“You lost me. What ledger?”
“The one I keep in my head. The one that lists every person I’ve killed in the line of duty.” Hunter stood and dusted his hands off. “But maybe I can save lives instead. Maybe one busted out bear shifter can work for the parks department. Jump in where forest fires are and put them out.”
Quinn nodded slowly. “And this will help how?”
“Don’t you get it? Pulling those kids from the fire yesterday. For the first time, I felt like I’d accomplished something good. And even if I died doing it, I had died saving instead of killing.”
“You got it wrong, man. I mean yeah, we saved those kids. I get that. But we were saving lives wherever we went. Preventing good people from being killed by bad people. That was our job.”
“Not that daycare,” Hunter insisted.
The light of realization shone in Quinn’s eyes. “That’s what’s been haunting you this entire time? Why didn’t you just say something? There’s help for that kind of shit.”
“Where? At the hospital? Where they can record your every thought and use it against you right before they send you into battle? No thanks.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You did what you were ordered to do. Intel failed you.” Quinn’s voice was steady. Reassuring. But Hunter didn’t want reassurance.
“I detonated it. I pulled the trigger.” Hunter’s voice was fierce. Unforgiving of himself and others. “The fault lies with me.”
Hunter could tell Quinn wanted to argue further but chose to let it go. “So, saving the kids. That helped?”
“It just dawned on me. I need to get in touch with my handler. He’ll know what to do.” Hunter felt a moment of unease. “The smoke jumpers could probably use me, right?”
Quinn nodded. “Shifters are tireless. Once they see how hard you worked, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Hunter nodded and headed back down the mountain. Realization dawned on him. No matter how far you go, you can’t run away from yourself. And Hunter was tired of running. Tired of looking over his shoulder.
It was time to make it right.
Chapter Nine
Two Weeks later
Hadley
The din of a Thursday afternoon in the hospital during influenza season was something best left behind. “Leaving early, Hadley?” one of the assistants said to her.
Hadley barely acknowledged their words. She’d taken every double shift since coming back to Winston. Leaving at the end of her tenth twelve-hour shift in a row wasn’t even worth the time to comment.
All Hadley wanted was her bed and eight hours of peaceful forgetfulness. She hated the life she was carving out for herself and didn’t know how to fix it. How to stop the endless train of work, sleep, and trying to forget.
Forget the way his midnight dark eyes would crinkle around the corners when he smiled. Forget about the way his arms felt as he held her. Stroked her spine. Her hair. Her soul.
Forget about the way his tongue had felt, prying apart her pussy, delving in. Sweetly sucking her need and desire into his mouth.
Hadley felt the response. The softening. The ache for him. How could a vacation fling turn into so much more?
There was no anger left inside of her. Hunter had been quite clear that his bear was broken. She didn’t know what she had expected when she’d driven off Maxwell Mountain two weeks ago. A phone call? A visit? What she hadn’t expected was the extended silence.
Her phone chirped. Lacey. With a sigh, Hadley put the phone back in her purse. Her heart was heavy, and her emotions were full.
Hadley stopped off at the nurse’s station to get her purse.
“Hey, Hadley. You looking for a new job, sugar?” Dara, one of the other nurses asked.
Hadley shrugged as she got her things out of her locker. “Haven’t decided, Dara. One of my friends married a shifter, and I was looking into maybe working at the Shifter Veterans Hospital. Read a report they’ve been understaffed for a while.”
Dara sniffed. “Doesn’t surprise me. Who’d want to work on those filthy animals anyway?”
Hadley stared at her co-worker in shock. She’d known there was resentment towards the shifters but hadn’t expected it from a medical professional.
“It’s not natural,” Dara said. She recorded something down on a patient’s chart, her hands growing jerky with her agitation. “DNA is better off left alone if you ask me.”
“Yeah, I don’t know why they didn’t ask you,” Hadley commented dryly. Every cell in her body wanted to shout and rant at the woman only yesterday she’d considered a friend. How had she missed Dara’s blatant bigotry? But fatigue drained her of anger and all Hadley could do was stare in numb disbelief at Dara.
A patient beeped for help, and, Dara, still avoiding Hadley’s gaze, ran to answer it.
“Coward,” Hadley muttered, but to herself or Dara she wasn’t sure.
Warm Carolina sunshine kissed Hadley’s face as she left the air-conditioned confines of the hospital. Warm April air cleansed her.
Hadley had done all she could. Had loved a man too broken to stay human. Had given all she had to the doctors and patients she worked for. She was drained. Empty. Desperately seeking a glass of chilled Riesling and a long sleep.
Legs aching, feet crying from the long shift, Hadley began the trek out to the employee parking lot. Hiding behind exhaustion wasn’t working. Not for her temper, her peace of mind, or her ability to function.
Hadley closed her eyes, swaying slightly on her feet. It was two weeks of no contact. If that wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was.
When she’d been a girl, her mother had a saying. When life gets you down, pull up your socks and try another day.
I’m pulling, Mama, Hadley thought.
Hadley’s steps slowed as she neared her car. There, leaning against the trunk like he’d been there all day, was Hunter.
He looked up, black eyes nearly feral with need, and zeroed his gaze on her.
“Hey,” she said lamely. Just what did one say to a lover who left you? She’d have to ask her mother if there was an etiquette guide to that.
“Hey,” he responded He cleared his throat nervously. “I um. Was wondering if we could talk?”
“What’s left to say, Hunter? You took off before I woke up.”
He nodded. “I came back. You’d already left without saying goodbye.”
“It’s difficult to have a conversation with a man who refuses to stay in human form,” Hadley said with more than a little tartness in her tone.
Hunter nodded. “I deserve that. But I’m here now. And human.”
“For how long?” Hadley asked. She felt his pain but wasn’t sure how to fix it.
“I realized something that week.” Hunter’s eyes were stark. Unguarded. “I have too much red in my ledger. Too much blood on my hands.” Hunter held his hands out for her to take. “But saving those kids? That was what I needed to do. That helped bring me back from the brink.”
Some soldiers die all at once. Others by inches.
Hadley slipped her hands into his and held their warm palms close to her. “I’m tired, Hunter. I don’t want to have this conversation in the parking lot at work.”
To emphasize her point, a car went past them a little too quickly. “We can talk at my place,” she finally said.
Hunter
The ride to Hadley’s apartment was quieter than Hunter would have liked. He was a shifter. He preferred action. Movement. Talking wasn’t in his wheelhouse.
“This is cute,” he offered as she parked in front of a condo with neat rows of flowers and a perfectly manicured lawn.
“Thank you,” Hadley said, but the words were by rote. His girl was tired. No, not just tired. Bone-deep fatigued. He’d seen it in the field.
Hadley poured them both a glass of wine. Hunter accepted his with a smile but didn’t drink it. It was only eight in the morning.
After a fortifying sip, Hadley looked up at him. “So, what’s t
his great revelation of yours?”
Hunter took her hand and led her to the couch. “Come here,” he urged, bringing her close. Tucking her into the V of his arm. “I realized my life was off its axis. I need to save lives, not just take them.”
Hunter brushed his nose against the silken strands of Hadley’s hair. He’d missed the way her body matched his. Two puzzle pieces that were built to fit each other.
“But for each child I save, I can maybe add some black in there, too. You know? I can’t bring back people who have died, either directly or indirectly by a war I’ve been involved in. But I can make it right in my soul.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?”
“I still have time owed to the government. But I’m no good to them like this. I don’t even think I can use my skills right now.” Hunter slid one hand out of Hadley’s and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “The government agreed to let me switch off. I’m still technically in the service, but I’ll be working for the National Forest Service. Fighting fires and being a smoke jumper.”
“The haze of battle will follow you forever,” Hadley said. “I can’t have a mate who hides from me.”
Hunter’s head bent. He nodded. “I can’t promise never to go bear,” he said. “I scared myself when I shifted in bed with you.” Tears clogged his throat, making each word hard to understand. “If I had hurt you, I was prepared to end my own worthless life, too.” He looked up, and Hadley felt a pulse in her heart. “I don’t want to live in a world without you, Hadley Mills.”
His chin tightened, and a single tear slipped down his lean honey-colored cheek. “I have appointments set up with the therapist at the Shifter Veterans Hospital. I’m not going back to another hotspot the government gets involved in.” A rueful grin kicked up one corner of his lips. “Just the hot spots in and around western North Carolina and eastern Tennessee.”
He wiped at his cheeks until the tears were gone. “I can’t promise anything except to love you with all my heart. Be there. Talk to you. I might slip up. I might want to hide for a while. But I vow, I am doing all I can to heal Bal. To heal me.
“Will you be a part of that life with me, Hadley?”
Snuffling through her tears, Hadley nodded. “Yes,” she said.
Hunter produced a blue velveteen box from his back pocket. “Hadley Mills, will you do me the honor of—”
“Yes, omigod, yes, a million, zillion times yes,” Hadley shouted as she barreled into his arms. Hunter caught her. Of course, he did, she thought as she peppered his face with kisses. He would always be there to catch her.
Epilogue
Little Yellow was abuzz with activity. Melody put the finishing touches on Hadley’s hair while Lacey flitted around adjusting the dress.
“You are stunning, Hadley,” Lacey finally said. “I love the way the crystals come in, accentuating your waist.” Tears filled her eyes. “You’re a beautiful bride.”
“A sort of bride,” Hadley corrected.
Lacey waved her hand as if to scoff at Hadley’s words. “A commitment ceremony by any other name, girl. You know legally they can’t marry us.”
Hadley set her chin. “Yet.” There had to be a way to get shifters full rights.
“Hey, hey, there’s no crying at weddings,” Hadley said.
“That’s baseball,” Melody corrected.
Hadley bit back a grin. “Because if you start crying, I’m going to start crying.”
“Okay. Got you. No more tears.” Lacey blew her nose.
“I am not doing ya’lls makeup again if you smear it,” Melody warned.
Hadley laughed, feeling content for the first time in a long time. In less than an hour, she was marrying the man of her dreams, and she had two amazing bridesmaids at her side.
“I can’t believe you found a llama pin to wear to my wedding,” Hadley teased.
“You can’t fight it,” Lacey teased. “Llamas are cool. In fact, ‘Llama comes the bride’ will be a new thing. I’m sure of it.”
The doorbell rang, and all three friends frowned. “Who uses the doorbell?” Hadley asked.
“I didn’t even know there was a doorbell on Little Yellow,” Lacey said.
Hadley opened the door. “Can I help you?” she asked. The girl was stunning. There was no other word for it. Tall and willowy with coal-black hair that fell to her waist.
Well. Hello there, baby bump, Hadley thought.
“I’m looking for Hunter,” she said, dark almond shaped eyes turning cautious as she took in Hadley’s state of dress.
A resounding refrain of “no” echoed in Hadley’s mind. No way. Couldn’t be. There were no secrets between mates. He couldn’t possibly have a baby with this beautiful young woman.
“I’m Hadley. Hunter’s fiancée. Can I help you?”
The young woman’s shoulders relaxed. “So, he is here? Oh, thank you! That means the world to me.” Her smile grew hesitant again. “I um. Guess you’re curious about me, huh?”
Hadley nodded slowly, feeling a bit like Alice down the rabbit hole. “A bit, yes.”
“I’m Kimber. Kimberly,” she corrected. “Hunter’s sister.”
Hadley’s mouth dropped open in shock. She did a happy little dance. “You are the perfect surprise,” she squealed. She took the younger girl by the hand and led her inside Little Yellow. “Hey, girls, do we have an extra dress somewhere? I have another bridesmaid.”
The end
Do you remember the first time you fell in love with a bear shifter?
For me, it was the tale of Red-Rose and Snow-White. I was six or seven when my mom came home from a yard sale book that contained the story of two sisters named their mother’s favorite roses. They fall in love (naturally!!) with bear shifter brothers.
For years, I wanted to read that book. How did the young prince get stuck as a bear? Why didn’t his brother show up until the very end?
Finally, I realized no one else was going to write it. So, I did.
Please find the first chapter of Red. Set in the town of Thistle Grove and populated by Fables, exiled after the War of the Wicked Witches. This leans more fantasy adventure, safe for bear shifter lovers of all ages.
Chapter One
Twenty years after the Treaty of the Wicked Witches
There were two daughters who were like rose-trees. One snow-white and the other rose-red.
The Cake Fairy was a small bakery on the edge of Thistle Grove’s shopping district. Snow-White and her sister Red-Rose had opened the little shop two years ago and were an overnight success. Everyone in the town of Thistle Grove knew that while Snow could bake the best cakes and cupcakes in town, Red had the glib tongue and imagination to sell two of everything her sister could bake. And usually, before they were even out of the oven.
After the War of the Wicked Witches twenty years ago, where Paulina the Malevolent kicked the residents of the Woodlands out, the Fables had established the village of Thistle Grove. The hamlet, nestled into the mountains and was surrounded by the forest, had grown into a vibrant town with a picturesque Main Street dotted with small shops and restaurants. Humans and fables lived side by side and took care to avoid going deep into the Woods for fear of invoking the wrath of Paulina and her coven.
Snow and Red were as close as two sisters could be, and one always took care of the other. Family legend said that after their father had built their mother Olga a cabin, the first thing she did was plant two rose bushes. One bloomed as red as spring’s first cardinal. The other bloomed as white as winter’s first snow. Because they were so beautiful, Olga named her daughters after them. Red-Rose was full of passion and drive. Snow-White was a girl with a gentle touch and full of loving support.
Today, Red and Snow were putting the finishing touches on a batch of blueberry cupcakes. Snow inhaled, enjoying the creamy, rich scent of blueberries and the sugary confection of icing. She handled the icing bag with practiced ease as each cupcake received a swirl of blueberry-cream cheese icing. Sno
w wiped her brow with the back of one slim hand and pushed the bangs of her raven-black hair away from her eyes.
“These look so good,” twenty-two-year-old Red-Rose said to her younger sister as she took the finished tray and put them in the display case. “I blame you if I need to get a bigger dress,” Red teased, rubbing her belly. “They are going to sell like hotcakes.”
Snow snorted with laughter. “This is a bake shop. Let’s hope they sell as well as my chocolate chip cookies.”
“Duly noted,” Red said with a gentle laugh. “But nothing sells like your chocolate chip cookies.” Long strands of silky auburn hair began pulling free of her braid, giving her a wild, untamed look. Red sighed and pulled the whole thing out. With deft fingers, she tightly re-braided her long red hair and secured it with a string. “Did you hear they’re sending another search party out for the baron and his brother?”
Snow looked up from cleaning the workstation, her soft spring-green eyes concerned. “The last search party didn’t go so well,” she said, biting her lip. Three of the men had not returned. “Do you think they’ll be able to find Tristan and Baron Griffin?”
“Calling them by their first names now?”
Snow blushed the bright pink shade a stark contrast to her pale skin. “Fine. Do you think they’ll find Baron Knox and his brother? Does that satisfy you, Red?” Using her hip, Snow bumped into her sister, and they both giggled.
“I hope they do. I miss seeing them around town,” Red said.
“You miss the baron visiting the shop for hours on end, lost in conversation with you.” Snow batted her eyes in imitation of her sister’s flirting.
Red shrugged and smiled but did not deny the charge. “I noticed you had no problem keeping Tristan entertained while Griffin and I talked.”
“Can I tell you something?” Snow smiled up through her bangs and blushed. She desperately cursed her fair skin for showing every blush but knew her secrets were safe with her sister.
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