by Rodi Chadish
While I've been working on not living in a constant state of fear, Elliot has been more than I could ever ask for. Together we’ve been getting through this and his ability to love me despite the messed-up world I live in amazes me every day.
Elliot
I’m watching her, the look on her face as she reluctantly hands over my new niece and while thoughts of this kind of life with her scares some parts of me, those other parts are screaming at me to get the proverbial show on the road. I know the last few months haven’t been easy on her, hell the last ten years of her life have been completely fucked up, but regardless I don’t know how long I’ll be able to wait to truly make her mine. I finally feel like myself, like I’ve been holding my breath for these exact moments to fall into place so that I could be who I was supposed to be. Sure, every day there is a constant reminder that the way I envisioned my life isn’t going to be how I imagine but this life, Taylor, it’s more than I could have ever hoped for. At the height of her personal hell, I thought maybe she wouldn’t come back from this, but watching her with my mother really showed me how strong she is. She’s the strongest person I know and every day she just continues to get stronger, it’s amazing.
“Hey, El, your turn,” Ethan says breaking me from my thoughts.
“It’s okay, Mark can go first,” I say quickly.
Before I can protest any further though the pink bundle is in my arms, tiny and warm, and I get so caught up in those tiny features that I’m lost in them for I don’t even know how long. This little snoring peanut is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen, let alone gotten to hold. I can’t take my eyes off of her and the room around us kind of disappears. Named loosely after both my mother and sister, Emerson Helene Turner has no idea just how loved she will be. As boneheaded as Ethan is he sure did make a gorgeous kid.
“What are you over there chuckling about?” I hear from across the room.
“Just thinking how amazing it is that you helped create this perfect baby, I mean how did that happen? Beccs, are you sure you weren’t artificially inseminated?” I shoot back.
“Elliot!” my Mother says cuffing the back of my head.
“Ma, I’ve got precious cargo here…” I say as everyone laughs.
“I want to hold her now, come on, uncle Elliot no hogging the nugget!” Alex nearly screams.
“Come on up here kiddo,” Becca says patting the bed in front of her.
Briefly, I wonder how I’m going to wheel across to them, or if someone is just going to take Emerson from me. No one moves to take her though as the room becomes quiet as they witness my internal struggle. Working out the logistics in my head I’m not sure if this is going to go well and I sure as hell hope someone is paying attention. I reposition her head on my knees, her body lengthwise so that her feet are against my stomach. Slowly I move forward and to my surprise, it works and I pass her off to Becca with the biggest grin I can muster at having made it work.
“Geez, y’all, did you think I was gonna drop her?” I ask, beaming.
Once upon a time I would have passed her off to someone else without a second thought but this time, this moment, there is a feeling of need so great that I almost can’t bear it. I want this, I want what they have, and I want it with Taylor. I can only hope that she wants it too. Every day I have to tell myself that it’s not the right time or the right moment, or that it’s still too soon to propose. That other little blue box is hidden under the seat of my motorcycle just waiting for the right moment. It’s been there for weeks now and I have no doubt in my mind that it’s what I want. I want her to be ready, though, I want her to want it too.
“Ethan, come on, I got you out of the house to help us, can you at least make an effort?” I yell as I’m wheeling past him with three boxes stacked precariously on my lap.
“I’ve taken out like six more trips than you…” he shrugs.
Taylor finally gave into moving in with me about a month after Emerson was born and here we are moving the stuff out of her apartment, well what she has packed. She’s the worst when it comes to this I’ve found out. I just shake my head as I go past her in a fit of indecisiveness. She has literally pulled the same three things out of the same box three different times while we have been filling our trucks with what she has decided was going. For the small space that she called home she sure had a lot of stuff and when we showed up this morning ready to haul, I had to laugh because she only had four boxes done. Since we’ve been here distracting her though it’s gone a little quicker.
“Taylor, when can we take the furniture to storage?” I ask stopping to grab a big box by the couch.
“No! Not that one…” she squeals causing me to almost let it drop with a thud.
“It’s closed, I’m taking it,” I laugh.
“No, I’m taking that one in my trunk, hands off mister,” she says shimmying between me and the box.
“Okay, okay!” I say holding my hands up before pulling her into my lap.
“We have work to do, Elliot,” She says breaking the kiss and climbing from me.
“If you say so, maybe we can run these boxes to the house, and then come back for a furniture run while you keep plugging away here?” I ask.
“Okay, but I mean it, that box stays, let me get you the keys,” she says disappearing into the other room as Ethan plops down on her couch.
“Dude, we haven’t even started on the big stuff yet,” I smirk.
“This is the most physical exertion I’ve had in while. Your niece keeps me up almost all night, I’m exhausted!” he whines.
“Suck it up buttercup!” Taylor laughs as she plops the keys onto his stomach.
“I think you’ve been spending too much time with this jerk, Taylor,” he jokes.
“Let’s go, wimpy,” I say on my way out the door.
Three cases of beer, four pizzas and countless trips from her apartment to my house, Taylor and Jenna had her almost unpacked while Mark Alex and I played Mario kart. I don’t know what they were doing upstairs but I could hear the laughing from time to time. I loved that she fit so well with my family and that they really took an interest in her as well. The look on my mother’s face when I told her that she was moving in was priceless. I swear she had to wipe tears from her eyes. I’m sure that after all I’d put them through, they maybe doubted that I’d ever have this with someone, let alone someone as great as Taylor. Sometimes I even wondered if it was a dream.
Taylor
As I carried the mystery box upstairs, the final piece of my moving puzzle, I thought about how this was home now. Funny thing is it felt like that like this was where I was supposed to be. Jenna helped me turn one of the guestrooms into a work-space while the boys played video games. Ethan had been summoned home just as the last load was being carried inside earlier, but not before he grabbed a box of pizza and case of beer and bolted. He really did most of the work today, as far as the heavy lifting went. Even with the whining, he did it was fun to have them all around for the momentous occasion. I swear I even heard him comment on how he thought he’d never see the day that Elliot would let a woman move into his house. I’d been practically living here for months, though, I hadn’t been ready until now to give up my own space.
Twenty - seven
Taylor
“Please let me help with the dishes,” Becca asked.
“Nope, this is our dinner and everyone is a guest tonight. We really wanted to give everyone a break,” I answer, pulling out a barstool so she can at least sit with me while I work.
“You know, he’s still got her in there…” Becca says softly.
“In case you haven’t noticed, he’s in love…” I chuckle, thinking about how Elliot has barely put Emerson down all day.
“Have you guys talked about all that stuff yet?” she asks quietly.
“Yes, and no. I know that we both want kids…” I answer.
“He was never like this with Alex, something is different about him,” she comments as both Jenna
and Helen enter the kitchen.
“Becca, will you please tell Elliot that he can’t hog her all night?” Helen laughs, but I can see the twinkle in her eye watching him from the doorway.
“Hey, I don’t care who the baby hog is, as long as I get a break,” she jokes.
Jenna goes right into the fridge and pulls out the berry tarts I made and starts to set it all out on the table.
“Jenna, I can get that, I’m almost done here,” I scold.
“Taylor, you won’t let us do anything and it’s freaking us out,” she says with a smile.
Wheeling into the mix, Elliot pipes up, “Tay, please keep them busy, they keep hovering around and standing in front of the game.”
“You’re just afraid that they are going to take her off of you if they continue to remain idle, I’m on to you buddy!” I tease.
“Elliot give me my granddaughter!” Helen says reaching around to try and snatch Emerson from him.
“Alright, alright! I surrender!” he says lifting the squirming little girl from his lap.
I watched him all day with her, his face bright and full of joy. It’s amazing that this is the same man who nearly bit my head off in a Starbucks parking lot. As soon as that little girl is anywhere near him he becomes mesmerized, it’s incredible to see. They all see it too, the complete turnaround he’s made over the last months. He still has bad days, days where I can tell he wants to just throw in the towel, but he keeps getting up in the morning, keeps pushing forward. I often find myself in awe of him, I know that some days for me, my demons creep out and it’s hard to just move ahead, so seeing him succeed gives me hope that one day I won’t look over my shoulder so much.
“Taylor? Earth to Taylor?” Elliot says softly.
“Huh, oh, what?” I answer with a laugh.
“Where were you just then?” he asks.
“Just thinking…” I respond, leaning down to kiss him.
“Thought I smelled something burning!” Ethan says from behind us, breaking up our kiss.
Before I can even get a word out, Elliot reaches for the sprayer on the faucet and nails him in the chest with the water.
“Oh, it’s on…” Ethan replies, wringing out his now soaked shirt.
While I’m pinned behind Elliot at the sink, I watch as Jenna, Becca and Helen quickly make their way out of the kitchen and whatever is about to happen.
“Taylor, get out of there!” Jenna yells with a laugh, as I try and dodge an orange that was intended for Elliot.
“You asked for it, now little brother…” Elliot says as he swipes the towel from the dishrack.
“Please, I’ve got you both cornered, what are you going to do about it?” Ethan taunts.
“Leave Taylor out of it, she didn’t do anything,” Elliot says trying to give me an out.
Little do they know I have two cans of whipped cream sitting next to the sink, and if I time it just right I think that I can get both of them at once as I sneak out. I’m watching, just waiting for an opportunity as they stare each other down. Suddenly, Elliot pushes forward and tries to snap Ethan with the wet towel, only to have him catch it and yank him even closer. Just as they are about to tug of war over the towel I reach around and pop the caps off the whipped cream, only briefly thinking about having to clean up the mess I’m about to make. They have turned from tug of war now to smacking each other and I see my opening as they move to the right. I quickly dash forward shaking both cans before I press the nozzles into action.
“Cornered? Not even close Ethan!” I yell as I successfully slide past them, covering them in the whipped cream as I go.
Becca is howling with laughter as Helen just shakes her head. Once I’m clear I turn to look at them, what a sight they are dripping with whipped cream both stunned into stillness. I don’t think they even knew what happened. I nearly double over with laughter as Everett and Mark join in the group of us watching them.
“Do I even want to know?” Everett asks with a chuckle.
Ethan and Elliot are just watching us, watching them and then without warning I’m being lifted over Ethan’s shoulder as he darts out of the house with me. I’m squirming and still shooting the whipped cream at him as he launches me into the pool. I stay under for a minute because I can only hope that Elliot didn’t think to get the cold hose, it’s what I would do. When I slowly come up for air, I’m cringing, waiting for their next move.
“Cupcake, you okay?” Elliot says sneakily as I look around at the trail of whipped cream down the porch.
“I’m good, nice night for a swim, don’t you think?” I answer, not willing to give them the satisfaction.
I finally spot him and the dreaded hose, but Ethan is nowhere in sight. Taking what may be the only chance I get I put everything I have into a huge splash and douse Elliot, the look on his face is priceless as I’m blasted with the hose.
“Ha!” Ethan hoots coming from behind Elliot.
Next thing I know Mark is shoving Ethan into the pool and Elliot turns the hose on him this time. I’m still laughing as I finally climb out and catch the towel Becca tossed me, still not daring to get too close. I high five Mark as I make my way back into the house.
“Oh, Taylor, they will always gang up on you…” Jenna says with a smile.
“Yeah, I thought they might, but it was worth it to see them covered in whipped cream, right?” I remark.
“Definitely!” she answers.
Elliot
As I’m wheeling down the hallway I can’t help but think that this is the most alive I’ve seen Taylor in a long time. The genuine laughter and brilliant smile on her face when she doused us stopped me in my tracks. I had to compose myself after that because it’s been so long since I’ve seen it. I knock softly on the bedroom door and when she says come in I enter.
“I started to change and then I realized I have whipped cream in my hair,” she says with a pout.
“You really thought you had us there didn’t you?” I ask.
“No, but it sure was fun,” she smiles before climbing onto my lap.
I softly brush the wet strands from her face and tuck them behind her ear as her arms circle my neck, “You’re sticky!” she says trying to pull away.
“And whose fault is that?” I say holding her tight so she can’t pull away.
“I know, you need a shower…” she breathes.
“So, do you,” I say as I feel her tongue on my neck now.
“So, sweet,” she says with another lick.
“Tay, everyone is still here…” I manage to get out before a groan escapes my lips at her teasing.
“I know…” she answers not letting up.
All sorts of ideas are swirling through my head as I wheel her closer to the bed and pop my brakes, “Get up there…”
“No…” she defies me, taking my hand and guiding my fingers to her sweet spot.
The heat radiating from her core warms my hand immediately as I rub. Finally, I look at her and she knows just what I’m after. Peeling the wet jeans and panties off she climbs back onto my lap, this time straddling me, leaning back against the bed. I offer her a smirk, as my fingers toy with her sensitivity. I try and lift her so my mouth can get in on the action but she resists.
“Tay, come on…” I nearly beg as I bury my fingers deeper.
“Not right now…” she breathes heavy.
“Just a little taste?” I whimper.
“We have to go back out there at some point, and I’d like to keep a little dignity, El,” she says writhing against my calloused hand.
“They won’t know…” I try.
“Yes, they will, I’m sure they already know what’s going on in here,” she says nearly out of breath.
Finally, as she collapses into me, I wheel us both toward the shower. She looks at me strangely for a moment then as I come to a stop. This is something we haven’t done yet, I don’t often let her into this part of my life and I’m sure she’s a little baffled, even in her current state of bl
iss. Nudging her forward some I peel my own wet shirt off, careful not to bash into her. She is watching me now, her fingers do a little dance over my chest, and slowly find that line. That amazing line that can provide such a distraction. It takes everything in me to still those soft hands, but like she said we have company, and I didn’t anticipate this. As quickly as she started she’s off my lap and lifting her soaked shirt over her head revealing her beautiful body. No matter how many times I see her getting naked it always feels like the first time. Wordlessly she looks at me, then begins to unbutton my pants. I lift up and with a tug, she pulls them down along with my boxers. While part of me is a little disappointed that nothing popped up to greet her I have to chalk it up to just another aspect of life that I can’t control. Despite my lack of enthusiasm down under, she doesn’t falter for a second and before I can gather my thoughts her lips are crashing down on mine with such intensity I’m nervous for a moment that she’s going to tip us. Before wrapping my arms around her I pop my brakes so we aren’t wheeling around the bathroom. I revel in the feeling of her lips on mine and her breasts pushing into my chest and when she suddenly breaks her contact I shiver.
“You’re killing me…” I say my hands on her hips trying to bring her back.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself, but we really need to get back out there…” she says climbing gracefully off of me.
With a pout, I watch her for a second before I reluctantly move to turn the water on. What I think will be awkward actually ends up being pretty damn great. My self-consciousness falls away as we hurry to get cleaned up and back out to our company. The sexual tension between us has to be visible because with each glance, each little touch the rest of the evening there is an electricity. The seductive way she looks at me, or the subtle brush of her fingertips along the back of my neck as she passes by me are driving me more insane with each passing second and I can’t wait for this game to be over. I can barely think straight long enough to answer a few questions with more than a one-word answer. All I can think about is how I’m going to ravage her hot little body as soon as my family is gone. I excuse myself briefly and sneak into my bathroom for a little “pick me up” with only three minutes left in the game and return and start clearing the snack bowls.