The table was set and he was on the point of taking the first omelette out of the pan, so she quickly buttered the bread and at his request poured the wine, and all the time she was wishing that she’d kept to her first intention and dressed up for the impromptu meal that they were about to share, especially as Nathan was attired in the smart casual clothes that she’d seen him in once before and been much impressed.
If she had expected awkward silences as the meal progressed she was mistaken. As if he was geared up for no embarrassment, his conversation was all about the practice, Swallowbrook and the coming harvest, and when he asked who was going to be there to receive the children’s gifts she said, ‘It’s me, I’m afraid. The headmaster decided that as so many of the children and their parents already know me from the surgery it would be nice if I could spare the time.
‘I would have refused if it had been later in the day, but it will only be for the first half-hour or so in the morning and Hugo is going to hold the fort until I show up. Also you’re due at the surgery at half past nine if I’m delayed for any reason.’
‘Yes, of course,’ he said evenly, aware that she was still putting up a cold front as far as he was concerned.
When they’d finished eating and tidied the kitchen Nathan said, ‘While I’m getting the ladder out, would you mind popping upstairs to check on Toby? He sometimes wakens up crying for his mother.’
‘And what do you do when that happens?’ she asked anxiously.
‘Hold him close until the moment has passed and he has gone back to sleep. Understandably there were a lot of those kind of moments when he first came to me, but they are gradually reducing and since coming to Swallowbrook there hasn’t been one.’
‘Have you any regrets about taking on such a big responsibility?’ she asked gently, because when it came to what he’d done for Toby she could find no fault in him and had to fight the desire to help him in every way she could.
But Nathan wasn’t asking for her help. She would die of mortification if she offered it and he turned her down in the same way as when she’d offered him her heart.
‘No, none,’ he said in answer to her question. ‘If ever I have any children of my own, he will be as one of them to me. Nothing will change my love for him, and he’s brought purpose into my life.’
He was capable of great love, she thought bleakly. One day some fortunate woman would come along and she would be truly blessed if he should give his heart to her.
‘Shall we start picking the fruit?’ she asked, bringing back to mind her suggestion for solving his predicament regarding the harvest. ‘I have a safety light at the back of the cottage, which will help us to see in the dark.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll go up the ladder and throw the fruit down to you. Do you want me to take it all off for you, or just enough for Toby to take to the school?’
‘All of it, I think, if you don’t mind,’ she told him. ‘I have a large basket that will hold the apples and a big earthenware dish for the plums.’
They were making good progress with the fruit-picking. She was actually enjoying it, Libby was thinking, in spite of the awkwardness she felt in his company, but there was about to be an interruption.
His phone was ringing next door and, jumping off the ladder, he said, ‘I need to get that fast before it disturbs Toby.’ He ran towards his place. ‘I won’t be long, Libby.’
When he’d gone she stood around for a few moments and then decided that she may as well go up the ladder and carry on where he’d left off. Engrossed in what she was doing, she didn’t see him come back into the shadowed garden until he called up to her. Taken by surprise, she turned swiftly and the ladder, propped against the tree trunk, moved with her, tilting backwards and throwing her off.
In those few seconds she was expecting to land on a flagged patio beneath the trees, but she was reckoning without his quick thinking. Instead of hitting the ground, she found herself safe in his arms with her fast-beating heart close against his chest.
‘Wow,’ he said softly as he looked down at her. ‘Why didn’t you wait until I came back?’ Their glances met. ‘But that’s not how you do things, is it?’
She was too shocked for the meaning behind his words to register. Instead she was thinking that he had only ever touched her twice in all the years she’d known him and both times it had been out of necessity rather than desire.
The first time had been at the airport when an intended peck on the cheek in the form of an apology for his harshness had somehow become a moment of passion, and tonight it had been when he’d saved her from what could have been a nasty fall, and now with her still held close in his arms he was carrying her inside and placing her on the sofa in her sitting room.
‘Are you all right after that scare?’ he asked, looking down at her anxiously.
‘Yes, I’m fine. Just a bit shaken, that’s all,’ she assured him, which was true, but it was more due to where she’d found herself when she’d been saved from harm, rather than being thrown off the ladder.
He was frowning. ‘I’m going to have to go, Libby. I’ve left Toby alone for long enough, but I do need to know that you’re all right. He sleeps in my room at present, so I do have a spare room and a camp bed. Do you want to come and spend the night with us so that my mind will be at rest about you?
‘I’ll move Toby and I into the spare and you can have my room. I might have caught you, but the suddenness of it could have jarred every bone in your body and it doesn’t always take effect immediately.’
She could feel her colour rising. A night under the same roof as him would have been very appealing at one time but not now, because if she ever came as close to him again as she’d been when he’d caught her she wouldn’t be able to guarantee keeping to her vows of staying clear of him, and that was already beginning to look like a no-no, as try as she would to avoid him he was invading her evenings as well as her days.
‘Thanks for the offer, but I really will be fine,’ she told him, ‘and do, please, go back to Toby. I can’t bear the thought of him wakening and you not being there.’
He nodded. ‘OK. I’ll go, but ring me if you have any problems in the night and we’ll both come over.’
‘Don’t forget to take Toby some of the fruit for the harvest,’ she reminded him with a change of subject, pointing to a small wicker basket on the coffee table beside her. ‘If you put it in that, it shouldn’t be too heavy for him to carry.’
He did as she’d suggested without speaking and when it was done wished her goodnight and departed.
When he’d gone she sat gazing out into the dark night with her mind in a whirl. So he thought she didn’t need him, which was not surprising as she was giving him no reason to think otherwise. She was putting on a good show of indifference, false as it was, because after being in his arms and held so close to him she was realising that it was no use pretending any more. She needed him like she needed to breathe, but Nathan was never going to know that.
He’d humiliated her once, a second time was not to be endured, and as her neck started to ache from the jarring of the fall and a headache was coming on she went upstairs to bed and wished she’d accepted his offer if only to be around when Toby awoke the next morning.
Back at the cottage next door Nathan was also facing up to what he saw as home truths. One of them being that Libby still hadn’t forgiven him for past hurts, and another was that she was only tolerating his presence because of Toby who she was so sorry for, and saw himself merely as part of the package.
But he could wait for that forgiveness. Make it up to her somehow. Ever since that day in the church porch he’d been cultivating patience, along with the strength of will that had helped him to give her breathing space after Jefferson had died.
He would have stayed away if it hadn’t been for the needs of one small
boy. Still, one day he might find the right moment to tell Libby how sorry he was for the way he’d treated her at the airport that day, but with her on the defensive all the time it might be some time in coming.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE next morning Nathan kept a lookout for Libby going across to open the surgery at eight o’clock in preparation for the eight-thirty start, as was her routine. He’d decided that if she didn’t appear he would be round at the cottage next door immediately to check up on her, but not until then because he felt that in his eagerness to have her under his roof the night before he might have overdone it.
He would be concerned for anyone who had escaped what could have been a very serious fall and might be suffering from the after-effects of the incident, but this was Libby, blonde, beautiful and the most caring person he’d ever known. He was really getting to know her at last and liking it more than he could have ever believed he would.
He’d only moved away from the window for a moment to give Toby his cereal and when he turned back she was there, crossing the short distance that separated the two cottages from the practice building, wearing a blue dress that enhanced her golden fairness and clung to her slender curves as if it was moulded on them.
It was very different from the plain suits she wore during surgery hours, but she was doing the harvest thing this morning and must have decided that the children should see her in something less sombre while she was in their midst.
As far as he could see, she seemed all right after the night before, and if where she’d landed had not been to her liking she had concealed it very well.
Hugo had just arrived and as the two doctors met at the main doors of the surgery and chatted for a moment Nathan thought how relaxed she was with him, smiling at something he’d said and showing no signs of the guarded approach that she reserved for himself.
Presumably the other man had done nothing to upset her, which was more than could be said for his treatment of her. But now he was back where he belonged, amongst the lakes and fells, working in the practice once more, and with those things to provide some small degree of togetherness he was really getting to know Libby Hamilton who for as long as he could remember had always been on the edges of his life and was now filling it with all the things he’d ever wanted in a woman.
Unaware that she was being observed, Libby hesitated for a moment when Hugo had gone into the building and glanced across at his place.
What was she thinking? he wondered.
He was soon to find out. She was retracing her steps back to the cottages and coming up his path. When she knocked on the door he was there in an instant, observing her questioningly.
‘I’ve just been to open up at the surgery,’ she explained, ‘and thought I’d call back to let you know that I’m fine after our fruit-picking episode. No harm done.’
‘That’s good,’ he said, and had to step to one side before he could say anything else as Toby was behind him, wanting to speak to Dr. Hamilton.
As she smiled at the child she said, ‘It is rather a mouthful for Toby to have to say every time he refers to me. Can’t he just call me Libby?’
‘Yes, if you are happy with that,’ he agreed, ‘though maybe not this morning in front of the whole school.’
‘No, perhaps not, but after that it will be fine,’ she told him, and wished they could have a conversation that sounded less stiff and formal.
But at least he was there in the flesh, she could see him, touch him if she so desired, but desire was not the name of the game where they were concerned. Just because he’d held her close in his arms the night before, it didn’t mean that Nathan had any yearnings in that direction.
‘I have to go,’ she said with sudden urgency. ‘I’ve arranged to see a patient before I go to the school. Patrice Lewis is Hugo’s sister. Do you remember me telling you that he left a position in general practice in one of the southern counties to help her through a difficult time?
‘She lost her husband round about the same time that Ian died and has been left with two young girls to bring up. She is very gentle and can’t always cope with her grief, so Hugo has come to join her for as long as it takes for her to get back onto an even footing.
‘I see her once a month for a chat and a repeat of any medication she may be on, and her appointment, which she relies on a lot, was made before I was asked to take part in the harvest celebration at the school. So once she has been I’ll see you both there, won’t I?’
As she hurried back to the surgery Libby was wishing she hadn’t ended that last sentence with a question. It had overtones of pleading and that was the last thing she was ever going to do where he was concerned.
The school hall was full when she arrived, with the primary classes at the front, the junior school behind them, and any parents who had been free to attend seated at the back.
Toby was on the front row, clutching his basket of fruit, and as she took her seat on the platform they exchanged smiles. She’d given up on trying not to care for him too much. How could she not allow herself to want to see a small boy happy?
Sitting at the back, Nathan had seen those smiles and she would have been surprised to know that his thoughts were running along similar lines. That if Libby could show Toby the love and tenderness that he was missing from his mother, maybe the sad gap in his young life might be filled. She was living next door to them and except for actually residing in the same house, she couldn’t be much closer to the child than that.
He knew that she had none of those kinds of feelings for him. Would take a dim view of the way his thoughts were racing ahead. But it was early days, and time was on his side. He and the boy weren’t going anywhere and hopefully neither was she.
Libby and the headmaster were seated behind a long wooden table covered with a white cloth and as the children were helped up onto the platform one by one she accepted the gifts they had brought with a smile for each one of them.
When the last one had handed over their harvest offering she placed her own contribution, a large crusty loaf baked in the shape of a sheaf of corn, in the middle of them, and then a short service of thanksgiving took place.
She saw Nathan leave the hall just before half past nine and remembered her comment to him that if she wasn’t back by then she would expect him to be there assisting Hugo with the first surgery of the day.
What did he think of her behind his politely pleasant manner? she wondered. That she was a dried-up, widowed, boss woman, and an unforgiving one at that? The thought brought tears to her eyes. It wasn’t how she wanted him to see her, but it was one way of hiding her feelings.
As he’d walked back to the practice with the vision of her on the platform in the blue dress at the front of his mind, Nathan had been thinking that it was as well that Libby had been wearing her old clothes the night before when he’d caught her in his arms, or he might have forgotten that he was supposed to be keeping to their lukewarm reunion and let his awakening consciousness of her ruin everything.
As the golden days of autumn dwindled, with winter’s chill hovering late at night and in the pale dawn, he said one morning, ‘Is it all right with you if I call everyone at the practice together to make an announcement before the day gets under way, Libby?’
‘Yes, of course,’ she replied, with dread making her feel nauseous at the thought of what he might be about to say, such as that he was moving on to somewhere new, for which she could be responsible with her lack of welcome and aloofness.
When Nathan had first come back to Swallowbrook he’d been emphatic that it was there he wanted to be, but when he’d said that he hadn’t been expecting to find himself living next door to an ice maiden.
When they were all assembled in the practice manager’s office he said, ‘Just a quick word. As I came back to Swallowbrook almost at the same time as my father
was retiring from the practice, I wasn’t able to arrange a suitable farewell for him, so I am going to put that right on Saturday evening by inviting you all to a meal in the banqueting suite of the new hotel by the lakeside.’
As relief washed over her Libby’s colour was rising. Before anyone else had the chance to reply she said, ‘I would like to make it clear that we didn’t get the opportunity to do something like that when your father left us because he was adamant that he would want you to be there on the occasion of anything of that nature, so we had to leave it in order to abide by his wishes.
‘I for one will be delighted to accept the invitation. John Gallagher was more to me than just a colleague, he was there for me always in the good times and bad.’ Her voice broke. ‘He cared, and caring is a precious thing.’
There was silence for a moment then everyone began to talk at once, expressing their pleasure at being asked to such a gathering. For the rest of the day the surprise party was the main topic of conversation when anyone had a free moment.
As Libby had gone back to her consulting room Nathan had been close behind and he’d followed her inside and closed the door.
‘There was no criticism intended in what I said, Libby. I know what Dad can be like when he digs his heels in,’ he told her. ‘You wanting to arrange a farewell must have coincided with me getting in touch with him to say that I was coming back with my soon-to-be-adopted son. I presume he didn’t pass that information on because I’d been away so long, he felt that he would believe it when he saw it.’
She was smiling. ‘I think what you are arranging is a lovely idea. You are making up for the lack of a proper farewell and that is all that matters, yet what about Toby? It will be late for him to be up.’
He nodded. ‘Yes, I know, but there is no one I can leave him with that I would trust, except you.’
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