He looked surprisingly good—rested and clean—which wasn’t always guaranteed for the two of them lately. No, it was more than that. He looked good. The wound under his eye was healing into a visible scar that made his otherwise flawless face more interesting. He looked older, to be sure, but it suited him.
“Thanks for coming with me.”
“I literally have nothing else to do.”
“Glad to see you’re still an asshole.” She was glad she had called him.
Hunter adjusted the seat with a smile.
“We have ten minutes before we have to get to the ferry. You want coffee?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Kat pulled up in front of Island Beans and put the car in Park. She left Hunter to scroll through his phone from the passenger seat.
The windows of the hot little coffee shop were steamed up, so Kat couldn’t see what she was getting into until the door shut loudly behind her, and everyone inside turned her way.
And there, sitting across from one another at a small table in the center of the room, were Sean and Ashley. They were as startled as she was and as obviously reluctant to have this encounter, but the room was too small to avoid it.
Kat approached their table. “Hey, guys.”
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“What’s the occasion?” She wasn’t sure how else to ask why the fuck they were sitting there together.
“Nothing really.” Ashley was trying to be cute and it didn’t look good on her. “Just a lazy Saturday.”
Kat kept her eyes on Sean. “Yeah, lazy Saturday.”
A barista shouted something from behind the counter and Ashley said, “Oh, that’s us!”
Us.
Sean didn’t move, so Ashley went to fetch their drinks, leaving Kat standing above Sean at the table.
“You’re avoiding me,” she said.
“I’m not, I swear. I’m just taking some time.” Sean watched Ashley sprinkle something into a cup from across the room. “And this is just...I don’t know, she kept asking to go out for coffee so I finally just agreed. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not about you.”
“Well, have you figured out if she’s still pursuing...the thing she was pursuing?” Kat asked with a whisper.
Sean shook his head. “It hasn’t come up. I don’t know, Kat.”
The shop door jingled with the arrival of more customers and a gust of wind held it wide-open for three seconds, just long enough for Sean to see the parked car outside.
“Is that Hunter sitting in my mom’s car?”
Kat really didn’t want him to see Hunter. She didn’t want him to see anything that might set their chances of reconciliation back even an inch. She needed to do something.
“Do you want to go to Hyannis?”
“What?”
“I’m going to pick up some shelves for your mom. I needed some help, and you were avoiding me, so I had to ask Hunter. We’ll just be gone for a few hours.”
Kat didn’t really want to go to Cape Cod with Sean and Hunter. She could hardly imagine anything more awkward, in fact, but she needed to extend the offer to prove that Hunter’s presence was nothing more than desperation on her part. He was just muscle.
But now it looked like Sean was seriously considering the offer. He probably wanted to call her bluff. That was the cynical reading of the situation. She’d love to believe that he just wanted to make things normal between the three of them again and forgive Kat for everything, but the likelihood of that seemed slim.
Ashley returned with two drinks in hand. “So, what are we talking about?”
“I think I’m going to have to take this with me,” Sean said, standing up. “I have to go to Hyannis.”
Ashley’s face fell, and then recovered. “You want a third wheel?”
Jesus, this girl was persistent. Didn’t she have any pride?
“Actually, it would be a fourth,” Sean said. “Hunter’s coming.”
Why he said this, Kat would never know.
They watched Ashley’s eyes widen and her mood change to pure saccharine. She was as fake happy as she could be. “Fun! I’m totally coming.”
Kat looked around, but there was no one to save her. What the hell was happening? She scanned quickly through every possible option at that moment. If she walked out and drove away with Hunter, Sean would be suspicious and they’d never get back together. If they took Sean, it would be awkward, but not dangerous. They couldn’t take Ashley. They needed to get rid of eager, probing, desperate Ashley. But if the three of them went without Ashley, wouldn’t that be proof to her crazy little brain that they were hiding something about Kyle? Wouldn’t that make her more suspicious? Kat’s head was spinning.
Sean looked almost as pained as she felt. He must have been thinking the same thing about Ashley. If they were going to keep their secret safe, it might actually be better to take her, to prove that they were all just normal friends doing normal things, with nothing at all to hide.
“Sure, lemme grab our coffees,” Kat said.
Ashley smiled at Sean, who was pretending to focus on the tiny wording on his disposable cup.
Kat bought two coffees, dumped some cream into each and led them out to the car. She could see Hunter’s face change as they approached.
“New plan,” she announced, sliding into the driver’s seat. “We’ve got two more.”
Hunter gave her a what-the-fuck look, and Kat shook her head helplessly.
Miserable Sean and cheerful Ashley took the back seat.
Hunter turned around to acknowledge them and then sank back into his seat.
They drove silently toward the ferry terminal where a man in a Steamship Authority snowsuit directed them to the car queue. There, the four passengers sat for two long minutes in silence until the line started to move, and they were finally driving onto the massive barge as it prepared for sea.
The moment the car stopped on the ferry, Hunter opened the door and walked away from them, through the tight maze of parked vehicles, to the staircase that led to the upper deck. Sean followed him, and then Ashley.
Kat sat in the quiet car, trying to parse the events of the previous ten minutes. She wanted to go back to the part when it was just Hunter and her being mutually grumpy and genuinely comfortable in the car. No, that’s not right. She wanted Sean back. This could still be an opportunity to prove her disinterest in Hunter to Sean. But Ashley. Ashley did not need to be there. Her presence would keep them all on their toes. And no one seemed more annoyed by her than Sean, so why was he with her at all? Kat suspected he liked the attention, though he’d never admit such a thing.
She didn’t want to look like she was hiding, so Kat got out of the car and walked up the metal staircase to the main floor of the ferry.
At the center of the room was the sad diner-style vendor that sells hot dogs, microwave egg sandwiches and coffee. Hunter, Sean and Ashley were lined up on stools drinking little bottles of cheap wine.
Hunter slid an individual-sized white zinfandel toward Kat, who picked it up and placed it in front of Ashley. She wanted a drink badly enough to know that if she had one, she’d want three, and she couldn’t have three. So Ashley could have it.
Ashley looked genuinely grateful for this gesture, despite the fact that it meant nothing at all. She was so glad to be there with the three of them. Too glad. This was going to be a horrible trip.
The ferry took just over an hour, as always, but it felt longer to Kat. The other three had another round of little wines, which seemed to take a slight edge off the awkwardness for the drinkers. Ashley may have been the primary source of the awkwardness, but she was also pretty helpful in mitigating it. No one wanted to talk much, so she filled the space with a thorough description of her PhD thesis, which was inarguably impressive. Kat was reminded of her initial
impression of this bright, ambitious young woman. She almost understood the appeal for Hunter and Sean, who had each been, at some point, eager to sleep with her.
About halfway through the second round of wines—which had no discernable effect on the guys—Ashley started leaning into Sean, touching his hand and trying to catch his eye. Sean wasn’t reciprocating, but neither was he rebuffing her efforts. Hunter raised his brows at Kat, who responded with the subtlest nod of acknowledgment. Sean was embarrassed. Everyone was. With every flirtatious gesture, Ashley would watch Kat and Hunter. She was trying to evoke jealousy in one of them, maybe both.
Hunter attempted to order another drink just as the ferry inched into port.
“Forget it,” Kat snapped at the man behind the counter.
No one argued with her.
They all headed back down to the car.
It was a ten-minute drive from the ferry to the woodworker’s home deep in the woods. Hunter kept the music in the car up loud to avoid any conversational pressure. Rolling Stones, James Taylor, Bonnie Raitt...a steady flow of inoffensive nostalgic sounds filled the air until, finally, Orla’s wagon pulled up to a charmingly dilapidated home at the end of a long dirt lane.
“This is it?” Ashley asked.
“This is Orla’s woodworker friend, yeah.” Kat couldn’t mask her disdain for this woman any longer. The trip had been okay so far, but Ashley’s unmitigated cheer was maddeningly inappropriate. And Sean’s eagerness to fake sleep, which ultimately turned into real sleep, only compounded her anger. Kat tried to remind herself that she was, at the very least, throwing Ashley off the scent of their involvement in Kyle’s death by taking her along for this painfully mundane chore. So maybe it wasn’t wasted time in the end.
Hunter got out of the car. “It doesn’t look like anyone’s home.”
Kat followed. “This guy never leaves. I’m sure he’s home.”
“Did you call him?”
She glared back at Hunter over the hood of the car. Kat had not called the woodworker. She didn’t know when she woke up this morning that she would be sent on this errand and that, along the way, she’d be forced to take her ex-boyfriend (or whatever he was) and her ex-boyfriend’s deranged admirer who was also Hunter’s scorned lover. So no, she forgot to call the fucking woodworker.
Kat threw her hands up and walked to the front door with Hunter two steps behind her. They knocked over and over, then walked around the house to the back, crunching through old, undisturbed snow along the way. She was alone with Hunter again and she felt like she could breathe.
“I can’t believe you brought them,” Hunter snarled.
“Me, either, but I had no choice.” Kat jumped up on her tiptoes and tried to see in the windows of the dark house. There was definitely no one home.
“It’s like you want to get caught,” he said. “We shouldn’t be this close to her. She’s fishing for something.” Hunter rubbed his arms. They weren’t wearing coats and the temperature had dropped significantly.
“What? I’m doing the opposite of that. I’m bringing her in. Wasn’t that why we decided you should keep dating her...to keep an eye on her? How’s that plan going, by the way?”
“I think that’s Sean’s job now.”
Kat glared at him.
“I’m sorry. Forget I said that. And don’t worry, Sean doesn’t want her, either. That’s obvious.”
It was nice of him to say, but it wasn’t precisely what she wanted to hear. She wasn’t sure what she wanted.
“What’s going on?” a voice yelled.
Kat and Hunter jumped.
It was Ashley, coming around the corner of the house. “Is this guy home or not?” She stood twenty feet from where they’d been talking, in a thin shirt and winter hat. Neither of them had heard her approach.
Sean came up behind Ashley, looking pissed off. “Great trip, guys! Thanks for bringing us. Let’s get out of here.”
Kat tried to stay calm. “Yeah, sorry. This is my fault. Obviously. I guess we should head back if we’re going to catch the last ferry.”
What had Ashley heard? She didn’t think they’d said anything too specific, but she really wasn’t sure.
“I want to know what you guys were doing back here,” Ashley teased.
Sean looked at each of them. He had the same suspicious look on his face as that night he’d caught them arguing in Kat’s apartment.
“We were trying the door,” Hunter said with an exaggerated tone. He hated this girl. “C’mon. Let’s go.”
Hunter stomped toward the car and Kat followed. It felt suddenly like teams were forming among them, which was potentially dangerous.
Kat gripped the wheel with both hands as they pulled out of the driveway.
“You should have called first,” Sean said from the back.
Hunter spun around. “What?”
“I said she should have called first. I don’t understand why we came all the way out here.” Sean was mad, but not about the stupid shelves.
Kat could feel the anger rising up in her throat as she drove. It was coming too fast to stop it. “I don’t understand it, either, Sean! Why are you guys here?” She tried to keep her eyes on the road.
For a minute, no one spoke.
“Why is she here?” Hunter said under his breath, and everyone knew who he meant.
This was the only invitation Ashley needed to join the conversation. “Oh, does my presence make you uncomfortable, Hunter? Does it remind you of what a dick you are? Or maybe you’re jealous...”
Kat looked at Sean through the rearview mirror. She thought he would jump in and clarify his relationship to Ashley, but he didn’t.
“Everyone here knows what’s going on with you two,” Ashley went on.
Hunter scoffed.
“We already told you,” Kat started.
“You are lying!” Ashley yelled. And then she went quiet again. “I think you’re lying about a lot of things.”
For five whole minutes, no one talked. Local public radio droned in the background while Ashley watched all three of them squirm. She was right. They were lying. And now, Kat, Hunter and Sean were afraid of her.
“I need food,” Kat said finally. She didn’t want to spend one more second in the car with this group, but she hadn’t eaten all day and she was starting to feel weak. Kat had lost six pounds since the night on Hunter’s boat and was experiencing dizzy spells with increasing frequency. She’d never been fragile, but in the past few weeks it seemed like her body was breaking down.
“I could use a drink,” Sean said.
Hunter nodded in agreement.
It was dark outside, but not late. The next (and last) ferry was at seven, so they’d have to kill time somehow.
Kat drove for six more miles and then stopped at the first restaurant they saw. And because this was Hyannis, the first place they saw was a white-tablecloth, clinking-crystal, farm-to-table affair where the entrées started at thirty dollars.
* * *
“Well, this is romantic,” Hunter quipped from behind his menu.
Ashley smiled and ignored the sarcasm. She put a hand on Sean’s thigh, and he let it stay there. They were looking at each other in a new way. Kat wondered whether it was actual affection or they were just trying to fuck with her.
“We’ll have two bottles of the Grüner,” Hunter said before the waiter got a word in. “And a couple of bread baskets or something.”
No one objected. Kat hoped he was paying, but she didn’t ask.
A bread basket appeared and Kat slowly devoured several pieces, like someone who hadn’t seen real food in a very long time. As she ate, and while the other three studied their menus with the focus of people who really didn’t want to talk to each other, Kat watched the bartender across the room. He was a fit guy in his fifties with white hair and a han
dsome face. He chatted with waitresses while polishing the glossy countertop and filling occasional orders. Kat could tell he was the sort of person his coworkers wanted to be around. They kept coming back. She wondered if Kyle might have been a bartender like that if he’d had the opportunity to age into it. Or if he had other plans entirely and bartending was just a necessary stepping-stone to those plans.
It would be nice to believe that we all died doing the thing that defined us, after we’d arrived at the life we wanted, but that was probably almost never the case. If Kat had died ten years earlier, what would her legacy have been? Here lies a scrappy kid with an unsure future—that’s what her gravestone would have said. It wasn’t like she’d become the president of the United States, but she’d found something that felt worth doing. She’d discovered her purpose in that time, which Kyle never got to do.
The wine arrived and Hunter went through the excruciating process of sniffing and tasting because the waiter seemed intent on doing this by the book. And then, finally, there was alcohol in four glasses and they all drank.
They drank and they drank. As the driver, Kat went slow, but the others did not. And then one bottle was empty and they were deep into the next.
After a while, Sean scratched his beard and stretched back in his chair. “So why was Hunter coming on this trip in the first place,” he asked with a casual, snide confidence.
“I told you, Sean, for the lifting. I needed help.”
“Right, for the lifting,” he repeated.
“Well, no harm done,” Ashley said, nuzzling into Sean’s arm.
The waiter appeared and they ordered food, and something red to follow the white. The kitchen was taking longer than usual—that’s what the waiter warned—but they cared less about the food now that the wine was flowing. Hunter asked Sean about the boatyard and Sean provided a terse answer. Ashley interjected with praises for Sean and polite follow-up questions. Kat smiled at the appropriate times and watched the kitchen door like a hawk. Everyone—even Ashley—was faking, navigating around the multitude of secrets and resentments between them. They were just biding time until the food appeared or they were too drunk to care.
And that’s how they came to miss the last ferry. In all the seething chitchat and wine refills, forty minutes passed before the waiter finally appeared with their food. Kat looked down at her watch just as the hot plates were placed before them and realized the time.
Everything That Follows Page 19