Slowly she made her way into the stall. Most of the paintings were there because she loved both the subject matter and the way it had turned out. But not the sunrise. That was there for an entirely different reason. It was the first painting she had done after…everything. The first one she had done when she started painting again. Holly fingered the edge of the canvas, remembering how Kelly had liked it. Or maybe he had just been being nice. But if he had just been being nice, well, wasn't that just, nice of him?
She grabbed the painting and went over to the house. In the living room there were three big splashes of color on the wall. When she had picked the samples she had been overwhelmed by the selection, especially the dark, bold colors that seemed to be all the rage. So she had stuck with lighter tones, one blue, one yellow, and one cream, the cream color closest to what the room had been for the past fourteen years.
Holly held her painting up to the paint color she had just committed to, by buying the gallon, but couldn't tell if it went with the painting. She needed someone to hold it up for her and opened her mouth to call for Lia automatically. Then Holly remembered. She couldn't believe it, all the months Lia had been away at college and Holly still wasn't used to it, not really. Holly wanted to stand back and look at the painting against the wall, but Lia wasn't there to help her. Lia was gone, really gone and she wasn't coming back, not really. After much discussion, and many e-mails, Holly had agreed to let Lia go to Maine for the summer.
Holly set the painting down and stormed off into the kitchen. She came back with a kitchen chair. By putting the chair against the wall and the oversize painting on the chair she could kind of get a feel for it.
"Screw it," she said out loud, "Ivory goes with everything."
She forced her eyes to the photographs. Then she picked the painting up, snorted in annoyance and slid the chair down the length of the wall until it was under the photographs. She set the painting down and stood back again. The painting would cover almost all the holes. She didn't even have to patch all of them. As soon as she thought that she realized she was patching the holes. Every last one.
She picked the painting up and carried it to the back room and leaned it up against the wall opposite the rabbit area.
"Enjoy guys," she told Timber and Mercedes.
The rabbits both pranced to the front of their pens and rose up on their hind legs at her. She took the time to pat them both, and then both again. They didn't want her to stop and she didn't want to either. But she had put it off long enough.
She marched back to the living room. The entire room was prepped, save for the wall of pictures. The furniture had been moved out, or to the center, and what was left was covered. She had cleaned the trim and masked it off with painting tape. The floor was completely covered with newspaper. Holly only got the Sunday paper, for the coupons, and the once a week local paper, but she saved every one for the rabbits' litter boxes so she had had enough.
She went right to the first picture. She reached for it and stopped, her fingers resting gently on the sides. She looked happy in that picture and she had been. Very happy. She had been thrilled when he had asked her. Hell, her roommate and almost every other girl on the floor of the dorm had been thrilled, if not jealous. She had the first of her doubts that night, little ones, tiny, but when she got back to her dorm room, everyone couldn't wait to hear about it and tell her how lucky she was.
The next day he had sent her a dozen red roses and that, she supposed, was it. It had felt so good to be wanted, and envied, that all it had taken was twenty dollars’ worth of damn flowers. She had spent the next ten years trying to recapture that feeling and had never felt it again. Glimpses of it, sure. Less intense versions of it, definitely. Holly's fingers curled tightly around the picture and she forced herself to take a deep breath.
"Lia," she said out loud, "You got Lia. That's all that matters now. Why can't you remember that Holly? Why?"
She let go of the picture and stepped back from the wall. She marched out to the barn and brought back the two boxes. Quickly but carefully she removed each picture in chronological order, wrapped each one in newspaper and stashed it in one of the boxes. When she was done she got out the packing tape and sealed both boxes. Wrote "Pictures for Lia" on them and stashed them in the closet of the spare bedroom. She had been going to put them in Lia's room, but decided not to chance Lia finding them, and possibly asking questions.
Then she got to work on the wall. She pulled every nail and patched every hole. Then she forced herself to take a break and eat a sandwich. When she was done she was worried the spackle wasn't dry yet so she started painting the adjacent wall. It was well after midnight when she was done.
The next morning the repaired wall pleased her so much that she almost took the painting back out to the barn. It wasn't until the day before she was to leave for LA that she figured out the empty wall just reminded her of the pictures and she hung up the sunrise. She might never forget, much as she wanted to, but she was sure, as she stood back and looked at her painting, a reminder of what could be was better than a reminder of what had been.
Chapter 42
"Now! Pop up now!"
She got it. Kelly watched as Holly stood up and waited for her to fall off as she had countless times that morning. She didn't. She rode for a good five feet and the look on her face was priceless. Then she fell off.
Kelly paddled over to her and grabbed at the board just as she popped up.
"You okay?" he asked.
He put one hand on her board to keep it from knocking into her but it wasn't easy to control it.
"Yes, I did it, whoops!" she said as the board knocked into her shoulder.
"Get back up," he said.
She pulled herself up onto her board and laid on her stomach, gripping the sides. Her hair was poking every which way out of the helmet Kelly had insisted she wear and she lay on the board grinning ear to ear at him. It would have been a perfect picture if not for the damn wet suit. But the water was way too cold not to wear a wet suit.
"So what do you think?" he asked her.
"I like it."
"Do you want to do it again?"
"Yes."
"How are your arms?"
"Like spaghetti."
That wasn't surprising. The overwhelming majority of the time spent surfing was spent paddling.
"So do you want to take a break?"
"No!"
"Alright then, go ahead."
They paddled back out side by side. The waves were tiny by surfing standards but perfect for a beginner. The surf had been bigger all week and though Kelly had finished work over a week ago they had not been able to go out. He had her practice popping up on the deck, and they had gone to rent what she needed, except for the wet suit. That he had bought her.
"Hang on," he said as the wave came at them.
He usually dove under as he was paddling out but the wave wasn't even big enough for that. Instead he rolled away from her. When he popped up she was right next to him.
"What do you call that?" she asked.
"Turtle roll, you need to learn that, just not today."
"Tomorrow?"
"You might want to wait and see how your arms are tomorrow. Plus tomorrow we've got a lot to do."
"Like what?"
"What?" Kelly said, "You're joking right?"
"Oh, yeah the premiere, I almost forgot about that."
She grinned at him again and he thought maybe she had forgotten about it, but he didn't care. When she had first come out to California she had been stuck on east coast time for a few days. He'd wake up and find her reading in the living room. Most days he'd drag her right back to bed. Kelly couldn't remember being this happy. And now she actually liked surfing.
"Can I go?"
He had been day dreaming about taking her to Hawaii but her voice brought him back to reality. He looked back over his shoulder.
"Get ready, paddle. Paddle!" he yelled at her. "Stand up!"
&n
bsp; He watched her ride her second wave and, like the first, paddled over to her when she fell off. The kept at it for a while but then Kelly insisted they take a break when he could tell she was getting tired. They carried their boards up the beach to the blanket and cooler they had brought. Kelly unzipped his wet suit to his waist and peeled it off his arms. Holly took off her helmet and set it down in the sand.
"Oh god, my arms feel like rubber," Holly said.
"Here," Kelly said and reached for her.
He unzipped her suit to her waist and slid it off her upper body. His intention was to massage her arms but he was well aware that the bikini, even just the top, was a heck of a lot hotter than the wet suit. He was looking down at her cleavage when he grabbed her upper arms and dug his fingers into her triceps, trying to find the right spot. She made a small noise and tried to pull away from him but he had too tight a hold on her.
"What?" he said looking into her face. She wasn't happy anymore but he wasn't sure why. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you? I'm just trying to massage it out." She didn't say anything and he let go, holding his hands up in the universal gesture of surrender. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she said, but she wasn't.
Kelly sat down on the blanket and motioned for her to sit between his legs. She hesitated and he reached for her hand and pulled her down. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. The smell of her plus the ocean was too much and he pulled back a little bit and reached for her shoulders.
He took his time, rubbing her shoulders and working his way up to her neck and back down again. When he moved down to her arms the reverse position meant he had to use just his thumbs on the back of her arms. It took longer but he kept at it until she sighed.
"God that feels great," she said and sagged back against him.
He gave up on the massage and enfolded her in his arms again. He kissed the side of her neck and she turned enough to kiss him. It was a quick kiss, they were on a pretty quiet spot of the beach, mid-week during work hours for most of the population, but they were far from alone. When she turned back to face the water he kissed her on the cheek.
"So you like surfing?" he asked her.
"Mmmmm, yes," she said, nestling up against him a little closer.
"Good."
"It's good?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Kelly used his mock serious voice, "Kind of deal breaker, so I'm glad it worked out."
"Oh really," she said, and turned around more this time.
"Yup."
"I don't believe you," she said and slid both her legs up over his right one. It wasn't easy, wet suits don't slide, especially not across one another, but when she was done she was kind of half in his lap, half still between his legs.
"It's true," Kelly said, but he was just trying to distract her while he fingered her nipple through her bathing suit.
"I know what you're doing," she said.
"And do you like it?"
"Yes."
He glanced around and there was nobody close by so he slipped his hand down but the wet suit was an impassible obstruction.
"Dammit," he said and she giggled.
"You know what I want to do?" she said, "right now?"
"I think so," Kelly said.
"Good," she said and leapt out of his grasp, "Let's go surfing."
"Are you kidding me?" Kelly yelled at her. He got up, somewhat awkwardly and chased her. He didn't have any trouble catching her and when he did he spun her around and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around him for a second and then let them drop.
"You are a horrible tease," he told her.
"Me, that was all you back there, you, I didn't start anything."
"You don't have to," he told her and kissed her again. He pulled away abruptly.
"Hey!" she said.
"See, you don't like it when I do it." He kissed her nose and when her eyes fluttered closed against the wind coming off the ocean, both her eyelids. "So you want to surf more?"
"Yes."
"Boy I've created a monster, haven't I? Okay, more surfing on one condition."
"What?"
"I get to have you when we get home. As soon as we get home."
"What about dinner with Mabel?"
They had plans to take Mabel out to dinner. Mabel did not want to go to the physical therapy she had been prescribed and Kelly had promised to take her out to dinner after each weekly session if she cooperated. This was week number two and, though Kelly was happy to take Mabel out to dinner, he figured the poor physical therapist who had to put up with her was probably more deserving of the free meal.
"As soon as we get home, or no surfing," Kelly told Holly sternly.
"Okay, it's a deal," she said.
They surfed for another hour and then ate the sandwiches they had brought. When they got back to the car he made her pose standing with her board, the ocean behind her.
"That's my new wallpaper," he said, and changed it.
"Let me see," Holly said and Kelly held out the phone to her. "Are you kidding, look at my hair."
"Your hair looks great."
"It does not. I have helmet hair."
"Surfing hair, come on, let's go, quit stalling."
"I'm not stalling."
She took her wet suit off and handed it to Kelly. She pulled her shorts on and climbed into the front seat. He stored the wet suit in the back with his and got in. She leaned back in the seat and sighed.
"Tired?" he asked her.
"Exhausted, but in a good way."
"Do you want to try to go back out to the store later?" he asked her as he pulled the car out of the spot. Even as he said it, he wasn't sure they could fit it in. Taking Mabel shopping with them after dinner, well that would be interesting.
"Which store?" she asked him.
"The art store, you still need that stuff, what was it again?"
"The gesso?"
"Yes, that."
She had been grateful for the stuff he had bought her, even told him she wanted to start trying to paint the ocean, something she had never done before. But apparently the canvases needed to be treated before you could paint on them. They had been making dinner and he had googled it on his phone while she had explained it.
"Do you know what that stuff is?" he asked her, somewhat horrified.
"Oh god no, just the acrylic stuff, not the ummm...original. The acrylic works fine."
"Kelly,"
Her voice brought him back to the present.
"What?"
"It's just, it's messy, painting and especially the gesso, and it stinks, really stinks, that's why the barn works out so well."
"Okay, I just,"
"What?"
"I want you to be happy here, and I know your work is important to you."
"It is, and I'm happy here. Thank you."
"No problem."
"No I mean it, the fact that you, care about my work, that means a lot to me."
He glanced at her quickly, but with her sunglasses he couldn't tell if there were tears in her eyes. But it sure sounded like there were.
"Hey," he said, squeezing her thigh, "We'll work it out, okay."
"Okay."
"Acrylic gesso, maybe you could do that in the garage if it stinks so bad."
"Maybe."
He let his hand rest on her thigh the whole way home, except when he needed to shift. As he turned down his street he slid his fingers up under her shorts.
"What are you doing?" she said, turning to face him.
"We have a deal, remember?"
"Oh right."
He didn't waste any time when they got home. As the garage door was closing he rounded the jeep and met her on her side of the car. With the wet suit of the way, his fingers found the spot they been craving on the beach and when Holly moaned, he got more excited and tugged her shorts and bikini bottom off. Then he bent down in front of her and used his tongue.
She was grabbing the vehicle
with one hand and his shoulder with the other when she came, crying out loudly. She sagged back against the seat when he released her to pull his bathing suit off. He grabbed a condom from the outside pocket of the cooler in the back. She looked at him, surprised.
"Sorry," he said.
"You are always prepared, aren't you?" she said.
"Sorry."
"Don't be," she said and turned around.
"Oh god," Kelly said.
He put the condom on as quickly as he could and started pushing inside her. When he was as deep as he could be he let go of her hips and slid his hands up her back. He undid the hook of her top and reached around the front of her, grabbing her breasts. He was really worked up so it didn't take long, but man it was good.
“You okay?" he asked her, kissing the back of her shoulder. He had to pull out but he didn't want to, not yet.
"Mmm, hmmm. Kelly?"
"What?"
He thought she was going to tease him, about the right when we get home part. But what she said made him even happier, he wouldn't have thought it was possible. He knew, right then, he'd never get tired of hearing it.
"I love you," she murmured.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her as close as possible.
"I love you more."
Chapter 43
"Tell me who it was."
The shot switched to Zoe who shook her head "no." Then back to Kelly.
"Tell me."
The shot panned back and when Zoe shook her head again Kelly didn't ask a third time. He shoved her, hard. Zoe fell back onto the couch and Holly let out a small moan. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kelly glance at her but she ignored him and he turned his attention back to the film.
Holly's next thought was that the couch was a softer landing than the floor. Much softer. On screen, Kelly jumped on top of Zoe and Holly didn't want to see anymore but she didn't know how to look away without making it obvious.
Fifteen minutes later the movie was over and when the lights came back Holly took a second to check her hands before joining the rest of the audience in a standing ovation. It never failed to dumbfound her. Inside she felt as though every cell in her body was vibrating at a lightning speed but her hands were perfectly still.
Role of a Lifetime Page 16