by J. L. Beck
I stroke myself hard, a hiss leaving my mouth as I press into her folds.
“This is what you do to me. You make me a crazed monster…” I murmur against her flesh. My teeth bite down on her shoulder as I push into her ever so slowly. She is tighter than anything I have ever felt.
A cry escapes her lips as I release my hold on her shoulder and look into her eyes. Being a virgin, I know she is overwhelmed with emotion and pleasurable pain, so I sit still for a moment before pushing into her all the way. No words need to be said. I plan on spelling everything out plainly and simply. My strokes and bites will be my words.
“Your pussy is mine…” I croon as I wait for her to adjust to my presence inside her. It is all mine for the taking. I’m going to pound her so hard…
“Yes, yours,” she implores, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as I pull out and slam back into her. I grab her ass and tilt her hip up to give me better access. My muscles clench, and I know I’m going to tear her apart if I don’t slow down.
“You get what I give.” I don’t sound like myself as I pull out and push back into her. My cock is swelling. I feel my balls squeezing, wanting to release even though we have hardly begun.
Sweat covers our bodies as I stare at her, nose to nose. Determination shows in every push of my body into hers. It’s my will to break her beyond repair, to bring her into the darkness with me, and allow her to be that one person who prevents me from destroying everyone and everything.
Her nails dig into my shoulders while her tits bounce up and down. My pace picks up, and eventually, her head falls back against the wall as an obscene amount of swear words leave her mouth.
Smiling against her skin, I feel my muscles coil, telling me that my release is coming fast. A few more strokes and she will be there, so I need to last it out.
Slipping my hand between us, I place my thumb against her clit. She cries out, her muscles clenching my dick like a vice. Her screams are hoarse, and I pull myself from her as she melts into a mass of nothing. Sitting up, I take my hand and stroke my cock tightly.
Since the moment I brought her here, I’ve had this need to mark her and make sure that she knows she is mine. My strokes become harder and faster. Every slide over the head and back up pushes me that much closer to where I want to be.
Her eyes are mesmerized as she watches me. I grit my teeth as my release comes, squirting all over her beautiful stomach and thighs. I want to rub it in, but I also want to make sure every ounce of my seed lands on her.
As I continue to jerk off, she moans, her fingers sliding through my semen. She is rubbing it in for me. I’ll be fucking damned if my dick doesn’t want to take her again.
As she massages my cum into her skin, I stare, unable to pull my eyes from her body. She is everything I want and everything I need to stay away from. She is a weakness, and I will only bring her down if I head down a road where I think it will be okay to want something more from her.
Love isn’t in my cards. It’s hard to love someone when every person you have ever cared about is ripped from you.
Dropping down to the bed beside her, I pull her body onto mine, not caring about the sticky mess on her skin. I hold her against my chest. She is a tiny thing, light, but curvy.
“That was… mind-blowing,” I whisper against her skin as I watch her eyes close. I wore her out. Time for a late morning nap, I guess.
She looks so peaceful now. The complete opposite of the way she looked at me earlier today. “No. You’re a prick. A self-righteous prick who thinks he is a king, when in reality you’re nothing but a sad man who can’t love and can’t let go of the anger that’s eating him up inside.”
Her words have not left me since the moment they fell from her plump lips. Honestly, I think they will haunt me for the rest of my life. Why? Because they are so close to the truth that it makes my chest ache ferociously.
I can’t believe how quickly she forgives me. How easy it is for her to turn the other cheek. She is the angel, and I’m the devil.
There is no saving us from the destruction I will cause.
17
Amara
It has been three days since I had the most mind-blowing sex of my life. Well, the only sex of my life, but it was amazing, nothing like I expected. He hasn’t fucked me since that night, and though I have given him blow jobs and allowed him to go down on me many times, we still haven’t connected like we did that day.
I’ve been spending my days playing the piano and reading while he does who knows what. I’ve avoided Eli so far and hope it will continue until I have the courage to tell Enzo what happened.
Yesterday, Addy was here, and I stayed in the kitchen with her, so I have someone to talk to. She agreed that it might be better not to tell Enzo about it and just stay out of Eli’s way.
“Get out of bed,” Enzo orders, his voice stern. I roll my eyes at his command. He might have a hold on my body, but my mind is mine to keep. He has been growing angrier every day, and just the other night, when I heard him conversing with Mack, a bottle of bourbon was smashed against the wall.
“Out,” he orders again, coming to my side of the bed. I growl, my feet hitting the floor. We have gone over this. I told him there will be no ordering me around, and though he disagreed, I figured I had gotten my point across. Obviously not.
“I’m up. What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?” I stumble from the bed and toward the closet.
Grabbing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I walk away from him, leaving him to wallow in whatever it is that is making him mad. He is mad all the time, grateful for nothing, I’m sure.
I slip through the bathroom door, fully intent on closing it and locking it when his body slides through, stopping me.
“What do you want?” I ask, displeased with the fact that he can’t… no, won’t leave me alone.
“Why did you accept the debt for your father?” His eyes hold this curiousness that bothers me. He isn’t curious. A man like him is never curious. He has a reason behind every question that he asks.
“If you think I did this because I thought it would be fun, you have to be fucking crazy…” I laugh, not the normal hunky-dory kind, but the kind that makes me look like I am unhinged.
Raising an eyebrow at me, he watches my facial features as if he is going to catch me in a lie somewhere. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, why would you step up to the plate? Why not leave your father to deal with his own shit?”
“The better question is, why would you take an innocent girl and bring her into your sick and twisted life? You know why I came with you. Maybe you forgot how that whole day played out. But to refresh your memory, I came with you so you wouldn’t kill my father–the only family I have left.”
Who does he think he is? Questioning me like this?
“You should apologize for being a monster,” I add, knowing damn well, I’m pushing my luck.
His face twists into an angry scowl. I don’t want to push him, but then again, I do. My blood sings for him to take me, to slam my back against the wall, and push my panties to the side…
“Me, apologize for being a monster?” he growls, stepping more and more into the bathroom, forcing me to take steps back until my back hits the vanity.
“Why should I have to apologize for the very thing that people have made me out to be? Why should I have to say sorry to anyone?” His face is in mine, anger is right on the surface of exploding within him.
Lifting my chin and staring him straight in the eyes, I say, “Because, people who are innocent and just trying to get by, die because of you. You kill people because of a debt that is meant to be paid? Did you ever think that these people come to you as a last resort? Have you ever lost anything or anyone? Probably not. You don’t even know the pain…”
His fist raises and comes down though it never hits me. The mirror directly behind us shatters. Shards of glass go flying in every direction, and I push past him and out of the way as blood pours from his hand.
Hate, deep and ugly, radiates off him. “I know loss, pain, and heartache. You know nothing about my pain!”
They say you should never look death straight in the eye, but I guess you can say I’m a bit of a rebel. I can see the misery, anger, and insecurities within him swirling. He wants me to think that nothing can break him. That there isn’t anything on the face of the earth that can bring him out of his own personal hell.
“I think I know you better than you realize.” I don’t let the way he’s looking at me scare me. I don’t let his beautifully dark face tarnish my mind.
“You know nothing,” he growls, his hands reaching into my hair. He tugs it hard, and my scalp burns while my walls clench. The pleasure and pain he can bring me has me wanting to set him off non-stop by looking him straight in the eyes, defying and pushing him.
“I do…”
His eyes look into mine, all pieces of the human I have grown to know are gone. His mouth descends on mine, our teeth clash, and there’s so much power in that simple skin on skin contact. His hand is still in my hair, holding me in place, and I can’t help but feel all over his body.
He growls, gripping my ass and lifting me up onto the counter. The broken glass pricks against my skin, but I don’t care. Nothing can pull me away from this man. My hunger for him outweighs everything.
His lips devour mine while he bites at my skin. My legs spread all on their own as I ready for him. His hand reaches up, tearing my panties from me. The flimsy nightshirt I’m wearing is no resistance to him.
I’m panting with need by the time he releases my hair and pushes me back so he can unbuckle himself. I watch as he slowly pulls his pants off, his cock comes to attention, and I feel my mouth watering. The thought of him taking me, with no intention of warning me, has me growing wetter by the second.
“Hold on. . . I’m going to fuck the defiance right out of you,” he whispers in my ear, his teeth graze it, and I let a sigh escape my lips. My ass is tugged to the edge of the counter, and suddenly, he’s at my entrance, entering me with an intensity I have never felt in my life. Our grunts and slaps echo through the bathroom. Enzo’s fingers bite into my flesh as a flutter runs through me and straight to my toes. They curl, and a cry of pleasure leaves my lips as I open my eyes and catch him watching himself push in and out of me.
“Your pussy, your body… It is all made for me,” he growls, his teeth scrape my skin as his cock continues to push into me, hitting my G-spot. I have never felt so much pleasure in my life. Something in me comes to life, and I feel myself floating. My body tingles and zings with desire, pleasure, and pain.
He continues his destructive pace as if he is trying to break me into little pieces so he can put me back together as he sees fit. Reaching up, I grip his face, bringing him nose to nose with me. Desire pulls deep inside of his eyes, and suddenly we’re moving as he slams my back against one of the walls. The air leaves my lungs as he places deep kisses against my neck and chest. Fabric tears and I’m so far into a lust induced state that I don’t even care what is going on. My only want and need is Enzo.
“Tight pussy and your tits, they’re fucking gorgeous, just like the rest of you.” His words are a whisper to my soul but barely heard by my ears. His grip on my ass tightens as he moves us again, his back landing on the bed with me on top of him. His hands move from my hips and come to a stop behind his head, and he smirks up at me.
Looking down at him, I ask, “What are we doing?”
“Ride me. Show me what that tight pussy of yours can do. I’ve never had a pussy that can bring me to my knees like yours does. I want to know if you can make me beg, plead, and want more.”
Gyrating my hips slowly, I smile, remembering how he told me that I would eventually be riding his cock.
“Your wish is my command.” I move slowly at first, watching as the smile slowly slips from his face. His lips part and his tongue touches his lips, licking them in anticipation. I bounce on him until I feel myself on the verge, my walls clenching, my mind slips from my body, and I feel like I’m looking at everything from above. Is it possible to die from coming so many times?
In the next moment, I’m lying on my back as he parts my legs and pushes them down into my chest so he can go deeper. His pace is evil as he slips in and out slowly but deeply. When that doesn’t seem to satisfy him any longer, he lets loose and starts to pound into me hard and fast. He pushes into me with all his might, his dick hitting my back wall with a painfully pleasing feeling. I’ve never in my life felt such great pleasure from pain.
Just when I think I can’t take much more of this, I feel him coming deep inside of me. I feel his spurts of hot semen and his dick swelling as my walls clench him once again. My body feels as if it’s floating, even though Enzo has collapsed on top of me and is pushing me into the mattress.
Getting on his elbows, he puts a few inches of space between us and pulls his cock from my body, making me feel like I’ve lost a part of myself.
I’m still coming back down to earth when he whispers, “You will be the death of me.”
“Funny, I’ve been thinking the same about you.”
I guess we’ll see who kills who first…
“Wake up,” he growls in my ear. I roll over, my naked body colliding with his dressed one. How long had he been lying next to me, watching me sleep?
“You sleep a lot,” he points out.
“What time is it?” I ask sleepily. I look out the window and catch a glimpse of the sun setting. That nap was way longer than I anticipated, probably has something to do with the morning full of sex.
“It’s time for you to get up, sleepyhead.”
“To be fair, I don’t really have anything else to do. So why not take frequent naps?”
“You have something to do now. We’re going to meet someone very important to me. However, first, we’re going to dinner.” The way the word dinner rolls off his tongue sends my body into overdrive. Is this a date or one of his business meetings again?
“The last time you took me somewhere didn’t end well. Are you sure you want to take me?” Groaning, I stretch. My body is sore, in a deliciously well worked over way. My pussy aches, and as I stand, my legs feel like jelly. I grip the side of the bed, trying to get a grip on my footing. Come on, body, get it together. As I get my footing, I turn to see a very amused look on Enzo’s face. He is so cocky, he makes me want to punch him.
“Did I fuck the defiance out of you?” he asks, smirking. I roll my eyes as I walk back to the bathroom.
“No. Did I fuck the bad out of you?” I ask with a cheeky grin before closing the bathroom door. The mirror fragments have been picked up, and a whole new mirror sits before me. Was it all a dream? I touch the mirror as if my fingertips can bring this dream back.
The glass is cold under my fingers, and I pull my hand back, finally catching a glimpse of my face in the mirror. I look like a five-dollar whore. Fingertip markings can be found on my legs, hips, and arms. My hair desperately needs brushing, and my lips are red and chapped as if I have been kissed for hours.
At least my bruises from the night at the club are gone.
I run my fingers through my hair, hissing at my sensitive scalp. The memory of the hours before swarming me. The way he had taken me, the way he had possessed my mind and body… It was all about him and me at that moment. The mafia, the money owed, debts, nothing mattered. Everything fell away, leaving him and me behind. Enzo may be a lost cause to most, dark and dangerous to others, but I have never felt closer to anyone like I do him.
Stopping myself from thinking of how his cock tastes in my mouth, I head to the shower. My mind turning my blissful thoughts into shit almost immediately. He is taking me somewhere, and that scares me. He is different when people are around, darker. It’s like he is a different person, but I stay the same, and that’s a huge problem.
I know I need to stop myself from thinking that he can be saved, but I don’t think I can. I see that sliver of hope in h
is eyes. He still believes in himself somewhere deep inside the darkness that holds him. I don’t want to think about the alternative. Once I have served a purpose to him, he will push me away, maybe even kill me.
Turning the water on, I run my hand under it until I get it to the temperature I want. I slip into the shower, letting the hot water hit my skin. The bathroom smells just like him, and I find myself reaching for his body wash and smelling it. It’s not a complex smell, nothing that has a fancy name. It simply smells clean, manly, if you will.
I put some onto my hands and wash my body with it. He doesn’t have any feminine bathroom products, and I’m not sure if this should make me happy or not. He doesn’t seem like the type to have a girlfriend, but he does seem the type to use and abuse.
He hasn’t talked to me about his past at all. All I know about him is that he is the leader of the mob and he has money. That’s as much as I know.
I lather the shampoo into my hair, scrubbing it in frustration for the things going on around me. I know nothing about him or the darkness that cloaks him and everything he is. Mack being the only person I can possibly go to isn’t an option.
A sigh leaves my lips as I slip back under the hot stream of water. I still haven’t told Enzo about what Eli did or how he treated me. We might be closer now, but I still don’t think he would believe me over Eli. Plus, if Enzo can kill a whole room of people, I’m sure he couldn’t care less about a woman being raped.
Rinsing the soap, I wish I could rinse away the feelings I’m having inside with it. Even if there is a sliver of hope and light left in him, can I save him and walk away unscathed? Something tells me it won’t be that easy.
I shiver as I shut the water off and watch it go down the drain. I am stalling. I am not sure what will happen tonight; I don’t know if anything will occur between us.
“Five minutes,” he says, tapping against the wood door of the bathroom. I pull myself from my thoughts and force myself to dry off. I need to get out of my head. There is no point in trying to hide inside my own mind.