by J. L. Beck
There is only one other option I can see right now. I have to take him out before he can take me out. I have to kill Lorenzo. That’s the only way I can get away and make my father safe. My heart rate skyrockets at the mere thought of shooting him, it isn’t fair that he can point a gun at me and feel nothing. Just thinking about killing someone–taking Enzo’s life–makes me sick to my stomach.
A clicking sound startles me as the door to my cell opens. Eli walks inside, looking like he would rather stab needles through his eyes than come and deal with me.
“Get up.” His voice is gruff and is full of hateful promises. I know he will hurt me if I don’t listen to him.
I stand up quickly. My body aches with all the emotions that have been swirling through me. Living in this house gives me a serious case of whiplash.
Eli takes a few steps toward me, and I instinctively take one back. I bump into the bed, almost falling. Just as I steady myself, the asshole grips me by the arm, pulling me into his body.
“If it weren’t for your pathetic ass, his head would be in the game.” Eli wants me to hate him, to feel his anger. I can see it in his eyes and feel it in the way he grabs me. I want to bite my tongue, and I probably should, but something beyond me thinks it will be a good idea to talk back.
“His head is clearly in the fucking game, asshole. He killed a room full of people, and you didn’t so much as blink.” I glare at him, my blood running cold.
A wicked smile pulls at his lips. It’s one that causes my knees to rattle and my stomach to heave. I wish I could smack the look right off his face.
“Has he tried you out yet?” His hand travels down to my ass as he grips it harshly. I pull away from him, but he only tightens his grip. I cry out in pain as his fingers dig into my skin with bruising force, which only makes him chuckle.
Never have I regretted not taking that self-defense class the college offered as much as now. Even without skills, I will not let him do this without a fight. I start hitting, kicking, and scratching at whatever I can get my hands on.
“Fuck yes, Fight me. That gets my cock hard,” Eli groans as he shoves me against the wall, caging me in with his body.
Through the haze of fear and panic, a lightbulb goes off in my head. It might be the dumbest or the best idea I’ve ever had. I stop fighting altogether and instead wrap my arms around his large body and pull him close, knowing that’s the last thing he expects.
As I hoped, his meaty hands stop groping my body. I’ve confused him, and I use that distraction to my advantage and pull my knee up as hard as I can into his groin.
He releases the death grip on my arm and doubles over in pain. “You fucking bitch.” His voice comes out in a strained whisper.
I don’t wait. Spinning around on my heels, I run through the door like the room is on fire. I sprint down the hall and head for the steps that lead to the first floor.
My heart sinks into my stomach when I hear his heavy footfalls behind me. I look around in terror and see him following me. His face still contorted in pain, his hands clenched into fists like he is ready to use them… use them on me.
“When I get my hands on you… I’ll kill you myself.” His voice sounds as if it’s right on top of me. Not a moment later, the air is shoved from my chest as I land against the stairs. His body is against mine, and I can feel his erection against my backside.
“Get the hell off me!”
Gripping me by the arm, he twirls me around, his body is pressed against mine again as he stares into my eyes. All I can think is I can’t let him do this to me, I have to get away. I push against him with all my might, but my arms are pinned, and my body is exhausted.
“Give up yet?” His breath is hot against my skin, and it feels wrong. All of it is wrong, but there’s nothing that I can do about it. He nips at my neck as his hand begins to slip into my pants. I shake my head back and forth, trying to make myself forget, and remove myself from the situation.
With the last of my strength, I scream. I scream until tears are streaming down my face, and I know I’m going to be hoarse.
“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll gut you after I fuck you,” Eli growls into my face. “Or I’ll choke you to death with my cock.”
The door above us is open, so I know someone has to have heard us. Footsteps fall on the floor as I hear someone coming. Enzo’s coming, he’s going to save me. It’s going to be okay…
A shadow appears in the doorway, but instead of Enzo, an older woman peers down at us. Her face contorts into anger as she descends the steps. Her words come out in a dialect that I don’t understand… It sounds Italian, but I’m not sure.
Whatever she says has Eli getting up and backing away from me. His eyes never leave me, though. The way he’s looking at me tells me that he’ll be back, and he’ll do whatever he wants to me.
“Come, piccolo.” Her hands are gentle, and her voice soothes me, as she pulls me up the stairs, leaving Eli behind in the basement. Tears spring from my eyes, and I grab her, wrapping my arms around her small frame. She’s my savior, my saint.
In the haze of it all, all I can focus on is that word. The one Enzo always calls me.
“What does that mean, the word you just called me?” I ask between sniffles. She smiles at me softly—the kind of smile my mom used to give me.
Her frail fingers reach out, pushing loose strands of my hair behind my ear. “It means little one in Italian.” Her voice is heavily accented, and as I listen to it, I want her to keep talking. The way the words sound and come together is soothing to my shattered soul.
I look back down the stairs where I was just assaulted. Eli has already left. I make a promise to myself that when he comes for me again, I will be ready.
“Let’s get you some food.” My face softens as I take her hand, letting her lead me to the safety and comfort of the kitchen.
Dinner is delicious. Adaline, Addy, as she likes to be called, is the head maid in the house. She has worked here for a long time and the stories she shares with me make me forget all about the horrific things that could’ve taken place just hours before.
She only comes in three days a week now, which is why I haven’t seen her before. I wish she was here all the time. I enjoy her company so much, and not just because she saved me from a horrible situation.
Addy is kind and has a way about her that makes me feel comfortable and taken care of. I wonder if she knows why I’m here or if she would possibly help me contact my father.
“Do you know why I’m here, Addy?” I look at her weathered face as I curl my hands around the cup of tea.
“Yes, I know how you got here, and I’m sorry it happened that way. Lorenzo can be a little rough around the edges. He wasn’t always like this, life made him that way.”
I nod, understanding what she is telling me. I’ve seen that part of him, the part where he shows kindness. It’s small, but it’s there. I’m sure that’s who he used to be.
“I wonder if he can find his way back to who he was before?”
“He’ll never be exactly like he was before. But with the right person leading the way, he can be better than what he is now.” She smiles at me like she believes it’s me.
“You think I’m that person?” I furrow my brows together. She doesn’t even know me. Hell, I barely know Lorenzo.
“I think you could be.” Her smile widens, pulling at the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Even with them, she is beautiful, her dark brown eyes full of wisdom.
While I finish my tea, I think about what she just told me. Could I help him? Change him for the better?
“Do you know where he is right now?”
“I’m not sure, but he left a while ago. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“What should I do now? Will you take me back to my cell?” I’m not sure how Enzo will react when he sees me out. He might be angry with me, though, the only person he should be mad at is Eli. Actually, he probably should be angry at himself as well, for locking me up in the first
place, but remorse seems highly unlikely with Enzo.
“Just go upstairs, child. The basement is no place for you. You can tell him I sent you up.”
“I don’t want to get you in trouble. I’ll be fine downstairs as long as Eli leaves me alone.”
“I always hated that guy. Don’t worry about me. Enzo won’t harm me, just go upstairs. Trust me.” She seems so sure in her words, so I believe her, hoping that she is right. I would never forgive myself if something happened to this sweet woman.
Getting up from the chair, I give her one more hug, wrapping my arms around her tightly and taking in her sweet flowery scent, which reminds me of my mother. She hugs me back just as fiercely, making me not want to leave her at all.
When we do finally break the hug, she gives me a reassuring nod, and I leave.
Sneaking upstairs, I watch over my shoulder at every turn. I’m not going to be taken off guard by Eli again. I vow to tell Enzo all about it whenever he gets back.
Entering his bedroom, a calmness washes over me. Somehow this room has become a safe space. I feel like no one can hurt me in here, which rationally, I know, is nothing more than an illusion. Eli could easily come in here and hurt me, so could Enzo.
Pushing those thoughts aside, I hold on to the fantasy of safety instead.
For a few minutes, I simply stand there, trying to figure out what to do now. Should I just wait here for him? Maybe sit on his desk or the bed?
Thinking about the bed triggers a wave of exhaustion, but then I remember I haven’t showered in days. The maid brought clean clothes and soap to wash up in the sink every day, but that’s not the same.
Heading to the bathroom, I strip out of my clothes and take a hot shower. The water feels wonderful, and after, I feel a hell of a lot cleaner than before. I dry off and wrap a towel around myself before leaving the fogged-up bathroom to walk to the closet.
My clothes are still there, neatly folded, and hung up as if I’ve been here all along. Dropping the towel, I dress in one of the silky pajama sets.
I really don’t want to fucking care about him or care about whatever he’s doing. Except, as I crawl into his bed, all I can do is see him, smell him, taste him. I feel the weight of his body on mine, his lips on my skin, and relish the passion and fire he stokes within me.
As soon as I close my eyes, I hear laughter from somewhere in the house. Someone is talking loudly, then laughing again. Footsteps follow suit. The sounds come closer, and I sit up. One final feminine giggle meets my ears, and then it is quiet for a moment.
Suddenly, the door opens, and Enzo appears. The bedroom is dark, but the light from the hallway filters in shining a spotlight on me.
Immediately, his gaze finds mine. His eyes are slightly glazed, but he mostly looks tired. I hear the same giggle again as he turns around to talk to the woman in the hall.
“Goodnight, Alessandra.” His voice is velvety soft when he says her name, and I won’t be fucking surprised if she has her legs spread, begging for him. His voice just has that effect.
The girl says something back that I can’t hear before he closes the door and turns around to face me. Shock and something else evident in his gaze.
“Who let you out?” he asks as he takes a drink from the glass in his hand.
There is no hi, hello, how the fuck are you. I’m pissed, furious. I so badly want to throw in his face what Eli did to me, but seeing him and the way he is acting, I don’t think it will matter to him. He won’t care, and that part hurts the most.
“I’m not a fucking dog.” I try my hardest to sound mean. I want to lash out at him with words because let’s face it, I won’t ever be able to hurt him physically. Mentally, though…I can do that. I can break him down, cut him, and turn him inside out, just like he does to me.
“I didn’t refer to you as a dog, now did I?” His smirk says asshole, but his body says I can have you if I want you. I hate it. I love it. I really want to shoot him.
“No, but you treat me like one.” My voice falters at the end. Betraying me. “Where were you? Going out and having fun while keeping me locked in the basement?” I ask, changing the subject. I know it sounds like a typical housewife to be asking where he was, and since we aren’t anything, I have no real reason to know. Except, I want to know.
He smiles, and his eyebrow raises. I’m afraid he won’t tell me since there are numerous things I know he has to be keeping from me.
“Jealousy doesn’t really suit you…”
“You don’t know what suits me,” I point out, pursing my lips.
“I missed your smart mouth.” He covers the distance between us. I’m still lying in his bed, surrounded by his scent. Drowning in a sea of Lorenzo King.
“Not enough to come back downstairs like you told me you would.”
“Who let you out of the cell?” he asks again.
“Eli did…” I’m so close to telling him the rest. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but then I imagine him reacting. Imagine how he would laugh at me, maybe even tell me I should have let Eli have his way with me. I couldn’t bear hearing that, so I keep my mouth shut.
Enzo simply nods, not seeming too mad about me being here, or Eli letting me out.
As he steps closer, I smell the bourbon from his drink as he swirls the brown liquid in his glass. The motion mesmerizes me, putting me in a trance. The liquid sloshes over the side, and eventually, he brings the glass to his lips, drinking from it. His lips lick at his drink as if he wants to get every last drop.
“Are you going to tell me who she was?”
He sets the now empty glass down on the nightstand and starts to undress.
When he is down to his boxers, and his clothes are in a pile next to the bed, he climbs onto the bed. The next moment, his body covers mine, caging me in, surrounding me. The monster has captured his prey. His gaze skims over my lips and up my face before landing on mine again.
“I see the jealousy swirling around in your big brown eyes. It’s cute, in a way. But there’s something you must know about me. I don’t care if something bothers you.” He is whispering now. His liquored breath fanning out over my face.
“I’m the king,” he continues. “I do whatever the fuck I want.” Every word forces more of his hot breath onto my face. I want to bite him just to see what he tastes like. As fucked up as all this is, I want him. I want him even when he tells me he doesn’t give a fuck about what I think.
“No. You’re a prick. A self-righteous prick who thinks he is a king, when in reality, you’re nothing but a sad man who can’t love and can’t let go of the anger that’s eating him up inside.” My words are laced with so much hate. I feel like I am trying to make myself like him less as if saying the words aloud will make him less appealing to my body and to my heart.
The air shifts around us, and my skin feels as if it is on fire. Enzo stares at me with an expression that I can’t read. I half expect him to hit me or throw me over his shoulder and take me back downstairs. Instead, he just looks at me for what seems like an eternity. I can’t tear my eyes away from his.
I open my mouth to say something, but Enzo wraps his hand around my throat, cutting me off before a single word has left my lips.
The air hangs between us, and I look down at his hand, clasping it. He pushes me to the back of the headboard, and I can feel the oxygen deprivation.
“I’m not scared of you,” I wheeze out. Even if I am going to die, I will do it in a fashion that is me. He will know I died unafraid of him, and to me, that is the most important thing.
A war rages within him as his muscles constrict. He can’t decide if he wants to strangle me or not… He unclasps his hand, and I swallow a breath of air just in time. His hand clenches again, and I swear I feel the bones in my neck snap.
Or maybe it is all a dream. I know the moment he makes his decision because a softness shows in his eyes.
“You should be…” he mumbles against my throat as he kisses the bruises that I’m sure are there. T
here is a tenderness in the way he caresses me. It is as if he is trying to scrub away the bad, like he wants to take the hurt away. He is conflicted and fucked up. I can’t even begin to fully describe him.
“I’m not scared of you anymore, and if I was, I wouldn’t show that kind of weakness to you.”
“Being scared doesn’t make you weak…” His eyes glaze over, hazy with a memory, I’m sure. He had to have had a fucked up childhood to have turned into the beautifully damaged man he is. He never speaks of his mother or father.
“In the eyes of a monster like you, it does.” His lips lick over one of my bruises and trails up to my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck stand, and I feel a surge of adrenaline go through me. His teeth nibble at my lobe, and I feel myself growing weak against him. My defenses are nothing when it comes to the things he can do with his mouth.
I want him. Despite how mean and ugly he is on the inside, my body craves him.
“You forget that every fallen angel was good at some point. Monsters don’t really want to be monsters. We just become this way. We’re just like everyone else, waiting for someone to come save us from our very own damned darkness.”
I pull away from him, frazzled and warm with need. Confusion must be evident on my face, he looks at me smiling. Maybe Addy was right. And maybe Enzo himself knows it.
“Why did you tell me that?”
I’m still wondering if someone so dark and hateful can actually come back from that? My mind goes straight to the moment I watched him shoot those people in their heads. The light in him had diminished and left in its place is a gaping hole of nothing.
A single treacherous tear runs down my face as I mourn those people I didn’t even know. Enzo leans down and kisses that tear away before he flops down on the spot beside me.
“Go to sleep, piccolo,” he whispers into the shell of my ear and pulls me into his chest.
Immediately, I relax, letting him soothe me even though he shouldn’t be able to. He should make me feel worse, not better.
Closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath. Letting sleep find me is easy, now I just need to be able to keep the nightmares away.