by Being
“I am so happy you’re here, sweetheart.” Sasha felt the air leave her as her mother squeezed her to the point of pain.
“Mom,” she wheezed out. “I can’t breathe.” Her mother released her, but kept her hands on her upper arms.
“I’m sorry, Sasha. I just feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“Mom, it’s only been six months.” Rian’s deep voice came from the front door, and Sasha felt her smile widen. She bounded toward him, and he embraced her in his big muscular arms. “Dang, girl, you’ve put on some weight.” She smacked his arm lightly, even though she knew he was teasing. She had put on some weight, was even pushing a size sixteen, but who the hell was counting? Studying and staying up late had caused her to snack at night, and the majority of those snacks had been of the fattening kind.
“Shut up, you ass.”
He grinned down at her. “You know I’m just kidding. You look good. I didn’t want to say anything before, but you looked like a twig the past few times I saw you. You look healthy now.”
She rolled her eyes.
“No, I’m serious.”
“Well, thanks, I guess.” She looked up at him, surprised that he had gotten so tan and muscular. “Looks like you’ve put some weight on, too.” He flexed his arms in the way men do when trying to be macho, and she rolled her eyes again. “What’s going on with this?” She flicked her finger along the light beard he was sporting.
“You like that?” He ran his hand over the dark hair and grinned.
“You’re such a tool.”
“Whatever. The girls dig it.” He nudged her shoulder when she moved passed him, and Sasha couldn’t help but smile. Rian helped their mom get her bags out of the car, despite her telling them not to worry about it. The three hour drive had sucked every ounce of energy from her, and all she wanted to do was sit on the old brown couch in the living room and visit with her parents. Her dad came in from the backyard wearing his “Kiss the Cook” apron and Ray-Ban sunglasses.
“Princess.” He took his glasses off, and she ran up to him. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Sasha inhaled the scent of him and loved that he still smelled like Old Spice after all these years. She was so glad to be home and surrounded by her family.
After eating an overly large meal and visiting until she couldn’t keep her eyes open, she said good night to her parents.
“Walk me to the door?” Rian wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. They stopped at the front door, and Rian turned her so she faced him. “I know it’s only been six months since I saw you, but I really am glad you’re back. It’s felt like too damn long, especially since you rarely returned my phone calls.” He pulled his brows over his eyes, trying to seem angry, but she knew he really wasn’t.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I was so busy wrapping things up.”
He pulled her close for a hug. “Having you back at Hayven and close to the family makes me feel better.” Rian usually didn’t talk so emotionally. It was nice to hear. He pulled back and opened the door before she could really respond. Before he shut the door behind him he said, “Listen, come out with me tomorrow. We will hit up Shake’s, and I’ll buy you a burger and cherry limeade.”
“Okay, sounds good.” She smiled once more before shutting the door. It really did feel good to be back home.
****
Shake’s was packed when Sasha and Rian stepped inside the next night. Back in the day it used to be a family restaurant, but over the years they had slowly changed it until it was now a sports bar where most of the younger generation hung out. The music was annoyingly loud, and scantily clad girls ground their crotches against the men on the center of the dance floor. Right off the bat she could see many of the guys who filled the bar were part of the construction crew. They seemed to be an entirely different breed of men from the average denizens of Hayven Hill. Their bulging muscles, tanned flesh, and hardened expressions spoke of hard labor. She followed Rian as he wove through the people. Many of them stopped to talk with her brother or slap him on the back. He found an empty table in the corner, and they sat.
The waitress, a girl Sasha thought she had gone to high school with, sashayed over to their table and smirked at Rian. She cocked her hip out and puckered her lips, and Sasha couldn’t help but feel embarrassed for her. The way she looked at her brother, though, told Sasha enough to know they were very well acquainted.
Bleh.
“Hey, Rian.” The waitress, Michelle according to her nametag, dragged her tongue over her bottom lip. Her breasts were all but in Rian’s face, and by the look her brother gave Michelle, he liked it a little too much.
“I’m going to the bathroom.”
Rian nodded, but his gaze was otherwise too preoccupied to spare her a passing glance.
Once inside the bathroom she leaned on the counter and looked at herself in the mirror. She had cut her hair last year to a stylish bob, and found the short length far more accommodating to her hectic schedule. The dark strands were a hell of a lot more manageable now. Her blue eyes were dark, and the exact same shade as Rian’s and their father’s. She adjusted her t-shirt and smoothed her hand over her jeans. Maybe she should have dressed up a little bit? What was the point, though? Like Rian gave a shit what she wore, and it wasn’t like she was trying to impress anyone. That thought was immediately followed by the image of Tanner and Jonas. It had been two years since she had seen them, and the last time had been awkward enough. Two years ago, they had come over for Thanksgiving for a quick hello, and when she had seen them she’d hid like a coward. The fact she knew Tanner had told his twin what they had done was just too humiliating. So really, she had seen them since leaving for college, but they hadn’t seen her. Rian had tried to ask what her problem was and why she was avoiding the twins on several occasions, but there was no way she would tell him why she felt the need to stay away. Even after all these years her brother was liable to break something—like Tanner Ashbury. Why was she avoiding Jonas, though? She supposed it was just the way it worked out since the brothers were close and always hung out together. In any event, she had no doubt Tanner had told Jonas what had happened between them, and every time she thought about them having that conversation humiliation filled her.
Four years of successful avoidance didn’t stop her from missing them something fierce though. But now she was back in Hayven Hill, and she couldn’t avoid them. She’d have to put her big girl panties on and face the music. The incident in question might have happened years ago, but it still felt so fresh in her mind.
She looked at herself one last time the mirror and headed back out. Sasha grabbed her cell and looked down at the screen. The air left her when she slammed right into a wall, or at least it felt like a wall given how hard and wide it was. She stumbled back and reached out to steady herself on instinct. The firm, muscular forearm she currently gripped sent a flash of electricity through her. Slowly dragging her eyes up the individual buttons of the white button-up, and over the wide shoulders, she stared into hazel eyes that were far too familiar for her comfort. There was shock in Jonas’s gaze as he stared down at her. The feel of his hand on her waist startled her, not because he had obviously gripped her to make sure she didn’t fall, but because that simple touch had butterflies going crazy in her belly.
“Sasha Marsh. Holy fucking shit.” His clear shock most likely matched hers, but then his expression morphed into happiness. Jonas grinned broadly and pulled her into his chest. He had gotten bigger since the last time she had seen him, but then again that had been years ago. He was a man now, and a very nice looking one at that. Time had certainly been good to him. Sasha found herself closing her eyes and inhaling the scent that reminded her of all the times they had run to the lake together, played videogames, and stayed up late watching scary movies. They were her happy memories, ones that had been buried deep when she withdrew from them because she hadn’t known how to react. He pulled her away but kept his hands still on her hips. When she
looked up at him those lovely memories vanished as that vile little thought surfaced, the one of Jonas knowing what she did with Tanner. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the rejection from a man she loved hadn’t been so harsh. She stepped away and suddenly felt extremely awkward.
“How have you been? School’s done, right?”
Clearing her throat that suddenly felt like cotton was lodged in it, Sasha could only nod. “Yeah.” She licked her lips and looked over at Rian, but he was still otherwise occupied with Michelle. “I, uh.”
God, this was a hell of a lot more uncomfortable than she figured, but then again what did she expect after not seeing him for so long? Come on, Sasha, this is Jonas. You have been friends with him your whole life. Besides you’re adults now, and you have no one to blame but yourself for this wall between the two of you.
Straightening her shoulders she smiled up at him and said, “Yeah, finally finished after four years, but I can say I earned my BA.”
“That is fantastic, Sasha.” He took a step toward her, and her nerves had her wringing her hands together. “Rian told me you were moving back, but never said a date.” He ran his hand over his hair, a gesture that reminded her so much of Tanner. It was at this moment she wished she hadn’t detached from everyone and everything she had loved just because she was scared of things changing between them. That happened regardless, and it sucked.
“Yeah, I just got in yesterday.”
“He also told me you are taking over the Social Worker position over at county?”
What else had Rian told him?
“Yeah, sad circumstances and all, but I’m lucky they are giving me the position fresh out of college.”
He nodded and looked over his shoulder.“I stopped in for a beer and ran into Rian. He didn’t mention you were here together, but then again he has been eye-fucking Michelle since he walked in I’m sure.”
And just like that it felt like old times. As strange as it was, especially since she had been worry about the weirdness between them, Sasha felt herself relaxing. It was easy to just be herself with him, and put all her stupid fears aside, especially since it had been so long ago and she should have moved on.
Sasha chuckled because Jonas was so right, and she loved that he still spoke his mind. “Yeah, when she came over with her tits almost hanging out I decided it was time for a bathroom break.”
Jonas laughed and grabbed her hand. For a moment he didn’t do anything but stare down at her, and sparks of electricity coursed through her veins at the innocent gesture of him holding her hand. “Join me for a beer? Maybe we can catch up?”
Her heart slammed in her chest fast and hard, and beads of sweat settled along the length of her spine. Sasha smiled, knowing that they were adults, and she needed to be in his life, because in all honesty she had been so damn lonely. This was Jonas Ashbury, one of her best friends who just happened to be the man she had been in love with years ago. But had her love really gone away? The kindling in her belly told her maybe her feelings for Jonas hadn’t dissipated, especially when she had this kind of physical reaction to him from a simple touching of hands.
“Okay, I’d like that.” He gave her a little squeeze and led her over to Rian. Her brother looked up, did a double-take when he saw them holding hands, grinned, and stood. Michelle huffed in annoyance at the fact she had been dismissed so quickly.
“Damn, I haven’t seen the two of you together in too fucking long.”
Sasha felt her cheeks heat because although Rian’s comment meant something innocent, she was thinking completely inappropriate thoughts.
“Dude, shouldn’t you be building the McCain house?” Rian went on. He and Jonas embraced quickly, and they all took their seats.
“You’re a damn slave-driver, man,” Jonas said, and the guys started laughing. Sasha looked between them in confusion. Michelle came back with their beers. “I’ll take whatever you have on draft, thanks,” Jonas ordered and looked at her. She ordered a bottle of beer, and silence fell over the table.
“Am I missing something?” she asked.
They both looked at her. “Well, I like the flavor of a draft beer as opposed to a bottle or can.” Jonas smirked from his clear sarcasm, and she narrowed her eyes.
“I mean, what’s with calling Rian a slave-driver. It almost sounds like he’s your boss.” Neither said anything, and it clicked into place. “Rian’s your boss?” She was confused as hell.
“If you ever asked about the shit that was going on back home I would have told you I hired Jonas as my foreman.” She knew she got redder at Rian’s words, because he was right. She had avoided any and all subject matter when it came to Hayven Hill because she connected home with the Ashbury twins.
“So, Master’s degree, yeah?” Thank God for Jonas and his unparalleled ability to change the subject.
Sasha took a drink of her beer and set the bottle back on the table. “Yeah. It took a lot of work, but I’m glad it’s behind me and I can actually start helping people.”
Jonas nodded, and Rian’s gaze was back on Michelle, who was currently bent over the bar. Her skirt was ridiculously short, so tiny that Sasha would see the crease where the cheeks of her ass met her thighs.
“Foreman, huh?”
Jonas leaned back in the chair and threw his arm over the back of it. God, she had forgotten how attractive he was, well, not really, but he was older now, matured and rough around the edges. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, and the tanned, smooth flesh of his chest was visible. His muscular biceps strained against his shirt, and the arousal she thought had been buried deep inside of her rose to the surface.
“Yeah. Graduated with a degree in business, so when this asshole asked me to work part-time as his foreman and the rest of the time keeping his books, I decided to grace him with my expertise.”
Rian flipped him off, but it was all in good humor. It really was like old times with the two of them messing around with each other. The only thing missing was Tanner. The urge to ask about Tanner was poised at the tip of her tongue.
Instead, she said, “That is really great.” She looked down at her bottle and started pulling at the label. It came off easily enough due to the condensation, but now she had a little pile of moist paper in front of her. A glance up showed Rian still otherwise occupied staring at Michelle’s ass, but Jonas’s sole focus was on her. It wasn’t just any look. It was an expression she remembered Tanner giving her all those years ago as he pressed her against the side of his house. It was heated and filled with longing. Sasha shifted in her seat, wondering if it was just her imagination and the insane arousal she had for Jonas that was making her see things. The longer she stared at him, the more she realized it wasn’t just her imagination.
Jonas lifted his eyes to something behind her, and the hair on the back of her neck prickled with awareness. She knew, without even looking, who approached. Because she couldn’t seem to help herself, or maybe she was just a masochist, Sasha looked over her shoulder. A busty blonde wearing a tight dress was all but wrapped around Tanner. His head was bent, and he whispered something in her ear that made her giggle loudly. Tanner was bigger than she remembered, more muscular, just like his twin. The t-shirt he wore molded to his hard body, and the loose fitting jeans hung low on his hips. He looked good and was coming right their way. She turned forward again and found her beer bottle very interesting.
“Yo, Jonas and Ria—” Tanner’s words cut off, and she felt him step beside her.
Lifting her head so she was looking right at him, she found Tanner staring down at her. His expression wasn’t one she could read, but shock had definitely passed across his face.
“Sasha.” The way he said her name was deep, low, and had her toes curling.
“Baby?” The blonde whined, and Tanner tore his eyes from Sasha and looked at the girl. “I’m thirsty.” She did a little jig against him. The movement caused her huge, obviously fake breasts to shake obscenely.
“Yeah, all right
.” Tanner said it almost absently. “You guys good?” Sasha didn’t miss how he purposefully avoided her, but that was okay because the moment was uncomfortable as hell. Tanner and the woman headed to the bar.
“That Tanner’s flavor of the week?” Rian asked Jonas, and Sasha looked between them, finding herself on the edge of her seat waiting for the answer. She had heard the stories Rian told his buddies when he thought she wasn’t listening. She knew Tanner slept around. In fact, the three guys had been whorish to a point all through high school. It bothered her back then, and of course after she had given herself to Tanner it had cut a lot deeper inside of her.
“Nah, he actually has been with Brianna for like a month. I think things are getting serious,” Jonas said while keeping his eyes on her.
She snorted, which was a bizarre reaction for her to have since she found this whole situation anything but amusing. Maybe it was a defense mechanism? Rian and Tanner both raised their eyebrows at her. Fortunately, they didn’t question her reaction and continued talking.
“Well, compared to the random one-night stands he is used to having, I’d say a month is like a freaking lifetime.” Jonas lifted his glass to his mouth and took a long drink. The way his forearms flexed with unrestrained strength was a visual reminder of his masculinity. She forced herself not to look behind her at Tanner and all his male prowess. The two of them together, in the same room, was ruining her panties.
“There room for two more here?” Tanner said as he stood by the table.
“Of course, man.” Rian stood and grabbed two more chairs. Sasha moved so she was positioned closer to Jonas. Tanner took the chair closest to her. Sweat popped out along her neck at being sandwiched between the twins. The scent of their combined cologne swirled around her, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. How could she have ever thought she was over them?
For the next hour Sasha was exposed to the extremely obnoxious flirting Brianna did with Tanner. She refused to look at him, although with Jonas brushing his forearm along hers and the side of Tanner’s knee sliding against hers, it was hard to focus on anything. She went through the same line of questioning with Tanner as she had with Jonas, but there was no relaxing around Tanner. He was equally surprised at her sudden arrival, despite Rian telling him she was moving back to town. That had been the extent of their conversation, though. She learned Tanner also worked for Rian’s construction company as their head architect. It wasn’t a surprise that the twins were intelligent and successful.