On the Rocks

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On the Rocks Page 3

by Lisa Carlisle


  I prefer the term ghost whisperer to ghost hunter, because after all, I’m not hunting any spirits. It’s not a challenge to find them, but it can be to calm a troubled spirit.

  “What’s the issue, Ms. Swanson?”

  “Please, call me Karen,” she said. After I agreed, she continued. “We’re having a problem with a spirit here in the B&B. She’s been peaceful until recently, and we hadn’t minded having her around. Actually, she was good for business.”

  “How so?”

  “She draws people in, especially around Halloween—makes us stand out among the other inns competing for leaf peepers coming up for the weekends.”

  “I see,” I added. Just another establishment using their spirit as a marketing hook. I glanced out the window to check how my garden was doing. The soil appeared dry. I should get out there and water it after this call. Karen brought me back to the matter at hand.

  “Recently, she’s becoming a nuisance, getting louder by banging pots and pans or slamming doors. Instead of amusing our guests, she’s disrupting them.”

  “What would you like me to do?”

  “Can you just sort of…talk to her or something? See what’s making her so upset?”

  “Sooo… you don’t want me to convince her to cross over or anything? You want her to stay. But try to calm her down?”

  “Yes, exactly. Like I said, she’s good for business.”

  Money makes the world go round. “Got it.”

  Nice. An easy gig. But I still had to give her my spiel so she’d know what to expect.

  Typically, I tailor my pitch for the client depending on when and how we meet—over the phone, in person, via e-mail. Generally, it runs along the lines of, “I’m not some ghost hunter who’s gonna come in there with all kinds of gadgets, poking around to detect heat and whatnot. And I’m not going to get all spooky going into a trance to tell spirits to go into the light or cross over to the other side like they do in the movies. What I can do is sense spirits. As you can guess, that’s a pretty rare gift, if I don’t say so myself. I don’t need any fancy technology to sense spirits. What I do when I come to your place is try to establish communication with them. Some spirits never shut up. They’re just dying to talk to someone after all these years.” I pause so we can all laugh at my bad joke.

  “But some others aren’t so easy to open up. Usually men.” I smile knowingly at a female if one’s in the room or wink at a male if one is present. “So I can’t guarantee the results you want. And there are no refunds. I charge for my time no matter the outcome.

  “If you want to get rid of them, I basically communicate to the spirits gently, let them know they’ve left the world of the living and they need to move on. Some of them don’t know they’re stuck in limbo where they are. Then I explain how they need to move on to the next plane of existence, if you will. If the spirit follows my instructions, great. You’re ghost-free. The spirit has moved on. Everyone’s happy. If not, well, I try to coax them to be less disruptive to the living. And if they’re just downright bad and won’t leave, call an exorcist.

  “What I can guarantee is that I’ll sense whether you have an actual spirit there. And I’ll make sure your message is passed on. But remember, they were once human. So they have a mind of their own.” I then finish with a smile. “Or had.”

  Karen listened patiently as I gave her a condensed version over the phone since we already knew what she wanted.

  Then she said, “There’s a problem I should mention.”

  Uh oh, here it comes. I should’ve known better than to think it would be an easy weekend gig.

  “What’s that?”

  “A few of our guests in the past few months have gotten ill and had to leave.”

  I furrowed my brows. “Why do you think that is?”

  “We’ve been trying to figure it out. We’ve ruled out food poisoning since others have eaten the same food without a problem. We’ve ruled out a virus since the cases are weeks apart and only strike one person. The only thing they have in common is that they’re young females, single, 20-30s, and attractive.”

  Hmm, a little twist in the story. That’s all right, who doesn’t enjoy a mystery? I’d tap into my inner Miss Marple and pick apart the clues to solve the case.

  “Odd. You think the spirit might be involved somehow?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean that’s the only thing we can think of. Who else would do it? We think she might be jealous of their youth or life or something.”

  “Why do you think the spirit is of a female?”

  “We don’t know for sure. But the few guests who have had an encounter with her mentioned a hearing female voice or seeing a silhouette of a female.”

  “And there hasn’t been any violence against these women who have become ill?”

  “No. They just get sick, stomach pains and nausea usually, and go home.”

  I glanced around my messy kitchen as I thought about this scenario. This was something new, I’d never encountered a spirit who could cause illness. How would they really? It doesn’t make any sense. Nevertheless, I was Sybil Channing and up for the challenge.

  Buy at Amazon.com

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