Role of a Lifetime

by Wilhelm, Amanda

  "That's why you go to the hospitals?" Holly asked quietly.

  "Yeah, I guess, I mean, I've played the hero in so many movies and it's all fake, wires and now CGI and it seems glorious, but it's fake," he said, "I don't know, I'm not being conceited, I don't think me being there, at the hospital, is really worth much of anything, but it's what I can do, so I do it. But you," he looked up at her and made eye contact and Holly felt a surge of warmth for him flow through her, "I mean, we know so much more now about PTSD and trauma, mental trauma, I mean, if we can do something that actually helps, so another kid doesn't have to lose their dad, or mom either, I guess, I would feel really good about that."

  "I would too," Holly said softly, "I just don't know if I'm up to it."

  "Come here," he said, motioning her to his side of the table.

  She slid out of her side of the booth and took the two steps over to his. She sat down and he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her tightly to him.

  "We'll figure it out together," he said, "No pressure."

  "Okay," Holly said, "No pressure."

  "But one thing we have to do right now is finish this cake."

  They both looked at the cake.

  "I"m really not as hungry as I thought," Holly confessed.

  "We cannot waste this cake, it's too good."

  "Then we really do have a problem."

  "Yup."

  They sat there, not talking, Holly snuggled up against Kelly's side, his arm still firmly around her until the waitress came back.

  "Hey do you guys need to take that home? Do you want a box?"

  Holly smiled at Kelly and he smiled back.

  "Yes," they said at the same time.

  Chapter 15

  Kelly finished drying off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He went back into the room and checked his phone. Nothing from Holly yet. He went back into the hotel bathroom to shave. By the time he was done getting dressed she had texted him and he texted her back that she could pick him up anytime. He packed up his overnight bag, noting ruefully that the extra clothes he had brought with him would have to be washed when he got home, despite not having been worn. He thought about changing his flight before she picked him up, but decided to wait, just in case. He left the room and went downstairs.

  "Can I help you?" the girl behind the desk said.

  "I'm checking out," Kelly said and he put the key-card on the counter and slid it over to her, "Room 203."

  "Okay," she said. She looked intently at the computer, then at Kelly, then at the computer again.

  "Is there a problem?" he asked. He wasn't in a huge hurry, he had a good ten minutes before Holly would be there to pick him up, but he wanted to grab a cup of coffee before she got there.

  "Nothing, you're all set, it's just, I thought you were Kelly Rockport for a minute, sorry I'm being stupid."

  "It's okay," Kelly said.

  The room had been charged under a pseudo name and prepaid on a corporate credit card.

  "Have a nice day."

  "You too," Kelly said and headed towards the breakfast area set up on the other side of the lobby.

  He was headed to the door when the woman left the front desk and headed to the breakfast table. She was focused on checking the coffee and the muffins so he looked her over thoroughly. She was pretty sweet and he wondered what her reaction would have been if he had admitted to being himself. He chugged the rest of the coffee, threw the cup away, and went outside to wait for Holly. The cool morning air was just what he needed.

  They had stayed at the diner till after midnight, just talking. Finally Kelly had insisted they leave when Holly couldn't stop yawning. He had said nothing but had crossed his fingers in his head that she would drive right to her house. When she had driven straight back to the hotel he had debated asking her up to his room for about half a second, then changed his mind.

  He was pretty confused. She liked him, obviously. She had a kid so she couldn't be completely inexperienced. But she obviously had some serious reservations about sleeping with him. When she dropped him off the night before, he kissed her long and hard in the car in the parking lot, hoping it would leave her wanting more, but prepared to continue to wait if necessary.

  Getting a woman to have sex with him was a challenge Kelly hadn't faced in a very long time. Usually they were more than happy, as soon as they met him, to hop into his bed, or, Kelly thought grimly, as in the case of the flight attendant yesterday, the bathroom on the plane. Whatever Holly's reasons he was starting to respect her determination for sticking by her convictions, and not being swayed by his celebrity and his money. But the lower half of his body was inclined to disagree with that assessment.

  She pulled up right to the door and he got in the car.

  "Good morning, I got you a coffee," she said pointing the cup holder, "I wasn't a hundred percent sure how you like so I just put the cream and sugar on the side."

  "You look good," Kelly said and leaned over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

  "I do?"

  "Yes, you don't believe me?"

  "I don't know," she laughed, "Well, I did take a shower so I guess I clean up okay."

  "I'll skip the sugar I guess," Kelly said as she stepped on the gas.

  He focused on fixing his coffee so he would (hopefully) stop thinking about how good she smelled. She drove through her town pointing out the elementary school Lia had gone to and the town library. She turned at a mailbox that was barely visible from the road, down a long dirt driveway.

  "This is all yours?" Kelly said as they drove slowly down the bumpy road.

  "Nine acres," she said, "The house is set back a little bit."

  "How long have you been here?"

  "I bought it when Lia was four. After, after my husband died, I sold the house we had built."

  Kelly looked at her, the car was jiggling back and forth. He supposed the look on her face was sadness. He had never heard her talk about Lia's father before.

  "It was a big house," she said, "Way too big for the two of us and they had just finished the development, I got a lot of money for it. Plus it was closer to the city so it was worth more. I moved back in with my parents for a while, they were still doing half a year up here, half a year in Florida then, now they live down there, just my mom now, my dad died a while ago. Then when this place came up I just, fell in love with it, I guess."

  The house and the barn came into view. Kelly studied it. They were old, antique really, but well maintained.

  "What kind of tree is that?" he asked.

  "Peach, we have more out back, several different kinds," she said as she parked the car between the two buildings and got out. "Come on," she said, heading over to the barn.

  "Ummm, okay," Kelly said.

  He had started towards the house automatically.

  "Lia's still sleeping so I thought, well, you wanted to see my work right?"

  "Yes," Kelly said and followed her.

  She slid the hanging door open enough for them to enter.

  "You don't lock it?"

  "No."

  "This is for horses, isn't it?" he said looking around.

  There was a wide central area and stalls on either side.

  "Yes, technically, but we don't have horses. We got the first pet rabbit from the animal shelter when Lia was five. He lived almost twelve years. When Moby"

  "Moby?"

  "Yes, she named him Moby, not sure how she came up with that, when he died we were both so heartbroken we just had to have another rabbit. But when we went to the animal shelter she wanted Mercedes and I wanted Timber, and so," she stopped and grinned at him.

  God she's beautiful when she smiles, Kelly thought, and smiled back. Then he turned away to study the barn. It was well organized. One side seemed to be set up for the pottery, the other for painting.

  "I found the pottery wheel in here when I moved in," Holly said. "I didn't know how to do that but I learned eventually. Once I got good at it, it really
became about the painting the finished pieces. And then I started painting again."

  "Again?"

  "Yeah, I hadn't painted for a while."

  "Why?"

  "Why what?"

  "Why did you stop painting?" he asked as he strolled over to the painting side of the barn and started peering into the stalls. The canvases were leaning up against the sides of the stalls. He turned back to look at her and she was smiling, but not as brightly as before. Or maybe it was the light.

  "Ummm, Lia was young, it was hard to find the time, that's all. Come here," she said, waving him down towards the far end of the barn. "These are my favorites."

  He followed her into the last stall. It was a small collection. There was one of the house and barn that was breathtaking in its realism. It looked more like a photograph than a painting and he went closer to study it. When he turned around he was drawn to a large, enormous really, painting of a sunset.

  "That's incredible," he said, realizing he really didn't know anything about art and was probably making a total ass of himself. "The sunset, those colors, wow."

  "It's a sunrise actually," Holly said.

  He looked at her, but she was totally serious.

  "Is there a difference?" he asked.

  "Ummm," she said and now he wasn't imagining it, she looked worried.

  "Well, it's stunning, I guess I just said sunset because I've seen a heck of a lot more of those."

  She didn't say anything, and he crossed the stall in a couple of large strides, and grabbed her. He wanted to kiss her again, and more, a lot more, but instead he spun her around and held her from behind.

  "Look at that," he said, wrapping his arms around her. Gently but firmly he clasped her to him, the whole length of her body up against his, "You did that? And that one, over there, of the house? Holly, you are very talented, how could you have ever been worried about showing this stuff to me?"

  "Sorry," she said, sniffing.

  "Don't be sorry," he said and kissed the back of her head, "Show me more."

  They spent the better part of an hour in the barn, Holly showing Kelly all her work, explaining how the wiring for the kiln had been an expensive nightmare, and the wood stove had been a little simpler, but just as expensive, but now she was so happy to have both of them. They headed over to the house.

  "I thought we'd eat a little healthier today, I got some chicken for the grill, salad."

  "Well after yesterday that's probably a good idea," Kelly said.

  They entered the house through the front door.

  "Lia?" Holly called and waited but there was no answer, "Jeez, that kid still isn't up yet, good grief, I'll be right back."

  She kicked off her shoes and went upstairs. Kelly walked in the opposite direction and found himself in the middle of the living room. There was a collage of photographs on the wall and he went to look at it. Pictures of Holly and Lia and Holly's husband.

  "Hi."

  Kelly looked up to see Lia standing in the doorway on the other end of the room.

  "Lia, hi," he said.

  She came into the room and stood beside him.

  "My mom and dad," she said. "They met in college, that's the first semi-formal they went to, see," she said pointing.

  Kelly looked at Lia, then at the picture. It was Holly all right. Younger but definitely her. He wasn't sure what to say to Lia. So he just kept looking at the pictures. Mostly formal shots, more dances and school events. Eventually what must have been the engagement photo, then the wedding. Holly and her husband when she was pregnant with Lia. The three of them just after Lia had been born, probably. Kelly looked through the last of the photographs watching Lia change from infant to baby to toddler. He stopped when he got to the last picture and looked at Lia for confirmation before he knew what he was doing.

  "Yeah, she was pregnant," Lia said, "The baby died in the accident too."

  "Sorry," Kelly said automatically and she shrugged.

  "I don't remember it, I don't remember my dad at all, just from the pictures. Mom never talks about him. Sometimes," Lia said, then stopped.

  "What?"

  "I just don't think she's ever really gotten over it, you know, not really."

  Kelly nodded, but it wasn't just in agreement. He had a much better idea of what was going on now.

  "Oh, there you are, Lia."

  Holly stopped talking as she came into the living room and saw them in front of the photographs.

  "I just realized I need to confirm my flight for tonight," Kelly said, pulling out his phone and walking away.

  He did need to confirm his flight, specifically changing it from Friday to that evening. There was no problem getting a seat in first class and even though the fee was ridiculous Kelly didn't care. Holly needed more time and he was going to give it to her. It all made sense now. It wasn't going to be fun to keep waiting but he would. For as long as it took.

  Chapter 16

  Lia took one look at Holly's face and fled.

  "I'm going to finish my breakfast," she said as she left the room quickly.

  Holly looked at Kelly but he had his back to her so she turned back around and the photo collage was like a smack in the face. Sometimes she managed to ignore it, for years at at time, almost.

  She remembered the day, every detail about that day, Lia had been in Pre-K. She had bought the house when Lia was four, but the renovations had taken over six months. Her parents were leaving for Florida after Thanksgiving and they wouldn't be back till the spring. Her mom was panicking because Holly still had piles of boxes sitting everywhere.

  Holly had dropped Lia off at preschool, then gone to the supermarket, then done a bunch of errands. She hadn't had time to go home, she had to pick Lia up from school and go right to story time at the library. Then she had taken Lia to her five year old checkup.

  She had been exhausted when she got home, Lia had freaked out when she had found out they were going to the doctor, so Holly was actually relieved to see her parents' car in the driveway. Gina, Holly's mom would keep Lia entertained while Holly got diner ready. Or, if Holly was really lucky, her mom may have even brought along a casserole and it was already to go into the oven.

  "Gammi's here," she told Lia, "And Gampi. Oh wait till I stop to get out please."

  Lia had recently learned how to undo the seat belt but seemed unable to master the concept that jumping out of a moving car was dangerous. Holly had watched her daughter run into the house, then gone to the trunk to grab a bag of groceries. She briefly considered the cooler, which was filled with the meat and other perishables she had bought, but then grabbed one of the other bags. She went into the house through the front door.

  One of the strange things about the house that never made sense to her was that the back door to enter the kitchen was about as far away from the driveway as you could get. She eventually had decided that since the house predated vehicles the kitchen had been located as far away from the barn as possible, which actually did make sense, just wasn't practical for this millennium.

  She walked into her living room to find her dad sitting on the couch, his nose in the newspaper. Her mom was holding Lia, pointing to stuff on the wall. Pictures that hadn't been hanging on the wall when Holly had left that morning. She had walked over, more curious than annoyed. That was the first time that wall of pictures had smacked her in the face, figuratively, that is.

  "Don't be mad," her mom said, "I was going through your boxes and found these, remember how you had them on the stairway at the other house? I had an idea and well, doesn't it look nice like this?"

  "Gammi."

  "What Lia?"

  "I have to poop! I have to poop right now!"

  "Okay, honey, go poop," Holly's mom said laughing, and set Lia down. Lia took off like a shot towards the bathroom. Holly watched her go, she didn't want to look at her mother, "Honey?"

  Holly realized she was still holding the bag of groceries, which had gotten extremely heavy for some reason. Bu
t she didn't want to set it down. She squeezed it tighter.

  "Honey," Gina said gently, "Lia's going to need to know who her father was. It's good for her, I think, to see these, to know. Even if it's hard for you."

  "Mom," Holly said, choked out, actually.

  "Honey," her mom said, coming closer and grabbing the grocery bag out of Holly's arms. She set the bag down on the floor and grabbed the sides of Holly's shoulders with both her hands. It was a position Holly was very familiar with. "Sweetie, you have done so great, since the accident, I admit we weren't sure about this house, but it's beautiful. You did a great job and you're a great mom, we are so proud of you."

  Holly didn't say anything, she couldn't. She never did when he had held her like that. She had learned that whatever she said would only make it worse. Holly's mother sighed and released her.

  "Teddy, tell her we're proud of her."

  "What your mother said," Holly's dad said, without looking up from the newspaper.

  "Ted!"

  "What?"

  "Tell your daughter you are proud of her."

  Ted flapped the newspaper down to his lap and looked at Holly, "We're proud of you, Wren." Then he glared at his wife, "Satisfied Gina?"

  Gina glared back at him then turned back to Holly, "I know it's hard honey, do you want me to take them down?' Holly didn't answer. Gina looked her over closely before speaking again, "I'll tell you what, why don't you live with them for a...week, and then take them down if you want, okay?"

  "They look nice Mom, thanks," Holly said, "I know you, meant well."

  "I did honey, I only want what's best for you and Lia."

  "I know."

  "Holly?"

  Kelly startled her out of her memories and she realized what it must have looked like to him, her staring at those pictures. No, she told herself, and the pictures, firmly. I like Kelly. He's a good man. He likes me. None of this matters anymore. She turned her back on the photographs and turned to Kelly and smiled.

  "Sorry," she said and he shook his head.

  "So you did this? All the renovations?"

  "Well I paid for them, I didn't do much myself personally. You want the grand tour?"