by Rodi Chadish
“It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen,” I say unable to take my eyes off of my hand.
He’s watching me with a smile as I assume the position. You know the position, hand out, fingers flexed, in complete and utter amazement that you have this delicate piece of jewelry on your finger.
“I’m glad you like it…” he says with a hint of relief.
“You could have given me a 25-cent machine ring and I would have loved that too,” I answer still staring at the diamond.
He gets my attention as he moves to transfer onto the bed. I scoot myself over as I feel the mattress dip when his weight crosses onto it, and I watch. I’ve missed watching him, the way his body moves, or doesn’t in some cases. I’ve missed everything about him and it doesn’t hit me just how much until I’m snuggled up using his arm as a pillow. I bring my hand to his chest and we both watch my fingers do the familiar dance, except now there is a shiny new bauble dancing along with them.
Elliot
In my mind, I’m doing backflips at hearing her say yes. I’ve waited for this moment longer than I should have and I know it was my own doing. I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t be able to love her as much if things hadn’t gone just the way they did. Emma used to say that everything happens for a reason, and I use to laugh at her. I don’t think I really ever understood her words until I had to give up everything to search for myself. I’ll never be a perfect person, no one is after all but the person I am with her is who I was meant to be.
I’m lying here after some incredibly mind-blowing makeup/just engaged sex and I’m watching her trace circles on my chest and I can’t believe she’s mine. Her delicate fingers wind their way up to my face and she rolls over so she’s staring at me.
“You are my everything, you know that right?” I say, sounding as sappy as I feel in the moment.
“Ditto…” she says with a small smile as her fingers trace each of the scars on my face.
The newest of the bunch tingles a bit as she runs her finger across it, but the others, they are like distant memories.
“Are these from your accident?” she asks softly, the fingers of her right hand behind my ear on my chin.
“Yep… even with the helmet, I managed to get a few dings,” I answer, wondering silently what made her ask.
“They’re hot…” she says with a smirk.
“I’m a badass, what can I say,” I laugh.
“My badass,” she winks at me before she moves in and nips my ear.
Four days later
I’m still on my mother's shit list, but she’s starting to come around especially after she took me back home to have my cast removed today. It was a silent trip that we were pretty much both forced into but my father knew what he was doing. When we pulled back into the beach house I stopped her from getting out of the car and I spoke my peace. It was my only chance at getting her alone long enough to do it. I know it made a difference because instead of taking the stairs like she did when we left, she rides up with me in the elevator giving my shoulder a squeeze before she gets off. I watch as Alex nearly bowls her over to get to me begging me to get in the pool with him now.
I’m lounging in the pool watching them. My family. Every person I care about is here splashing laughing and genuinely enjoying life and I couldn’t imagine it any more incredible. Taylor arriving early was the best surprise I could have gotten. The fact that she stuck it out while I sorted through my crap amazes me every time I think about it. Watching her with Alex I catch the glare off of her ring and for once I’m not nervous or scared or angry about anything. It’s not something I’m used to.
Epilogue
Elliot
There have been ups, and there have been downs in our lives but nothing quite as important as the last two years. I never thought in a million years I’d be happy again. I never thought to get there I’d have to hurt more than I ever had. It was worth every solitary second of the misery that was sprinkled with the hope of what was to come. I can’t say that we will always be happy, I hope it’s the case but I have to have some sort of reality check from time to time or I’d lose sight of where we’ve been. I’m waiting for her, pretty unusual as she’s usually the one waiting on me but this, I’d wait for this forever if I had to. We’ve been apart for two whole days and that alone has been enough to drive me out of my mind.
I can see my mother and the tears she’s wiping away as she takes in the scene around us. Pale pink dresses start coming towards me and as my heart rises up in my chest I can barely hold it together. Finally, as Alex pulls Emmerson on the antique tricycle down the aisle I feel my throat catch. It’s only going to be a few seconds before she comes into view and I can already feel the tears pooling in my eyes. All the guests turn and gasp as she comes into view and I take that as my cue to stand. With some finagling, we’ve managed to make this work with a standing frame and when I finally look up I can’t stop those tears from flowing down my face. My everything is concentrating on the path ahead of her, her gorgeous brown hair flowing softly around her face, and then she raises her eyes to meet mine for the first time on dry land. She stops dead, Dave nearly pulling her over. Her hand covers her mouth in surprise and it is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen her. Her ivory dress is beyond amazing and she is the image of perfection. I can’t believe I get to spend my life with her.
It took a lot to get us here and as she’s walking towards me I can’t help but think of the almost endings to our story. Each one only made our bond stronger, cemented the fact that we were willing to put in the work to make a life together. I can’t imagine my life with anyone else, I wouldn’t want to fight this hard for anyone but her. And I’ve fought, through my demons, through hers, through our shared concerns and it was more than worth it. It has been two years of working to get us here and now that we are finally here I feel like I can let out the breath I’ve been holding.
She wipes the tears from her eyes as she steps up beside me, looking up into my eyes I know that I will always do whatever it takes to make her happy. “Hey,” she says shyly.
I swipe at the tears in my own eyes before taking her hands in mine, “You are absolutely stunning…”
“I aim to please,” she says with the wry smile I love so much, “Been holding out on me, I see.”
Before I can comment the guests sit and Mark starts the ceremony. We wrote our own vows and decided to keep it simple. I chose a Richard Bach quote that I found particularly fitting:
A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise."
Her response blew me away:
I promise to challenge you to be everything I know you can be, to never be trapped in despair, to always help you see in yourself what I see in you, my amazing man, my husband, for whom I will always love. I knew early on that whatever time I got to spend with you would never be enough, and I chose to leap anyways, leap from that ledge and perch myself there with you on yours.
With no real issues, it goes off without a hitch and while we sit in the club room of the country club garden house after, I can’t stop staring at my wife. My wife. It has a nice ring to it. It was her choice to wait a while before we got hitched, if it had been up to me we’d have been married before we left the beach. I didn’t push her though, wanting to make sure she knew just what it was that she was getting herself into. I’m not perfect, nor will I ever be but I am so undeniably in love with this woman that I’ll do whatever it takes to give her the life she deserves. Even if it means trusting and believing her when she tells me I’m good enough.
That was a big issue in the beginning and to this day still something I struggle with but it’s getting easier each day. She reminds me
that no one is perfect and if we start searching for that perfection, we lose the brilliance in the imperfections. She’s right, which is almost all the time. I don’t know how I got so set on living in this perfect world, being this ideal person, it just happened one day and it consumed me. It ate away at everything that was good in my life for so long that I didn’t really know how to believe that it was okay that I wasn’t perfect. In fact, I’m more damaged than most, and in this moment, and most moments over the past three years it’s okay.
Taylor
I almost couldn’t stay upright. When I looked to see his reaction, and I had to lift my gaze, and found him standing, it was more than I could have ever asked for. I know it was rigged, planned and not how he would have imagined it but it was one of those magical moments I’ll tell our grandkids about. I’m so stunned I can barely get my vows out, the tears running down his face weren’t helping either. The kiss, you know “you may now kiss the bride” part, well not only did he take full advantage of his height, but he twirled me around before the guests when he finished. A grand show for our grand entrance into married life, I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I loved every second of it but I would have loved it either way, I think as I nestle into his chest while taking up residence on his lap. It’s one of my favorite places.
I’m still in awe that I get to call this beautiful human being my husband, and soon I’ll get to give him the best gift ever. I’ve been waiting for two weeks, two long agonizing weeks full of wedding stress on top of it. His eyes haven’t gotten dark at all in the last hour and I love the soft brown whiskey color they remain when he is content. I didn’t realize how infrequently I got to see them that way for a long time and then one day I started to notice the darkness less and less. He was changing, he was finally happy in his own space in the world, finally the person he was meant to be. It hasn’t always been easy and that is part of what makes our love so enormous, we’ve seen the worst of each other and didn’t run screaming the other way.
His hand is lightly stroking my back as we sit here just enjoying a moment alone when I feel the excitement build so strongly that I don’t think I’ll be able to wait any longer, damn hormones.
“El?” I half ask, half state.
“Yes, wife?” he says with the perfect lopsided grin I love so much.
“I want to give you your gift now…” I answer.
“I thought we already did that?” he asks, looking at me strange.
“We did exchange gifts but I have something else for you… I’ll be right back,” I say climbing from his lap.
When I turn to see his reaction he’s just shaking his head. I wonder if the thought is even crossing his mind as I dig through one of the many bags I’ve brought to find the small package.
“You didn’t have to get me anything else Tay,” he says softly.
“I think you’ll want this,” I say as I move to stand.
I slowly walk towards him, the long, small package behind my back and when I get close enough I hold it out for him. Watching as he turns it over and over in his hands I can only imagine what he thinks it is.
“A new pen?” he teases as he pulls slowly at the bow.
“Keep it up and I’ll take it back…” I joke.
Finally, he’s opening the box and I’m watching for his reaction, “Turn it over,”
Realization hits him as he reads the inscription on the back of the watch, “Serious?” he asks like a child on Christmas morning.
“It worked…” I offer, unable to hide my tears of joy.
“So, what you’re saying is the procedure worked...we are...you are…” he stammers as the grin from before returns only this time it is as bright as the sun.
“Yep, March 15th is the due date…” I respond nearly jumping into his lap.
It wasn’t the first time we tried and it wouldn’t have been the last either. It didn’t matter to us that we weren’t married, we wanted kids, and we knew it wasn’t going to be an easy process from our first attempts. We started about six months after he proposed, realizing early on that it wasn’t going to happen the old-fashioned way. It was hard, hard on me, hard on him, and getting our hopes up each time was the worst. The last time though, something felt different, I felt different. When I took a test two weeks ago I was terrified that it was a cruel joke, the universes way of toying with us. Two pink lines though on six different tests and a confirmatory test at the doctor’s office confirmed it. This time it worked.
He was still struggling to find words when Ethan came barging in, “Dude, some of us are getting hungry… they won’t serve more appetizers until you guys come out…”
“We will be out in about five minutes Ethan,” I said because Elliot was still sitting there in a stupor.
“What’s the matter with him?” he asked.
“We...we are… she’s...I’m going to be a dad!” he finally managed as he squeezed me and planted a big kiss on my forehead.
“Bout time. When is the little punk due?” he asked, looking as excited as the day Emmerson was born.
“March 15th,” I answered.
“Cool, only a few weeks after… uh… after the superbowl,” he said looking guilty.
“After the superbowl?” we both questioned him in unison.
“Listen, Beccs is pregnant too, we just haven’t said anything yet. Please don’t tell her I told you??” he begged.
I watched the two of them exchange looks of awe before finally I climbed from his lap again. As much as I wanted this to stay ours for just a little longer I knew that before the night was over everyone in attendance would know. Ethan could not, and most likely would not be able to keep his big trap shut. In all my thinking, I didn’t even realize that Ethan was gone and Elliot was sitting there rubbing his calloused finger along the inscription over and over,
Love is…
New beginnings and holding the whole world in your arms…
Nine months till we start our new beginning, Daddy
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Always just a beginner of stories until this one, Rodi prefers the late-night hours for writing. Constantly befuddled by her felines strange night time behavior the amusement never ends during those late-night writing jaunts. Occasionally writing during the day she is bombarded with requests to play Monopoly Jr, and watch as her Peanut puts on shows. An avid reader and healthcare professional she loves music and is constantly coming up with ideas from snippets of songs, however most go unwritten.
acknowledgements
To my family and friends, I will never be able to show the love I have for you all. You all know who you are and what you mean to me… I love you all so much and you’ll find bits and pieces of each and every one of you in everything I do!! To my work girls, your fodder and advice through my crazy days and nights was always the best, I’ll see you in the morning!!!
Thank you to Annie who read the first part of this book in its most horrible form and pushed this nerdy chicken to actually finish a story for once. You’ve created a monster.
Thanks to all the readers who followed these two characters before I even knew I was going to publish, your comments and feedback really were the best.