” Professor Nestor’s face is flushed. His jaw flexes as he struggles to contain his frustration. “I really don’t get why you’re so against this. What’s really going on here?”
My mouth opens, the truth ready to fall from my tongue. But I clamp my teeth. The real reason I’m not jumping at this opportunity is far too embarrassing to air in the open daylight. It’s something I would only ever admit in the early mornings, sitting outside on a patio, sipping at beers and delving into the meaning of li
fe with very old friends.
“Thank you again for the opportunity,” I say, standing and making for the door. “I promise that I’ll get back to you right away with my answer.”
Without waiting for him to reply, I slip out of his office and practically run down the hallway, only to start the long walk back home.
Chapter 11
Kat
Aaron doesn’t show up or call before dinner like he said he would. We were going to order Thai together and watch another movie, but I’m guessing that once he got out of here this morning, he found a million and a half reasons not to come back. It’s not like I’m exactly a catch. No guy wants to initiate sex only to have the girl get all weepy and too emotional to continue.
Still, I can’t help but wonder where he is. Since he never gave me his exact address, all I can do is wander over to his building and loiter around, hoping to talk to somebody who might know him.
This all sounded easy enough in my head. Like some kind of wonderful movie scene where the roles are reversed and I serenade him while he leans over his balcony. But when I get outside, the sun is setting. His building has little in the way of outside lights, so hanging around feels like I’m up to no good.
Several people walk past me on their way into the building. All of them men. They run their eyes up and down my figure but don’t speak to me, and I don’t have the courage to pipe up and ask if they know Aaron. My plan to find him is falling apart faster than a slice of bread in a Koi pond.
After a quarter of an hour that feels ten times longer, I give up. Taking the shorter way home, I cut through a playground, more rust than red paint. The creaking of the chains on the swing alerts me that I’m not alone. I nearly turn around, remembering what almost happened the last time I took a short cut. Then I see the hoodie the person on the swing is wearing. Steve’s old hoodie.
“Aaron.”
He doesn’t look up. That’s when I see the outline of his headphones wrapped around his head. I ease up in front of him, waving my hands and trying to get his attention so I don’t startle him too much, but he’s not responding. Finally I’m right in front of him, squatting down so we’re face-to-face. His eyes are closed. For half a second I wonder if he’s somehow managed to fall asleep, but then his eyelids spring open and his wild eyes meet mine right before his hands shoot up and shove me backwards.
“Shit!” Aaron says after I end up on my back. Thankfully, the playground has this flaking rubber surface covering the ground, so my little tumble has cost me nothing but my pride. “I’m so sorry. Shit.”
I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it. We first met when I thought he was attacking me. Now we’ve come full circle. Though I definitely got the better end of the deal. “It’s fine, really.”
“God. I just opened my eyes and someone was there, you know. Right there. I didn’t know what was going on.” He reaches out a hand that I grab. After he pulls me back up, our hands don’t let go. We sit back on the swings, side-by-side, arms dangling in the space between us.
“It looked like you were thinking pretty hard.”
“Yeah.”
“Did it hurt?”
His eyebrows come together as he puzzles over this question. When he turns to me, I’m all smiles at my corny joke. “Oh, har, har. Yes, it hurt.” He knocks on the side of his head with his free hand.
“So what’s going on?” I squeeze his hand and keep my eyes locked on the ground in front of me. “Is it about us?”
“No,” he says calmly at first. Then, with more energy, he goes on to say, “No. Nothing like that. I mean, I do think about us. About last night. But not like in a—”
“—in a negative way that would explain you hanging out at the playground at night all by yourself?” I finish for him.
“Exactly.”
I wait for him to continue, to give me some sort of detail, but he’s silent again. The only sound is a faint drone from the headphones now hanging around his neck.
“So what’s got you all worried then?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Tell me anyway. Maybe I like stupid things. I mean, I like you.” Another joke. This time it earns me half a smile.
“I’ve been offered a scholarship at Mississippi State.”
“How is that stupid? That’s awesome.” I reach out with my foot and kick him as we swing. “I really liked it there before, well…you know. But before I dropped out, it was great.” We both fall quiet, both trapped in our own miserable thoughts. Only I still don’t get what Aaron has to be down like this for. “I don’t see the problem. Were you hoping for a different school? Maybe somewhere out of state?”
I bite my lip at the thought of him moving away. It’s silly. We’ve only just met, but I’m comfortable around him.
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” I squeeze his hand, realizing that last question might have come out too harshly. “Listen. I want to help, or at least listen, but I can’t do either of those if you don’t start talking. So do you think you can tell me what’s going on? I mean, I told you my story. You can tell me what’s hanging you up, right?”
Aaron sighs, the motion lifting his whole body before dropping him back down again. “Remember how I told you that I live alone with my mom? Most people think it’s because my dad left us, but that’s not it.” Aaron’s voice cracks, but he continues. “A few years ago, him and my little brother were on the way to this paintball birthday party. My mom wanted me to take him, but I was being a typical bratty teenager at the time. Even after working sixty hours that week, my dad didn’t want to let Grant down. That was my brother’s name.”
My heart stops when Aaron uses the past tense to refer to his brother. I can see where this story is going. I’ve lived through it myself.
“On their way back it was dark. There was this other driver, some businessman who was also working his ass off for his family. He wasn’t drunk or anything. Just tired. He fell asleep at the wheel and his car drifted into the other lane.”
When Aaron trails off, I take it as a cue for me to get off my swing and bend down in front of him, enveloping him in the best hug I can manage at this angle. At first he’s tense, but then he melts against me.
“The first aid guys, medics or whatever you call them. They said it was quick. That neither of them suffered. But it wasn’t quick for my mom and me. That was four years ago, but it still feels like yesterday.”
I hold him while silent tears run down his cheeks. When Aaron finally pulls away from me, he wipes at my eyes. I didn’t even know I was crying.
“Anyway, ever since then I’ve had this phobia of being in cars.”
Without thinking, I snap my fingers. I immediately bite my lips when I realize the insensitive nature of this gesture, but I explain by saying, “Earlier today when I drove you to the college. I thought you were angry at me for something.”
“Nope,” he explains. “That’s what a panic attack looks like. For me at least.”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“Which was my intention. Do you know how embarrassing this is? My boss thinks I walk to work because I’m poor. That’s only a couple of miles a day, but the university is seven miles away. I can’t be walking that round trip every day.”
I’m holding both of his hands now, watching as he looks anywhere but at me, trying in vain to hide his weakness. Not that he has any reason to be ashamed. We’re both broken. Him unable to get in cars. Me unable to go outside after dark without thinking everyone is out to get me.
That’s when it hits me. The idea floods my brain in an instant. One moment, there’s nothing. The next, I know exactly what we can do. Two seconds ago, I didn’t believe in fate, but now I’m not so sure. Because last night when I maced Aaron, we weren’t in the wrong place at the wrong time. We were both exactly where we needed to be.
I hold my hand out and pull him off the swing. “You up for a little walk?”
Chapter 12
&nb
sp; Aaron
Thirty minutes and nearly two miles later, we’ve reached a small enclave of apartments. It’s not like the thirty-story monstrosities they have in some of the larger cities, but there’s an elevator that Kat pulls me onto. It takes us all the way to the third floor.
“Where are we going?” I ask for probably the tenth time. “Are we there yet?”
“You know,” Kat says, pulling me along. “For someone who acts all strong and silent, you sure do sound like a little kid on a road trip sometimes. But you can finally stop asking. We’re here.”
The door in front of us says 3E. The lights inside are off. Whoever’s inside must be sleeping already, despite the fact that it’s only around nine. Kat doesn’t knock or ring the doorbell though. Instead, she pulls a key from her purse.
“Whose place is this?”
She smiles at me as the door swings open. “Mine.” Before we step in, she stops me with both her arms around my waist. “Wait.”
I do as she says, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s just looking at me, biting her lips. “What’s up?” I ask.
“I know I just said it was my place, but what if it could be our place?”
My heart tumbles forward, lodging itself somewhere below my tonsils. “Our place?”
“I know we haven’t known each other for that long, but it’s perfect. It’s only a forty-five-minute walk to the university. And when you want to visit your mother, you don’t have to walk all the way from the university. We’re halfway between here. And I won’t have to walk around clenching pepper spray in my pocket anymore.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I won’t be walking alone. I hope. I signed up for next semester. It’s the reason my dad got me this place. I mean, I get it if this is too much, too fast. We only met last night.” At the tail end of this sentence, Kat’s self confidence takes a nosedive so sharp I can practically hear it whistling on its way to the ground. “But I like you. And it might be fun, and it’s certainly—”
A Sweet, Sexy Collection 1: 5 Insta-love, New Adult, Steamy Romance Novellas (Sweet, Sexy Shorts) Page 20