by Rodi Chadish
“Elliot…” she says softly.
“You are my girl Taylor, and this is just the beginning of your birthday week surprises. Open it,” I say pushing it a little closer to her on the table.
She takes the box in her hands and slowly opens it, peeking in at first before opening it the whole way. Her grin compares the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland it’s so big as her fingers delicately touch what’s inside.
“Elliot, these must have cost a fortune!” she exclaims.
“You’re worth it cupcake,” I say leaning in closer to her across the table.
Tiny little Tiffany’s earrings in sterling silver met her eyes when she opened the small box. I'd wheeled back and forth through that store for almost an hour trying to decide on what to get her. My eyes had caught on the tiny little circular earrings, with their Roman numerals etched in them. The saleswoman had explained that they were part of the Atlas collection, which meant nothing to me but they reminded me of Taylor and her style so much that I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I had briefly hung back a moment at the engagement rings as she prepared the sale and had already picked what I would get her in the future.
“Elliot, thank you,” Taylor says, breaking me of the memory.
“You're welcome Taylor,” I say leaning across to kiss her as the song comes to an end, “there is more to do tonight, cupcake, the night is still young.”
“What else do you have up your sleeve?” she asks as I hear my name coming from somewhere past her.
Coming towards us is Meaghan, obviously tipsy as she struggles to remain steady on those dagger heels. I must look panicked because Taylor is watching me strangely.
“See Brian? I told you I saw him. I knew it was him,” she slurs getting closer, as her husband looks on embarrassed.
“Hello, Meaghan. How have you been?” I ask through clenched teeth.
She extends her left hand as if she expects me to kiss her bony knuckles, “I've been well, very well Elliot. It seems like you haven't been lonely.” she says wiggling the fingers of her left hand to show off her giant rock.
“Taylor, this is Meaghan. Meaghan, this is my girlfriend Taylor,” I snarl out.
“Nice to see you again Meaghan,” Taylor says with a little wave.
“Oh my god, you're Dave’s little sister! I couldn't figure out where I knew you from at first but now, I remember you,” Meaghan Says flailing her arms around.
“I'm Brian. Meaghan, maybe we should let them get back to their date?” Meaghan's husband says looking quite uncomfortable.
I wheel out from the table and extend my hand to him. I'm familiar with how he's feeling, having been on the receiving end of her drunken outbursts. Obviously, she hasn't changed a bit as I see her look away from me, cringing noticeably as my chair becomes visible. She’s staring pretty intensely when I look down to find Taylor’s hand resting on my thigh. I cover her hand with mine, “it was nice seeing you Meaghan, and nice to meet you, Brian, however, our night isn’t quite over yet and we should get going,” I say smirking.
“Yeah nice to meet you Brian, and good seeing you Meaghan, but I have big plans for this one later if you know what I mean…” Taylor says wagging her eyebrows suggestively at me.
I wish I could take a picture of the look on Meaghan's face when the words come flying out of Taylor's mouth like it’s nothing. My girl is wicked quick; I think as we head for the door. Despite our little interruption, I feel like our night is going pretty well and as we head off into the night for our tour, I can’t stop looking at this beautiful girl next to me.
Taylor
Whatever that heavy makeup wearing gold digging wench is, smart is not it. She left Elliot, the most genuine, wonderful, caring and perfect person I ever met. I don’t know how someone could do that and when I saw the opportunity to verbally slap her across the face, I took it. Elliot’s look of shock and enjoyment made it even better. If only he weren't so antsy to leave, we could have given her a good show; I think as I climb into the car. I would have reveled in every second of it too.
“What are you thinking about, Tay?” he asks.
“Just about shoving how awesome you are in bed in that self-absorbed bitch’s face,” I answer honestly, eliciting a chuckle from him.
“I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy that at least a little. Her face was priceless!” he says, his laugh deepening.
I’m watching him on and off as we leisurely enjoy our tour of the city, the way his eyes light up as he spouts off facts about this or that, or the way his lips form a truly genuine smile as he looks at me. It’s a very different Elliot from the one I met all those months ago. Even with seeing his ridiculous ex-fiancé tonight he’s smiling and laughing. I can only hope that when we go to court about Nathan that I can be this cool about it. I know what just thinking about him does to me, not to mention having to be in the same room as him. This has been the first time in days that I even got a reprieve from my never-ending Nathan nightmare and here I am right back in those thoughts.
“Hey, Taylor, what’s going on?” I hear him say as he curls his fingers into mine.
“I’ve just had the best time tonight, and well, I let my mind fall back to reality for a few moments…” I answer locking eyes with him.
“Don’t, not yet cupcake. Just a little longer without thinking about it,” he says softly, brushing his knuckles across my cheek.
I shiver then, the way he touches me so different than I’m used to. He easily brings me back to the moment as he turns as best he can into me, his lips crushing down on mine with a frenzy. His gentle touch has given way to his lust, and as the car rolls smoothly down the road ahead, I wonder briefly just how long this tour is going to go on.
Elliot
It almost feels normal; I think as I let my hands explore her. It’s strange really, the freedom I feel in the back of this car with her. How for just a tiny sliver of time I’m just a guy in the back of a black car with his hands all over his girl. I let my hands come to rest on her cheeks, holding her face so close to mine and I let my eyes meet hers. I want to get lost in the blue of her eyes; the deep clear irises thin in the dim light while her lids seem heavy with want. I don’t wait another moment before taking her lips hard and gentle at the same time if only I’d prepped for this. Instead, I take the opportunity to let my hands roam a little further south on the continent that is her body, finding that sweet spot under her dress. Her body arcs at my touch, and she whimpers softly, as she snuggles her face into the crook of my neck. I can feel her warm breath hitch as I caress her warmth through the thin fabric of her panties. Her nails are digging into my shoulder as I continue to drive her to the brink with just my fingers and it is the hottest damn thing I’ve ever participated in. I feel the familiar tingling rising in my body just watching her get off and I never want this night to end.
“Elliot?” I hear her calling out from down the hall.
“Kitchen,” I answer, checking the pancakes in the pan.
I flip a few before piling the finished ones on the plate, and I can feel her watching me, “Morning, cupcake.”
“How am I so lucky to have this handsome, sexy man cooking me breakfast?” she smiles when I finally turn to look at her.
“Seems to me that you hit the domesticated man jackpot,” I say laughing.
I watch her seductively walking across my kitchen, barefoot and draped in my purple shirt from last night and the thoughts enter my mind. The things pre-accident Elliot would be doing, pinning her hard against the fridge, lifting her body onto my own, laying her gently on the table and ravaging her body. These thoughts pop up a lot, and mostly I can barrel through them, but for some reason this morning I’m struggling to let them go. I turn back to the pancakes as her arms encircle my neck, and her head comes to rest on top of mine.
“How quickly you can go from smiling to sulking…” she whispers bringing her mouth to my ear.
I grunt in response, going back to flipping pancakes. My body, well the w
orking parts are responding to her touch and yet as I draw my eyes down, nothing. Not even a twitch.
“Taylor, if I don’t pay attention to these we are going to be eating burnt discus’,” I say flatly, angered by the lacking response.
“Turn it off…” she says, refusing to back off.
I shrug her arms off and lean forward some to try and create some space, but she follows, and my irritation grows. The mixed signals are only adding to the frustration I’m feeling at not being able just to be… a man…
“Fine Elliot, if that is how you want to end that amazing night and start our day, then fine,” she says, finally backing away.
I instantly regret the ignorance I’ve thrown at her and now not only am I angry at the situation but also at myself. I watch her disappear behind the wall, and the last glimpse I have of her is the skin of her butt cheek. Jesus, she was naked under my shirt, I think. I flip the burner to off and move the pan to a cool burner before racing down the hallway after her. Nearly wrecking into the door to the bedroom I’m surprised to find it closed and I know that I’ve pissed her off.
“Tay,” I say, softly, hesitating to open the door.
“Yeah, I know, Elliot, I know you’re sorry, that it’s hard… or not hard, I know but god you practically gave me whiplash in there,” she says.
My jaw nearly cracks I’m clenching my teeth so hard at her words about my dick, and its lack of proper sexual etiquette. She’s never gone that far before and while my vision clouds with red I’m trying hard not to explode. I decide to remain on this side of the door because I know that if I cross that threshold, I won’t be able to control my mouth or temper long enough to stop her from walking out on me.
Twenty - four
Taylor
His fingers squeeze a little tighter as he rolls my nipple between them, his thumb is pressing with just enough pressure… I’m nearly to that euphoric state when he stops. Whipping my head up to figure out just what happened I find him peeking up at me, his eyes so full of lust that I can't believe he's pushed pause. We've been at this for almost two hours and I almost don't know what's gotten into him. It’s been two days since our night out, and our immense blowout the following morning. I’d never gone that far, never even realized I could go that far with him until the words were out and all I could hear on the other side of the door was his breathing between his teeth grinding together. I honestly thought for a few minutes that that was it, we were done. How could I have been so foolish to think that calling out his dick was a good idea? Well as bad as that was, the argument that followed wasn’t any better. The door had remained closed while we screamed through it, all of our frustrations coming to light and as tight lipped as I usually remained about his insecurities that morning I couldn’t find the lid to the “Elliot’s hang ups that bother me” jar anywhere.
I pulled out all the stops as I called him out about it all. “Why can’t you just understand that it doesn’t matter to me that you can’t fuck me standing up, that you can’t throw me around, or pound into me like a train. Jesus Elliot, get the fuck over it, I’m with you, I love you and our freaking sex life is god damned near perfect. Don’t you see that? Why can’t you see that? How can you be so intelligent and still so freaking dumb? I know how arroused you are, I see the way your eyes change, or the tone of your voice changes. I fucking see that, I don’t need you to have a damn hard on to prove how much I turn you on” Yeah, I said those things. Those true but hurtful things among others as I sat cross legged on his bed waiting for the door to open.
It never did open though, at least not for a long while and before he cracked it open his dirty laundry came flying right back at me. “Why the hell would you ever want to be with me, with half of a man? I mean is it because I don’t threaten you? Because I can’t fucking chase you down and the potential to hurt you is almost none? Why didn’t I see that before, you parade around in almost nothing, knowing that you have the upper hand, that I can’t act on my desire that is so fucking strong by the way. I can’t do anything about it without taking a fucking pill to make my dick hard and then still it’s up to you to do the god damned work? You just want to be in control and you are Taylor, god, you don’t know what I want to do to you and yes, I do want to fucking pin your tight little ass to the wall and have my way with you… I want to see my body respond to you, it’s not normal to not be able to see how you affect me. I’d be walking around with a hard on for days at a time if I was able because every time I look at you I think about what I’d do to your hot body and it kills me that I can’t do it. Jesus. How did I not realize before now that you are probably only with me because I’m no threat. I’m at your mercy. And, and now I’m dragging my whole family into your fucked-up mess… I’m walking on eggshells trying to keep you from shutting down.” Yep, those words flew at me faster than I would have ever thought possible. It was our first knock down screaming match and we both went for the knock out.
I didn’t expect him to be the one to open the door but when he did, it broke my heart. The tears in his eyes, the broken expression on his face mirroring my own damn near split me in half. Half that wanted to go to him and comfort him and half that still wanted to strangle him. I was sure he was feeling the same at what had just happened, but still he broke first. He pushed that door open but refused to come into the room. His hand rubbed back and forth along his thigh and the muscles in his jaw tightened repeatedly before he finally spoke.
“I’m sorry…” he said so softly that I could barely hear him.
“No,” I answered back.
His eyes lift from the floor to look at me, red rimmed and puffy, searching me for a sign of something.
“I can’t believe I just said those things, Tay, I didn’t mean any of it. I was just trying to hurt you, and I knew that it would. I couldn’t stop myself…” he says, still rubbing away at that thigh.
“Obviously we needed to get those things out in the open, Elliot. I'm sorry you are being dragged into my mess but I never once asked you for this. Not. Once. So please don't try and put that on me. You, however, don't give yourself enough credit. I knew what I was getting into when we started this and as much as I hate seeing you hurting, I don't mind the chair, or the fact that you have to do things differently. Have I ever once acted like it bothered me? Have I ever not enjoyed an intimate experience with you? No, and the hang ups you have, they are your own. I don't know what that's like but I wish you could see yourself through my eyes for a change. I don't know what I could do differently to show you just how amazing you are, I really don't. You can’t even fathom just how threatening you are to my heart Elliot, I've never cared for, or cared about someone like I do you and that fact alone scares me more than some asshole who could physically hurt me. Don't think for a second that I want to control this situation because I'm acting like a woman with her hot boyfriend. Chair or no chair, I'd still parade around you wearing next to nothing because you let me be comfortable in my own skin. You make me feel like the sexiest woman on the damn planet the way you look at me,” I spit back fast, before he can stop me.
His attention comes back to me is unwavering as I lay here back arching allowing myself to be taken. His hands bring me back to the present and he gets back to it and the pleasure I feel is so intense, I've never experienced anything quite as exhilarating as this. I don't know if it's the fact that I love this man more than I've ever loved anyone or if it's because he is just that good of a lover. I just know that I don't ever want it to stop.
“Cupcake… Taylor?” I vaguely hear his voice, “you okay?”
“Huh? Yeah…” I respond, still quivering when I finally am able to form a thought.
I feel his hands on my body caressing and teasing still as I emerge from a pleasure coma.
“Wow. Just… wow,” I manage to muster as I feel the bed dip down beside me.
He doesn't say a word as he plops his butt down where his hand was as I slowly climb further onto his big bed to make room for him. I watch a
s he situates himself against the leather headboard, making quick work to straighten his legs when he catches me watching. His brown eyes become dark, and I know I’ve blown this moment. This wonderful night we’ve been having and here I am unable to take that back. He looks away then, and my heart drops into my stomach as the sigh escapes his lips. I watch as he replays something in his mind, I can’t be sure what it is but I’m wondering if it’s the fight two days ago.
Elliot
As much as the words that escaped her beautiful lips hurt me, she was right. These were my issues, not hers. Nothing she said was untrue, not one word of it and the fact that she knew some of my secrets floored me and before I knew it I was throwing daggers right back at her and they were sharp. Even as they flowed from my mind I knew I’d gone too far. My response was to intentionally hurt her and god was I ever sorry for it after. I tried to wait it out, the silence on the other side of my bedroom door deafening. I couldn’t though, I couldn’t stand the fact that I’d said the spiteful horrible things in the first place. When I couldn’t take it for another second I slowly pushed the handle down and with a small push the door moved open. I had never been more afraid of what I’d find before me and I couldn’t bring myself to look, I simply muttered an apology, a feeble attempt to make peace. She shot me down quick with a simple “No” but I tried again, this time explaining that I did intentionally try to hurt her. Why lie about it, I did it. I listened to her as she again called me out, this time a little less harshly.
“Taylor,” I start but stop as I have nothing more to say to refute my outburst.