Nothing would stop him.
Not even the tiny note in his room explaining Emma’s past. Sara had tried to be delicate, saying as little as possible. From what he could deduce, Emma had suffered some sort of tragedy
Sebastian wanted to be the one to help her heal from it. And he would be. “Love,” he said into her hair. “I invited Nicholas and Sara. Do go say hello while I get refreshments.”
Emma nodded and walked in their direction.
Her face was unreadable. It killed him to know he was the reason for her indifference, but soon she would be just as happy as he.
Chapter Twenty-two
Legs like lead, Emma walked slowly through the brush to where Nicholas and Sara stood. Both of them wearing stupid grins on their faces. Emma felt numb, as if her nerves had finally given up on her and ceased to work.
Sara was all smiles. Nicholas was brooding as usual. Her mood fit more with Nicholas’s than Sara’s at the moment.
“Was the house party to your liking?” Sara pulled her into a tight embrace.
“Of course,” Emma answered politely then looked to Nicholas for help. He seemed to be the type of fellow who could read emotions better than those around him.
His eyes squinted in her direction but he said nothing. Instead a scowl appeared on his face as she felt someone approach.
“Nicholas, how good to see you, and dear Sara, lovelier than ever?”
Rawlings had his hand across Emma’s back. She wanted to squirm away from his touch but felt immobilized. In fact she wasn’t sure she could feel anything but numbness. Her heart was like stone. Just when she was ready to open up to the possibility of Sebastian, thinking he might feel something for her, rejection had reared its ugly head yet again.
Rawlings leaned down to whisper in her ear, “I will always love you, dear Emma. Remember my offer when Tempest lets you down. Remember he hasn’t a care for you, only his own reputation is at stake.”
Nicholas cleared his throat. “I have need for a walk around the rooms. Would you care to join me, Emma?”
God be praised.
Starving for anything solid to lean on, Emma took his arm and bid goodbye to Sara, who was already chatting up Belverd and his wife while promptly ignoring Rawlings.
One by one her feet remembered they were walking. Yet she couldn’t feel them. She felt nothing. Nothing but the stabbing pain in her heart at the look on Sebastian’s face when he’d placed the necklace around her neck.
A choking sensation took over as she grasped desperately for the necklace with one hand while still holding onto Nicholas.
“Emma. What’s wrong?” Nicholas pulled her behind one of the plants decorating the ballroom.
She continued to pull at the necklace desperate for air.
“Stop, Emma! Stop!” Nicholas grabbed her clenched hands. “What has happened to you? Who has bothered you? Is it Rawlings? I’ll kill him.” His eyes darted around, looking for the man in question.
“If only it were him.” Emma’s voice was weak and shaky. “No, Rawlings might be a little forward, but he’s harmless.”
“What has you so upset?”
Dare she tell him? Sebastian and he were best friends. “Maybe I’m just tired.” The lie came easily and swiftly out of her lips.
Nicholas glanced away from her toward the swarms of people dancing. “I understand. Take a few moments and gather yourself then join the others. This is the last ball of the house party and then you are free to return to London.”
To nothing.
Nodding, she watched him walk back into the mass of people. A headache like none she’d ever experienced grew at the side of her temples, threatening to split her head in half. She was only a small distance away from everyone yet it felt like an eternity. Everywhere she looked people smiled and laughed. Wishing someone, anyone could understand, she felt her eyes well up with tears. Hadn’t she brought this on herself? To think that she, Emma Gates, with the soiled reputation she had, could not only seduce a duke, but also get him to fall in love with her?
A hand reached out to touch her. Without thought she grabbed at it and turned. Directly in front of her was Rawlings. His head touched hers. He bent and for a moment she thought he would kiss her. She was slightly hidden but not enough that people wouldn’t see how close he was to meeting her lips for a stolen kiss.
“Emma…” he moaned, then with a primitive growl, he pushed her against the wall opposite the ballroom and took his fill of her lips.
It was wrong, so horribly wrong. She shoved his chest as much as she could, but he was too strong for her.
“What in the—” Sebastian was suddenly upon Rawlings, throwing him off Emma with such force even she felt frightened. “What in the blazes is wrong with you, Rawlings? Taking advantage of my future wife?”
The words stung, even though Sebastian’s jealousy was evident, it wasn’t enough to keep him.
Rawlings smirked and wiped his mouth. “Don’t like me chomping at your leftovers, Sebastian?”
“Phillip, I swear, I’ll tear you from limb to limb if you ever touch her again. She isn’t yours to kiss.”
Rawlings snorted. “And you believe you have that right? You aren’t even betrothed. It’s a fake! You’re using her for your own personal gain, and I will not have it!”
The music stopped. Emma felt her face flush as people began whispering. If she hadn’t been ruined so many years ago, or the minute Sebastian kissed her in front of the ton, then surely she was ruined this instant. She would count herself lucky if one of her older suitors with gout would have her now.
Knowingly used by a duke, kissed by that same duke, all the while blatantly aware they would not be married.
Any hope of redeeming herself was lost.
Panicking and selflessly trying to keep Sebastian’s reputation as spotless as possible, she intervened. “Sebastian, let’s leave. He’s obviously foxed.”
“Foxed?” Rawlings laughed. “No, not foxed. Although I’d rather be foxed than have to fight this piece of scum for you, dear sweet Emma. After all, weren’t you mine first?”
“That’s it!” Sebastian tackled him to the floor.
Shrieking, Emma ran to get Nicholas. Someone had to keep the men from killing one another. As she turned the corner, she ran into a hard body.
“Excuse me, sir.” She pushed past him but was stopped by his grip on her writs.
“Sir?” No response came from the figure as she lifted her eyes to his, and then, everything went black.
Chapter Twenty-three
Sebastian was half-tempted to kill the man. Blood poured from a cut over his eye, but Rawlings continued to fight back. They rolled across the floor until Sebastian was on top of Rawlings throwing punches across his face.
A muscled body wrapped around the back of Sebastian and pulled him off the poor sod. He tried to attack once again, but he was firmly in the grasp of the person behind him.
“Stop at once! Have you no care for your reputation?” Nicholas growled.
For once in his life, Sebastian hadn’t a care for anything but his future wife’s honor. How dare this man touch her!
“It matters not. One way or another, I will kill him,” he swore.
Rawlings was still on the floor, head in his hands. “Are you bloody insane? I merely kissed her. You aren’t even engaged. It’s all a farce! What is wrong with you?” He continued to curse as blood poured from the cut above his eye as well as his nose. “Blast, if you were truly attached to her, I would have kept to myself.”
Sebastian had no words. What Rawlings said was entirely accurate, how was he to explain he’d had a change of heart? That he was, in fact, desperately and irrevocably in love with Emma Gates?
Pushing away from Nicholas, he gathered his footing. “Phillip…” His hand was outstretched to pull his old friend up.
Reluctantly, he grasped at it and stood albeit shakily on two feet. “You idiot, you could have killed me,” Rawlings muttered.
; Foolishly Sebastian grasped at the only truth he knew. “I thought you were still interested. You were affianced at one time, and you can’t tell me you weren’t trying to compromise her.”
Rawlings laughed. “At the tender age of five, yes. And then again before her come out. I was a complete dolt and trying to make amends. What I put her through, what I did to Emma was unforgiveable.”
The music continued as the men went to the far end of the ballroom toward Rawlings’ study. “I loved her, or I thought I did, you idiot,” he spat out, directing all his rage at Sebastian. “She’s been used before. Granted, I’m not totally innocent. Her dowry does pose a perfect solution to my problems, but at least I would try to love her, whereas you would destroy her.”
Sebastian winced. His face suddenly flushed as he realized how things must have looked to Rawlings, though he still hated him, he understood.
“Absolute scandal for the righteous Duke of Tempest, don’t you think?” Rawlings muttered.
“Well then,” Nicholas announced. “Shall we find Emma and let her know you both are still breathing?”
Much was still left to be said.
Rawlings made eye contact with Sebastian. “Later,” he said, before leaving the outskirts of the room.
Sebastian waited while Nicholas shook his head and finally in a fit of rage smashed his fist into the nearby table. “Want to tell me just what’s gotten into you, Seb? One minute you’re lying and using my cousin by marriage in the lie, which I will add I had a part in only because I saw the attraction between you two. But now I hear she doesn’t even know you want to marry her? You haven’t made your intentions clear? Is that not what tonight was all about?”
“It seems I’ve made a cake of myself,” Sebastian admitted.
“I’ll say,” Nicholas muttered alongside him.
“Do you have an idea where my future bride has run off to?”
Nicholas stopped walking. “I don’t agree with how you’ve handled things. Emma was nearly in tears when I talked with her.”
Guilt punched Sebastian hard in the gut. “She’ll know soon enough. Can you not understand I had to be certain of her feelings?”
Nicholas avoided eye contact. “Sure of her feelings or sure of yours, old friend?”
Sebastian didn’t know how to answer.
“Life has been anything but easy for Emma.”
“Yes, yes. I know all about it. Sara wrote to me of some sort of tragedy Emma went through in her earlier years. What happened? Did her horse die? Did some reckless boy poke fun at her when she challenged him to a race?”
“The full story was never mine to hear, but I would suggest you talk with Emma before the night’s end. I can’t be sure, but I do believe it has something to do with her not marrying until now.”
“I’ll discuss it with her immediately.”
Just then Sara flew around the corner. “Nicholas, have you seen Emma? I could have sworn I saw her walk over here.”
A prickly sense of fear settled over Sebastian. “Sara, you must be mistaken. Just minutes ago she was running toward the far end of the ballroom. We had a disagreement, Rawlings and I.”
“Disagreement,” Rawlings snorted as he approached them. “Sara, how can I be of service?”
Sara bit her lip and looked between all three men. “Something’s amiss. I know for certain she didn’t return to the ballroom.”
“She must have gone outside for air. She was upset when she left.”
“Of course.” Sara smiled tightly. “That explains it.”
Chapter Twenty-four
Emma awoke with a headache. With her hands tied behind her back and a gag firmly placed in her mouth, she had no choice but to continue to pretend she was still knocked out.
The smell in the air reeked of brandy and dirt.
“Drive,” the familiar voice said.
“But, sir, the horses…You cannot possibly run them through the night, they need rest, water, to be shod—”
“Don’t tell me what to do, we ride until we reach Gretna Green, do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
Emma couldn’t help the moan that escaped even though it was quiet.
“Ah, my sweet, have you awoken?”
It was an absolute nightmare. Why did that voice chill her to the bone? Most of all, her mind wondered why a complete stranger was kidnapping her.
And then he pulled the blindfold off.
And everything came rushing back to her full force.
The man looking back at her was John Crawford, Lord Rawlings’ half brother. Before, when he had been cleaned up for the ball, he had looked dashing.
Currently he wore no cravat, his shirt was opened, revealing dirty skin, and he smelled terrible. Yet the figure in front of her was more familiar than the one she had seen at the ball that day.
“Do you remember me now?” He forcefully put his hands on her body. Fighting, she turned from left to right until she thought she would flop straight out of her seat.
“Or maybe I shall do this.” Jeering, he pulled at the top of her dress.
And then she knew exactly what her mind had forced her to forget. The man sitting across from her was not just Rawlings' half brother. No, he was also the man who had ruined her life so many years ago.
The man who had almost raped her.
And he had returned to finish the job.
****
“Where is she?” Sebastian, the joyful and always calm Sebastian, felt like killing someone.
Rawlings entered the room empty-handed, a look of dread on his face. “We’ve searched everywhere. I don’t know where else to look. Perhaps she’s returned home.”
“Without her clothes? Or notifying anyone of her absence?”
Rawlings shrugged and took a seat. The man looked like he was on death’s door. They had been searching for Emma for two hours.
Nicholas entered the room, face pale, followed by Sara.
She held out a small note addressed to Rawlings. “We found this in her bed chamber.”
Sebastian watched as Rawlings slowly opened the note. He thought he would go mad with curiosity as Rawlings’ eyes grew wider and wider, until finally, with a curse, he threw the note to the floor and yelled to ready the horses.
“What did it say?” Sebastian demanded, flying across the room toward Rawlings.
“He’s taken her.”
“He?”
“My half brother, John. He’s taken her. It seems he’s in need of a little revenge and has decided to ruin her reputation once and for all.”
Sebastian looked down at the note, still not understanding. His fingers grazed the heavily marked script. The note said nothing except, “I’m finishing what I started. By this time tomorrow, we’ll be in Scotland, married, and she will be ruined.”
Shaking with rage, Sebastian grabbed Rawlings by the coat tails. “I still don’t understand, so you better help me to understand before I end your life and everything you hold dear!”
His old friend, the one who’s path was so different from his own, looked pale and lifeless as he slowly began to talk.
“Leave us,” he demanded, voice hoarse.
Everyone stepped out of the room, except Nicholas, who stood firmly by the door. Apparently he was going nowhere.
“I’ll make it fast, time is of the essence.”
“Speak,” Sebastian demanded.
Rawlings turned away and shook his head as he looked out the darkened window. “We were betrothed. I didn’t love her, how could I? I was so young at the time. My brother however was obsessed with Emma. He followed her everywhere, was constantly spying on her. I thought it harmless at the time, after all, he’d had a sad life, couldn’t inherit anything since he was the illegitimate son of my father.
“He was lucky he had food and clothing, given the occupation of his mother. Slowly, over time, I noticed subtle changes in his attitude. We were all but six before my father sent him away to live with a nurse on another estate. He
only visited us twice before he finally stopped coming.”
Sebastian sat across from where Rawlings stood and waited as patiently as he could. The horses weren’t even ready yet, so they had time for the tale.
“The first time he visited us, he had missed Father so much. He was only thirteen. He ran to Father's arms, but Father merely turned his back on him and told him he wasn’t his son. Naturally I felt terrible for him. I tried to keep him happy, but it wasn’t enough. I believe my father’s rejection drove him to do many things a man should not do.
“He visited one more time, awhile before Emma’s come out. He hadn’t seen her in years. She came for a visit with my mother. Like any young adolescent, he watched her, became even more obsessed than before. The only difference was he felt the need to prove himself to our father. He wanted to marry well and get even. Emma was the perfect target. He wanted her, so he began following her again. I thought it harmless, since he was only staying for a month or two. And then I heard screaming.”
Sebastian wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear anymore of the story.
“The horses are ready, my lord,” a servant announced from the door.
Rawlings grabbed his coat. “We’ll finish the story in the carriage. There is much left to tell.”
Sebastian had lost his ability to speak. In all of his arrogance, he hadn’t for one second believed that Emma’s story was anything as bad as this. He could see the direction it was taking and couldn’t help but feel that she wouldn’t be in the position she was in, if he would have been able to swallow his pride and offer for her rather than testing her feelings for the sake of his own fear of rejection. Facing rejection was nothing compared to facing what she was now dealing with.
****
“You won’t get away with this,” Emma said once the gag was removed from her mouth. The fight hadn’t left her, although every time she looked into John’s eyes she wanted to bathe off the dirt and shame she felt.
John sneered, “I already have. Your reputation is obviously in ruins, and now it’s stained for good. Do you think your holier-than-thou duke will desire you now? I’m surprised he wanted you in the first place, knowing your past.”
The Seduction of Sebastian St. James (House of Renwick) Page 15