“I’m not sure how much help I’m giving Emma with Zachariah gone. I feel like I know less than she does. I’m afraid I may steer her wrong.” And drain away Emma’s dowry instead of increasing it. Not that he cared about the money.
With a start, he realized he was thinking about marriage. To Emma.
He glanced over his shoulder. All his brothers were occupied. He chewed on his lower lip for a second as he stared at Rebecca.
His mother elbowed her. “He’s getting up his courage.”
Rebecca folded her hands in front of her. “He’s pretty slow about it.”
“He takes after his father.”
Luke scowled at them. “This is serious.”
Rebecca smiled. “I will happily be your go-between with my cousin Emma.”
“What makes you think I was going to ask you that?” He didn’t like the idea that the women in the house were one step ahead of him.
Rebecca and his mother exchanged glances and laughed. Between chuckles, his mother said, “We have been waiting for you to realize what it is that you want. All this talk of helping her make her business a success shows you’ve made up your mind.”
He looked down at the book he held. “I guess maybe I have.” Saying it meant he would stay in Bowmans Crossing, join the church, settle down and hopefully marry one day. Once he was a free man.
Rebecca gave him a sympathetic look. “We are all going to the cookie exchange. I’ll find a time to speak to her alone then. You’ll have your answer by Wednesday of next week.”
Could it really be that easy?
Only if the answer was yes. If it was no, how did he deal with that?
Rebecca left the room and his mother came to his side. She pointed to the books he held. “In all your reading, I want you to remember one thing. Business is about relationships. Treat a customer right—he comes back. Treat him right again and he’ll send his friend. It’s not about what you can sell him today. It’s about what he’ll buy from you in his lifetime. Tell Emma she must not work in fear of failure. That is shortsighted. She should work as if she knows God will take care of it all. Because He will.”
“I’ll share that with her.”
“It is a lesson you should learn, too, my son.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you live in fear of failure, you doubt God’s goodness and mercy. Fear steals your strength.”
He did live in fear. Fear of failure, fear of returning to drugs. Could he find the faith, the strength, to believe God would not let that happen to him again? He had to or he couldn’t ask Emma to consider him. He had to be sure, for her sake as well as his own.
* * *
Emma sat beside Roy as he turned in at the Aaron Miller farm. Dozens of buggies were already lined up on the hillside west of the barn. The horses, still wearing their harnesses, were tied up along the fence. Most stood dozing in the sun while others were content to munch on the hay spread in front of them until they were needed to return home.
The bulk of the morning’s activity was focused around the barn. Aaron Miller’s home was too small to accommodate all the church’s family members. The service would be held in his barn.
The men of the community were busy unloading backless seats from the large gray boxlike bench wagon that was used to transport the benches from home to home for the services held every other Sunday. Bishop Beachy was supervising the unloading. When the wagon was empty, he joined his two ministers, and they all approached the house.
Emma entered the farmhouse ahead of them. Inside, it was a beehive of activity as the women and young girls arranged food on counters and tables. The smaller children were being watched over by elder sisters or cousins. She knew Alvin would be outside with the young boys, playing a game of tag. Roy would find his friends to gossip with and watch the girls bringing food inside.
Catching sight of her Aunt Ina visiting with Rebecca, Emma crossed the room toward them and handed over her basket of food. “Guder mariye.”
“Good morning,” Rebecca replied, taking the basket from her. “Isn’t this weather nice? I hope it lasts.”
Emma said, “I see the bishop and the ministers coming already. We should hurry.” Bishop Beachy and his two ministers entered the house and went upstairs to one of the bedrooms. There they would discuss the preaching for the day. Nothing would be written down.
The service would last for approximately three hours and all the preaching would be done from memory alone. Amish ministers had no formal training. They spoke from the heart, as they believed God inspired them.
When Emma reached the barn with her aunt and cousin, she saw it was already filled with people sitting quietly on rows of backless wooden benches. The women sat on one side of the aisle and men on the other side. Tarps and blankets had been hung over ropes stretched between upright timbers to cordon off an area for the service. The sounds of cattle and horses could be heard from the nearby stalls.
Rebecca and Ina took their places among the married women. Emma spied Lillian among the unmarried women and went to join her. She looked about for her brothers and saw them sitting in the back row on the men’s side as close to the open door as they could get. The moment the service was finished, they would rush out.
From the men’s side of the aisle, the Volsinger or song leader announced the first hymn. There was a wave of rustling and activity as people opened their thick songbooks. The Ausbund contained the words of all the hymns the Amish used, but no musical scores. The songs were sung from memory, passed down through countless generations. They were sung slowly and in unison by people opening their hearts and minds to receive God’s presence without the distraction of musical instruments. The elderly man started the hymn in a clear, sweet voice that reminded Emma of Alvin’s voice. The rest of the congregation joined in, and she could hear Alvin singing loud and strong behind her. She couldn’t pick out Roy’s voice and knew he was mumbling his way through. He hated singing. She tried to pick out Luke’s voice, but couldn’t.
At the end of the first hymn, Emma took a moment to glance toward the men’s side. She spotted Luke sitting just behind the married men. His unmarried brothers sat near the back while Joshua and Samuel sat beside their father. Luke glanced in her direction, and she smiled at him. He smiled back and then focused on his songbook. The song leader announced the second hymn: “O Gott Vater, wir Loben dich (O God the Father, We Praise You).” It was always the second hymn of an Amish service.
Emma forgot about Luke and her brothers as she joined the entire congregation in singing God’s praise, asking that He allow the ministers to speak true to His teachings, and praying that the people present would receive His words and take them into their hearts.
At the end of the second hymn, the ministers and Bishop Beachy came in. They hung their black hats on pegs set in the wall for that purpose. It was the signal that the preaching was about to begin. Nearby, a young child began to fuss. His mother slipped a string of beads and buttons from her purse and gave them to her little one. He quieted and played with his toy, chewing on it and shaking it while his mother focused on the preachers.
Emma tried to listen closely to what was being said, but she found her mind wandering. She thought of her father and prayed for his healing. She asked God to grant her patience to deal with Roy and she prayed for Luke, that he would find peace and acceptance within the community. Finally, she prayed to accept God’s will if it was His desire that she marry as her father wished. Wayne was a good man and he would make a good husband. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t make her heart race. Marriage had to be about more than simple physical attraction. It was about hard work, respect. and duty to God and church.
When the service was finally over, Emma joined the women in the house as they prepared a luncheon. The men stacked the backless benches to make tables and the food was laid ou
t for people to help themselves. The ministers and elders were served first. The youngsters played games outside until it was their turn to eat.
Luke came inside with Noah and Timothy when it was their turn. Emma was filling glasses with lemonade and cups with black coffee for those who wished it. Luke took a glass of lemonade from her. “I would like to speak to you when you’re done here.”
She looked around. “I think they can spare me for a few minutes.”
He looked pleased. “Why don’t we step outside?”
Her heart started hammering wildly. Was he about to ask her to ride home with him? Would she accept? “Let me get my cloak.”
He walked out but before she could follow, Lillian caught her by the arm. “Emma, what are you doing?”
“Luke wants to have a word with me.”
“If he asks to drive you home and you let him, you are a bigger fool than I would have believed possible.”
“I know you think he treated me badly in the past.”
“I don’t think it. I saw it. You cried on my shoulder for hours that night.”
“The other day you didn’t have any objections to him working with the children.”
“I don’t object to him helping his community. I do have an objection to him breaking your heart again. He’s not worth it, Emma. You can do better.”
She glanced out the window where Luke was waiting on the porch. “What if I don’t want to do better?”
What if Luke was the man she wanted? How could she know if he was the man God had chosen for her?
Chapter Eleven
Luke waited for Emma to come outside. He was already more nervous than he had been since the first time he asked the girl if he could drive her home after a Sunday-evening singing. That girl had been Emma and he had been a nervous sixteen-year-old. Why couldn’t Rebecca find a way to speak to her today? Why did he have to wait? He wasn’t good at waiting.
What answer would Emma give Rebecca? Would she be willing to go out with him or would he find out that Wayne was her choice. He tried to prepare himself to hear that answer.
He looked through the window and saw her talking to Lillian. Both women wore serious expressions. Lillian stood with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. It deepened when she caught sight of him. There was more than a friendly conversation going on. His hopes took a nosedive. Lillian might think it was all right for him to make Christmas decorations for the school, but he knew dating Emma would be a different story. Was she telling Emma as much?
“Luke, it’s good to see you this holy day. How have you been?”
He turned to see Bishop Beachy approaching. “I’ve been well and hoping to speak to you.”
“I just heard from Roy that you are helping to finish Zachariah’s store while he has traveled to his sister-in-law’s funeral in Missouri. I will spread the word so that others may offer their condolences. Do his children need anything?”
“A few extra hands to help finish the store before he returns would be wonderful.”
“I and my boys will come by this week. I’m sure I can find a few more volunteers, too.”
“That would be a blessing. Speaking of volunteers, I believe Lillian Keim could use a few extra hands getting the school ready for the Christmas program.”
“Really? She hasn’t mentioned this to me.”
“My brother Timothy and I built part of her set, but I overheard her say she could use more help making the costumes.”
The door to the house opened. Emma came outside with Lillian right behind her. The bishop turned to address them. “My condolences on your loss, Emma. With your father gone, you can depend on our community for any help.”
“Danki.”
“You will find many willing hands at your door this week to finish Zachariah’s store. Teacher Lillian, Luke tells me that you require more help with the costumes for the Christmas play. My wife and my daughters-in-law will be happy to assist, as will other women. You must not think you need to do all the work yourself. You must allow others the joy of making our Christmas program a success, too.”
Luke caught the look of surprise Lillian cast in his direction. She blushed slightly and dropped her gaze to her clasped hands. “I know the women of our community are especially busy this time of year getting ready for Christmas, Bishop. Many are cleaning to make ready for out-of-town visitors, baking for their families and for others. I hate to take them away from their tasks.”
“Those who cannot spare the time are excused, but those who do have a few extra moments on their hands will be glad to do something to benefit our kinder. I will spread the word. When should they meet with you?”
Lillian nodded once. “Danki, Bishop Beachy. Anyone who can help should come to the school on Tuesday at one o’clock.”
“I’ll pass on the message. Now I must see Aaron Miller and congratulate him. I hear he had a new grandson in Illinois.”
Luke spoke quickly. “Before you go, sir, Emma and I have one more concern.”
“What is it?”
Luke waited for Emma to speak; when she didn’t he charged ahead. “Zachariah has a number of solar panels that he has collected.”
The bishop laughed. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
Luke grinned, too. “They would provide electricity for the store if you were to approve their use.”
Slipping his thumbs beneath his suspenders, the bishop slid them up and down. “I have heard from other bishops that there is a great deal of interest in this new technology. Some communities have already embraced it. I’m afraid I can’t give you permission to use it without further study. This year’s regional bishops’ meeting is being held next week. I will seek the counsel of others on this matter and render a decision after that.”
“It uses God’s sunlight. It doesn’t connect us to the outside world,” Luke said, hoping to sway him to their side.
Smiling gently, the bishop nodded. “As you know, we Amish sometimes embrace a new invention only to find it does not promote our way of life. When I was a small boy, our community allowed the new telephones into our homes. It appeared on the surface to be a goot thing. A way to keep in touch with our families and to summon help in an emergency. For a while, it worked, but many soon began to notice people were spending too much time talking with others, not about business, but in gossip and other ways that were not beneficial to our people. The bishops met and agreed having a phone for emergencies was essential, but not in every home. My mother cried when my father took our phone out. We only have a community phone booth now. As others use solar power, they will gain a better understanding of its benefits and problems, and they will share what they have learned at the bishops’ meeting.”
“Thank you for considering it,” Emma said.
The bishop turned to Lillian. “Come with me and speak with my wife about what is needed for the school.”
When they were out of earshot, Emma smiled at him. “That was very kind of you to think of getting more help for Lillian.”
“I didn’t want you to worry about her since you aren’t able to help as much now that your father is gone.”
“I appreciate that, Luke. What did you want to speak to me about?”
He glanced around and noticed they were getting a few stares and frowns from some of the older members and his courage failed him. “I wanted to ask if you’d like to check out the hardware store over by Mount Hope. The owner is my mother’s second cousin. My father says he’ll be happy to show us how to run a hardware business.”
“Sure. When?”
She smiled shyly at him and his hopes soared high once more. A long buggy ride without prying eyes on them was a better place to speak of courting than this. “The sooner the better. I’ll be at your place bright and early tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you the
n.”
She had to like him. But did she like him enough to agree he could come courting?
* * *
“Emma, get your coat.”
She looked up in surprise when Luke came rushing into the house on Monday morning. “My coat? Why?”
“Because we are going shopping.”
“For what?”
“Experience and information. Hurry, it’s a long drive and it looks like it could snow.” He rushed out the door.
She got her coat and followed him, but she didn’t get in the buggy. “I still don’t understand what we are doing. We need to be here to direct the men working inside.”
“There were already five men working with Roy in the store. Roy knows what needs to be done. Get in.”
Exasperated, she climbed in the buggy and shut the door. A basket with warm bricks at her feet kept the chill away. “At least tell me where we’re going.”
Luke slapped the reins against the horse’s rump. “I already told you. The hardware store in Mount Hope.”
“I didn’t think you meant we’d go rushing off first thing this morning.”
“My father said if I wanted to grow corn, I should talk to a farmer, and if I wanted to run a business, I should talk to someone in the business.”
He seemed so pleased with himself that she couldn’t help but smile. “Let’s hope your mother’s cousin is a good businessman.”
“Amen to that.”
They rode in silence for a while with the steady clip-clop of the horse’s hooves and the hum of the tires on the road the only sounds to fill the void. She had so many questions that she wanted to ask him, yet she didn’t know how to start. Why had he left her behind? Why wasn’t her love good enough for him? Had there been someone else? An English girl?
As often as she told herself the past no longer mattered, the same questions came back to nag her.
“How is Roy doing with your father gone?” Luke glanced at her.
Her family was a safer subject than her past hurts. “He hasn’t been an easy person to have around. He resents every task I give him.”
An Amish Noel Page 12