Charley’s explanation for why he showed up at the ranch eased some of her tension. So it was just a friendly visit to thank me. With a return of emotional composure, she raised her voice a little. “No, I didn’t mean that. I just need to know beforehand. Ben comes and goes. If you could send a note with him.”
“You sure that’s okay with you?”
“Sure thing, Charley. I just need you to understand Edra needs me to help her. She doesn’t really trust anyone else since…you understand, don’t you?” Mildred said, with the intent to pave the way for future excuses to keep the boundaries with Charley under her control, to keep a balance between showing interest in him and maintaining her life with Edra.
Charley smiled at Mildred to let her know that he understood. They rode the rest of the way without saying another word. Back at Mildred’s front door he said, “I’ll get that note out to you.”
The first thing Mildred noticed when entering the house was the mess in the living room. The note she had written had been crumpled and thrown onto the floor. A vase lay shattered beside it, and fruit from the bowl on the dining room table was scattered all over the place. When she saw the blood on the kitchen counter she panicked and ran to the bedroom where she found Edra huddled on the bed, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, with her hand wrapped in a bloodsoaked cloth. “What…”
“It was an accident.”
“That whole mess was an accident?”
“Yes.” She turned her back to Mildred.
“What the hell’s going on here?” She moved around the bed to face Edra.
“Leave me alone.”
“I’m not going anywhere till you tell me what’s going on. Stop acting like a baby and talk to me.”
“A baby! Leave me alone! Get out! That’s what you want anyway!”
“Stop this, right now.” She sat down on the bed and grabbed hold of Edra and pulled her close. “You’re scaring me. Talk to me.”
Mildred held her so tightly it broke Edra’s resistance and with that came another river of tears. “You left…”
“Go on. I’m here now.”
“You went with him.”
“He came out here. He just showed up. I went with him so that wouldn’t happen again. I went to take care of that. I wrote that in the note.”
“No, you didn’t.”
Mildred released her grip and got the note. “Look here…”
Edra could barely see the words on the page but at the bottom was the part she hadn’t read. “I didn’t see that.” She wiped a tear from her cheek and spoke in a whisper. “I told you he likes you…he came all the way out here. When I woke up and you were gone…after what happened…you left me, to be with him. Why’d you do that?”
“Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. I thought if I went with him we’d be seen together…I told him he can’t come out unannounced anymore. I shouldn’t have gone. You know I’m not good with spontaneous decisions. I told him I didn’t want to leave you.”
“So why did you?”
“I had a second thought. Kill two birds…never mind all that. It was a bad idea. I’m really sorry.”
“Mil, I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”
“I feel the same, honey. It’s not going to happen.” She looked down at Edra’s hand. “How’d that happen?”
Edra told her.
“Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.” OSCAR WILDE
12
Mildred ran through the door screaming, They’re coming! They found out! Run Edra, run! Her dress caught on the door, paralyzing her motion. There was nothing she could do now but watch them approach with lit torches.
She heard a distant voice calling to her. It was hard to make out what it was saying. She tried to focus her attention on the voice. She felt a rolling motion move her body. It was making her feel sick. Stop! I did nothing wrong! Don’t hurt me. Run Edra!
“Run, Edra!” Mildred screamed.
“Mil.” Edra cried as she continued to shake Mildred’s shoulder trying to wake her up.
Mildred tossed around on the bed, sweat pouring from her body. In a dazed state she heard Edra’s voice.
“What?” She opened her eyes and felt an instant sense of relief. “That was some dream.”
“More like a nightmare.”
“It was so real.”
Edra wiped the dripping sweat from Mildred’s forehead and pulled the sheet down from around her neck. “You’re soaking wet. You were moaning and calling out my name.”
It had been a week since Mildred’s date with Charley. He had sent a note out with Ben but she had replied that she would have to get back to him, that Edra was ill and she had her hands full. She hated lying but didn’t know what else to do to stall him to allow for things to cool off.
“Come on Mildred, you need to get out of that wet nightie. That’s the third bad dream this week.” Edra stood from where she was sitting at the side of the bed. She unbuttoned her nightgown, shook her arms from the sleeves, and let it fall to the ground. “Wash day today. Let’s get those sheets off.”
Mildred observed Edra’s silhouette, full breasts, flat abdomen, tiny waist, curved hips, long slender legs, and milky complexion. The sun shone through strands of hair that had fallen from their tie, cascading down her neck and smooth back. “You are so beautiful.”
Edra smiled. “Up!” She put out a hand to Mildred.
Mildred pulled her back down next to her. “I love you. I don’t ever want you to doubt that again.” She caressed the back of Edra’s neck and pulled her face next to hers. “I would die for you.” Their lips met and for the first time in three weeks they made love.
An hour later as they lay with their arms around each other, Edra whispered, “I needed that.”
Mildred gently stroked Edra’s abdomen. “It’s been too long.”
The moment was instantly lost when the women got out of bed and Edra noticed blood on the backside of Mildred’s nightgown. “There’s blood…” She saw more on her hand. She knew it was only a few days since Mildred had finished her last overly heavy period. “This hasn’t happened before.” She watched Mildred use the nightie she was wearing to catch the moisture from between her legs as she went to get a pad.
“Just my monthly.” Mildred disliked making her own pads out of sponge material wrapped in soft cotton but refused to order them through Gus’s catalogues. She wanted no part in using a mail order product for something that personal.
“You just had your period.”
“It’s just coming again early.”
“Early? You had it a few days ago…this isn’t right.” Edra was worried that her emotional overreacting was the problem. Her pattern, to take things personally, started when her parents died. When it would come up through the years, Max tried to tell her it wasn’t her fault, to no avail. Even after the rape, she wondered what she had done wrong to deserve it. This deep overly sensitive flaw found no solace in Mildred’s attempts to get her to see reason, things in logical fashion as they actually occurred and not how she thought they happened. As her relationship with Mildred developed and trust grew, she learned to cope through the security it brought, but she knew that if anything were to happen to Mildred it would threaten her very existence. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh Edra, honey. You’ve done nothing to apologize for…”
“Yes I did. My outburst.”
“I think that was a good thing. Got it out of your system.”
“Yeah, and put it into yours.”
“Boy, I wish I had that much power on someone else.” Mildred laughed in an attempt to lighten things up. This usually worked.
“It’s not funny this time. I mean it,” Edra pouted.
Mildred knew they’d hit an impasse and when that happened nothing short of distraction worked, which usually broke the cycle. “Oh come on, honey. We both know that my monthly comes early at times. You’re making way too much of this. Let me get cleaned up. How about making some c
offee?”
Edra threw on a robe and went to the kitchen to prepare coffee and breakfast while Mildred cleaned up.
“That smells good.” Mildred picked up the cup.
The guilt Edra felt had receded. “I added a little cinnamon.”
Mildred, relieved the mood had passed, smiled. “Hey, that’s a great idea.”
“So, when are you going to see Charley again?”
Mildred hesitated, took a sip of coffee, and looked at Edra doubtfully. “You sure?”
“As sure as I’m gonna be.”
“Okay then, I’ll send a note with Ben and have him come around tomorrow.” Mildred hesitated. “Or is that too soon?”
“That’s fine.”
Mildred took another sip of coffee. “I think it’s smart that we don’t keep putting him off. Oh!” Mildred grabbed her stomach.
It startled Edra. “What…”
Mildred abruptly pushed her chair back from the table and vomited on the floor.
“Mildred!” Edra grabbed a wet cloth and handed it to Mildred. “Here.”
While she wiped her face, Mildred noticed brown particles in the slimy green bile. She quickly bent to clean the floor before Edra noticed but was not quick enough. She remembered the last time they saw something similar. Three days before Sadie’s death from intestinal cancer, she had vomited up copious amounts of what looked like coffee grounds. Mildred knew this was blood that came from the stomach. The Bell family with its influential connections spared Sadie no procedure to determine that she had advanced abdominal cancer. The hospital in Carson City had a pathologist trained by Rudolf Virchow who recognized the cells once they were removed by a surgeon and placed on a slide. Sadie was given six months to live after her diagnosis was made. She lasted eight, which was something that neither she nor her family appreciated, since the last three months of her life were spent in excruciating pain and endless bouts of vomiting.
“Mildred, I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. It’s just my monthly curse come around again too soon.”
“But the specks of blood?”
“Oh that…had a little nose bleed last night. All the dry weather…probably swallowed some blood.” She didn’t mention it did concern her that it could be something worse. Nor did she mention all the pressure she’d felt lately. It was better to suppress the worry than risk upsetting Edra further, despite the toll it was taking on her.
“The vomiting?”
“You know that happens with me sometimes.”
Edra knew that was true. She had seen Mildred’s bloody nose the night before and didn’t want to push this any further. “You’d tell me if something was wrong?”
“Yes.”
Since Charley started feeling better he went out to the Whitmore’s place to spend more time with Mabel and little Frankie. He loved throwing the ball for Cranky and watching him tumble over himself trying to fetch it. “Good boy. Bring the ball back!” he yelled as the dog headed in the opposite direction. He laughed at the vision of Mabel trying to coax the ball away from Cranky. He’d throw that ball till they were all exhausted, Cranky panting and circling to find the right spot to rest, Mabel down in her bed next to the baby’s crib, and he’d go home to his own and fall into a deep peaceful sleep, to return the next day and they’d go at it again. He even insisted that Frank and Helene take time off from the kids, offering to watch them.
On this particular day they took him up on the offer and went to town, Frank to catch up on chores at the blacksmith, while Helene met up with Sarah and Josie for afternoon tea.
“He’s there today. Came around yesterday. I couldn’t believe my ears when he said he wanted to babysit the kids.” Helene smiled.
Sarah’s ears perked up.
“And so where’s Mildred?” Josie entered in with sarcasm. “Told you.”
Helene became defensive. “Told us what?”
“He’s no sooner interested in her than I am,” she laughed. “Perish the thought he’d have anything to do with that witch.”
“But, Charley seems happy. He was even singing yesterday.” Helene did not want to hear anything that would put a damper on her plans to get Charley and Mildred together and get closer to some of her money.
“What’s he so happy about? Don’t you think it’s fishy? One minute in love, then devastated, and before we snap our fingers he’s hanging with the ugliest curse in Red River Pass? Come on now. He’s got something on his mind. No way he’s attracted to that pig.”
That annoyed Sarah. “Maybe not!”
Josie replied with indignation. “When am I ever wrong?”
Sarah and Helene bit their tongues.
“When have you known me to be mistaken? I know what I see. I’m not stupid.”
“Hey, come on,” said Helene nervously.
Sarah put in her two cents. “Yeah, no need to get in a huff over this. What’re you getting all worked up over anyway?”
“Worked up? I’m not worked up! Just cause I call it like it is. She doesn’t deserve her papa’s money. They got no class to their name to claim all that money…”
“But her mamma…”
“Her mamma didn’t bring a lick of money into that relationship. So what if she was a Bell. She married beneath her. Lost any class she had when she took up with Max Dunlap. They don’t deserve spit! I’m more deserving than them.” Josie stopped herself from saying more. None of you would understand anyway. What could you possibly know about having a name, coming from good stock? Painful memories weren’t worth sharing where they’d never be understood.
Helene was bewildered. “Whatever are you talking about?”
The edge left Josie’s voice. “Never mind.”
“Well, I don’t care about the reason. I’m out enjoying myself and have me a babysitter. I see nothing bad in any of that. Come on, Josie, let’s just enjoy our tea.” Helene reached for a cookie.
Sarah commented, “Could there be something with him and Mildred?”
Quick as a knee jerk, Josie’s attitude resurfaced. “That unsociable hag. She’s too plain ugly. Look how she dresses. Why, with all her money you’d think she’d try to at least look better. Wearing all those plain Sears and Roebuck things. She could afford better. She’s a pitiful shame of an excuse for a woman. She does nothing with her hair either.” Josie compared her attire with Mildred’s, how she prided herself in dressing elegantly in heavy satin with decorated neck, hem, and gored seams on her skirts. She dressed well at the expense of her family going without. She enjoyed feeling superior to Mildred in fashion. “She’s not even wearing the latest puffed sleeves. I bet she doesn’t even wear a corset. Lets all her flab just hang.” She laughed about the lack in Mildred’s taste: no braids, puffs, frills, gathers, tucks, pleats, or fancy collars. “She can afford better and what does she do? Buys cotton!” She waved a hand over the material of her dress to make her point, then brushed a few curls back into a wave that met a chignon at the back of her neck.
“Who cares? Charley is perking up!” Helene finished chewing on the cookie. “And I’m pleased as Punch.”
“Sure, Helene. Why should you care if there’s something evil going on?” Josie looked at Sarah. “And you, I suppose you agree with Helene.”
“Me?” Sarah sounded intimidated. “No, Josie. I see your point.”
Josie said, “How come if he likes Mildred so much he’s spending time with your kids? Something’s wrong with that picture. Charley is up to no good with that fat hog.”
Helene cowered. “I don’t think so.”
“Josie does have a point, Helene. How come he is spending more time at your place and not with Mildred?”
Helene nervously reached for another vanilla cookie and took a bite. “That’s delicious. You’ll have to give me the recipe.”
“Helene!” Josie exclaimed, demanding an answer.
Helene desperately wanted to get Josie off her back. The force with her words was all too painfully familiar. If her past
taught her anything it taught her it was easier to capitulate then face the consequences of an escalation. The more she resisted, the greater the force used by her father, and now she was feeling a similar gut-wrenching as Josie’s words poured over her. “Well,” Helene paused. “He did tell me…”
Sarah interrupted, “What?”
Josie slashed in. “Let her finish!”
Helene continued, “Mildred has that situation with Edra. You know. And neither one of them has friends going out there. Charley has to take it easy till he hears from Mildred so Edra doesn’t get upset.”
Josie and Sarah watched Helene eat one more cookie and sip her tea. “Anything else?” asked Josie.
“He did say that Ben told him they’re doing some big construction project on the barn.”
Josie asked, “What the heck does that have to do with Mildred and Charley?”
“Mildred oversees projects,” Helene replied and grabbed for the last cookie.
Josie became outraged. “Why does she have to have her nose in every little thing, with all her money? Why doesn’t she let others just do their jobs? I can’t stomach that woman!”
“That Edra is all messed up. I’d want to keep busy with other things too,” Sarah agreed.
“All that money! She could get someone out there to help Edra. Lots of good folk could use some work. Mildred is a selfish wicked woman.”
Helene did not say another word.
When Charley returned home that night, he found the note that Ben had left attached to his front door.
The next day, Charley took his buggy out to Mildred’s place. He arrived a little early and was greeted by Edra. “Have a seat, Charley.” She pointed to the bench on the front porch. “I’ll go tell Mildred you’re here.”
Mildred was in the bedroom still dressing. She had put on a plain black cotton dress with a full skirt that went from mid-neck to her ankles. She wore extra petticoats in case the pads did not absorb the bleeding. Cramping in her belly was causing nausea and she hoped she could keep her breakfast down. As she stood at the mirror to arrange her hair, she noticed that she looked pale. A little rouge on her cheeks took care of that. When she was ready, she went to the porch and greeted Charley. “Glad you could come.”
The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap Page 8