by Niki Burnham
But I can’t open my mouth. I’m too chicken.
I’m chicken of having a relationship with Connor if it means conflict with my brother.
I’m doubly chicken of hearing that this is it, we’re done now, and then having Connor see the heartache I know I won’t be able to hide when he tries to let me down easy.
I bite back a sigh. Maybe it’d be for the best. I need to make school and the upcoming SATs my focus, not Connor Strabinowski.
I reach down and pick a tiny piece of bark off his shirt. “Speaking of Josh, he’ll be done with Dr. Krantz soon, so we should probably go. My guess is that you’ll want to shower this stuff off soon, anyway.”
My guess is also that Connor doesn’t want Josh to catch us.
I start to stand up, but Connor traps me against him, drawing my gaze to his. “Peyton? For the record, I wasn’t expecting any of this between us. It’s kinda hit me out of the blue. But I don’t regret it. I hope you don’t, either.”
I shake my head no, my hair catching between his arm and the sofa as I do. Without being asked, he reaches down to free it. Then he kisses me again. It doesn’t feel like a kiss goodbye. It’s slow, tender, and full of promise.
So why is he worried I might regret this?
Chapter Eleven | Connor
I have to talk to Molly. Like, yesterday.
Literally, I should have talked to her yesterday, the instant she made her offer to help me eliminate Drew. I should have made it clear that I am not the answer to her romantic problems. If, after I talked to her, she still wanted to help me knock Drew out of the tourney, fine. If not, well, at least I’d have this monkey off my back.
But no, I kept my stupid mouth shut. As a result, at this very moment Molly’s laughing it up with all her friends not twenty feet away from me. I’m sure she’s telling them what went down at the funeral home because several of them have looked over at me and flashed thumbs-up signs or mouthed, “Way to go!”
Peyton’s worried about ruining my friendship with Josh, but that’s not my immediate problem. Everything I want with Peyton is on hold until I get this Molly situation rectified. If I don’t, it’s going to explode in my face.
“You’re not subtle when you stare,” Josh whispers over his cheeseburger. We’re seated at the least bird-pooped of the ancient wooden picnic tables in the cafeteria courtyard. It’s humid and overcast, so most people are eating indoors, but given the fact that Josh and I need to keep a low profile from the moment school lets out today through noon Sunday, when round one ends, we’re both craving low-stress outdoor time. Soccer practice doesn’t count. It may be outdoors, but it’s not low-stress.
When I don’t respond, Josh flicks a look toward Molly and her friends. “You know yesterday was all for show, right? She wasn’t really crying over Drew. It shouldn’t bother you.”
I grab my soda to wash down a bite of burger. “You didn’t see what I saw.” I tell him about the wrapped flowers in the front seat of Drew’s car. It completely slipped my mind after Josh set off his car alarm, but when I was trying to fall asleep last night, the image returned full force.
“Maybe they were for his mom. Yesterday could’ve been her birthday for all we know.” At my skeptical look, Josh adds, “Even if the flowers weren’t for his mother, Molly would’ve seen them. She was standing right beside his car. If she wanted Drew back, she’d have handled things another way. She could’ve signaled us at any moment to hold our fire. She didn’t. In fact, when he started yelling, she seemed pretty darned relaxed about it all.”
“In which case, I feel even worse. You know she’s telling her friends all about it?” Josh has to lean forward to hear me, I’m speaking so quietly. “I don’t want her to have done all that thinking she has a future with me. When she figures out that it’s never gonna happen—”
“That’s why you need to drop hints about Peyton. Soon.” He removes a ketchup-laden pickle from his burger and drops it into the foil wrapper, then looks past me, toward the cafeteria doors. “Hey, speak of the devil.”
I glance over my shoulder to see Peyton holding her lunch tray in both hands, using her rear end to prop open the cafeteria door so two of her friends can walk outside. She looks amazing in her faded jeans and plain white T-shirt. Her blond hair is pulled back in a ponytail, which usually isn’t my thing, but it’s carefree in a way that makes her seem like she walked right off a beach shoot for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover and was forced to put on school clothes.
The mental image of Peyton strolling by me in a swimsuit makes me glad I’m sitting at a table. I wipe my face with a napkin so no one can tell what I’m really thinking.
“Hey, Peyton,” Josh calls out. “Tina, Kendall, over here!”
They’re heading for one of the open tables, but at Josh’s wave they eyeball each other, shrug, and then turn toward us.
“What are you doing?” I hiss. “Do not hint that I’m seeing Peyton. Seriously. I know you think this is a brilliant plan, but—”
“We have plenty of space if you want to sit here.” Josh ignores me to smile at the girls as they approach.
“Sure,” Peyton’s friends say at the same time. The short brunette must be Tina, since I know the one with black, curly hair is Kendall. They hustle to scoot in on either side of Josh, giving him flirtatious smiles as they set down their trays, leaving Peyton no choice but to take the spot beside me.
The moment she slides her tray next to mine, I freeze. All I can think about is being alone with her the way we were yesterday afternoon.
I say hi to Tina and Kendall, then to Peyton. I sound so casual I surprise myself. Even though there’s a sparkle in Peyton’s blue eyes when she says hello back, anyone watching would think she was simply being polite.
She moves to brush something off her leg and I catch the faintest whiff of her hair. It’s the same light, coconut-y scent I smelled when we were together yesterday, the one that made me want to linger with my lips pressed to her forehead. I swallow hard, forcing myself to turn my face away so all I smell are the burgers.
Today. I will talk to Molly today.
The instant I’m away from Josh and Peyton, I’ll text her and arrange to meet up in the hallway outside the locker rooms before soccer practice so I can be done with it. I’ll explain that I feel like I took advantage of our friendship yesterday in an effort to win Senior Assassin, and that I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that after all these years, even if other teams do the same thing.
If her response is anything but strictly platonic, if she so much as bats an eyelash or touches my hand, I’ll tell her that I’m seeing someone and that I don’t want her to think I’m leading her on. I never want her to look at me the way she looked at Drew yesterday.
That should do it. Kind, yet firm. Bonus: I’ll have soccer as a ticking clock on the conversation and quick access to the locker room. Plus, that hallway’s always empty, so she’ll have privacy.
I exhale, having mentally settled on a course of action, then continue as Josh jokes around with Peyton’s friends. I take it as a positive sign that the school lunch actually tastes good today. As long as Josh keeps his fake girlfriend plan to himself for another few hours, I’ll be in the clear with Molly and can see where things go with Peyton.
When Senior Assassin’s over and it’s safe to venture out to the movies, mini golf, or candlepin bowling, who knows? Maybe we can have an old-fashioned date.
Beside me, Peyton stiffens at the same time I hear someone approach.
“How’s everyone doing here?”
I shift my gaze to the far end of the table, where Drew is standing with his lunch tray. He looks suspiciously friendly given his tirade yesterday.
“Doing fine,” Josh says.
“Sorry about yesterday,” I tell Drew. Not that I’m truly sorry, though I sound sincere enough. “If the Delanos hadn’t shown up at your house Tuesday morning, we could’ve avoided dragging you to Blanchard’s.”
“Yeah, sucks to be humil
iated in front of a girl, especially one you have a history with.” He grins at the girls sitting on either side of Josh, who exchange confused looks. They have no idea what he’s talking about since Josh and I haven’t told anyone besides Peyton about the hit. We merely logged the time and location with Jayne via e-mail as required by tournament rules. No details.
Drew surprises me by turning to Peyton. “Probably makes you feel bad when one guy totally humiliates another in front of you, huh? Awkward? I guarantee you, it’s worse for the guy.”
Josh takes another bite of his burger, purposely ignoring the fact everyone at the table is suddenly ill at ease. Following his lead, Peyton says nothing.
“Whaddya think, Connor? Easy for a guy to get embarrassed in front of a girl he likes?” The outdoor space still isn’t full, but the tables are in such close proximity that any conversation is public if you don’t make an effort to keep your voice down. While Drew’s tone is affable enough, his presence has captured the attention of people sitting at nearby tables.
My guess is that whatever Drew has in mind, he’s choosing his words knowing that Molly is within earshot.
I follow Josh’s lead and take a bite of my burger, refusing to take Drew’s bait. I simply shrug, mouth full, and make a dismissive sound.
Drew sets his tray on the end of our table with a thunk. A few of his fries bounce out of their cardboard container, skittering toward Peyton. Drew scoops them up one by one and pops them in his mouth, even though Tina and Kendall grimace at the fries’ proximity to the bird poo.
As Drew licks a spot of ketchup from his top lip, Peyton scoots toward me, her shoulder grazing mine. Whether the movement was on purpose or a reflex, I don’t know, but she’s picking up the same ominous signals that I am.
“Well, I’m going to do you a favor, Strabinowski,” Drew says once he’s downed his fries. “I’m going to save you from the kind of humiliation I experienced yesterday.”
Josh drops his burger into its wrapper. “Drew, whatever it is you want, make your point and go away. It’s a freaking game. Connor and I followed the rules, so if you have an issue with—”
Drew holds his hands out in mock surrender. “No, no, nothing like that. I’m only here to give Connor a little advice. You know, friend to friend.”
I’m about to tell Drew where he can stuff his advice when Josh says it for me. With a smile. The courtyard’s eerily quiet as I wait for Drew to fire back. Conversations at the other tables have ceased; no one so much as slurps a soda or crumples their trash. Everyone’s frozen, sneaking peeks our direction.
None of this deters Drew. Disregarding Josh’s comments, he flattens his palms on either side of his tray and leans forward to look me in the eye. “It was an inspired move to have Molly lure me to that parking lot. You caught me off guard and executed a perfect hit in a place I never expected you to be. Bravo. But what did you do to convince Molly to invite me there, Connor? Flirt with her? Make a few promises you have no intention of keeping? For what, a few hundred dollars and the glory of it?”
My lunch goes bone-dry in my mouth. Not only is every word he utters going to be repeated in classrooms and on sports fields the rest of the afternoon, Peyton is sitting so still it’s as if she’s cut from marble.
I try to keep my composure even as Drew smirks. I look past Peyton and speak deliberately and in as low a voice as possible to keep from making a spectacle of myself. “Drew, whatever happened between you and Molly is between you and Molly. Don’t drag me into it.”
“Oh, but this isn’t about me and Molly. It’s about you and Molly.”
Kendall and Tina stare open-mouthed at Drew, then look to Peyton, as if they can’t believe they’re in the middle of this.
Drew looks around the table to ensure he has everyone’s attention, then focuses on me once more. “See, Molly has a mad crush on you. I’m sure of it. And I’m sure you know it, too. I saw her in the hall yesterday, with her hand on your arm. Like this.” He makes a sappy face and wraps one hand around his opposite forearm. “I assumed you were having a polite chat, ‘cause everyone knows Molly’s a polite girl, despite how things went down yesterday. Plus, you two have been friends since you were young enough to get ‘good boy’ cheers from your parents for going pee pee on the potty. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized Molly once looked at me exactly the same way…when she and I first started going out.”
Josh shifts as if he’s about to say something, but Drew speaks first. “You don’t have to tell me, Lindor. The entire school knows I screwed up with Molly.”
Drew looks around the courtyard for confirmation, but no one makes a sound. I don’t dare look at Molly’s table to measure her reaction.
“Molly got some sweet revenge, though, didn’t she? And I guess I deserved it. But here’s the thing: I’ve learned the hard way how you should and shouldn’t treat a girl. You can learn the easy way.” He picks up a french fry and points it at me. “My advice to you? Be a man. Let Molly down right now. Tell her you’re seeing someone else already, Strabinowski. Otherwise, when she figures it out herself—which she will—she’s going to make an even worse example of you than she did of me. Plus, I bet your new girlfriend doesn’t know you’re in the halls flirting with Molly, which means you’re going to get zinged double, ‘cause she won’t take being treated that way, either.”
Drew pops the fry into his mouth, a smug grin spreading across his face as he adds, “For the record, most girls think two-timing’s even sleazier than what I did.”
Josh’s eyes widen a fraction, though he keeps his lip zipped. I can tell he wonders whether I’ve kept something from him and if this is why I didn’t go for his fake girlfriend idea with Peyton.
Little does he know the real girlfriend—not that she’s even my girlfriend—is Peyton.
“Duly noted.” I give a nonchalant, one-shouldered shrug, then take a drink as if nothing happened. I suspect the less said the better, given the audience, even though I’m itching to explain Drew’s comments to Josh, Molly, and especially Peyton.
Drew picks up his tray. I keep right on guzzling my soda, relieved he’s finally going away. As soon as I talk to Molly and clear the air, I’ll make sure I get some private time with Peyton and explain that I’d never two-time any girl, let alone one as incredible as she is.
While I’m at it, I’ll ask Peyton out. Officially. Screw Senior Assassin and staying behind closed doors. I’ll let everyone see with their own two eyes that I’m no cheater. I set down my soda, waiting until Drew’s safely away from our table.
Except he’s not moving.
“Watch out for him, Peyton,” Drew tosses out the comment as if it’s nothing. “Strabinowski will break your heart if you’re not careful.”
Chapter Twelve | Connor
My gut couldn’t twist more painfully if Drew plunged his cafeteria fork into my stomach.
“Peyton?” Kendall and Tina speak at the same time, bewildered looks on their faces.
“What, you didn’t think anyone knew?” There’s an acerbic edge to Drew’s voice as he addresses me. “I bet Peyton thought you two were on the down low, too. But you can’t keep a secret like that in Eastwood, especially when there are a couple hundred seniors stalking each other in every corner of town twenty-four seven.”
Peyton doesn’t utter a sound. Kendall eyes me for a moment, then zeroes in on Drew. “What in the world are you talking about? Peyton and Connor are not together.”
Drew’s tray clunks against the table once more. The sound may as well be a hammer against my skull. In a voice reminiscent of a tabloid TV reporter, he drawls, “Since you ask, it seems that Peyton and Connor here were caught giggling together at Lowe’s on Monday night, crawling around in the shelves as they looked for bubble wrap. At least, that’s what they claimed they were doing, since they were in an aisle that doesn’t even carry bubble wrap. That was the same afternoon Peyton drove by Grayson’s house—with Connor in the passenger seat, of course—on a scoutin
g mission.”
“Sounds like she was helping Josh get ready to annihilate you and Grayson,” Tina says. “I’d be giggling at Lowe’s, too, if I were there buying gear to make, say, a balloon launcher.”
Tina is rewarded with guffaws from the entire table. Other tables join in, though I don’t recognize the sound of Molly’s laughter amongst the others.
“You’d think.” Drew has the audacity to slide in next to Kendall. Horrified, she mushes into Josh, leaving Tina uncomfortably balanced at the very end of the bench. Molly might be a great actress, but Drew’s a showman. He lifts the tab on his soda and takes a long drink, drawing out the moment as everyone waits to hear what he’ll say next.
And there’s not a thing I can do about it.
Finally, he sets down the can and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Thing is, Peyton was also seen going into Connor’s house earlier this week—without her brother, I might add—and staying for quite awhile. What could she have been doing alone with him in there?”