by L. P. Dover
I stepped out of Grayson’s hold and turned around. Grayson Moore was part owner of the bar, and a close friend of mine. Only now, he was more than just a friend. “Whose idea was this?”
He ran a hand through his auburn hair and bit his lip. “Mine and your sister’s. We thought it’d cheer you up. You’ve seemed a bit sad here lately.”
I laughed. “I’m fine, I swear. But if there’s not a red velvet cake somewhere in this restaurant, I won’t be.”
He chuckled. “We can’t celebrate your birthday without one, now can we?” He kissed me and held me in his arms. I felt safe when I was with him. Being close to him was what got me through the last few months. “Your cake is in the kitchen. For now, I gotta go. I have a line of people wanting drinks.” He kissed my cheek and sauntered off.
For the most part, he stuck to the bar during our busy hours, and the rest of the time, he would be in the kitchen helping the chefs. I watched him walk away, grateful I had someone who loved me. It wasn’t that I was miserable, just not as happy as I could be. There was a part of me that said I needed more, which made me feel greedy.
“Happy birthday,” Kate announced. I turned around and she held out her arms. “This is your last year in the twenties! Better enjoy it before your vagina shrivels up.”
I hugged her and sighed. “Tell me about it. I’m almost twenty-nine years old, and not married. All of my friends have kids already.”
A sad smile spread across her lips. “As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. And speaking of kids, Zachary’s been asking for you. I think he misses his Aunt Lara.” She strolled over to Cooper, who had Zachary on his shoulders as he talked to some of the other guys.
Zachary giggled and clapped his hands until he saw his mother drawing near. He reached for her and Cooper let him go. I loved my Zachary. I spent a lot of nights babysitting him, so Kate and Cooper could spend some time together. Plus, it helped they were my neighbors. I could see him anytime I wanted.
Kate brought Zachary over and he held out his arms. “There’s my boy,” I said to him, kissing his chubby cheeks and squeezing him. “I’ve missed you so much. Auntie Lara’s going to take some time off soon so I can visit you. We’ll kick mommy and daddy out of the house and have a party.”
Summer walked up with Emma-Grace in her arms. “Uh-oh. Sounds like trouble now.”
My niece reached for me and Summer placed her on my other hip. Zachary looked just like Kate, with his blond hair; and Emma-Grace was the exact image of Summer. I guess you could say she looked like me as well. There’d been many times while I was out with her and everyone thought she was mine.
I kissed Emma-Grace’s cheeks and she giggled. “You can join the party too, princess,” I told her. “Maybe I can keep you both in a couple of weeks. It’ll be a tiny-tot sleepover.”
“Sounds good to me,” Kate agreed.
Summer nodded. “Me too.”
“Everyone, can I have your attention, please,” Grayson shouted.
I jerked around and looked up at him; he was standing on the bar. I gasped. “What the hell is he doing?” Kate smiled and took Zachary out of my arms, as Summer did the same with Emma-Grace.
“Looks like he wants to make a speech,” Summer said with a wink.
Heart racing, I stared up at him and he met my gaze. My stomach was in knots, and even more so when he beckoned me to join him with a wave of his hand. “Babe, can you come up here for a minute?”
Everyone moved out of the way, their faces beaming, as if they knew something I didn’t. I had a feeling of what he was going to do, but prayed it was just a birthday speech and nothing else.
“Go,” Summer whispered, nudging me in the back.
I walked forward, my palms growing sweatier by the second. When I got up to the bar, Grayson held out his hand to help me up. “Please tell me I don’t have to dance like the girls in Coyote Ugly,” I grumbled.
“Hell no,” he laughed. “No one gets to see that but me.”
The crowd whistled and I tried to play along by smiling, but all I wanted to do was run away. Taking his hand, I stepped up on one of the bar stools and joined him. “What are you doing?”
He squeezed my hand. “Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”
Time seemed to move still, especially when he got down on one knee. Gasps erupted from the crowd, while I stood there frozen. There would be no way out of this without destroying him in front of everyone we knew.
“As many of you know,” he stated, focusing on our friends, “Lara and I have been together for a year now. We not only share this restaurant, but she shares my heart. I love her more than anything, and that’s why I wanted you all to be here when I ask her this one, very important question.” Blowing out a shaky breath, he looked back up at me.
I swallowed hard, wishing with all my might it wasn’t the question I knew he was going to ask. Why does this have to happen right now? I was going to pass out, right there, in front of God and everyone.
“Lara Madelyn Jacobs, I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I want us to take the next step together.” He pulled a ring out from his pocket and held it up to me. “Please say you’ll make me the happiest man on this earth and be my wife.”
The room erupted in cheers and my vision tunneled. I looked around and Summer had tears in her eyes, while Kate jumped up and down, her smile wide and excited. They all approved of Grayson; they loved him. He was a good man, one who’d treated me with such care from day one. Being with him was a blessing, but I didn’t return the same affection. All I knew was, I couldn’t hurt him. Not here, not now.
Grayson squeezed my hand, drawing me back to him. “What do you say?” he asked.
There was only one answer I could give. “Yes,” I whispered, hoping he couldn’t hear the sadness in my tone. “The answer’s yes.”
Jumping to his feet, he lifted me in his arms and I squeezed my eyes shut. Champagne bottles were opened and everyone passed around glasses, toasting to our future. “I love you, Lara.”
Evan caught my gaze and I held my breath. Out of everyone celebrating, he was the only one who wasn’t cheering. It was as if he could see right through me, down to my soul. I had no doubt he was going to tell Luke about the engagement, and deep down, I wanted it to rip Luke apart. The only problem was, it tormented me as much as it would him. Turning my head, I couldn’t stomach the look in Evan’s eyes. All I wanted was for the night to end.
“I love you too,” was all I could say.
All fucking night, I waited to hear something from Evan. I was hoping he’d find a way for me to get to Lara, but he didn’t. That could only mean one thing . . . he didn’t see Lara’s sadness. I should’ve done what I was going to do in the first place and demand for Lara to listen to me. I was done being nice. If she was truly over me, I wanted her to say it to my face.
“Dude, let’s go,” Chance shouted.
Huffing, I looked over and nodded. His bike roared to life and I put mine in gear. Zane Putnam, our trainer, started the clock and we watched it count down. I tried to concentrate on my riding and the feel of the dirt bike beneath me. When I rode, it was like an extension of my body; I didn’t have to think. But lately, my concentration was lacking. Zane could see it, and he wasn’t happy.
The lights on the countdown clock blared red and slowly moved down to the yellow. The second I saw green, I took off. Chance and I were neck and neck, grinding each other into the turns and flying through the air on the jumps. Anger coursed through my veins and I ran my bike hard. All I could think about was Lara and Grayson, and their happily ever after wedding. I hated Grayson from the very beginning. I knew he was in love with Lara long before she even thought twice about him. And of course, it had to be that ass clown who was there for her when I fucked up.
“Faster, Collins!” Zane shouted as I raced past him.
Chance flew past me and I pushed my bike even harder. The engine screamed and I knew I should back off, but I couldn�
��t let Chance win. The last and final jump approached and I headed toward it, full throttle. Chance glanced back before he soared through the jump, with me close on his heels. I revved the engine again and once I was in the air, it snapped so loud it echoed.
“Fuck,” I growled, landing hard on the track. The bike slowly came to a halt, smoke billowing out from all sides.
Arms raised angrily in the air, Zane rushed toward me. “Dammit, Collins, you blew the top end. Why the hell were you running it so hard?”
Chance rode up beside me and took off his helmet. “What the fuck was that? You were sloppy as hell out there.”
Zane snapped his fingers and I got off the bike so he could take a look at it. Shrugging, I ripped off my helmet. I wanted to tell them both to fuck off, but it wasn’t their fault. “I just didn’t have it today.”
Zane pointed at me. “You better get your shit straight, Collins. Races start back up in a few weeks and I need you in the game. Whatever’s going on with you, get it handled, now.” Cursing under his breath, he wheeled my bike into the back of his trailer and left.
Huffing, I marched over to the garage and grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator. I held one out to Chance.
He nodded and reached for it. I opened mine up and guzzled it down while Chance grabbed a seat. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
“Not really,” I snapped.
He chuckled. “Ah, I see. It’s her again, isn’t it? I thought by now you’d have moved on.”
Teeth clenched tight, I threw my bottle in the trash. “She’s getting married.” I glared over at him. “And there’s not a goddamn thing I can do.”
Chance finished his beer and sighed. “Then you gotta move on, bro. Let her go and join the land of the living again. We need you to be at the top of your game for these races.”
“Have I ever let our team down?” I may have been practicing like shit, but it was rare if I lost a race.
Chance shook his head and slapped a hand on my shoulder. “No, but there’s always a first time. What you need is something to distract you. I’m having a party at my house this weekend. Why don’t you come?”
I’d tried finding things, and women, to distract me, yet nothing worked. “Sounds good,” I said, knowing I’d have a shitty time no matter what. “I’ll be there.”
“Hell yeah,” he exclaimed. “You’ll have a good time, I promise. But now, my ass is headed home. We’ve done enough training for today.”
We shook hands and then he wheeled his bike into my garage before leaving. Since Chance and I were teammates, we practiced together on a regular basis. Both of us had motocross tracks in our backyards and today was the day for us to practice at mine.
A car door slammed and it wasn’t long before Evan walked around back.
“Thanks for calling me back last night,” I hissed.
Evan sighed and nodded his head. “I know you’re mad, but hear me out.”
I scoffed. “Why should I? Out of all my friends, you’re the one who knows me best. You know I love Lara and that I’m sorry for being a jackass.” Jerking the refrigerator door open, I grabbed another beer. “After all this time, she still thinks I was fucking around on her, when in all honesty, I was just scared.” I opened my beer and sucked it back, laughing at how karma had finally bit me in the ass. He was the only person in the world besides Lara who I would’ve ever admitted that too. “Now I’m too late.”
Evan cleared his throat and glanced at his watch. “Are you done whining yet?”
“Fuck you, Townsend.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I didn’t come here for that.”
My jaw hurt from clenching it so tight. “Look, if you’re here to shoot the shit, I’m not in the mood. With your inability to call me last night, I think I got the hint.” Averting my gaze, I gulped down the rest of my beer. “So when’s the wedding?”
“Not sure, but judging what I saw, I doubt there will be one.”
I jerked my head in his direction. “What do you mean?”
Evan approached me cautiously, concern etched across his face. “I’m sorry for not calling you last night, I had a lot on my mind. Mainly the fact I think you’re right. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”
For the first time in months, I felt a sliver of hope. “Tell me everything.”
Sighing, he looked off into the distance. “I watched her, like you asked. I don’t know, maybe I’ve seen it going on for a while now . . . but she’s not the same Lara I met a couple years ago. She doesn’t smile as much and when she does, it’s forced. I’ve tried to joke back and forth with her and she doesn’t reciprocate like she used to.”
That was one of the things I loved about Lara. She had a mouth on her and could always put me in my place. She was stubborn, with a heart of gold. “What about last night? Did Grayson propose?” The thought of her saying yes made me goddamn furious, but if I still had a chance, I didn’t care if she was engaged or not.
He nodded. “And when she said yes, I saw her face. It was sad, almost like she was numb. I don’t see how Grayson couldn’t pick up on it.”
I scoffed. “He has what he wants, of course he’s not going to care. With me out of the way, he can do anything, especially with Summer backing him up.”
“Which is why I’m going to help you,” he confided. “But you only have one shot. I’m already going to endure the wrath of my wife for this.”
For the first time in months, I actually felt like I had a chance. “How are we going to do this?” I was ready to get started.
Evan walked up and smiled. “Be ready tomorrow night. I have a plan. If it works, she’ll come right to you. The only problem is Grayson. He’ll never forgive me for interfering.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “But your happiness is important to me. You’re my best friend. I’m just sorry I didn’t help you sooner.”
“You’re helping now, that’s all that matters.” Tomorrow I’d have Lara back, and this past year would be nothing but a distant memory.
“Are you feeling better?” Grayson asked. His arms snaked around my waist and he kissed my neck. Artie glanced over at us and smiled before turning his back to give us privacy.
“A little,” I lied, sprinkling parsley on a plate.
All day, I’d tried my best to avoid Grayson, to keep from having to talk about wedding plans. The ring was on my finger, but I wasn’t ready to wear it. It felt like a lie. If he hadn’t proposed to me in front of all of our friends, I might have had the courage to say no. Now it was too late.
“What about tonight, want me to come over? I figure we need to talk about our next step.”
My heart ached for him and I hated myself for letting things go as far as they did. I loved him more than life itself, but I wasn’t in love with him. I honestly didn’t know if I could spend the rest of my life without the raw passion I knew was possible.
“Lara?” Evan called. He stuck his head inside the kitchen and noticed us in the corner. A look passed over his face, one I couldn’t decipher. I was just glad he saved me.
Grayson stepped back and I moved to the side. “Hey, how was practice?”
“Good,” he replied awkwardly. “I was wondering if you could help me out with something.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“When are you headed home?”
I glanced at the clock on the wall. “In about twenty minutes. Since everything’s slowing down, Josh and Victoria should be able to handle the floor. And Summer will be here.”
He nodded. “Which is why I need to get home, so I can watch Emma-Grace. Do you think you’d be able to stop by the house on your way home? I picked up a few things for Summer’s birthday and I want your opinion. It won’t take long.”
“Sure,” I replied excitedly. “I’ll be there shortly.”
“Thanks.” He waved at Grayson and then hurried off.
I turned to Grayson. “I can call you after we’re done. Does that sound good?”
Gaze narrowed, he s
tudied me. “You sure you’re okay? You’re acting a little distant.”
“I’m fine. It’s just been a crazy couple of days.” I kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.” I hurried out of there, my heart breaking with each step. Why couldn’t I love him the way he should be loved? Grayson was a good-looking man, and he always put me before anything else. I was lucky to have a guy like that. Only, I wasn’t happy.
When I got to Summer and Evan’s house, Evan met me by the door, a finger to his lips. “Emma-Grace is sleeping.”
I knew the little princess would be out; she took after her aunt. “She has to get her beauty sleep.” I laughed. “So what all did you need me to look at?”
He grabbed the baby monitor and nodded toward the back door. “Let’s go outside.”
I followed him out the door to the back deck, expecting to see something spectacular, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Holding out my arms, I turned to face him. “O-kay. Care to tell me what I’m supposed to be looking at?” He cleared his throat and sheepishly lowered his head. “Evan, what’s going on?”
Sighing, he lifted his gaze. “I lied. I don’t need you to look at presents.”
“Then what did you need me for?” I searched around for a clue.
He held up his hands. “I just wanted to talk to you, away from Summer and Grayson.”
“If this is about Luke, you’re wasting your time,” I snapped.
“Do you really believe that? Because what I saw last night begs to differ. I saw your face when Grayson proposed. It wasn’t the look of a happy soon-to-be bride.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I wasn’t feeling well,” I challenged.
He snorted. “Tell that to someone who believes you. What gets me is, I never noticed before . . . you aren’t in love with him.”
The second he said it, everything came crumbling down. If he noticed, there had to be others. Closing my eyes, I turned away from him, my heart feeling as if it’d been ripped out. “I want to be in love with him,” I whispered. “I wish for it every day.”