“Truth be told? It was written a hundred years after Jesus died. Can’t quite comment on its accuracy,” he smiled. “I’ll tell you this much, there’s a lot of wisdom in it if you understand the parables and what they are attempting to teach. But ultimately, I don’t find comfort in referring to anything written. I like to rest in my own experience. What I find is true, or rather real, for me.
“But isn’t the point of sex to have children?”
Gus became frustrated that he wasn’t getting through. “Come on, Charley, you think we can control who we’re attracted to?”
“Don’t need to act on it.”
“And live a life without intimacy? Never to know what it is to make love? Look at all the pain come to Wilde. Do you think he chose that? Don’t you think he would have changed if he could have?”
Charley was feeling dizzy. “Think I’ve had enough.” He put the cap on the bottle and pushed it back to Gus. “Thanks for this. I’ll tell ya Gus, right now I don’t know what I feel is right or wrong. Am pretty confused. I see someone loving someone and remember how it was with me and Emma. Can never find anything wrong with that. Then I get other ideas that tell me it’s not right.”
“Boy, I understand that. Just remember, ideas can kill.”
“Whhhhhaaaat?”
“You get an idea in your head about something being wrong, get into a fight over it to defend your point, on and on and on and we end up killing someone because of an idea. Throw someone in prison because of another idea. Look at it!”
Charley had stopped by Gus’s hoping to sort things out, but their conversation was only adding to his confusion. “It’s getting late, Gus. I don’t want to be taking up any more of your time.”
Gus got up and went over to his nightstand, picked up a piece of paper, and handed it to Charley. “I was reading Aristotle today. Wrote down something I wanted to share with you.”
Charley took the folded piece of paper and put it in his shirt pocket.
“Thanks for letting me come talk. And the drinks. Think I’m more mixed up now than when I come.”
“Not surprising, Charley. Give it time.”
Charley, up through most of the night, mulled over ideas, impressions, opinions, beliefs he had held all his life, now all a jumble. Nothing made sense. The thoughts continued until clouds rolled out of the sky and the sun ushered in morning, filling his room with light. He realized that he could think himself to death and never find an answer to anything and saw with clarity that the only certainty was uncertainty, that when he questioned something it changed. In a paradoxical way he saw that the only thing that was stable in time was change.
The next day, exhausted and dispassionate, he watched more thoughts float through without anchor, like migrating birds. When no more came, he watched his attention shift from the cumulus fluffs of condensed water in the sky, to drops of dew on pieces of grass, to ants carrying twigs twice their body size. He became aware of something that he had never noticed before: life without thinking, no thoughts or beliefs dictating his actions. He saw life in motion and all that was left of him was involved in this movement. He continued to look around until he remembered the note that Gus had given him and pulled it out of his shirt pocket. It read: “Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. Aristotle 384–322 B.C.” He no longer felt confused or without direction.
“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” OSCAR WILDE
24
Josie and her five friends in cahoots met for tea at Barney’s Cafe to formulate a new Mildred plan.
“Did you get a look at her?” asked Madeline.
“No,” replied Josie.
“So, if you do another ‘make a pie and don’t get to see her,’ what’s the point?”
Josie replied with a cocky confidence. “We’ll just make sure we get in to see her this time.”
Barney was working the cafe alone with the cook. He watched the group of women chat away and reflected back to a conversation with his wife, Pat:
“Josie made me look like a fool.”
“You were ripe to look like a fool!”
Pat threw a dishrag at him. “Why would you say something like that?”
“You sit around yipping with your lady friends. Don’t know if there’s a lick of truth to any of your chattering, yet you’re ready to pass along a bunch of junk.”
“I didn’t make it up, Barney. What’re you getting all over me for?”
“Might as well have. You listen to Josie’s blabbing. That woman makes a life out of getting into others’ hair. Better watch out, woman, or it’ll be you next.”
“She’s my friend.”
“That’s some friend you got there, Pat. You’d do better to keep to yourself and mind your manners.”
Barney watched the group banging their lips together, the volume rising, and was glad Pat was not there.
“Mildred won’t stay in her room forever,” said Sarah.
“When’s Frank going back to Walker Junction?” Josie looked at Helene.
Helene replied, “Two days, but I don’t want to do that again.”
Josie reproved her. “We’re not going without you. That’d ruin everything.”
Annalee joined in. “You’re the only one of us that has any business going over there.”
Helene felt cornered. “Frank does the…”
Josie hammered onto her. “You said you go there sometimes. You told Edra…You’re the one that started all this and now you’re backing down!” Her voice grew louder. “You came around in the first place with all the Charley talk. How he’s so happy now, babysitting for you, and you were happy about him and Mildred. You were quick to involve yourself when you thought you could win favor with Mildred to get at some of her money.”
Helene sank lower in her chair.
Sarah tried to soften the blows. “Helene, if you make the pie it’ll be hot when we arrive. Who can refuse a freshly baked pie?”
“I just can’t.” shuddered Helene.
Josie struggled to control her anger. “Nonsense. We need a warm pie to get us in the door. You’re the only one who lives close enough. You want us to go there without you and make it look like you don’t care about Mildred? Think, woman! We can’t do it without you. You make one of your pies so it’s warm. Leave the rest up to me.”
Helene, too intimidated to speak, nodded agreement. It was the same domination she felt from her father, how he bullied, threatened, browbeat, and finally had his way with her. Through the years, she learned that the more she resisted the worse it became, so she catered to him, propitiated, until she was old enough to entice another man to get what she wanted, which was to leave her home. It became her way, when threads of the torture arose in her triggered by some similar aspect, that she cowered and condescended. Josie’s attitude and force-fulness had that effect on her.
“That’ll work!” Sarah said loudly.
Josie snapped, “Quiet down.”
Madeline, who had sat quietly through their conversation, whispered, “This is exciting. I can’t wait to get out there to find out what’s going on with Mildred.”
“Okay, well then. Two days.” Josie concluded the conversation then flagged down Barney who had been standing by the counter in earshot of their conversation. They paid him and left.
Later that afternoon when Pat arrived at the cafe, he said to her, “Your friends are at it again. They just don’t let up. Good thing you weren’t here. Hey, where’d that come from?” He looked at the floor where Pat was heading. “Watch where you’re…Pat!”
She skidded on a wet spot, landing backside down, with the bag of salt she was holding flying all over the floor.
“Pat! That’s the last of the salt!”
“I’ll go get more,” she cowered.
Barney jumped in. “I’ll do it! After all that squawking, I need some fresh air. You clean that mess up.” He helped her up and made his way out. Across the street, he ran int
o Sheriff Roper. “Hey Roper, things quiet for you?”
“Yeah. That’s how I like it. You?”
“The hens were at it again. I needed a breather.”
Roper laughed.
“Be seeing ya.” Barney continued on down the street to Gus’s and was glad that other than one other male customer, the store was empty. “Hey, Gus.”
“Barney.”
Barney made his way to the noticeboard to see if there were any new telegrams that had come in. There was nothing since the last one posted about Olney and President Cleveland. Disappointed, he said to Gus, “Nothing new on the board there? I’ll be needing a bag of salt. The big one.”
“No. No telegrams today. How’s business, Barney?” Gus asked as he procured the bag of salt.
“Oh, you know. The chatterboxes are keeping me in clothes,” he laughed.
“Come again?”
“The girls are banging their mouths. Man, they just don’t give it a rest.”
“What now?”
“Josie was on a tirade about bringing Mildred a pie. Pushing hard on Helene to go along with it.” He continued to express his repugnance for what happened. “They’re all in this huddle over a goddamn fresh pie that Helene has to bake. Thought she was going to pass out. They need to find something else to do with their lives. But enough of that. Came over here to get away from that nonsense.”
Gus shook his head to indicate he understood. “Some things never change.” He gave Barney a pat on the back. “I’ll put this on your tab.”
Gus knew that no good was afoot. Later that day when he closed shop, he walked over to Charley’s to express his concerns so he could forewarn Mildred.
It was dark out when Charley arrived at Mildred’s. When she saw him at the door it gave her a bad feeling. “I asked you to please let us know before you popped in on us. This is getting to be too much.”
“I appreciate that, Mildred. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.”
The look on his face made her very uneasy. “Charley, it’s late.”
Edra approached behind Mildred, saw Charley and got scared. “What’s going on?”
Mildred said to Charley, “Wait there a minute.” She moved Edra back from the door and whispered, “It’ll be okay. I’ll handle this.”
“No. Tell him to come in. I want to hear what’s going on.”
Mildred let him in and they all sat in the living room. “Go on, Charley.”
“I heard something disturbing today.”
Mildred saw Edra flinch. “If you’ve come here to make trouble then I think you better leave before you let any unkind words pass between us.”
Edra moaned, “I shouldn’t have said…”
“You think I’m here about the other day?”
Edra nodded.
“Oh no, not at all. Since that came up I wanted to tell you both, I’ve been thinking…don’t quite know how to say this. I had a talk with Gus…”
“You said something to Gus?” Edra gasped.
Mildred shot her a look that said, Watch what you say.
“No. He just helps me get clarity on my thinking. I really want you both to know I’m your friend. No question about it. I hope you…”
Mildred was perturbed with the idle chatter. “Get to the point please.”
“Okay, but it’s important you understand where I’m coming from.”
Mildred’s patience was threadbare. “What did you hear that you came to tell me?”
“I think Josie is planning on something to embarrass you.” He directed that comment to Mildred. “Her friends are in on it, including Helene.”
“In on what?” asked Mildred, still annoyed that he wouldn’t just get to the point.
He relayed what Gus had told him with the emphasis on Josie corralling the women into going along with her. “Barney was pretty aggravated by the carrying on.”
Edra continued, “This is why you came out here?”
“Yes.”
“What did you hope to achieve by coming here, Charley?” asked Mildred.
“If you know what’s happening you can prepare yourself. They’re planning on coming over in a couple days.”
“They already came by and nothing happened. We’ll just ignore them,” said Mildred.
“Josie won’t stop till she sees you. So I thought I could be here.”
Edra asked “Why?”
Charley’s face turned red. “Let them see us together. You know…”
At that moment both Mildred and Edra understood what Charley was offering.
Mildred spoke softly and with caution. “You’re assuming there’ll be trouble here without you being present. I’ve handled my life up till now by myself. Think I can handle a flock of busybodies coming around.”
Charley only knew one way to be and that was honest. He also knew that Gus wouldn’t have come over to his place without strong concern. To Charley’s gut this was trouble brewing and he felt responsible for setting it in motion because of his friendship with Mildred. He knew Mildred was being protective and not of any mindset to trust anything coming from him, and so he spoke from everything in him that said he had to. “I have a really bad feeling about what I heard. I can’t just walk away from you. I’ve caused you so much grief by wanting to be friends…”
Mildred saw where this was heading. “How do we know we can trust you? How do I know you aren’t involved in some way to make me look foolish?”
“I don’t expect you to trust me. Told Edra the other day that takes time. But I can say this…” His eyes filled with tears. “I swear on the grave of my dead wife, I don’t intend to bring either of you any harm. I’m here offering my friendship. You decide if you want to make a leap of faith and let me help you.”
Mildred had to admit to herself the consistency of his sincerity that had shown in his eyes and had sat well in her gut. “So if we do go along with what you’re proposing…”
“No! I don’t trust him.”
“I don’t blame you, Edra. Maybe in time you will,” said Charley.
Mildred looked over at Edra. “Let’s just hear what he proposes.”
“I’ll just come around daily and plan on being here whenever they arrive. Let them think whatever they want about us. No harm to me. We can all just ride it out together.”
“I don’t know,” Edra replied.
Mildred reached over to put a hand on Edra’s. “That sounds reasonable to me.”
“You want to go along with what Charley is suggesting?”
“Yes.”
When he left, Edra asked Mildred, “Why’d you go along with him? It just solidifies what he thinks of us. It’s exactly what we wanted to keep from others.”
“Edra. What choice to do we have? We haven’t told him anything. If he really does suspect what he alludes to, and he’s really here to be a friend, under the circumstance what else could I have done?” Mildred knew she had to ride it out and if things did get out of hand they would have to leave. They were at a juncture: either choice could lead to heartbreak and devastation. All she had left was hope that Charley was a decent man. It killed her that she couldn’t be sure.
“But…”
“Do you really think he’s going to cause us trouble?”
“Oh God, I hope not.”
There was more to Charley’s idea than he let on to them. At five in the morning he awoke, got out of bed, dressed, and then quietly rigged up his horse and buggy. He hesitated a moment, trying to remember what else he needed to bring. Rope. Where’d I leave that rope? He arrived in Walker Junction at Josh Langford’s an hour later and was in luck.
Edra had trouble sleeping so she got up early and milled around the kitchen making coffee while she found places to clean that hadn’t gathered any new dust. She did not fully understand why she felt comforted when Charley pulled up at a little after light later that morning. The minute she saw the load he’d brought, she understood why he had come.
He smiled. “I figure we
can put this in the den. Think I remember there’s a place in the back behind the desk?”
She listened. She knew then he must have seen the rooms the day she found him at the bedroom door.
“Don’t want anyone rummaging around your place, getting wrong impressions. Been too much of that already.”
“You did this for us?” Edra wasn’t sure how to respond but was still not certain about him. “That couch is a little uncomfortable…”
“Sure it is, Edra.”
Both knew what was left unsaid and that it was in the unspoken that a bond began to form between them. “Let me give you a hand.” She helped him unload the mattress and frame. When the den was all set up, it looked like a lived-in second bedroom, and to Edra’s surprise, was a great relief.
Just as they finished, the skies opened and a burst came from an early fall thunderhead, a scream that spoke for both of them. Then came the rains, a ferocious downpour that lasted no more than a few minutes. When it was all over, the air filled with freshness. Edra felt static electricity move through her and noticed it must have done the same with Charley, for the hair at the back of his head stood upright, which made her laugh.
“What?”
“Your hair,” she continued laughing.
He joined her. “You too.”
She turned to look at her reflection on the gun cabinet and saw she looked like a scared cat.
Mildred slept through the commotion, awakening to laughter. “No! Two eggs!” She was surprised to find them in the kitchen.
“Mildred!” Edra ran to her. “Come with me.” Before Mildred could say a word or respond, she grabbed her hand and brought her to the den. The sun coming through the window cast a glimmer of light on the tears of relief streaming down Edra’s cheeks.
“I told you he knows.”
“Did he say anything?”
“No, and neither did I.” She squeezed hold of Mildred’s hand. “I told him the couch was not comfortable.”
“So he’d think that’s where you sleep…you’re really okay with this?” One look at Edra, the light in her eyes, and she knew the question was rhetorical.
The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap Page 17