“And what about that one over there?” I ask, pointing to a star on Zeke’s PPS.
“That’s Gamma Crux, which has a magnitude of 1.6 and is a class M3 star that is two hundred twenty light-years away.”
“So we’re going to a planet that is just a mere three hundred seventy light-years away?”
“Yes, only three hundred seventy light-years away! One more thing: Nicolaus and I are very good friends. We’ve been together since around 1543, when he physically died.”
I swallow. “Whew.”
Ezekial pauses momentarily. “He’s a little sensitive to the whole time traveler concept, okay? Let’s just talk more about his present projects and avoid revisiting the past. I think it embarrasses it him.” He shoots me a stern look. “Listen, Michael, Nicolaus is a brave and proud man who completely revolutionized our world’s view of astronomy. He stood strong against the conservatives who felt that our planet was the center of the universe. A little respect is appropriate!”
“Okay… got it. I promise.”
“You’d better!” Zeke chides. “Besides, if you misbehave, he’ll turn you into a Brazilian horned frog!”
“No way!”
“Don’t laugh! Coppy’s done it before. You’ll be sucking insects the rest of your life if you aren’t careful!” He pauses. “Besides, you owe the man something fierce.”
CHAPTER 18
July 5, 2378
1:13:32
Lost in the Garden of Eden
Said we’re lost in the garden of Eden
And there’s no one’s gonna believe this …
But, we’re lost in the Garden of Eden
This fire is burnin’ and it’s out of control
It’s not a problem you can stop
It’s rock n’ roll
Suck on that!
—Guns n’ Roses (ancient band)
As Ezekial lowers our space rocket toward a soft landing in a well-manicured circular area, I can’t help but notice a quiet rain is falling in some places but not others, kinda like it’s coming from a cloud sprinkler system. I also notice it doesn’t have people, high-rises, or ugly smoky fumes rising into the air like giant serpents. I’m sure there weren’t any nukes, and probably no underground bunkers. I see no giant screens with neon lights, and no electrical lines sprawling over the countryside. So what did I actually see? A pastoral land with fruit orchards, hanging plants, and a few peaceful animals lounging on the green grass. Below I observe a singular man surrounded by what appears to be a group of humanoids, irrigating the fertile land. Our landing is so soft I feel as if we are on one of those high-tech helicopters.
Ezekial looks like a kid at Xmas. His smile is ear to ear as he flies down the stairs of our ship. During our brief journey, Ezekial appears to me to be a singular man on a mission. Zeke’s hands are open, palms up, circularly waving to his friend.
“Is that really Copernicus?” I inquire.
“The one and only!”
Bizarre, isn’t it? The only thing that I know about Copernicus is that he was my father’s idol. Why? Because he stood by his beliefs. I generally don’t remember quotations, but my daddy, good ole Dr. Strangelove, did teach me this one: “To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.” Anyway, my only insta-info, provided compliments of my eyeglasses, came in books. As I descended from our craft, I was struck with many aromatic smells. Actually, the word “aromatic” is derived from the Greek “aromatikos,” meaning “sweet spices.” The entirety of the area was filled with the smell of fragrant, honeyed spices.
I watch a robotlike drone shoot a few high-tech arrows into the surrounding clouds. To my amazement, rain immediately commences to fall. But it isn’t a transparent water; it actually has a light blue tint to it. Then I see a thin shirtless man wearing what appears to be a baseball cap with the letter C on it.
I don’t think Copernicus knew the definition of “capitulate,” so it had to stand for something else. What do you think?
Zeke moves toward him. The two old warriors embrace. I hear Zeke say, “How are you, my friend?” As I begin walking toward them, I hear the man I assume to be Copernicus say, “It’s been way too long, Ezekial.”
Zeke pats Copernicus on the back. “Time circles, my friend; you knew I’d be back!”
I wonder if the C on his hat stands for “crystal.” After all, my dad was looking for some sort of crystalline material in Giza.
Copernicus’s eyes flash over to me. His smile reflects an all-knowing knowledge, as if we have met before. “Is this a little Eisenstein?” he says, approaching me with open arms. I nervously embrace the legend—the centuries-old icon. Something happens. It is as if a force field of unknown character cloaks me like a soft blanket. I not only embrace this man of unquestionable brilliance, but I’m now enveloped in his energy.
It’s like my entire body is shot with an electron storm swarming with activity and cosmic energy. I actually hear electrons smashing against each other like bees inside of me.
But here he is, in the flesh. Copernicus appears like a diminutive version of my Uncle Irving—the crazy one! He boasts a Hemingway beard; the elfish curmudgeon flashes his cunning eyes. I’m mesmerized by him already. But it’s his slightly worn blue hat that I like the most.
“Does the C stand for ‘Copernicus’?”
Amused, Nicolaus replies, “Well, not really. Actually it stands for the Chicago Cubs.”
“You’ve got be kidding me!” I ejaculate, still peering at him as if he is part of some odd cosmic force.
“Chicago Cubs?” I whisper meekly. “Aren’t they a defunct team from the twenty-first century?”
Ezekial shakes his head. “Michael knows everything from his mother. She loves what Michael refers to as ancient history.”
“That’s all right,” remarks Copernicus. “I became a fan when I was discussing issues with your great-to-the-fifth-power grandfather, Simon Eisenstein. Si was a big Cubs fan. We spent many a day at Wrigley, watching games and talking about scientific theories. If I recall, they had a great third baseman at the time. He used to pulverize the ball. He hit it so hard, I thought he was going to split the atom into a million pieces.
No shit! I thought, wondering whether Copernicus could read minds like Zeke. “Sounds like a hoot!” I blurt out, sounding like a seventh grader with a man crush.
“I’m still waiting for them to win the series. Any luck?” Coppy guffaws, smiling cagily.
“They did it!” I respond.
Copernicus nods. “Wonders never cease! Let’s grab some lunch over by the Plato Pavilion; I’m not watering the gardens for right now—at least over there.
“That’s one way to keep everyone alive,” says Zeke.
Copernicus smiles craftily. “Well, it is a memorial. Plato’s spirit lived on for a few thousand years before his soul finally gave out. Actually, I miss Aristocles very much!”
Suddenly a curvaceous young female approaches us, waving her hands. “Meet Maura!” Coppy announces.
Ezekial and I stare at the exotic-looking sprite sauntering toward us. Like two mute teenagers, our jaws drop and our tongues vacate our mouths, for we’re truly speechless.
“She is now my wife!” Copernicus says almost matter-of-factly.
In case you’re interested, Maura looks like a cross between a beautiful ancient nymph called Marilyn Monroe with a booty the size of Kim Kardashian’s.
“We met, we married, and now we’re living together on this beautiful planet!” Coppy states happily as he turns toward me.
“Well, congratulations!” Zeke announces.
“Yes congrats, but is there enough room for both of you now that the planet’s population has doubled?” I say.
Both Maura and Copernicus laugh wholeheartedly. “I don’t know,” Maura jests, obviously amuse
d by the comment. Perhaps we should increase it even more.”
Copernicus seems taken aback by the statement, guffawing at such a prospect. An awkward silence ensues before he adds, “I think I’m quite comfortable with just Maura for right now. Besides, we have many children: the flowers, the bushes, the trees, and the birds.”
“They’re all God’s children,” I quip.
“No, actually they’re all my children.”
I clear my throat. “I see.” I was truly hoping Copernicus couldn’t read minds, because all I could think was, Is this guy for real?
“Every one of them has some combination of my genetic makeup,” Copernicus states. “Once evolution enters into it, some highly interesting nuances may develop. Even emotions like love, passion, hate, and lust are all possible.”
After a short, uncomfortable silence, Copernicus suggests that we take a guided tour of his property. I can’t help but notice that his gardens are beyond beautiful, for each of them has a theme. Apparently Copernicus attempts to grow his gardens the way that Da Vinci might draw them. Da Vinci went well beyond expectations when he graphically exposed the human body using three-dimensional shapes highlighted by unique shadows and diverse hues of light, I muse.
“Yes, Michael, I believe they called that ‘chiaroscuro,’ the art of stunning and sometimes bizarre dissections of the human body.” I gulp, realizing that Copernicus’s talents go well beyond the obvious.
“This garden is noted for its sheer beauty and happiness, and lots of color! In fact, every color in the rainbow is represented, as well as hybrids. I’ve also genetically manipulated them so that individual flowers can have various colors, shapes, and sizes.”
“What about intelligence?” Zeke inquires.
“These particular flowers are too beautiful to burden them with too many thoughts. I keep them pure. We can enjoy them for their sheer beauty.”
We move on.
“Let’s take this remote path,” Copernicus coaxes. We stroll on until we observe two trees leaning on each other. However, there is an open area, allowing the sun to peer through the branches. Beyond that point, I glimpse what appears to be wildflowers, growing freely in the orchard.
“This area is somewhat experimental,” Copernicus offers. I’ve given most of this area extensive creativity and soul.”
We stop in our tracks.
“Soul?” I ask.
Copernicus beams, taking off his Cubs hat momentarily. Then he stares at the Con the brim. “Soul is part of any existence that allows for immortality. Our bodies are physical, yet our souls live on. Such intangibles as love, patience, and loyalty are products of our higher self; we live for our loyalties—don’t we?”
“So do you have experience with creating reincarnation?” I inquire.
I see Zeke offer a dismissive hand movement toward Copernicus. What the hell does that mean? I wonder. Copernicus just nods and changes the subject.
What just happened? Something happened.
“These wildflowers all have the most important element of what we like to refer to as living,” Copernicus says.
I gaze at Ezekial, who seems immersed in thought as well.
“These flowers don’t adhere to group think, as do so many of the species that exist in this universe. They live for beauty and creativity. Their only desire is to be little pathfinders, exploring new roads and new relationships with each other, themselves, and of course G_d.” Coppy places his hat back on the crown of his head, smiling. “Life is a quest, with someone steering it at the helm.
As we stroll on, I note the blue rain as it falls, stopping in some areas and then commencing in other areas.
My mind is still reeling in confusion, wondering what Copernicus meant by his reluctance to talk about reincarnation. Something’s up.
“You’re wondering about the rain,” Copernicus finally reveals as he readjusts his Cubs hat. “I like to wear it backward—you know, just like Griffey Jr.!”
Zeke and I smile.
“It’s pretty elementary,” Copernicus divulges. “Actually, I shoot sugar into the clouds, which acts as sort of a silver iodide, which of course is part of the process. Basically, hurtling this chemical into the clouds causes rain, which I regulate for forty-five-minute durations. Some of the shrubs necessitate around-the-hour sprinkling.
Ezekial appears to be in deep thought. “Something tells me there’s a lot more.”
I peer at Copernicus, wondering what else is up Coppy’s sleeve.
Copernicus kneels down, whispering to a very cute African daisy. He also hums a little song to an Australian amaryllis lily.
Zeke and I snicker as we reach down, mirroring Copernicus’s technique.
“Is there anything scientific about your Cubs hat? You know, like climatology! Universal! Baffling!” It is my turn to smile cagily.
Coppy studies me as if I have just hit the jackpot. For a moment, it appears that I actually made him question something. The man pauses slightly. I’m sure he is having an in-spirit moment!
“Yes, I’ve programmed them for patience. Loyalty is already a foregone conclusion.”
We continue our stroll. I notice how many of the plants seemed to lean in toward Copernicus as he walks past them. Not only that, but there is a small flock of birds, oddly of different species, that appears to be following us. Even stranger is that when they land on Copernicus, he talks to them as if he is having an intimate conversation. Coppy even laughs on a few occasions. Copernicus makes comments like “Sure your feathers are brilliant” and “Yes, I do like your friend, Robin. He’s very nice!”
I think that Zeke is somehow in on the joke, because he merely appears amused and continues walking, as if this strange behavior is completely and utterly common. Have you ever felt that something is going on and it’s just you who’s out of it? Anyway, we take a turn in the direction of another orchard. The most beautiful plants seem to reach out to me—unique yellowish-blue hanging plants and reddish flowers with strange markings of green, white, and even purple seemed to smile and then blush. There are bushes cloaked in yellow; more significantly, there are diminutive abusi trees.
“Yes,” Coppy utters, turning a sympathetic eye to this group. “They’re placed in psychophysical diagonal patch areas where they can talk. It’s kind of like group therapy. Do you see that little ginkgo tree? She’s been damaged. Honestly, I’m not sure exactly what happened to her, but she’s very lonely. She feels isolated. Her name is Gale.” Coppy fiddles with his hat. “The other trees have tried to help her, but so far she has resisted, poor thing! Why don’t you touch one?”
“Is it okay?” I ask.
Copernicus smiles. “Gently,” he says. “You can pet them if you want, but be careful! A few of them get their feelings hurt quite easily.”
I catch a quick glance from Ezekial. He shrugs.
As I reach down, I witness a plant with bluish-purple flowers lean in. Even odder, a few of the other flowers, plants, and, of course, trees huddle in as well; it appears to me that the flowers sort of blink in and out, flashing what almost seem to be cute smiles.
What the heck? I muse in befuddlement. I place my hand on one of the flowers, touching the top of one’s head ever so softly. The reddish-purple plant leans in, appearing to enjoy my petting as well.
“She likes you, Michael. She thinks you’re cute!” Coppy laughs heartily.
With that, I quickly withdraw my hands.
“Don’t be afraid, Michael. All of the plants and, of course, animals on my planet share something with us.”
“Which is?” I ask, rather squeamishly.
Copernicus’s smile is rather reserved; he appears to be fascinated with my response. “These plants have the wonderful qualities of intelligence, perception, feelings, and consciousness. Honestly, on a somewhat limited level, they are no different than you and me!”
I stop dead in my tracks. I try to mask the random thought Is this guy nuts?
“Are you saying that they are people?” I finally exclaim.
Copernicus reaches over his right shoulder, petting a beautiful, smart finch resting comfortably there. “This finch is a gray-hooded sierra finch. She’s very smart. Her name is Fiona. Fiona has been filling me in on the dietary habits of some of the other birds. I guess she feels that they are not being fed enough.”
I glance over at Zeke. Then I stare at a very self-satisfied Fiona.
“No, I’m not saying that, I’m certainly not saying they are people. A few of them are way too sophisticated for that species. Why? Because so-called people—and by that I’m assuming you mean people such as yourself, and perhaps me are all the same … However, I’m no longer genetically the same as you at this point.” Copernicus states.
“Excuse me?” I say.
“Well, Michael, I’ve genetically improved myself over the years. My DNA is no longer exactly the same as that of anyone in the human species; nor is my ability to use telekinesis or telecommunication, or my ability to increase telepathy. Actually, over the years, I’ve changed my genetic composition over ten thousand ways to reach the level of evolution that I possess today.”
Suddenly it seems to get hotter. I began to feel a little faint.
“Let’s move over here.” Coppy says, pointing to a shady area. “You see, Michael, this is a tier-three planet. On my planet, I can control heat, rain—well, actually, all of the elements that make a planet more livable.”
Ezekial pats me on the back. “Did you really think a scientist like our friend Copernicus would stay static over the last twelve hundred years?”
“Guess not,” I say softly. I try to block my rather natural thinking patterns, wondering what direction Copernicus is going to take with his new creations.
Luckily, Copernicus appears preoccupied, as he speaks softly to a pretty hybrid cardinal resting on his shoulder. “Do you mind flying over there, Glenn? This is a private conversation.”
I watch as the yellow bird flies toward its friends on a neighboring tree.
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