He slipped a hand between them, found her panties and groaned in frustration.
‘‘Stand up,’’ he demanded hoarsely.
She stumbled to her feet. He quickly stripped off her underwear, then pulled her back to him. This time his fingers encountered bare, damp flesh.
She didn’t have time to care that she was naked, something she had sworn he would never see. None of that seemed to matter now. Not when he was kissing her so deeply, and his hand was stroking her so perfectly. He moved in a slow circle, ever closer to that most sensitive place, then he found it. She gasped and surged against him. His free hand closed over her breast. He teased her nipple with the same rhythm as his kiss, as his touch against that tiny point of pleasure.
‘‘Too much,’’ she gasped against his mouth as the sensations overwhelmed her. There was too much to think about, too much to feel. His fingertip brushed against her again and again, with exactly the right pressure and speed, and she was getting so close. She moved her hips, flexing against him, barely aware that he allowed her to set the pace, that she guided him with her body, showing him how she wanted it to be.
She forgot to be shy as the heat filled her and she shrugged off the robe. She was a wild creature. Naked and exposed and filled with a passionate pleasure she’d nearly forgotten existed.
At the last possible second, she broke their kiss and stared at him. She stood on the edge of paradise. He stared at her, his irises so dilated, his eyes looked black.
‘‘Yes,’’ he whispered, and rubbed faster.
It was all she needed. The explosion was hard and fast, rippling through her, pulling her apart, making her cry out and cling to him.
Even as the last drop of pleasure left her, she found herself being lifted, then lowered. She was on her back on the floor, stretched out on the thick robe. Todd loomed over her. She read his happiness and the questions.
‘‘I’m fine,’’ she told him. ‘‘That was amazing and I’m fine.’’
‘‘Good.’’
She stroked his bare chest. ‘‘That was pretty wild for an old lady like me. I can’t believe we did it on the sofa.’’
‘‘Now we’re going to do it on the floor.’’
‘‘I guess so.’’
He kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. She’d thought she might be embarrassed afterward, but she wasn’t. She was content. She’d been right to trust him.
He kissed her, then dipped lower and traced a damp trail down her chest to her breasts. She was still flushed from her release, but her body quickly collected itself as he nipped at her sensitive skin. His hands were everywhere, touching, learning, teasing her back into mindlessness. She had a brief thought of bumps and stretch marks, then quickly dismissed any worry. Everything he did felt too good.
When his mouth moved lower, to her belly, then drifting to her hipbones, then her thighs, before finally coming to rest against her most private place, she didn’t know what to think. No one had ever done that to her before. Of course she’d read about it, but she’d never, they’d never… Was he going to kiss her there?
Before she could figure out if this was a good thing or a bad thing, he was licking her, circling around the tender point of pleasure. Her arousal was as quick and unexpected as it was intense. Her entire body tensed in anticipation of a release so perfect, she might just die if it didn’t happen.
‘‘I can’t,’’ she murmured as she clutched the thick robe and tossed her head from side to side. She couldn’t. She’d just had her release. It was too soon. But she could and she was. Already the heat filled her, making the bottoms of her feet burn and her face hot. She thrust her hips toward him, urging him to continue, to never stop. Need spiraled inside of her, pushing higher and higher. He moved his tongue against her, then slipped a single finger inside of her waiting dampness.
She practically screamed out her release. She convulsed into shards of pure perfection, pulling back her knees, exposing all of herself to him, losing herself in the moment.
He waited until the last ripple had faded, then stretched out next to her and pulled her close. As he stroked her hair, he murmured that she was fine, that he would keep her safe. It was only then that she realized she was crying. He rocked her against him until the tears faded.
‘‘What’s happening?’’ she asked. ‘‘I didn’t know it could be like this. I’ve never, um…’’ She paused.
He grinned. ‘‘You’ve never climaxed twice or you’ve never made love that way?’’
She had to clear her throat before speaking. ‘‘Well, both.’’
‘‘I’m glad.’’
His kiss was tender. He drew her head against his shoulder. She rested her arm on his chest and wondered how this had turned out so right.
‘‘Thank you for everything,’’ she said.
‘‘I just wanted to make you happy.’’
‘‘You did a fine job.’’
They held each other for a long time, then she decided enough was enough. She was finally ready to see him naked.
‘‘All right,’’ she said, raising herself up on one elbow. ‘‘Strip.’’
Todd laughed. ‘‘Yes, ma’am.’’
He stood up, took off his shirt, unfastened his belt, then lowered his fly. In one smooth movement, he pushed down his slacks and briefs. His arousal sprang free, long and thick and very male.
He placed his hands on his hips. ‘‘How many naked men have you seen before?’’
‘‘Counting you?’’
‘‘Sure.’’
‘‘Two.’’
‘‘Do you like it?’’
She reached up and touched his smooth warmth. He was bigger than she’d expected, bigger than she was used to, but she didn’t think that was going to be a bad thing.
She touched him tentatively with the tip of her finger, then smoothed her hand down his hard length. ‘‘I like it and you very much.’’
He dropped into a crouch and stared at her. ‘‘I want you. I want to make love with you. But if you’re too nervous for me to be inside of you, there are other ways of making this work.’’
His words raised all kinds of interesting questions that she would have to remember to ask him later, she thought as she lay back and held out her arms. ‘‘I want you inside of me,’’ she said. ‘‘Please.’’
He reached into his slacks pocket and pulled out a condom. After slipping it over himself, he knelt between her parted thighs. ‘‘I want you,’’ he repeated.
‘‘I want you, too,’’ she responded, then smiled. ‘‘What with all the foreplay, we don’t have to worry that I’m not ready.’’
‘‘I know.’’ His smile was very satisfied.
He moved slowly, filling her, stretching her until she felt long-dormant nerve endings springing to life. His gaze locked with hers as he moved in and out of her body.
They were on the floor of his living room. This was a far cry from the romantic setting she’d imagined when she’d thought about this moment, but everything was exactly right. She touched his face, his arms, his mouth. They continued to stare at each other while they made love. Beth felt pieces of herself connecting with him. Was this bonding? Was she being irrevocably joined with this man?
Before she could answer the question, she felt her body collecting itself.
‘‘It’s happening again,’’ she breathed.
‘‘Good.’’
He moved faster, deeper, plunging into her, taking her with him. She tensed and pressed up against him. The tingling filled her, the tension. Passion grew and tightened, then exploded into a rippling wave that stretched on infinitely, renewing itself with each thrust of Todd’s body.
Again and again until he cried out her name and stiffened. Both still looking at each other, both experiencing the ultimate pleasure, she felt her muscles shudder around him, milking him dry and leaving him in no doubt of what he’d done to her.
Chapter Fifteen
Todd awoke just a
fter dawn and parted the drapes a little so that he could watch Beth sleep. She curled up on her side, facing him, one bare arm exposed, the rest of her buried under the covers.
They’d returned to the bedroom a little after midnight where they’d talked for hours, made love again and had finally fallen asleep in a tangle of naked arms and legs. He couldn’t have gotten more than a couple of hours’ rest, but he wasn’t tired. Energy, joy, something coursed through him, making him feel more alive than he had in years.
He stared down at her and smiled. Her hair was mussed, but still a beautiful shade of red. Her pale skin looked luminescent in the early-morning light. She’d warned him dozens of times that making love with her was going to be different than making love with young women in their early twenties. She’d been right. Her body had felt different. She had marks from her pregnancies, badges of honor from bringing forth new life. While he, like most men, could appreciate the appeal of youth, he’d found that what he really wanted in his bed was someone he cared about.
For the first time in his life he understood the difference between sex and making love. For the first time he understood that physical intimacy was about connecting the spirit as well as the body. He had felt things with her he’d never experienced before. Not just physical pleasure—although that had been extraordinary—but a touching of hearts.For the first time he wanted to be with someone until he knew everything about her. He wanted their lovemaking to be familiar. He wanted to be inside her so much, releasing himself again and again until her body chemistry changed and she was a part of him, just like he was a part of her.
He needed her. He needed her in his life. He needed to wake up next to her, to know that she was close by. He needed to be a part of her world, offering support wherever he could. He needed to love her. And that thought scared him to death.
Todd returned to the window and stared out at the early-morning dawn. That’s what all this came down to—love. He who had never believed before, he who had no life experience to show him love existed, had fallen in love with Beth. He didn’t want to, for a number of reasons. For one thing, she’d been married for years to a wonderful man. If Darren was still alive, then she would be with him…not Todd.
He couldn’t compete with a ghost, nor did he want to. He’d reached the place he’d thought was impossible—he’d finally met someone with whom he was willing to risk it and…and she wouldn’t want him.
There was a second, more important reason that the thought of loving Beth made him break out in a sweat. She had children and responsibilities. What did he know about that? He could keep his business running without any problems, but this was about family, not commerce. He’d lived with stepparents and stepsiblings. He knew all the potentials for disaster. Was he willing to take that on? Not just Beth, but her kids and her life-style?
He wanted to wake her up and talk to her. He wanted her to tell him that it was going to be fine, except she wouldn’t. She’d been having doubts from the beginning. Maybe she’d been right to question their relationship. It was one thing to play at being in her life; it was quite another to want to make it real and permanent.
He clutched the back of the chair next to him. There it was—the bottom line he’d been avoiding for as long as he could remember. All those years of superficial relationships, reminding himself that he didn’t believe in love because he’d never seen it or experienced it himself. All the times he’d ended relationships before they got serious, telling himself he was simply accepting the inevitable and getting out before things got sticky, when the truth was he’d been afraid. He’d held back because he hadn’t believed anyone would ever care about him, and even if they did, he wasn’t sure he knew how to get it right.
He had nothing to offer her—nothing of value any way. She wouldn’t care about his money or his financial success. Her life was comfortable and she wasn’t looking for much more. If she were seriously considering letting someone share her world, who would she want? A playboy bachelor with a history of short-term relationships and a family that had made getting married and divorced a sport all could play?
He pressed his fingers against the air-conditioner-cooled glass and shook his head. Of course not. Beth would find someone like Darren. Someone with a track record. And even if she was willing to take a chance on him, he wasn’t so sure he was willing to take a chance on himself. In the deepest, darkest shadows of his soul, he wasn’t sure he was willing to commit that much to both Beth and her kids. Which made him the biggest bastard of all time.
The kindest thing would be to walk away from her and let her get on with her life. Sure, he would have trouble forgetting her. In fact, she might always be a part of him. But his leaving was best for her. He glanced over his shoulder and watched her sleeping in the morning light. She was so beautiful. Smart and funny and caring.
Pain ripped through his chest, an ache that had no physical source, but came from the loss of the one thing he hadn’t realized he’d been looking for—a place to belong.
He loved her. How could he let her go?
Knowing what kind of man he was, how could he ask her to stay?
*
Beth stirred sleepily, then opened her eyes. Light streamed into an unfamiliar bedroom, and it was a couple of minutes before she figured out where she was. About the time she recognized the oversize pieces of furniture, memories surfaced. Memories of an incredible night spent with an incredible man.
She sat up and quickly pulled the covers to her shoulders when she realized she was still naked. When they’d finally returned to his bed, she hadn’t been able to think of a way to tell him she would be more comfortable slipping on the nightgown she’d brought with her. Then he’d started touching her again and she hadn’t been able to think of anything except how he made her feel. He’d been romantic and incredible and she’d felt a kind of passion she’d never known existed before. Guilt flared inside of her, guilt for allowing another man to be that intimate with her, but she pushed it away. She refused to let her perfect evening be spoiled by a less-than-perfect morning.
She stretched and touched Todd’s side of the bed. The sheets were cold—he’d obviously been up for a while. Then she inhaled the smell of coffee and cooking bacon. Her mouth watered. Last night she’d been too nervous to eat, and now she was starved.
She’d been about to reach for the bathrobe lying at the foot of the bed when she heard the sound of footsteps approaching. She looked up and saw Todd standing in the doorway to the bedroom.
He’d pulled on jeans and nothing else. His hair was mussed, his jaw dark with stubble and he was about the most gorgeous male creature she’d ever seen in her life. Then he smiled—a slow, masculine smile that spoke of a woman conquered in the most primitive, delicious way— and her thighs went up in flames.
‘‘Good morning,’’ he said, his voice low and sexy. ‘‘How did you sleep?’’
‘‘Both hours were great.’’
‘‘I know. I’m a little tired, too, but it was worth it.’’
‘‘Oh, I’m not complaining.’’
He walked over to the bed and set the tray in the center of the mattress, then settled next to it. He’d prepared coffee, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and juice.
‘‘Impressive,’’ she said, wondering if all his women got such first-class treatment the morning after. She found herself hoping that he didn’t usually go to all this trouble. She wanted to believe last night had been special to him.
‘‘I hope you think so,’’ he told her. ‘‘I don’t cook much, but I can fake my way through breakfast.’’
Telling herself she was two kinds of fool for asking and inviting heartache, she spoke anyway. ‘‘Ah, so the women are the ones who prepare breakfast the next morning.’’
Blue-gray eyes seemed to see down into her soul. ‘‘I don’t do breakfast. I generally leave and drive home, even if it’s nearly dawn. I don’t like waking up in someone else’s bed, or having a stranger in mine.’’
Sh
e blinked, then felt her face heating with embarrassment. Her throat went dry and her hands started to shake. ‘‘You wanted me to leave,’’ she whispered. ‘‘I didn’t realize. When you said, ‘Spend the night,’ I thought you meant just that, but you were referring to sex.’’
Once again she’d made a fool out of herself. Just when she thought she’d figured out this whole dating thing, she got it wrong. Someone should keep her locked up.
‘‘Stop,’’ Todd told her as he took one of her hands and brought it to his mouth. He slowly and thoroughly kissed her fingertips. ‘‘I said I don’t like having a stranger in my bed. That was a statement about my life before. Not about you. I want you here. I’m pleased you spent the night.’’ Between the intensity of his expression and the sensual nibbling of her fingers, she had trouble concentrating, but his words did get through. All the way down to her heart, which had swelled to near bursting. His hair fell over his forehead in disarray. He hadn’t showered, he wasn’t dressed in one of his expensively tailored suits. This morning he looked like some man who had spent the night making love. Not Todd Graham, sophisticated tycoon, but Todd, the guy who had stolen her heart.
He said something and she responded automatically. He poured coffee and she took the cup, then sipped the steaming liquid. But all without actually knowing what she was doing. Most of her attention focused on that one statement.
The guy who had stolen her heart.
Was it true? Had he really taken possession of her feelings? She thought about the night before, all the tenderness and touching, the way he’d made her feel. The lovemaking had been incredible, bringing her to a physical place of pleasure she’d never experienced before. They’d held each other and stared into each other’s eyes. They’d kissed and—
She swallowed hard, biting back a groan. She understood a little about biology. She was female. As far as her gene pool was concerned, her purpose in life was to continue the species. That mecnt when she made love with a man, she bonded so that if they had children, there would be an adult pair to raise the young. In her head she could tell herself it was just sex, it didn’t really matter, nor did any number of other twentieth-century truths. Biology was way older than modern thought, and without her realizing it, her heart had decided to be old-fashioned.
Beth and the Bachelor Page 20