‘‘You don’t know how much I want to believe you.’’
They headed toward the wide double door. A young woman held it open for them. Once inside, they were greeted by Lucien, the owner of the restaurant, who knew Todd on sight and quickly showed them to their table. Todd nodded at the several patrons with whom he was familiar. For a moment he didn’t know what to do. Should he introduce Beth? If she’d been someone he was dating, he would have paused to talk with his friends. But she wasn’t a real date. She was… He frowned as he realized he didn’t know what she was. A fulfillment of an obligation?
But as he took the seat across from her and stared into her wide and wary blue eyes, he realized she was much more than an obligation. Despite the fact that he’d dreaded the evening and had wanted to think up an excuse to cancel, now that he was with her, he found himself having fun.
‘‘Well, that confirmed everything,’’ she said, when the waiter had placed the napkin on her lap before retreating to give them a few minutes to discuss their drink order. ‘‘What do you mean?’’ Todd asked.
‘‘Just that if I hadn’t been completely sure I wasn’t your type, all those interested stares and raised eyebrows just confirmed the truth.’’
Annoyance threaded through him. Not at her—everything about this situation was designed to make her feel uncomfortable—but at his supposed friends who had looked down at her.
‘‘Now it’s my turn to apologize,’’ he said. ‘‘I should have picked a different kind of restaurant.’’
‘‘Fast food?’’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘‘I assure you, I know which fork to use.’’
‘‘Not at all. Just a place where we could get a quiet booth in the back and talk.’’ He motioned to their seats in the center of the room. His usual table put them on display. Normally he enjoyed that, but not tonight.
He found himself in the unusual position of actually liking Beth. He thought she was bright and funny. She had dreaded their date as much as he had, yet she was being a good sport about everything. He liked that he could hold a conversation with her, which he realized didn’t say much about the other women he dated. He didn’t really think of them as younger, although he was starting to realize that while he’d gotten older over the past fifteen or twenty years, the age of the women he’d dated hadn’t changed at all. Maybe he was going to have to do something about that.
‘‘What would you like to drink?’’ he asked Beth.
She’d opened her menu and was staring at the selection. She leaned toward him. ‘‘There aren’t any prices.’’
‘‘I didn’t ask you what anything cost, I asked if you would like a drink.’’
Her hair was short and layered, with wisps of bangs across her forehead. Perhaps as a child she’d had freckles— most redheads did—but hers had long since faded until her skin was pale and creamy.
‘‘But I’ve never ordered from a menu that didn’t have prices,’’ she persisted. ‘‘I have to know how much I’m spending.’’
‘‘Why?’’
She opened her mouth, but no sound emerged.
‘‘Are madame and monsieur ready to order a cocktail?’’ the tuxedo-clad waiter asked as he silently reappeared by their table.
‘‘Beth?’’
She stared at him. ‘‘I don’t know. Maybe a glass of wine?’’
‘‘I thought I’d order a bottle with dinner. Would you like something else before?’’
She shrugged helplessly. ‘‘I guess.’’ She lowered her voice. ‘‘I suppose a margarita would be tacky, but that’s the only cocktail I drink.’’
‘‘How about a Cosmopolitan,’’ Todd offered. ‘‘I think you’ll like it.’’
‘‘Fine.’’
He ordered that for Beth and a Tanqueray on the rocks for himself.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, until the drinks were delivered. Beth stared at the reddish-pink liquid in the martini glass. ‘‘I was worried about not being sophisticated, but I guess my drink is sophisticated enough for the both of us.’’ She took a sip, then pressed her lips together. ‘‘Actually it’s very nice. Thank you for suggesting it.’’
‘‘You’re welcome.’’
The waiter hovered. ‘‘Would madame and monsieur like to hear about the specials?’’
What Todd wanted was a few minutes of conversation with Beth…alone. But that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. ‘‘Sure,’’ he said.
The well-trained server spoke about the appetizer of the day, then the soup. Todd watched as Beth visibly blanched at the mention of bone marrow flan as an accompaniment with the boeuf du jour.
When the waiter had left them to discuss their choices, she swallowed hard. ‘‘Did he really say bone marrow flan?’’
‘‘It’s just a side dish with the roast beef.’’
‘‘Just a side dish. Great. Maybe I could get my entrée delivered on a plate that has never been contaminated by bone marrow anything.’’ She shuddered. ‘‘I was going to tease you by saying I just wanted a hamburger, but I wouldn’t trust this place with something like that. Who knows what they would put in it.’’
He grinned. ‘‘The salmon seems safe enough.’’
‘‘Right. It’s probably decorated with little fish teeth.’’
‘‘I don’t think fish have teeth.’’
‘‘Sharks do.’’
‘‘Then don’t order the shark.’’
Her gaze held his. Despite her complaints, he could see the humor lurking in her eyes. ‘‘I don’t get out much,’’ she said. ‘‘But you get out way too much.’’
‘‘Maybe.’’
‘‘There’s enough jewelry in this room to send my daughter’s entire grade to college for four years.’’
He glanced around the room. He hadn’t noticed before, but Beth was right. Many of the women wore large, glittering stones set in earrings, bracelets and necklaces. In contrast Beth was simply dressed. Her only jewelry was a pair of pearl earrings.
‘‘It’s okay to state the obvious,’’ she told him. ‘‘I don’t fit in here.’’
‘‘Of course you belong here,’’ he said automatically, and knew it was a lie. Even though he didn’t want her to be, he knew she was right. ‘‘I should have planned something different,’’ he said, then realized he hadn’t planned this at all. He’d asked his secretary to make reservations somewhere nice. He hadn’t cared enough to participate in the planning more than that. But now he was sorry. He wanted Beth to be having a better time.
‘‘We could start a food fight,’’ he offered. ‘‘That would change the atmosphere.’’
‘‘I don’t let my kids do that at home, so I’m not going to let you do that here.’’ She pushed back her chair and rose to her feet. ‘‘Excuse me, Todd. I’ll be right back.’’
He watched her cross the carpeted floor as she headed for the ladies’ room. If someone had told him just three hours ago that he would actually care about the outcome of his blind date with a middle-aged housewife, he would have laughed in his face. But now he found himself in the uncomfortable position of wanting to make Beth happy for the evening and not having a clue as to how to make that happen.
*
Beth told herself to keep breathing but the instruction wasn’t helping. She could feel herself panicking. She didn’t belong in this restaurant. ‘‘Or with that man,’’ she murmured, trying to ignore the fact that the lounge of the ladies’ room was not only better decorated than her house, it was also about the same size as her living room.
The walls were papered in an expensive print and the furniture looked custom-made. She didn’t want to think about how nice the actual bathroom area might be. It was all too depressing.
She faced the mirror and pretended to fix her makeup. Several women came and went as she wasted time and tried to gather the courage to face Todd Graham again. What on earth must he think of her? Not only was she completely unprepared to be anyone’s date, let alone that of a notorious bach
elor like himself, but she’d put her foot in her mouth at least a half dozen times. She still couldn’t believe that she’d confessed she might throw up in the car, or the fuss she’d made about the menu not having prices, or her horror at the mention of bone marrow flan. Of course the latter explained why so many rich women were thin. If that’s all they had to eat, starvation was a far more pleasant state of being.
He probably thought she’d never been outside of the Sugar Land city limits, let alone out of the state. Her only saving grace was that she didn’t actually have hay in her hair.
They had nothing in common. She’d suspected they wouldn’t. But suspecting and knowing were two very different states of mind. She’d never felt so out of place in her life. These people were different. Even the waiter in timidated her. The worst part was Todd was being so nice. If he’d stayed true to character—a jerk only interested sleeping with young women—she might have survived the experience. But he was kind and funny and that made her want to make a good impression on him. Something that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
If only he weren’t so rich…or so good-looking. If only she hadn’t felt heat clear down to her ankles when he’d pulled her hand into the crook of his arm. The old-fashioned gallant gesture had made her feel special and important; then his nearness had nearly taken her breath away. For a moment she’d felt sixteen again, and about as polished.
She gazed at her reflection. Men like him weren’t interested in women like her. Plus, she was a widow. She didn’t have any right to be attracted to another man. It was wrong, not to mention indecent and incredibly disloyal. How would she survive drinks, let alone the meal? With her luck, she would choke on the entrée and end up dying right there on the plushly carpeted floor.
‘‘I can’t do this,’’ Beth murmured to herself.
She reached into her small evening bag and pulled out a tissue. Then she wrote quickly. She was rude and insensitive and fifteen different kinds of coward. She was also leaving.
*
Todd impatiently tapped his fingers against the table. Beth had been gone nearly fifteen minutes. Had something happened? Should he have the waiter send a female member of the staff into the rest room to check on Beth?
Just as he was about to flag the man over, the waiter appeared and pressed a limp tissue into his hand. ‘‘Madame asked me to give you this,’’ he intoned in a voice that dripped with disapproval.
Instantly Todd knew what it was going to say. He opened the note and read it just to confirm his gut’s intuition.
Sorry, Todd, but I’m just not ready for this whole dating ritual. You’ve been kindness itself and I really appreciate that. As far as I’m concerned, you have fulfilled your bachelor auction responsibilities completely. I hope my leaving doesn’t cause you any embarrassment. Some of us aren’t meant to leave the suburbs and I guess I’m one of those people. Please accept my apology.
Beth
*
‘‘Is there a problem?’’ the waiter asked.
Yeah, there was a problem, Todd thought to himself. For the first time in his life, he’d been stood up.
Chapter Three
Beth paid the cabdriver then stared up at her two-story house. It was barely eight o’clock. Both her children were going to know that something was up. She would never have returned this early unless there was a problem. However, the idea of lurking in the shrubbery for two or three hours was even less appealing than confessing all, or at least part, of what had happened, so she headed for the back door.
As per her instructions, it was locked. That made her relax a little. While her lone foray into dating had ended in disaster, at least her kids seemed to be growing up into wonderful, responsible teenagers. Given the choice, she would pick her kids’ success and happiness over her own, any day.
She inserted her key and turned it, then opened the door and made her way to the family room. ‘‘Just me,’’ she called.
Her daughter, Jodi, and her friend Sara both looked up at her in surprise as she stepped into the room.
‘‘I know I’m a little early,’’ she said, careful to keep her voice bright and breezy. ‘‘Everything is fine. I told Todd I would prefer it if we ended our date quickly.’’
Jodi frowned at the VCR clock, then returned her attention to her mother. ‘‘A little early? Did you two even have time to eat?’’
While Beth was willing to stretch the truth slightly, she wasn’t going to out-and-out lie. ‘‘We had drinks.’’
‘‘I thought he was supposed to be buying you dinner.’’ Beth crossed the hardwood floor and kissed her daughter’s forehead. ‘‘He offered and I declined. I’d rather be home.’’ She grabbed a cookie from the plate between the studying girls. ‘‘I’m going upstairs to get changed. Don’t worry about me.’’
With that she was gone. One down and one to go, she thought, pleased Jodi had accepted her explanation so easily. Of course if she knew her daughter, they were going to be talking about this in more detail in the morning. Between now and then, Beth would think of a way to make things sound better than they were.
At the top of the stairs, she slipped out of her pumps and carried them. As she pushed open the half-closed door to her bedroom, she remembered that she’d given Matt permission to watch movies on her television so as not to disturb Jodi and Sara while they studied.
The sounds of an action movie assaulted her as she stepped into the dark bedroom. Matt lay on the bed, his head propped on top of all her pillows and a bowl of popcorn on his stomach.
‘‘Hey, kiddo,’’ she said as she walked toward her closet.
‘‘Mom?’’ Matt set the bowl on the nightstand and sprang to his feet. ‘‘You’re home early. Are you okay?’’
She put her purse on her dresser and turned to look at him. ‘‘I’m fine. Yes, it was a short date, but Todd and I settled for drinks instead of dinner.’’
The twinge of guilt at her semi-lie surprised her. Why should she feel guilty about what had happened? Maybe because she’d left a perfectly nice man in a potentially embarrassing situation, a little voice in her head whispered.
Matt stood in front of her. He was a gangly teen with serious eyes behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Right now, worry pressed his mouth into a straight line.
His too-big hands curled into fists. ‘‘Did something happen? Did he—”His voice cracked and he flushed. ‘‘Did he try something?’’
It took Beth a moment to figure out that her youngest, the boy she still thought of as her baby, was concerned about her safety and planning to protect her. Pain and pride battled for a place in her heart. Pain that he was already so grown-up and it wouldn’t be long before he was gone, and pride for the man he would be when he left home for good.
She cupped Matt’s face in her hands. He wasn’t shaving regularly yet and he still had the blotchy skin of an adolescent, but since the death of his father, he’d done his best to be the man of the house.
‘‘Thank you,’’ she said quietly, and kissed his cheek. ‘‘Thank you for worrying about me. Yes, I’m home before I planned, but that’s because I didn’t stay to have dinner with Todd. Nothing happened.’’
At least nothing in the way Matt thought, Beth reminded herself. If anyone was guilty of behaving badly, she was the one in trouble, not Todd.
‘‘You sure?’’ Matt asked.
‘‘I swear.’’ Beth dropped her hands and made an X over her heart. ‘‘Now let me get changed and I’ll watch the rest of the movie with you.’’
Matt grinned. ‘‘You’ll hate it.’’
‘‘Probably,’’ Beth said as she moved into the bathroom and the closet beyond. ‘‘But I’ll get to make fun of it and annoy you with my sarcastic comments, so that will be entertaining.’’
Fifteen minutes later, she curled up on the opposite side of the bed. The large bowl of popcorn sat between them. While Matt lost himself in the movie, she tried to do the same. Unfortunately not even the sight of bare-chested navy S
EALs was enough to keep her from thinking of Todd. Had he stayed in the restaurant for dinner? she wondered as she crunched popcorn. Or had he left? Did her abrupt departure make him feel embarrassed? She hoped not. She doubted that he would have felt anything but relief, but she wasn’t sure, and that bothered her.
Beth knew she had her faults like everyone else, but she wasn’t a deliberately cruel person. Guilt nibbled away at her until she thought it might have been easier to just endure the entire evening.
But that was part of the problem, she admitted to herself. Being with Todd hadn’t been that difficult, and spending a few more hours in his company wouldn’t have been all that tough to get through. Her uneasiness and discomfort had been about the strangeness of the situation, not to mention the snobby restaurant, not the man himself.
Later, when both her children were in bed and asleep, Beth paced the downstairs. It didn’t matter that she’d told herself to put the evening behind her, nor did telling herself that what she’d done hadn’t been so bad make her feel any better. When she finally crawled between her cool sheets, her mind still whirled. Questions of what she should have done versus what she actually had done followed her into her dreams.
*
Beth awoke to the smell of cinnamon and baking bread. Jodi must have put the ingredients for cinnamon rolls into the bread maker before going to bed the previous night. ‘‘You always were my favorite daughter,’’ she said aloud as she headed for the shower.
Twenty minutes later she stood in her kitchen brewing coffee. The day looked clear. Except for a storm a few days ago, there had been nearly three weeks without rain, which meant she was going to have to continue watering by hand. The neighborhood prided itself on green lawns and lush plants. While Matt had taken charge of the mowing, trimming and raking, he wasn’t much for watering.
‘‘Morning.’’
Beth turned around and saw her daughter leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.
‘‘Morning, yourself. It’s early for you.’’ She glanced at the clock on the wall and raised her eyebrows. ‘‘Barely nine and on a Saturday, too. Whatever is the world coming to?’’
Beth and the Bachelor Page 3