by Elbie Dee
“Shut up, man,” I joked.
I changed the subject and directed the conversation toward Brilese. Bradson kept his place in the car with both of his boys passed out in their car seats in the back. Dezire and I stood outside and the three of us chatted for thirty minutes, before I vaguely heard the glass door of the jail open.
“Brilese!” Dezire shouted and met Brilese halfway. She welcomed her with a bear hug, as if they hadn’t just seen each other the day before.
Bradson quickly flung the car door open and missed my leg by an inch. He ran to Brilese and attempted to welcome her in his arms, but she dodged him instead. The two ladies walked side by side until they passed where I stood and walked to the Sonata that Dezire drove. Bradson kept his stance as he watched them walk, until he joined me again.
“I’m losing her,” he shared with me. I wanted to tell him it was untrue, but there wasn’t a way I could.
“Sorry, man,” I said, and he looked at me with weary eyes. I usually knew what to say, but I was speechless. He really fucked up, and she wasn’t going to forget it. I couldn’t say I blamed her, but Bradson informed me of the addiction he had. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation.
Fresh out of the shower, I took the towel from the wine rack I installed behind the bathroom door. Since I kicked Lizelle out, I had to put it to use; it was one of the only items I didn’t grab when I packed her things. I was more of a Bourbon drinker as opposed to wine, so it became a space saver from where my towels were previously placed on a shelf in the utility closet. After unrolling the towel, I quickly dried my body before tossing it over my half-inch, dirty blonde hair. I gave it a shake or two and wrapped it around my waist before opening the door, and walking into my bedroom.
Unknown Number: Hey there!
I read the text after walking to my bed and picking up my phone from on top of the quilt. Although I was lost from knowing I didn’t give my number to anyone, I decided to reply. I sent a message asking who it was, before I walked over to my gentleman’s chest and pulled a pair of boxers from the top drawer. Just as I pulled the grey briefs up until they were snug around my waist, a sound came from my phone. Anxiously, I rushed back to the bed in hopes the unknown number replied to me. Surely, it had.
It’s Dezire! Bradson gave me your number after you left.
Instantly, I froze. She wasn’t in front of me, but I didn’t want to reply and potentially miss out on a good thing from saying something wrong. I inserted the knuckle on my index finger into my mouth, and bit down as I began to pace the carpet. Knowing she wouldn’t have texted me to begin with if she wasn’t interested, left me with no choice but to have to say something. I didn’t want her to think she was in the wrong.
Oh hey! I was hoping for this! I replied, honestly.
I didn’t want to leave emotions to be guessed on. Lizelle was the last person I was with. After divorcing, I decided to stay alone until the right one came along. A few years later, and I was beginning to get butterflies just from the sight of something beautiful. Dezire's acknowledgement alone sent me into a life of everlasting love.
Dezire and I texted back and forth all night long. By the time I fell asleep at four in the morning, I began to feel whole again. When I asked her age, I couldn’t believe what I was told. She was almost fifteen years younger than me! Her maturity level was comparable to mine, as if she had an old soul.
Although we come from different backgrounds, we had a lot in common. The both of us loved reading, but her genre was different from mine. She loved inspirational books, but I liked blogs about deer hunting and rifles. We mutually enjoyed being homebodies and watching movies all night long. An advantage she had on me was her passion for cooking. She shared with me that she loved creating her own recipes. I honestly told her that my specialty was Hamburger Helper.
By the time I sent my last text, we agreed to go on a date. I needed the day to be as soon as possible. Since Brilese was out of jail, we decided on a time for noon the next day. She didn’t have the kids, and it was her day off work. I wished we would have gotten to get to know each other sooner, although the timing couldn’t have been better. I closed my eyes to rest, and dreams of us together surfaced underneath my eyelids.
6
Brilese
The moment I saw Bradson after walking out of the doors to the jail, I grew sick to my stomach. The sight of him alone shot fumes of smoke through my bloodstream. I was careless to the fact that he signed the paperwork and put the money up to bond me out. If he would have never gotten Alynn pregnant, causing her to crash our wedding, then I would have a lesser chance of being charged with accessory to a fucking murder.
“Brilese, talk to me dammit!” Bradson said. I looked at my nails, and then back out of the window as he drove my car, heading back toward Rock Hill. With me being pissed off and his kids in the car, I chose not to drive. I couldn’t put them in danger because of my feelings toward Bradson.
If I was going to be charged with anything, I began to wish it was for the murder of him. I forgave him too many times, and each time he only fucked up. To think he was going to marry me after he fucked Alynn, was disgusting and only showed the type of man he’s always been. I became disappointed in myself to think he would change for me. I never thought a person could have so much carelessness toward a woman, let alone a mother of two.
“Brilese!” he yelled, and my ass jumped a little from the seat from the bass in his tone.
“What!” I screamed back at him, which caused Kash to wake up.
“Leese!” he acknowledged me. I shot my head back and greeted him before I turned around to rest my back on my seat.
The rest of the way to Rock Hill, Bradson and I kept quiet. He was aware that I didn’t play that drama shit in front of kids. When we got into town, I told him it was best if we go pick his car up before I went to Dezire’s parents house to get my kids. He agreed, seeing two additional children wouldn’t fit in the five-seat vehicle. Truthfully, I didn’t want him around anymore of the people in my life. Besides, I’m sure Dezire’s parents were aware of the situation since they were babysitting for Dezire. There wasn’t a way I would disrespect them, by bringing the most disrespectful mother fucker in the world to their home.
“When will you be home?” Bradson asked, after he parked the car in the lot of the mechanical shop.
“When I get there,” I replied. I hoped he didn’t think I was going to give him a set answer.
“Brilese, stop. Please,” he begged.
“Stop? Like you did?” I asked.
Instead of answering my question, he shook his head and exited the car. Once he opened the back door to grab the kids, I opened the passenger’s door and proceeded to the driver’s side. I hopped in and slammed the door as I waited for him to get both kids out. As soon as he walked away from my car, I placed my gear into drive and left the shop. I made my way down the street in silence, not wishing to distract myself with music.
Not even twenty minutes later, I was pulling up to Dezire’s parents’ home. Before I could get parked in the roundabout, I noticed the front door opening. After coming to a stop, I placed the gear into park and turned the ignition off as I noticed her mother coming out of the house. As she closed the door behind her, she stood at the end of the stone pathway waiting for me to get out. It almost felt like she was waiting specifically for me to pull up.
“Hi baby,” she said, as she welcomed me into her arms once I walked over to where she stood.
“Hey Mrs. Quise,” I greeted. The smell of her freshly done corn braids snuck into my nostrils. “You smell good.” I complimented her.
“You’ve always liked my scent,” she giggled, and released her arms from around me. “How are you doing, baby,” she asked.
“Could be better,” I replied with honesty. She looked at me and smirked as she kept her palms on top of my shoulders. We stood about the same height, so it was hard not to give her direct eye contact; it caused me to shed a few tears.
; “I understand. Dinner is finished. Would you like some?” she offered, but I shook my head. I didn’t have an urge to eat since the sight of Bradson caused me to lose any appetite I did have.
Before I was allowed to enter the house, she walked me over to the stone bench to have a conversation with me. Surprisingly, she told me she was cheated on by her husband; Dezire’s father. Similar to my situation with Bradson, he had gotten a woman pregnant. In her situation, the woman agreed to have an abortion. She knew he was married, and unselfishly didn’t want to bring a child into the world under the circumstances.
“How did you forgive him?” I asked. Never in a million years would I have guessed those actions coming from Mr. Quise.
“He changed,” she replied. “People make mistakes, but only unselfish ones who are in love change for those they admire. You’ve given him too many chances Brilese, and now look where you’re at.”
“Trust me. He won’t be getting another one,” I concluded. She smiled and told me to stay strong for my babies. She assured me that God sees all, and to not give up fighting for myself before we walked together into her home.
“Mommy!” Karleiyah and Zirko exclaimed together.
“I missed you guys so much!” I said, after bringing them both into my arms. After I greeted them, I instructed them to sit back at the table and finish their food. I knew how much of a pet peeve it was for Mrs. Quise when someone left the table before finishing. She made an exception this time, but I didn’t want to push it; my level of respect for her always stood strong.
A glass of wine and an hour later, I ended my stay at The Quise’s house. We all said our goodbyes, and Karleiyah, Zirko and I walked out of the house and toward the car. As a force of habit, I waited outside of my driver’s side door and waited for them to get in before I followed. I buckled my seatbelt and started my ignition. Before placing my car into drive, I picked my phone up from the middle console and opened the text notification.
Where are you? Bradson asked.
None of your business. I replied.
In no way was I letting him know where I was; it wasn’t his business. After all he put me through, he was lucky I even messaged back. He was probably thinking that I’d come home, but that was the furthest from my mind. I needed space away from him, so Dezire offered me to stay at her apartment. She said the kids and I could have the bed, and she’d take the couch since it’s only her. With the kids having a few outfits that we kept at her place when she babysat, it wasn’t a bad idea at all.
With seventy-thirty approaching, I made my way toward her apartment. The kids needed to bath and get settled, and so did I. After twenty minutes of driving, the kids and I pulled into her complex. We took the nearest space next to her building, which was right in front of the leasing office. I turned my ignition off, and we all got out and walked up the flight of stairs leading to her apartment.
Knock! Knock! I sounded my knuckles onto the metal door and waited for her to come.
“Hey Dezzie!” the kids greeted once she opened the door, before they brushed past her to get in. We both chuckled, and I walked in before closing the door behind me.
“Wine, babe?” she asked, as if she read my mind.
“Yeah. I could use another glass or two,” I chuckled, and watched as she poured the sweet red blend into a glass for me, and one for her… once we entered the kitchen.
“That’s what took you so long! Chucking it up with my parents, huh!” she laughed. She loved the bond they had with me, since I was one of the more important people in her life.
Ding! I looked down on the notification on my phone before taking a seat in front of the wine glass on top of the table.
Where are you? We’re supposed to meet the lawyer tomorrow in Charlotte. To no surprise, Bradson texted.
I’ll meet you there. What time? I replied.
Instantly, he told me the meet was at ten-thirty in the morning but persisted to ask me where
I was again. I told him it wasn’t his business and I wouldn’t be coming home that night. After sending the last text to Bradson, Dezire and I drank a few glasses of wine and talked as Zirko and Karleiyah were taking turns with their showers.
“Girl what?” I shockingly said, after she told me she used the number Bradson gave her to text Matt. “I didn’t know you were into white men!”
“Nobody does. Please don’t say anything, Brilese,” she begged.
I assured her that her secret was safe with me, but she was eventually going to have to come out about it… especially if Matt becomes a good man for her. She agreed, and took turns texting him while talking to me until we were all ready to go to bed at ten o’clock. Karleiyah and Zirko already had passed out on her bed, so I joined them after showering and throwing some of Dezire’s clothes on. Before I closed the door to her bedroom, I caught Dezire smiling from ear to ear as her and Matt held their text conversation. I smiled, managing to do so without her knowledge. I was happy for her.
“Mommy,” I heard vaguely, as I tried focusing my eyes to open. “Mommy! Your phone is ringing like crazy!” I had awakened enough for me to hear Karleiyah clearly.
“Oh shit!” I yelled, after I stretched my body across the bed and grabbed my phone from underneath the pillow. “Hurry and throw an outfit on!” I demanded my kids, who were both sitting on their knees over the blankets staring at me.
Immediately, they hopped down from the bed and ran over to Dezire’s dresser. Karleiyah opened the bottom drawer that was assigned for their clothes and began getting an outfit out for each of them. It was already nine-thirty in the morning, and I was supposed to be all the way in Charlotte within an hour. Answering for Bradson would have pushed me back a few minutes, so I texted him asking for the location. Once the message was sent, I tore the covers from on top of my body and hopped off the bed.
My feet hit the carpet and I jetted to open the bedroom door. I planned on asking Dezire to borrow an outfit since I didn’t have time to run home. That plan ended when I looked on her couch, and she still laid asleep. Without wanting to disturb her, I closed the door again and took matters into my own hands. She wouldn’t mind, and I planned on texting her once I got in the car just to let her know.
“Mommy, do we look decent?” Karleiyah asked. I looked at my kids and they were both dressed in a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt that matched each color of the shorts to the tee.
“The best!” I exclaimed. Within the seconds it took for me to get up and close the door again… they had already gotten dressed. If there wasn’t anyone else who would stick by me, I knew I could count on them forever.
I snapped myself from admiration of my children and opened all the drawers until I had a pair of jeans and a hot pink t-shirt pulled out. Luckily, Dezire and I were the same size. If we weren’t, I would have either had to have gone home, or worn the same clothes from the day before. I couldn’t take the chance of being late for an appointment with this lawyer. Literally, my life was on the line.
7
Bradson
After sending Brilese the location of the lawyer’s office in Charlotte, I began making my way toward the city from the house she and I shared. My boys were strapped into their car seats and ready to go; all I was waiting for was to confirm she was showing for the meeting. Although she was angry with me, I was still going to make sure I stood by her one hundred percent of the way through all of it.
“We’re ready to go!” I yelled to my boys in the backseat. With Kayo still being too young to talk, as expected Kash was the only one to reply.
“Yay!” he exclaimed, as I started the ignition and began to back out of the driveway. He loved taking road trips.
I didn’t need to think too hard about where Brilese was all night long. Since Dezire and Matt had been texting, he informed me that Brilese was spending the night at her place. She needed space, and I understood. I hoped for her forgiveness, although it didn’t seem possible anymore. Hopefully, I’d be able to assist in the legal case to do whatever
it took to keep Alynn behind bars for life. Not only did she ruin my marriage, but she almost killed my kids’ mother. I knew if she would be released, I would take her place in a cell. I would rest peacefully knowing she’s six feet deep.
“Dada!” Kash yelled from his seat. The boy had a voice box on him, because I clearly heard him over the song, Emotional, by Carl Thomas blasting from my radio.
“What, son!” I yelled back, after reaching my right hand over to turn the volume of the music down.
“Where Leese? And Mommy?” he asked, leaving my heart to fall into pieces.
“They’ll both be with us soon,” I replied. Before he had a chance to reply, I turned the volume of the music back to its maximum. I was aware of the commotion happening, but I couldn’t bring it to myself to make my kids aware. One thing I admired about Brilese was the fact she never lied to her kids but managed to keep things to a limit. I was learning to take baby steps into becoming the parent she always has been. She was strong enough for gender roles not to matter; a damn good mother, and father.
By the time Kash, Kayo, and I reached the lawyer’s office, my emotions were flourishing with a depressed vibe; I did it to myself. The entire forty-minute drive, I was blasting nothing but R&B songs to express how I felt. I shed a tear for Brilese before, but I couldn’t bring myself to continue. With my kids being in my care, I needed them to be alert on how strong of a man I was. Daily, I pray for their strength throughout this cold world.
When I placed my Fusion into park once we pulled up to the empty space right in front of the doors to the office, I grabbed my phone from the door panel. There was only ten minutes to spare until it was time for our appointment. Without Brilese being in sight, I tried calling her one more time before walking into the lawyer’s office with Kash and Kayo.